this is the first beat I bought and the first song I made with jolst :)

lyrics 

painful like a blister
optimism is a sickness
call a liar as ur witness
just to cover up ur tracks
contemplating on my wisdom
do u take the chance n miss em
do u turn around n kiss him
just to validate ur act
but u don't stick to ur bones
there's time to change ur mind n call ur parents n go home
christ, God, put down the phone
binary solarity too hard for u to cope

oh, I'm nothing but a stoner
I'm a deadweight better as a loner
u can cry girl I can be ur shoulder 
I'm alone and I'm only getting colder

my brain has faulty wiring
tryna get undone
the doctors call it bpd
I'm messed up as they come
cause every minor set back 
leaves the feeling of a gun
pressed to my head n then I panic
cause the the chamber to be spun
hey aren't u shamed?
aren't u so n sos ex?
idk maybe I'm just tryna forget
I find it kinda funny that I'm known for my regrets
but the people that uv loved will always try to get revenge
the pain is in my brain n I swear it's gonna last
I'm still got up on the shit that happened to me in my past
disregarding all my feelings cause the time is moving fast
and my friends are placing bets on how long they think ima last
oh I bet that I'll see u in the nighttime 
bad dreams, cracked seams with the red eyes 
my bloods worth less than ur damn time
I'm a corpse tryna fight off these damn flies
oh I already told ya
I won't be sober till some point after October
time flies everyday we gettin older
we grindin hard, we just tryna find some closure

binary solarity (Jolst)

Look at all this pain I’m in
I can't find myself again
I could never be your friend
I don’t like your energy
Taking its control of me
Grip too tight my lungs can’t breathe
Finding it impossible
I won’t feel myself again
Myself again
I won’t feel myself again
Myself again

Can’t take the words you say back
Just know I never forgot that
Feelings about to attack
Hard to cope when there’s a knife in my back
Is this what you want
Love to spill my blood
You do this just for fun
It looks like you’ve won

Don’t look back
I don’t know why everybody says that
The past is somewhere that I wanna be at
It hurts to say, but I get sentimental

Look at all this pain I’m in
I can't find myself again
I could never be your friend
I don’t like your energy
Taking its control of me
Grip too tight my lungs can’t breathe
Finding it impossible
I won’t feel myself again
Myself again
I won’t feel myself again
Myself again

idontlikeyou

love it when im feelin lost...

lyrics:

Cause i give everything for everybody its like
Nothing i give is alright
Im always tossed to the side
Stranded im an island
left with nothing again
This is how it all ends
Im always left here for death
Caution on my heart
Fragile marked on the sides
Signs of usage inside
Think im broken for life
Numbing everything behind this wall made of smoke
Hiding all of my features inside this bottle i hold

Nights been feelin bleak and my whole body feels tired
Im wasting my time lookin at sparks from my lighter
Rings around my eyes look like tree stumps in a forest
Eons here in silence branches grew looking bent
Moss has grown inside my hair got bugs all over my skin
Blood leakin out of my pores i feel so nauseous again
Got cuts all over my wrists
Oh god these scars have grown big
Last night i thought that i died
But i woke up here again
Im upset

Im addicted to my flaws
Love it when im feeling lost
When im bent over my sink 
Wishing i just didnt live
Im addicted to my drugs
Love it when im feelin sick
Love it when i cannot think
About this life i have to live
Im addicted to my skin
Love it when i see it bleed
Like tears dropping in the wind
Hope i bleed out on my sink
Im addicted to my thoughts
Love how they feel like a hug
I feel cold inside their arms
But Im addicted to them all

hope i bleed out on my sink (prod. metlast x smokerose)

since ur last message - one take

[Non-Profit]
Mixed/Mastered By Me
-
Produced By https://soundcloud.com/nciku
-
(Lyrics)
perfect for me 
I'm always crying in the cold nights
this is something we gotta talk about 
but some days just get harder 
i don't wanna do this no more
i want you , you want me 
we're such a perfect match 
i know we won't collapse 
don't get bored of me 
i know that I'm too much 
i'm trying to be perfect

it's always silent in the cold night 
the weather is so cold without you 
and i love you 
don't want this to end 
I'll hold you till the end
just notice that i care 
i trust you with my heart
i just wanna be there 
i just love you way too much

i love you (nciku)

both beats prod neverforever and audio clip from the big lez show (sassy)

