autie

stop the play

AutumnHeartSoftlyDropsDead

Keeping Me High

gym and home

Biteki AMV: https://youtu.be/aMOX-qUEWMw
prod. farber
this 1 been in the works for a while 🖤
i hope some of you find relation & or clarity.
ft. @user-411557229

[autumn]
so seems you took away my breath
feels a little off where do i begin 
like oh~
why’d i get so bent 
starting to believe that i’m a bit obsessed
like oh~

cause i’ve always really wanted space
now i just wanna see your face
(see your face)

girl i want this bad
i told you that
i’m not just sad
my world’s been plaid

hello?
praying you’d pick up the phone 
how’d it go?
being on your god damn own

so seems you took away my breath
feels a little off where do i begin 
like oh~
why’d i get so bent 
starting to believe that i’m a bit obsessed
like oh~

[not home.]
they wanna be me
she gonna leave me
for somebody new
off of the shrooms
cold in my room 
lost in the ceiling
look at the moon

[autumn & not home.] 
(2x)
look at my face when you’re talking
(when you’re talking)
i get bored so i smoke now i’m coughing
(bitch i’m coughing)
all the friends at the house 
now i’m yawning
(what the fuck bitch)
they be chasing all the
shit up in my pockets

obsessed w/ not home. [prod. farber]

prod. @afterlife66
cover art drawn by @wolfff_art <3

i get that it's all my fault
i should've never called..

my bones are melting, again
(again)
so guilty; i'm better than that
(better than that)

thread caught in us all
you're not in control
& i'm just a soul
for the manufacturing of an end that was meant
another casualty but without the consent

and all my life, been feeling scorn
i've tried to hide,
but these feelings tore up my insides
and left nothing more
than pitiful lies; tangled wires and cords

now why did i think that was okay?
remembered that moment was so vague

turning, learning; does it matter?
undeserving; losing stature, oh
swear i'm hurting, breath is flatter
"just desert me, leave me shattered"

guilt every night, and i can't move 
on when she's right by
& she fucking hates me, 
but it's alright, 
in some way, there's no way...
THIS ISN'T RIGHT

my bones are melting, again
(again)
so guilty; i'm better than that
(better than that)
better than that
(better than that)

i don't wanna make it out alive
it's a part of life, i'm sorry that i lied
there isn't excuses for the way i treated this
i'm just a vessel losing grip

(4x)
grip, grip, grip
losing

i'm craving my last breath
when i change it'll be for the best
but nobody'll fucking believe me anymore
for everything i said and did
like are you fucking deaf???
i feel your resent...

vessel [prod. afterlife]

https://open.spotify.com/track/6CbxhNDiS43RkM728SpInl?si=e92a5e39fcfc4020
prod. @dercept + gateway & danielsara
cover art done by kittikyu <3

this ain't a ballad; fucking unbalanced
give me a challenge, i'm in the smog
tossed like a salad; thought i had talent, guess i was wrong 
putting the p in pain, everything ain't what i want 
you put that shit away, it's new a day, in a NEW DAWN

leeches! clogging every vein from the start
secrets!! i wanted to keep in my heart 
bleeding! blood is looking blacker than some tar 
don't communicate, because your brain's already charred

no chance, i ain't ever doing any shit like that again
i don't have an ego, but she fucking with my head
racking up the people that'll probably want me dead
said i'm fucking lethal, tell me what did you expect?

two-faced; show faith
walkin' round the town in my mind with a mace
i'm a fucking loser, so i never show my face 
wish i never knew her; couldn't believe what i'd say
so i rest admist the panic, going manic, tryna change
if ur talkin' shit then can-it, all your bullshit; it can wait
i got way too damn satanic, pull me closer to the flames
you should quit this life and hand it over, imma take your place

(i'm looking through the fog)
(i've been confused for so long)
(the things that i've undergone)
(are proof that i don't belong)

leeches! clogging every vein from the start
secrets!! i wanted to keep in my heart 
bleeding! blood is looking blacker than some tar 
don't communicate, because your brain's already charred

no chance, i ain't ever doing any shit like that again
i don't have an ego but she fucking with my head
racking up the people that'll probably want me dead
said i'm fucking lethal, tell me what did you expect?

