i made it through today, just to be brought back into tomorrow.

cover art done by me & @_bluberri 
entire project's vocals mixed/mastered by me
prods:
acey
@nate2timezz
@not-a-fucking-hero
@emptychest
thank you above and beyond to everyone involved in the making of this project.
this project holds extreme amounts of sentimental value to me, and i hope that whoever may be  listening to it, is able to find and capture your own version of whatever you may be going through, and use this to get you through it. 
none of this would be possible without the support from every single one of you for listening. it was just a singular year ago that i had hardly any of a following, let alone knew anyone that would lend me a hand to get to where i am now; i'm sincerely so grateful to how many amazing people i've met, and bonds i've made throughout my time creating. so i truly, truly, thank you. 
- autumn

tomorrow through today

start loving yourself, to quit loving yourself
i was sleeping on the edge of my bed till i fell
awaken to the morning sweat 
of being trapped in this hell
could i forgive like all i did to puncture holes in my health?

it's not about you
but i sorta wish it was
cause i hope you're doing well
i know we don't talk much 
but this is not the way i deserve to be treated
i'd do anything to have a sixth sense or a reason

cause i am constantly bleeding
but no one can see it
i'm sure they know a lot about it
and are sick of the sequence
since i have turned to a demon
do not come near me
you know i mean no harm
but i don't wanna feel guilty

cause i'm selfish as fuck
i hate what i make
yet i'll still put it out 
in hopes that it'll do great
it's way too hard to portray how i feel
when i'm sober as fuck, and not off on the pills

my brain is stupid
i find it useless
i only leave my room when it has to do with music
and you can call me pudent
that's only half what the truth is
sick of the tones on my phone
tryna convince me to use it
i know this won't make it easy
but you should know what i'm thinking
it helps me comprehend what's real
and not just imagination
(was it imagination?..)
WAS IT IMAGINATION

thank you ally, bow, everyone in rue
when i'm down on my luck
i know that ya'll will come through
but that's like all of the time
so how's my conscience alive?
(there's just been way too many times)
(that i've had to realign)

i always wonder
"am i still me?"
(do you feel me)
if i'm putting out a track
would you listen?
intentionally fucking up my health
just to heal me..
IT'S JUST A CYCLE THAT I LIVE WITH

if my mind is a prison
i'll call the guard and i'll sick him
i push through every division
while all the while feeling livid
you know, i must be the sickness
i'm the root in itself
when i come back to this shit
i still won't know how i felt

cause the tone in my voice,
whether i'm singing or speaking;
it makes me wanna vomit
oh dear god, now i'm shaking
yet they say it's amazing
i wish that i could believe em
so that once i'm gone
this could be my requiem

(oh, don't you know?..)

fuck
asking questions of questions upon answer-
you win.
(or is it just me?)

there weren't enough words 
within this timeline we call home
that moment had passed
and now i've come to understand..
that there still isn't
and won't ever be.
maybe it's the way we've all come to lie down 
next to who we were the day before
(the day before)
but never come to terms with that poor soul.
every now and then..
i wonder what would have been...
where i would be..
if i hadn't spoken at all..
silence speaks for itself
(but do you?..)
and engraved into thin air..
i rest.
(i rot.)

artemis//requiem (hero x emptychest)

let us make a deal
this is not a fill-in
it's just how i feel
and right now i'm the villian
lately i wanna waste this time of mine
watching myself as i decline

but this is everything to me
watching the moon as it recedes
into conclusion
there's no truth
back where i started

where is this going?
(i'm frozen in motion)
they're constantly groaning
(bout shit not important)
their interpretations of me doing better
is one of the reasons for making my head hurt

one chance just to trust myself
to portray myself
to betray myself
it's a cold, damp world
is it sick i'm all about it?
you'll never learn to grow if you
just go around it

being numb ain't enough
the fact that i'm here and i'm living 
is still reminiscence 
of everything that i'm not
gone in the beat of a heart
if you blink you would miss
don't call me a kid, or treat me like it
the key won't fit, cause you never locked in
i'm fuckin rottin'
(but not forgotten)
how long has my heart been made out of cotton?

are we humanoid, or programmed to become one
some day?
i'm diving into oblivion
when i'm tugging upon on my vocal strings
but they will snap
god i know that
feed on the wills of the ones who have once passed
their efforts all gone to waste
now i'm in their place
i promised i'd make it back