lyrics

never get bored of this scent, yet its far from my first
put the gun between my eyes and do your worst
im breathing still, feeling im used to i forget what is real
let me tell you the deal
when hearts are involved it is more than to steal

its just a phase its just a phase ok
choosing my mood and my thoughts
im gonna start today

you were the one for me 
but your not the one for me no more
im talking bout trust you see?
it only takes once for me draw the line

ill see you again in time 
even if theres no other life

sassy mumbo jumbo

beat switch

i cant help but feel somethings missing
black and white still cant distinguish
she communicates only in scriptures
i cant decipher her wishes

she saw th blood on the carpet 
eyes grow so bright in this darkness
they point like a laser to my heart
halfway through untill im unarmed

a burning sensation in my lungs
i breathe all of this poison at once 
the words that follow break down her walls
were not so different at all

beyond / we arent so dif at all (neverforever)

mixed by me
mastered by Ally Holloway
produced by metlast
artwork by my gf <3

constantly looking towards the sky
and wondering why i’m even alive
i can never begin to fathom
why i was even put here on this earth
was it just suffer?
beyond what i could imagine?..
i’ll let gravity, grab me by the feet
to pull me 6ft deep

(oh underneath 
their decaying bodies still haunt me)

dragging me under the ground
slowly suffocating so i can’t make a sound
it seems i’ve found a new home
with the ghost around im less alone
hoping i could find a better way
to rid the world of my lunacy
looking for any opportunity
to fade away and ameliorate this world…

of me
so cold
and empty

so i solidified the thoughts inside my head
the thoughts that were telling me i’m better off dead
no matter what you said to me
6ft deep is where i fended up being
so as the light from the tunnel grew darker and darker 
my mind grew further and further away
you should’ve stayed stayed with me 
but you left my body alone to decay

(you left me alone
traversing the unknown)

ameliorate this world (metlast)

SoundCloud struck the original and denied my claim even though i own a lease. so here's the song unmonetized. sorry for the delay.
"lifefuckinhatesme" track 1.
prod. metlast and 5head

lyrics:
i been tryin my whole life
to figure sumn out
but nothin ever goes right
and i thought i was gonna be okay
when you came into my life
but now you're gone
and im pretty sure its my fault
guess you couldnt handle me after all?
and i swear to god this is the last time
cuz all this bullshit weighing down on my mind

its weighing down and its been so fucking long
since i felt okay
im running out of things to say
feelin so fucked up every day

and it never seems like i can ever figure out
wtf is going on inside my mind
but im trying, believe me im trying
but i swear to god it seems like
they're always lyin
so idk why i keep on tryin
i just wanna let it go
and ion really know
why nowhere feels like home

i just wanna go, but nowhere feels like home
i been feelin so fucked up
feelin so alone
i just wish that there was somewhere that i could fuckin go
guess ill just settle for another night stoned...

Spotify

myfault. [+metlast & 5head]

what you'd do

curated by @screwyounick
prod @nate2timezz
mix & mastr @fleshgolem

lyrics 

u fill me up wit tuffluv
then back down to earth 
all of ur games, ive had enough

nate too icy, froze the waves
don’t u worry i brought th skates
i’m on stuff i’m in a state
tough fr u i’m in her state 

uh uh uh 
i cannot wait
looking so far into the stars
up in th foreign grabin her waist
its up to u
up to u
up to u
know u feel the same
dont come running back 
and she on the run but i still wan a taste

look in th distance we on a mission jus me and you
burning so bright, don’t even try, it won’t defuse 
dont deny th friction we felt in june 
but i get th picture, i’m in the clouds
i get the view

im gnna say, im gnna say this once
gimme sumn back b4 th feelings gone
cards stack, then its racks jus for fun
ima go back to back to back to back on after this one 

check th stats, uh im doin great
nick sent it late but that’s ok
ill hit that bih and send it back in a day 
ya feeling lost, got no sauce
i know my fate
u comin last 
foot on the gas im winning the race 

yuh yuh yuh yuh
without ur hate ima be best off
its getting quite late, i needa rest up
in my head, im what’s sought im what’s next up
don need fake lov to block the sun

u been playing too long
i cant stay here and burn in the sun
baby 
maybe
jus giv me a call 
we can talk it out with rolled paper and alcohol

idontlikeyou

auby

Recent comments

aseol_

mugizora

s̶m̶e̶t̶i̶nota̶l̶i̶v̶e̶

Related tracks