leeches! [prod. dercept x gateway x danielsara]

prod hiraeth
just trying things, sorry if not best

is this as bad as before?
laid out on the floor
how can you claim you wanna know
with all my messages ignored

i don’t think you really understand
i told you alr we wont last
told me where i cut it’s getting bad
but i don’t care,
you wish i never had

fucked up got my head in my hands
i won’t love, you get it all on-demand
no thoughts, running dry like the sand
don’t leave ur all i have

step away from the door i won’t let you in
i don’t wanna tell you what is happening
leave me outside in the cold again
nothing to say
we’re at the start of the end

leave me alone
i don’t wanna try but ur arguing
i have anxiety
they’re watching me
I’m tryna quit
you don’t really know me
feel like im nothing but misery
I’m tryna find a way to block out what you did to me
you can call me useless
least i had a fucking ounce of trust
let go of everyone
I’m struggling to give you up
you don’t really want me
i had everything and fucked it up
is this a sign that i should stop pretending how to love

step away from the door i won’t let you in
i don’t wanna tell you what is happening
leave me outside in the cold again
nothing to say
we’re at the start of the end

start of the end

all these highs be weary 
they take my friends and bury 
but dont be scared theres much more room inside this cemetery
all these stories cautionary
like take your life compare me 
take the parts you dont like then 
in your life be different than me 
nothing could have prepared me 
none
but i knew the whole time what would happen 
it just hits different when youre really in it heavy 
my skin is slipping off me
just leave me where you find me  
im in the woods trainspotting through the poison ivy 
i left that all behind me
still feel it close beside me 
i dont know what to do with myself when i sit still and silent
i find myself in situations i hope dont get violent 
i trip myself up thinking someones intentions are sideways
ive just been done so badly
you dont know the slightest
all these things that i done seen i keep em in my eyelids 
all this time that ive spent looking youd think that id find it 	  
and i try the millionth i dont know why 
repeat

tombstone carousel (prod. sorrow bringer)

poster boy

i could tell you like everything ive been through
cut down my arm to tissue
wont eat i dont deserve it
cant sleep my blood runs surface

wont leave, you dont deserve this
why cant my love be worth it
im worthless 
ur perfect

i could tell you like everything ive been through
cut down my arm to tissue
wont eat i dont deserve it
cant sleep my blood runs surface

wont leave, you dont deserve this
why cant my love be worth it
im worthless 
ur perfect

how could i be worse then i was before
i keep writting songs
and you all want more
every word i say is just getting ignored
but youre wanting more
but youre wanting more

i dont know how i can keep going like this
ive got nothing left ive got nothing to give
can anyone hear me 
are you listening 
does no one relate to the words that i sing

i feel like no ones even trying to help me
not helping

cut my hair dow
worked on myself
why do i still feel like no one

savour my loss
hope youre drowning 
you wont let me out of this hell

cut my arms down to the flesh
ive been alone for
so many years

all these people
want my best
but i cant seem to deliver it

drag me to the top of the bridge
tell me to jump
i wont even hesitate, overthink 
i want it to stop
cause baby youre all that i have
all that ive got
and im dealing with it so bad
im fucking it up
im not unique 
im so replaceable 
and for the last few weeks 
ive been unbearable
i better sort my shit
before you break it off
and though i try so bad
im never safe at all

i could tell you like everything ive been through
cut down my arm to tissue
wont eat i dont deserve it
cant sleep my blood runs surface

wont leave, you dont deserve this
why cant my love be worth it
im worthless 
ur perfect

perfect

lyrics -
hard to think there's no way, incredible
you had him take my place
then one of you
tried to drag my name so i wanna know
what part u had to play cos' i'm sick of u

and it's funny cos' i think you've gone and lost it
got your hand on the button saying 'watch this'
and my hand's under the table as i hear you
staring as i came into the room but i don't see you

why you gotta act like that?
waste my serotonin like that
baby fix ur attitude
why you gotta do me like that?
why you gotta act like that?
waste my serotonin like that
baby fix ur attitude
why you gotta do me like that?