(oh, i'll make it back)
(i'll make it back)
(4x)
i gave up all of that

but this is everything to me
watching the moon as it recedes
into conclusion
there's no truth
back where i started

nowhere; incomplete where i am now
these alleys reek throughout this town
fingers pressed against a spindle
it's been years; can't get them out

cotton (acey x nate2timez)

can't tell if the room's getting big
or if i'm just small
cause it only takes a second to fall
i crawl into bed when the sun starts to rise
i simply can't handle the smoke and the smog

my ribs are transparent
must be malnutrition
i feel so decrepit
i'm clearly indifferent
yet heaving persistence
with every decision
the outcome is rigid

mortality hates
that there is an end
to everything we wanna protect
blue screens emulate when i was a kid
nothing would phase me
save me once again

verbally gone
no, i don't wanna talk
deteriorate what i ate till i rot 
it takes up a lot; my energy's shot
take in the scent of a bird that was caught
it's leading me home
mentally not or physically there
i continue to trot
i'm walking on air; mentality rose
but then i wake up to find out i'm alone

shadows approach as they
rip me apart from my desk
all they had wanted was means to an end
but i sense dishonesty filling their heads
you don't know grief till it's conquered your chest

i'm still not impressed
seventeen and counting
oh please, i digress
from everyone around me
i'll tear me to shreds;
fed up with the scowling
i'm a rodent; the fox it is prowling

it was so different long ago
i can't get rid of this vertigo
but honest to god, who would've known
that being hurt feels like home...

𝘪 𝘸𝘰𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳, 𝘮𝘢𝘺𝘣𝘦, 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦'𝘴 𝘢 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵-..
𝘸𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘨𝘰 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘵𝘰 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦, 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸?..

endow me
endow me
and i'll be your hatred

endow me 
endow me
endow me in all your hatred

fox claws (acey x nate2timez)

Featuring @sewerperson
Produced by @horoshavibes & @jolst
Art by Katie Imbro

LYRICS
You made a promise to me
Never thought that you’d be the one to do me so wrong
It’s over now
I’m still learning how to move on
I guess that this is progression
I thought about you no more than a second time tonight
If I could rewind
I’d rescind it all
And just go back to you
Like I always do
Not caring for the fall
So if you care for me at all
Then cut me off

‘Cause I'm no good for you
You’re no good for me
We’re so out of sync
There’s no harmony
So if you care for me at all
Then cut me off
Caught between a rock and a hard place
Don’t wanna be alone
But I really can’t stay no
Do you wanna do this the hard way
When it comes to you
I can’t say no

(sewerperson)
I bet you're so damn happy I have gone away
Still I wish we could feel what we had yesterday
Baby at this checkpoint I still feel the same
Call me if you give up on him for this pain supplied
I know you still hate me I just hope you're safe tonight
I remember everything we let go in that candlelight 
Even if we’re not together you're still a friend of mine
Sorry I can’t control what feelings I been dealt in life
Break me and tear me up how you prefer
I pray when I die I’m not locked into lucifer
I know everything is fine right now but the future's still unsure
Teach me how to rid my self of all her hurt

Listen on Spotify!

Cut Me Off w/ sewerperson (Prod. Horosha & Jolst)

i can't tell lies
with this cup in my hand 
i can't love life
being who i am 
the place my body lies
is where u left me
the place my body lies
is where u killed me  

i can't tell lies
with this cup in my hand 
i can't love life
being who i am 
the place my body lies
is where u left me
the place my body lies
is where u killed me 

u hurt me again
fuck all of ur reasons
ur fucked in the head 
alone in the end 
fuck ur fucking treason
ur fucked in the head 
i gave you all my love
when i had nothing left
u never gave it back
so aknowledge u fucked my path 

look, the seasons changing
sunny days but it's still raining 
the look u gave me
i always knew that u fucking hate me 
stop, with all the blaming 
if u shut up i'll simply take it
ur attitude is still the same and
i know that u won't change it	


i can't tell lies
with this cup in my hand 
i can't love life
being who i am 
the place my body lies
is where u left me
the place my body lies
is where u killed me  

i can't tell lies
with this cup in my hand 
i can't love life
being who i am 
the place my body lies
is where u left me
the place my body lies
is where u killed me

i can't tell lies with this cup (vyle & rxhff)

prod. me

rest easy pops<33

dad, can you remember me?
cause i see those eyes are empty
i can't even eve talk with you cause u can't think
pls tell me when you look at me who do you see 
am i still your best buddy?
can u recognize somebody
i feel like ur soul has left
without ur body 
i hate to see u suffering

ever since u've been gone
shit's been different 
i hate myself
and can't take this distance 
been fucking my health 
i can feel the symptoms 
i need fucking help 
but can't face my feelings   

