GHOSTHiiTECH

Hell is a condition that I remain within.
I am trapped in the agony of my own mind,
for God did not see fit to include an escape
during my Creation.

My body is the barbed wire fence
around my jail.
He, in His Wisdom, made me healthy,
made me able-bodied,
but I, in defiance of His love,
starve and cut this vessel of mine.

All around me are souls free of their own prisons,
or at least with bigger, kinder cells than mine.
They wear the keys to freedom around their necks
and suffer not.
Meanwhile I freeze in the cold embrace of perception,
berating myself
as if I were the Devil.

I have sentenced myself to eternity alone,
yet I seek the path to nonexistence.
I, the selfish monster I have always been,
wish to leave this world,
leaving my agony behind
with the lives I have slithered into.

Every detail of Creation reminds me of my sins.
Salt in wounds I will not let heal.
Every memory a flame,
a red hot piece of metal
pressed to my skin.
I pray in labored breaths
that the singeing of my flesh
might be enough to exonerate me.

Each day on this Earth convinces me more
that I was not made to see Eternal Life.
My scarred body will not rise to rest beside the Lord.
I was born to lay in the ground forever,
eternally marked
with the injury that ends me.
I was not made to defile the embrace of Heaven,
but to fizzle out
like every other evil of the Earth.

To those I love,
I am a tick,
a finite blemish,
praying for a little more time
to be lied to
before I am wiped away.

prisoner of my own mind // forgot why I make music

Paging any Assassin

Tara's Album

DIVIDENDS

Performed by Ben Clark and Antonin Granier on 13.6.19 at LOOSE, LINE, LAYER in St. Mary-at-Hill, London.

The piece invites a child-like curiosity towards the instrument, and simply investigates its sonic possibilities. The materials arose from working collaboratively with percussionists Ben Clark and Antonin Granier. The first movement explores flexibility, the second looping elements, the third resonance.

Piece for three tuned cowbells (2019)

And/Or (2019) - 14 musicians and electronics - Turning Point Ensemble - live-recording

This work explores the micro-synchronicity within a pulsation to create timbral and musical situations that are:
organic and/or synthetic,
mechanical and/or lyrical,
symmetrical and/or asymmetrical,
integrated and/or separated,
on-the-beat and/or off-the-beat,



Performers: Turning Point Ensemble
Conductor: Owen Underhill
Electronics: Anthony Tan

And/Or (2019) - 14 musicians and electronics - Turning Point Ensemble

Wipeout 2098

wind tunnel . . .
a hummingbird fans
the morning glory

from freesound 179928__alucardsbride__mockingbird
74652__ifartinurgeneraldirection__hummingbird-fight-and-call

http://www.naviarrecords.com/about/naviar-haiku

The Humming Mockingbird (naviarhaiku355)

Short stories about being invisible and disappearing. Tried to call out ghosts while recording. Listen one by one. These stories tell one story. Enjoy the trip!

Underwater Funeral

I caught the eye of a beautiful stranger
Staring at me across the room
Far away look
But not so far away soon

Said hello to the beautiful stranger
Sultry looks put me in a trance
Then she asked me if I would care to dance

The night was young
And the moon was bright
We kissed and then to my delight
She said to me – Want to take me home ?

I grabbed my coat
She took her bag
The rain was steady, I hailed a cab
Heading out of London for the ride

Oh You know I met a beautiful Stranger
His Gaze has given me fever’s night
He impressed me so much
my soul Is in danger

I fell in love with a beautiful stranger
We loved and danced after all night through
He puts me in a trance
Hope it will never last

The night was young
And the moon was bright
We kissed and then with delight
I said to him – Want to take me home?

he grabbed his coat
I took my bag
The rain was steady, he hailed a cab
Heading out of London for a ride

Beautiful Stranger (Cé Mz / Pompeyjazz)

This is my 1st of 2 contributions to the Disquiet Junto 0473...a duet with moduS ponY's contribution 'New Unit' to disquiet0472. It is called 'Leaf Blower'

I recorded the sound of leaf blowers working in Kennington Park, South London, on a grey, covid-19 lockdown day, during my one rationed daily excursion. These leaf blowers appear twice, obviously, in the track but also inscrutably as the sampled waveform which provides the melodic/harmonic base. There is subtle modulation of the pitch, and filter throughout. Tools used include:

iPhone voice memos
Ableton live
Valhalla Delay and ValhallaVintageVerb
iZotope Mobius filter
Arturia Mini Filter
Roland keyboard controller

Torpid Scorpion

--
More on this 473rd weekly Disquiet Junto project — Placebo Effect (2 of 3) / The Assignment: Record the second third of a trio that others will complete — at:

https://disquiet.com/0473/ 1

More on the Disquiet Junto at:

https://disquiet.com/junto/

Subscribe to project announcements here:

https://tinyletter.com/disquiet-junto/

Project discussion takes place on llllllll.co:

https://llllllll.co/t/disquiet-junto-project-0473-placebo-effect/

There’s also a Disquiet Junto Slack. Send your email address to twitter.com/disquiet for Slack inclusion.

Image associated with this project is by Israel Avila, and used thanks to Flickr and a Creative Commons license allowing editing (cropped with text added) for non-commercial purposes:

https://flic.kr/p/5bFGMU 1

https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/