S.O.S i caved
but i'm still alive barely
tried to beat the struggle but got lost along the way
went too far alone, no rest 
and took it on myself to prove the dark would coat the day
hard to show love most days
no compassion from my friends
but i love that i pulled through
never know for certain
but i'm glad that i'll be home soon

scared to death of life i'll
battle through the pain and kick it off so
don't you ever worry i'm okay, love
cos' i don't really care no not at all though
stick a sword straight through me, watch me bleed out
i won't say a word i'll make you feel that
this moment that we're in will never end
a new life for us will grow
begin

freeze baby, put your hands to your head
'this is love?' she said
i don't get this or the conversation
i ain't good with stress
i can't clean the mess you left
great now it's complicated
just put the gun away, love
there's no time to fight me, we'll figure you out
take my hand and slowly we'll figure this out

i could steal my heart right back
give me fuckin credit cos' i'm loving all that
trauma that you're giving when you're thinking too fast
take another pill i'm sure it'll slow u down

~ fear

Produced by @leftquiet and me :) 
Out on Spotify :P

who are we 
to some degree
everything I touch Will break 

These things I think 
I shouldn't blink 
Death might be the only way 

Why do we start? 
everything's gone 
I cant help but feel like I might be insane 
And half these things 
I cry to sleep 
I'm always seeing the rain 

Why do we start? 
everything's gone 
I cant help but feel like I might be insane 
And half these things 
I cry to sleep 
I'm always seeing the rain 

Why do we start? 
everything's gone 
I cant help but feel like I might be insane 
And half these things 
I cry to sleep 
I'm always seeing the rain

CRAWL

https://soundcloud.com/autumndropsdead
https://soundcloud.com/nate2timezz

lyrics:
if i down that substance, maybe i can manage
fading in the night by dealing me some damage
it'd be nice if you'd check on me
by the morning sun, i forget these things
bit off more than i can chew
like i'm addicted to losing
you can't handle the truth
so you treat me like a nuisance
but i keep moving
keep moving
keep moving
i keep moving

by expression alone i can tell you ain't down
maybe i would cop a feel if you would crop me out
feel like that i've been a b*tch  and a c*nt to my close friends
but they tell me otherwise, that must be a sign of progress
but i never leave the house
i blame it on my traumas
the insomnia shrinks any chance to withdraw them
i don't feel love anyways
it's like i should've known in the first place
and really wouldn't mind if we talked more often
with my chances gone, i'm left to live with nonsense
but don't leave bl**d bad
at least bring it to a broil
crush your regrets like a can made of foil
do the stars shine through the darkest nights at their own will?
my lights ain't bright for those who don't feel real
my thoughts aligned, don't lie
i can see through your blinds
don't talk to me nice

but i just
want you to hear me out
i'm throwing in the towel
splinters in my cells
got em swelling well
'till i'm raising hell
so now, have i got your attention?
it's only so long 'till i cave in
i've always had pure intentions
and if you don't believe me
i guess that's the way that the world's gonna treat me

if i ain't counting sheep, then i'm part of the herd
if the wolf's so bad, why his bites ain't hurt?
maybe it sees like me
because i breathe to bleed
but maybe that's just me and my extremities
i got a rushed pulse, but my breath's still shallow
i ain't decompress 'cause i'm housing these shadows
they ain't wanna battle
i hear their rattles
i'll help you my friends, let me become your paddle
but wait, i'm quite fragile, you'll break me in half
though on second thought, that might not be half bad
'cause my dreams try to kill me, just to heal me
infatuation ain't ever the real thing
that sh*t don't reflect who you are
tucked in this corpse i feel comfortably harmed
don't help me out
i'm already numb

if i down that substance, maybe i can manage
fading in the night by dealing me some damage
it'd be nice if you'd check on me
by the morning sun, i forget these things
bit off more than i can chew
like i'm addicted to losing
you can't handle the truth
so you treat me like a nuisance
but i keep moving
keep moving
keep moving
i keep moving

(covered in the sounds)
(drowning out) (2x)
i wouldn't wanna go back
'cause i know all that i lack
(is that so wrong..)

autumndropsdead - broil (nate2timez)

https://soundcloud.com/autumndropsdead
https://soundcloud.com/nate2timezz

lyrics:
impractical use of your head
you kept up your walls, blocking out all your friends
eta; some hours
i'll probably be sober
to realize i still hate myself and grown colder
distain
(exhausted and jaded)
your headspace
(show no relation)
stained gray and faceless

refraining from the actions
that'll probably f*ck me further
i miss not pertaining all this weight
and worrying bout the future
but don't get me wrong,
i love all my friends
i hardly reach out, but they know how it is
just a burnt out soul in a tie-dyed kid
when the colors all fade, then the bl**d dries thin
got chilled-out wind in my lungs
winter has pa**ed, but i can't see the sun
waving away to the ones that i love
that difficulty ain't apparent at all
so inconsiderate, i need a light
so f*cking tired of wasting my time
put their heart inside of mine
(inside of mine)
(i'm out of time)
(f*ck)
(out of time..)
(tiedyed.)

autumndropsdead - tiedyed (nate2timez)

https://soundcloud.com/autumndropsdead
https://soundcloud.com/nate2timezz

lyrics:
(latency's far)
(i'm picking at scars, again..)