(i been hiding emotions
behind all the drinks
i been hiding emotions
behind all the weed 
people know about this
and still don't talk to me 
i might be fated to 
live the rest of my life all lonely)

dad, can you remember me?
cause i see those eyes are empty
i can't even eve talk with you cause u can't think
pls tell me when you look at me who do you see 
am i still your best buddy?
can u recognize somebody
i feel like ur soul has left
without ur body 
i hate to see u suffering

dad can u remember me?

shoutout to everyone in this song ily all :) <3
prod. sorrow bringer (goat)
mix: epitome, kanashi, autumn, casperrr
master: epitome

EPITOME:

if you look into my blackened soul 
you’ll see i’ve begun to decompose 
and with nothing but a rope around my neck
i’ll hang in the gallows dead
hold back the tears you’ll shed
leave all the words unsaid
i was hanging on by a thread
it’s better off instead 
that i’m 6 feet deep beneath the surface
i’ve said this once i know i’m worthless
i fall short of being perfect 
can you show me that i’m worth it
am i worth saving?
my body’s decaying
my flesh is rotting 
i feel like a zombie
i think the ends approaching
i feel it upon me
now i know i’m not worth saving 
i’m trying but it doesn’t seem to be enough
no one gives a fuck
i don’t even know what i’ve become
(can you tell me what i’ve become i give in too easy oh the end has just begun)

KANASHI:

Ion even know what I’ve become 
shits got me so fucked up…
And pls don’t wake me 
I’m busy taking a break from life
Ion wanna be a part of this anymore 
One foot in and the other out the door 
Cuz nothing lasts forever 
So just toss me like a wrapper on the floor…

AUTUMN:

i can't tell tonight apart from all them in the past
i can speak, i can breathe, but my brain is gonna gache
if you feed off of me, hope you like consuming trash
waking up inside this bed 
is something i'd rather not have
i'm tearing at my skin
could it get much worse than this
that's the only thing i'd ask
besides when you'll text me back

CASPERRR:

don't you text me back 
please i don't wanna relapse
feel this agonizing pressure on my chest
i can't breathe,i can't eat i can't get no rest  

fucked up, over what u told me
u left and now i'm lonely 
got 5gs and smoked that whole shit, holy-moly
u really said i was ur only
that guy was just a homie 
and now im dyin slowly, lonely

epitomeoffailure x kanashi x autumndropsdead x casperrr - blackened soul (sorrow bringer)

produced by decks

completely non profit

loveless 'til I die.

lyrics 

when I dream I see ur features
layered on the reapers
I just see ur face everywhere I go
I let her gut me like a creature
bourbon on my sneakers
only spilt my drink as she stole my soul

when I dream I see ur features
layered on the reapers
I just see ur face everywhere I go
I let her gut me like a creature
bourbon on my sneakers
only spilt my drink as she stole my soul

me and my boys we put down litres 
drinking til' our teeth hurt
we were born with addict carved in our bones
and when I dream I see ur features
layered on the reapers
I just see ur face everywhere I go

I'm a silhouette
of a tree in a storm
smoking cigarettes
got a couple thou
plan on saving it 
I been working hard
I been feeling it
n u just filling in
n I'm just mixing in
I worked 60 hours this week
n I'm still singing it
if that's not living it
then who knows what it is
work towards a future 
tho I do not plan on seeing it

when I dream I see ur features
layered on the reapers
I just see ur face everywhere I go
I let her gut me like a creature
bourbon on my sneakers
only spilt my drink as she stole my soul

me and my boys we put down litres 
drinking til' our teeth hurt
we were born with addict carved in our bones
and when I dream I see ur features
layered on the reapers
I just see ur face everywhere I go


layered (decks)

~2300~

Produced by myself and Ezra Martin 

Lyrics:
[HOOK]
It don't get much worse than this uh huh 
One more turn I missed uh huh
Frostbite on my lips uh huh
It’s not like I’ll forget uh huh
Scars still on my wrist uh huh
Show you where I’ve been uh huh
The hearts I’ve broken since uh huh
Some things I can’t fix uh huh
It’s alright just let go
A fading lie just an echo
The state of mind that I fled to
When all the love for me left you
I fell apart in that bedroom
And I’m seeing all that we’ve been through 
There’s so much you need that I can’t do 
But now thankfully I don’t have to