'cause i've been losing strength in my arms
and the warmth in my heart
pick it up, toss it out
feelings shank, feel it sharp

(i've been losing strength in my arms again)

if they complain i'm the worst, then i'll let it hurt
'cause i'm apathetic at best
i'll let it get on my nerves, like i live in reverse
while you b*tch in' and nag, i destress
chardonne in my chest
i'd check my phone but that ego's myself
'till i'm pressed
fluid cardiac arrest
outta my dome, 'till i'm ghost
matter of fact i'm repressed

when i step outside i just fall through the flooring
and you step aside when i'm entering pouring my state of array
every sec of the day, so i turn to the blade but if it goes in deeper
then i may as well make a date with the reaper
and lower concern for myself as a seeker
cause i wasn't fit to bestow what they wanted
trickling stones like an amateur novice

with no sense of balance nor care where they landed
if you would've just realized why this happens
then i wouldn't cry or feel so f*cking captive
and hurt, and alone as i lie on my mattress
and shout to the ma**es, 'bout all of my feelings
fixated on rippin' this notion of healing
apart in the dark, it ain't smart, but they'll hear me
at least to the point where the hurt is appealing

"if you care, why don't you show it?"
"is it because you're a poet?"
b*tch , i'm eternally broken
quit treating me like a hoax
'cause they all disappear when i'm at my lowest
i've been holding up this lantern to glow on it's own
and i feel like spyro, flames in a spiral
back like it's spinal, i've been on my own sh*t
but every little thought that tortures me
are the only ones that help when i lack empathy
confine the lies and shallow tears
oh you're ignorance is something i don't wanna hear

a pa**erby lulling lowered eyes
hope you feel alright for the new year
'cause i stand at the front lines,
it's hypocritical and nuclear
decapitated from my patience
had to wait and let it grow
morals shrink the moment we quit nurturing our weary bones

autumndropsdead - spyro (nate2timez x pekarot x autumndropsdead)

all rights go to glaive, just a repost for fun

it say my last name on the crest baby - glaive

all instrumental rights belong to @idealismus
(completely non-profit)


legs shaking
sitting down's not enough, still vacant
just erase me
head down when i walk, they gazing
why talk when you know not a word getting through now
i don't wanna
but still gotta
be not a brain rotter

souls may tie
turn cries to weeps
don't try to be so kind to me
be my relief, so kill me now

make it my fault
just enough for the guilt to be wiped off
don't really care what they lied for

three down, feeling tipsed, no staging
falling used to feel amazing
my voice stay shaking
i'm sorry for the drinking

by the morning i mourn some more
throat burnt, puke all on the floor
i swore i used to be more than this
borderless, now i'm losing time
no love could be enough
but you said, "don't close in
you were meant for me, stay open."
thought clouds clear up real nice
but it's only for the night (3x)

respite [prod. idealism]

self prod
guitar by hiraeth
<3


in ur own ways
tell me where u stand
no. its not 2 faced
dont understand
is all that you take
left the way u found it? 
now this i cant shake
not this, i doubt it

Maybe on a different day
You’d have been nice to me
Maybe in some different ways
U formed apologies
If the weather was a different type 
Would u still be with me?
Cloudy, with seafret in sight 
Does that mean anything?
its the way that you are
i thought you loved that i hated myself, not to mention
my critiques are poor
theres nothing left in this hollow, ashen and hes tarnished
to
no ones support
i probably could do more
baby watch me fumble, every chance i get in love
im
cutting down my line
is that what you planned for my life ?
its clearly out of spite, youve done it 3 or 4 more times

shake w/ hiraeth

kurtains - violent (feat. glaive & ericdoa) [full song]

clam peak

prod. by me https://soundcloud.com/luv_armor
featuring https://soundcloud.com/hoeplessboy

[nvr nvmbr]
my wrist like a freezer
i’m drinkin’ tequila 
this ain’t Aquafina

i’ll bleed, i’m anemic
she said that she needs it
i’m watchin’ her fiendin’, ohhh

i flow like i’m chosen
the city, it’s frozen
she said that i’m goated, ohhh

she’s givin’ me throat
then i’m sendin’ her home
can’t let her get me out my zone

i’m fillin’ my chalice with blood
‘cause i don’t give a fuck
EQ out the mud
now she suckin’ my nuts

i’m with Zane in the truck
you know that we’re drunk
your bitch in the cut
& she’s tryna get fucked

i’ll blow out my brain tonight
i think that i’m goin’ insane tonight
she’s grabbin’ on both of my chains tonight
i thought i never could change, i might

sick to my stomach
fall; feel it plummet
i’m reachin’ towards something
but receivin’ nothing

save time by dyin’ 
‘cause i’m dead inside
you’ll be alright
when i leave you behind

i swear that i’m tryin’ 
& i need you tonight
just come & say hi
can’t get you off my mind..

you know i’ma demon
i’m tweakin’ & geekin’
she’s eatin’ my semen

i ain’t got a reason
you know that i’m leavin’
‘cause you left me bleedin’, ohh

i told you i need it
you changed like a season
i’m way off the deep end

i’m scarin’ my friends & my family
losin’ my sanity
i know that i’ll die in the snow

my wrist like a freezer 
i’m drinkin’ tequila
this ain’t Aquafina

i’ll bleed, i’m anemic
she said that she needs it
i’m watchin’ her fiendin’, ohhh

she’s actin’ so trife 
so i’m grabbin’ my knife
then i’m takin’ that bitch for a ride

[hoepless]
takin’ that bitch for a ride
smokin’ all night but i’m never alright
forgot about her but you stay on my mind
never on his but your always on mine

i’m at home, i’m poppin’ these benzos 
crash this whip it’s a rental 
need her heart but i took her life
that ain’t what i meant tho

you wanna say that you miss me
i wanna say that i miss you
you’re alright when i took your heart
i ain’t know it was ice cold

right time but the wrong hoe
i don’t know what I’m gon’ do
you don’t know that I’m upset
you don’t even know I let you go

you don’t know what I meant
you don’t know how I go
you don’t know how I am
you don’t know how I roll

you don’t know how I am
you don’t know how I go
you don’t know how I am
you don’t know how I go..

tequila

iTunes

i have 76+ hours on the oblivion remake already... talos save me

Praying To The Nines (prod. Ushanka Boy)

lyrics ⬇️

i talk a lot about you i dont think you think of me
i hate the ridicule i feel like this is hide and seek
switch perspectives for a second maybe you would see
its not really all that perfect in this deep blue sea
i checked my vitals and my heart is beating beautifully 
nevermind the thoughts i had of what it coudlnt be
cuz i dont think too much or at all when i fall asleep
and im so sorry when you call i know you gon hear the beep
and its my fault that i did everything i did to you

but if you didnt jump conclusions i think wed be cool
split my body armor when you uncovered the truth
i drank that that poison every night
didn’t have nun to lose
not much else to do
like now that i can’t fall asleep
ur the only thing in my thoughts I miss all the dreams
it was nice that I escaped my sick reality
but now i gotta go right back to find my inner peace 

i talk a lot about you i dont think you think of me

i checked my vitals and my heart is beating beautifully 

and im so sorry when you call i know you gon hear the beep
and its my fault that i did everything i did to you

but if you didnt jump conclusions i think wed be cool
split my body armor when you uncovered the truth
i drank that that poison every night
didn’t have nun to lose
not much else to do
like now that i can’t fall asleep

now that I can’t fall asleep (secre)

petrified at the sight of what is nigh,
though, it might be nice to rectify the white of lies
so, find him tied, unrecognizably contrived
be it like of day or night, they'll always deem to be insightful

the dog is bled of it's effort spent
yet the culprit fed it's influence
through a wooden fence it would lean against
tearing at it's skin, but it's only his

scrap these words i hold in place 
if thou uncertain, bestow thee grace
but how's he hurting, i don't see pain?
it's only made certain once one's decayed

flawless, though it seemed to you i wasn't honest
a heart shift, i could tell that you must've been starving
cautious, replicate the struggle and i'll fall in
august kept him held within it's empty margins