[VERSE 1]
Shield myself from
The outside I don’t feel welcome
At this time I hate what I’ve become 
But you rely on me for a reason
And I’ve grown so numb as of recent 
But I feel my lungs when I’m breathing 
Know I fill my cup full of demons
So I don’t feel lost when I’m leaving 
I’m a collection of faces
I hide in familiar places
I’ve seen the karma get wasted
I don’t acknowledge that I’m vacant 
For every promise that I’m breaking
I blame it all on my impatience
I’m selling out for a paycheck
‘Cause I told myself I’d never make it

[HOOK REPEAT]

*character limit lol*

Echo

chapter ii

produced by ztope
completely non profit

lyrics 

dragged by our feet
through the snow
the watchman saved our lives
and welcomed to his home
he has advice to give
he thought you needed some
this is no way to live
what have we become

the watchman lives to keep his lantern lit
he smells of edelwood and cigarettes
inside the forest you won't meet your death
beware the beast
this innocence is on his breath

he said they will turn on us
and we will burn to dust
we will get lost inside the forest
either one of us
so are you scared of us
cus we were left to rust
u think you care that much
this is what's left of us

don't let your mind disconnect 
from the world that you been living in
no I'm alright in the forest 
I'm at peace with all the denizens 
so keep your eyes on the track 
tho I know they feel like wandering
no I'm alright: it's an act
you just can't let doubt start setting in
several souls I know
well they left years ago
they took the lonely road
and they got lost in hope
so I'm a lonely rope
she left a lonely note
this is our only home
you're all I have to hold

decks

well I was born in blood and guts but who was counting
spoilt what I thought was mine to drown in
hold ur breath for as long as it's allowing 
the last of us are here for u
but now's it's go
go sleep in the snow
wake up to visions I'll never remember
I know now
where do we go
sickened and feeling ur losing ur tether 
it's part of the path that we take
born into hate and decay
everyone here is the same
look at the mess that we made

several souls I know
well they were once my home
they found a new one tho
and they got lost in the snow
so im your only hope
it's hard to let them go
I wish I'd never known
but now on forced to cope

betweentheveinsandi 

he said they would turn on us
and we would burn to dust
we will get lost inside the forest
either one of us
so are u scared of us?
cus we were left to rust?
u think u care that much.
this is what's left of us.


left of us ft. decks (ztope)

hearteater w/ skrwd (splashgang)

whats the problem?
prod. @imcaves
hope u enjoy <3

lyrics:
whats the problem
i try not to think ab it in the long run
say it louder to convince myself i’m awful
i see ur face n think i’ll never pass the autumn
ain’t it funny how that works
never knew how much it hurt
put a price atop my head i got a target
thought i need more attention now i’m starving
i knew myself a whole lot less than i regarded
now ur over me w him
i don’t know where to begin

u can tell me that theres more to life
but i just wish we were immortalized
i think im brave until im forced to fly
i’ll never catch up to the morning light

suffer, suture wounds
i crushed my future; tomb
i’d see the sun
if you’d just move a bit
puncture lungs removed
tell me what u do
when night hits
everything is new again

whats the problem
isnt this all that u wanted in the long run?
i could spend my days just waiting for a phone call
but if i did then i wouldnt be someone u want
aint it funny how that works
i’ll just lie down in the dirt
u can bend me how u wanna cuz i like that
i miss how you’d make me hurt i never fight back
i know that it didnt work but yet despite that
i’m a sucker for ur love
i thought it was kinda fun

u can tell me that theres more to life
but i just wish we were immortalized
i think im brave until im forced to fly
i’ll never catch up to the morning light
i'll never

brave bird [caves]

spotify, apple, etc.

[+ Tosha]

1st - @user-411557229 
2nd - @northshoremusic 
3rd - @emptychest 
4th - @torvamia 
5th - @strivemusicau 
6th - @caspywaspy 
7th - @soulfadexo 
8th - @x1fern 
9th - @noxious-nights 
10th - @navyxower 
11th - @shizukesaaa 
12th - @hoeplessboy

Holding Onto Something [+ Tosha x Kev]

vocal problems//healing
 (indefinite hiatus)


thank you for being here

fox claws (acey x nate2timez)

autumndropsdead

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