drained, split amid reality and that of what is made
the cowardice of hounding prove susceptible to flame
regardless of the sender, the recipient's enraged 
courtesy of riddance claims regression is to blame

though he's zoned, although unknown, he won't corrode, 
beknown of crows and open roads, the omen flows, but will it show or come to slow?
we'll never know (8x)

the dog is bled of it's effort spent
yet the culprit fed it's influence
through a wooden fence it would lean against
tearing at it's skin, but it's only his

terrestrial acrimony (sorrow bringer x luffysome)

a forest reprieve from the withering eve of a sun
(like, can i go? are we done here?)
he walks on his teeth and he talks through depictions of scars
(they say you never know what you don't hear)
that fostered relief at the cost of neglection of star
(longevity's enclosed until the soul gears)
he's cosmically sore but apprentice of tethering hearts
(my body's been remote, but i'm all ears)

crush two and i'm in it, he's waking bruised and deflated,
i got this habit of spitting, but all this acid come with it
he's turnt to ash every minute, a song and dance resurrection
you rabbits ripping up carrots, i'm canis lupis incarnate
got sonic booms when i'm barking, converting rooves into starships
this ain't your average invention, it's more than natural selection

thought she was safe up in his head
so he'd removed the padding covering his weakened flesh
but abrupt departure cut the flora thriving on his skin
now cattle's grazing on the flowers bursting through his chest

the green evades from being subject to an open wind
in apprehension of it's fate awaiting overhead
so nature waits in subtle breaks between the pavement
for many moons are to elude at compensation, but still, he's anxious

uncertainty enveloped through subtly of enthrall
but i regulate that haze through a blizzard of getting gone
with remedies for those emmitting vacancy of want
disheartened, hurt, and starving, yet crucial to it all
cast within a marshland, enhardened, enswamped
in emergance of that influence, the arteries are clogged
but the potency that comes with it is rightful in it's wrongs
as doubt within neglect to beauty's sewn within the flaws

so what's the word? you know i'm down for it
as mother earth determines counterfeit
the now dispersed yearns inhabitance
of bird and fern, the worm is blurred

might be universe impairing peers with lightning
a white screen thrown about, a crown ensures the stifling
so often i'm haunted and falter from nonsense,
the world's still revolving, he's not what she wanted
if you were just honest, it'd lessen the starving
this trail led of crumb that you thumb's disembarking
he's all but undone, but is stunned from the heartless
injected was rust, muck, and lust in her harvest

always unheard, speaking my word, they just wanna flirt
better or worse, embracing the curse 'till covered in dirt
wrapping in silk, given the earth, i know it'll hurt
off of the pills, downing that cardi, merlot, for the heal, yea

a forest reprieve from the withering eve of a sun
(like, can i go? are we done here?)
he walks on his teeth and he talks through depictions of scars
(they say you never know what you don't hear)
that fostered relief at the cost of neglection of star
(longevity's enclosed until the soul gears)
he's cosmically sore but apprentice of tethering hearts
my body's been remote, but i'm all ears

bird and fern (dash)

AFTERLIFE (FT. STAGGY) [PROD. CMAK]

Sudden Moves *prod. ilynedia*

produced by heylog

lyrics:
i'm a mess
i barely know me
and my head
is so unholy
but i'm good
somethin pulled me
i don't know
she kiss me slowly

i gotchu figured out
you did me wrong and u wonder why i'm distant now
i stepped away cus i got sick of the room being loud
staring at a screen for hours designing sounds
and bringing in a crowd
how did i make it work
and i never thought i'd be saying "i did it first"
projects so big to where i couldn't even finish dirt
got my speakers shaking like this shit could blow a surge
i think my neighbors heard

open my window
breathe in air
sun sets at 8
wrap my arms around her body
while she kiss my face

whatever they said, don't believe em
don't let your own friends deceive you
whatever she said, don't believe that
i'll always look out for your back
don't believe a single word that she said
everything you heard is far from the truth
don't believe a single thing that she says
she says
she

don't be nervous
take a deep breath in
who you know doing it like this
face first going straight in the pavement
might as well just embrace it
weekend night
everybody goin out
except for me
it's the gym or my house
saw you just got back from the bar
that's cool
i'm just locked in makin art
prolly knocked out
2am i'm working
making my sound
i'm my own person
couldn't really tell you where i'm at for genre
i do everything and i'll do what i wanna
put your phone down, i don't want a photo
put a song out and don't even promo
post it on the gram, lotta people on it
post it on my story and your sister saw it
gotcha 
knew you wouldn't like that
flip flop
watching this moron crash
can't blame no one except for yourself
that's gotta be a record for switching that fast
how you gonna call me ugly
but stick around still obsessive w me
like i ain't dumb enough to put you under my sleeve
knock out, ya shoulda thought before u said anything

spotify

obsessed

photo by 50Landing

fuckboy tryna play my homie
but 2020 i’ma take time on me
out the window where my mainline goes
this is sacrilegious how i’m gon fade off IG

heartache comes in many forms
one day opens any door but
i’ve never seen this distant
what success? my eyes are on a screen
if you’re hurting call my line and if you’re doing good, it’s not like i don’t care
i wanna see the world
this shit ain’t the same if i can’t breath your air

fuckboy tryna play my homie
but 2020 i’ma take time on me
out the window where my mainline goes
this is sacrilegious how i’m gon fade off IG
hope you find someone who can be invested
i’m not over you that’s not my objective
so obsessed with my mistakes i gotta accept them
so i’m not gonna listen to him

he always wants a little more
lost in his fake love and subliminals
won’t stay true if it’s difficult 
a lie’s a lie won’t hide the real to waste your time
that’s just being honest
shouldn’t fall in love and i shouldn’t go to college
gotta fight off all the pain he made in august

i’m not who you think i am

fuckboy tryna play my homie
but 2020 i’ma take time on me
out the window where my mainline goes
this is sacrilegious how i’m gon fade off IG
i won’t put no filler or no dud in my setlist
you should up your standards for what i can be impressed with
out your metric
i’m alive and i need help
hit concrete bottom you could say i learned my lesson

fuckboy tryna play my homie
but 2020 i’ma take time on me
out the window where my mainline goes
this is sacrilegious how i’m gon fade off IG

fuckboy

guitar sampled from ichika nito
everything else was produced/mixed/mastered by heylog

lyrics:
often this summer we fight and start over
u were the best but this bye aint forever
ill make space for your tears on my shoulders
cause ill still be here when ur ready to come home

i want u to stay for a while
i cant go to bed havent slept in a while
took u back home from the windmills
cant see us with anyone else
weve tried but its so hard
im just another kid reaching for your arms
like i said, "cant we try again"
i promise ill make it up i dont want this to end

often this summer we fight and start over
u were the best but this bye aint forever
ill make space for your tears on my shoulders
cause ill still be here when ur ready to come home

come home

this track was produced by @nevrfall

lyrics:
i dont think this is my time
place my feet i feel alright
missing all your face again
15 pounds help sleep at night

life ur body, dont feel ashamed
i still feel u miles away
i still feel lonely when im with you
all these people around and i miss you
i dont think this feelings right
caught your stare as we locking eyes
i dont know who these people are
bandages gotta hide my scars

𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬 𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶?
𝘰𝘩. 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸...
𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨

I BARELY KNOW WHO THESE PEOPLE ARE
I DONT EVEN KNOW WHO THESE WOMEN ARE
I BARELY KNOW WHO THIS BITCH IS
BABY JUST HOLD ME ITS GETTING DARK
WHERE I AM 2 HOURS DIFFERENCE
NOW WERE APART EVERYTHING IS DIFFERENT
NOW WERE AFAR EVERYTHING FEELS DISTANT
IN 4 YEARS
will we still be kissing?

i dont think this is my time
place my feet i feel alright
missing all your face again
15 pounds help sleep at night

miles away (p. nevrfall)

this song was produced/mixed/mastered by heylog

lyrics:
im popping all my cells
where are u now
tell me this is real
cause i love to doubt
i just wanna lay on here
farther from the place ur near
i heard your whisper in my ear
3 words that ive always feared

ur easy to fall in love
i honestly cant get enough
get enough
but hey
youve pulled me away
from the bullshit and pain
i hope that i could do the same
i never been on this page
but tell
tell me this is true
i cant stand being lied to
but you
you wont admit
all the things you did

someone put me in my place
im tired of my mistakes
are u sure wanna love me
baby its too late
i just wanna lay with u
fall back in my dirty shoes
no one even has a clue
i like u cause u think im cool

ur skin and bones feelin mine
thrift shirt reflect off the light
clear frames with big pretty eyes
pretty eyes
but wait
will i see u today?
i already miss ur face
can u call me by my name
i cant go another day
but i
i was in need for your love
i guess i asked for way too much
but you
you wont do shit
you stole what i gave

shelter

the beat was produced by @lindenpearce @nevrfall

lyrics:
𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘸𝘴 𝘶𝘳 𝘥𝘢𝘺, 𝘪 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨
𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘶 𝘢𝘳𝘦, 𝘪 𝘥𝘰𝘯𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘴 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨
𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘯, 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘪 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘥𝘰 𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘶
𝘥𝘰 𝘶 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘯? 𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘪 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘣𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘶

light blonde hair hangs over your eyes
i dont wanna waste all ur time
am i wrong, i think im right
on the search for duds just to light it one more time

eyeliner covering your eyes
i get nervous wasting your time
am i wrong or am i right
tell her to leave so u can stay for the whole night
on the balcony, im afraid of heights
standing next to u, made my fear shy
is it just me or does this feel right
out here in the cold,
could be here for the whole night

im waitin for you
im bad at the first move
im breaking for you
im sad now, its not new
not afraid of death bitch im burning in both eyes
when she look at me i lose track of mind
if i give u my heart, will u hold it tight?
and if u gimme yours, i promise ill treat it right
i get nervous on what i could say to u
i dont want u to leave so damn soon
i would spare my time just for u
and if this could be it, id take a bullet for u

im sorry u had to go, ill see u in a week or so
i put u in my phone but im nervous to hit u up
now that youre here, im shy gotta cover up
im a nervous wreck, but thats because when ur
eyeliner covering your eyes
i get nervous wasting your time
am i wrong or am i right
tell her to leave so u can stay for the whole night
on the balcony, im afraid of heights
standing next to u, made my fear shy
is it just me or does this feel right
out here in the cold,
could be here for the whole night

im wastin your time
im sorry, ill shut my mind

𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘺
𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵?
𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘰 𝘰𝘯 𝘢𝘯 𝘢𝘥𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦

nervous (p. linden & nevrfall)

featuring @sewerperson
produced by heylog

lyrics:
(heylog)
everythings a joke all i hear is people lie
evil is right down the street, so i lock the doors inside
smoking they got black lungs but mine are getting ripe
just a buncha teens getting buzzed up while theyre high
i was just cold but now im getting hot
sweating down my back and i keep playing with my palms
im feeding off the air and i nibble at some crumbs
havent eaten all day i know thatd upset my mom

i was just freezing but now im sweating bad
could u spare ur body heat im running out real fast
i tried to phone death, but they would never answer
u know girl its bad, when ur boyfriend hid the cuts from her
i dont know how ur doin this
logan ur insane
crows talk
but i ignore the fact my old girl has changed
skinny kid eatin chicken
and nothing but eggs
now im finna burn it all off on the treadmill and shame

(sewerperson)
born in the snow
cant be hurt my soul has changed
it isnt fair
i got a body but i share the brain
i want the truth
could u give it to me
dont sugar coat it
i got the pockets on me stinky cause they filled with potent
uh, she just wanted my ok but that shit is horrible
walking inside this hostel what im doing dishonorable
i change out my human into something deplorable
i cannot breathe this air they gotchu huffing so casual
ah, take me in
i cannot do this by myself
i could be back tomorrow i just need a little help
im in a trance
off these pills
i might piss myself
im too skinny for these pants im slippin out my belt
eyes
i could feel her eyes on me
i gotta heart but i move like im a zombie
go
you should go now u dont want me
im a burden
without me u could be happy

(heylog)
everythings a joke all i hear is people lie
evil lives right down the street, so i lock the doors inside
smoking they got black lungs but mine are getting ripe
just a buncha teens getting buzzed up while theyre high
i was just cold but now im getting hot
sweating down my back and i keep playing with my palms
im feeding off the air and i nibble at some crumbs
havent eaten all day i know thatd upset my mom

playing with my hands and i keep tryna pop my knuckles
i did every finger i dont know why i keep tryna crack em
dont give me that look
i told her u should really stop that
eyes are bouncing back and forth and all i feel is anxious
i told u i get anxious when im in conversations
but i just nod and laugh im sorry i wasnt even listening
i can hear the chirp as the room is getting silent
now im getting awkward i think u should really try it