self sabotage ★

produced by heylog
enjoy <3

lyrics:
am i alive? guess we'll know if i breathe
i killed them all i can live in peace
i lost a lot, praying for enemies
avoiding evil that i might bring
i'll fight till death if it keeps u safe
i'll kill them all just to make sure ur okay
they charge at me, hold my ground, be brave
i lost my mind and there's nothing that remains

(one, two, three, go)

i just wrote you a letter
i wish u the best
yea i been doin better
and that's a big step
u got what u asked for
a life with no us
but u come back for more
and it's never enough
i just sent a letter
all the way from home
i'll miss u forever
why'd u have to go
i'm caught up in the center
baby i could die
it has been a pleasure
i'll meet u in the sky
this is it yea can't let down my guard
i never talk man, don't put me in charge
i cut her off should've done that from the start
leaving marks
i don't love me
why do i continue? swim in agony
we were so close until u stabbed me
i cut u off too cause u were bad for me
don't come back to me no

i'm so nervous right now i'm tweaking, why can i not speak
i fidget, it's so obvious i have anxiety
u sat there and did nothing while u saw me slowly bleed
i wiped it from my skin now there's scars for eternity
am i okay? guess we'll know if i breathe
check for my pulse to make sure it beats
i lost a lot, it's too much for me to see
i talk to god, praying for my enemies

spotify

the war II

https://open.spotify.com/album/2erLjZg3vJPYobdmKrexhW?si=Iu-yZ4N-Qc-Ec5v5DKoxrg

(casperrr)
stop with the lies
n tell me the truth 
when ur body lies
next to mine at noon
is it because u love me 
or am i a solution to u 
for what somebody else did
stop with the lies
n tell me the truth 
when ur body lies
next to mine at noon
is it because u love me 
or am i a replacement to u 
tell me who did u lose

(heylog)
she just burn right thru the past
like we were never a thing
baby how could u do that
and throw me against the wave
i just need someone to talk to
and have a soul to stay
i wonder if ppl are leaving me
and parting their own ways
morning always passes by
when i see u it's never right
right right right
when i see you it's always night
our insides exchange heat
when ur body lies w me
i don't want u to leave now
how bout we both just shut down

(casperrr + heylog)
stop with the lies
n tell me the truth 
when ur body lies
next to mine at noon
is it because u love me 
or am i a solution to u 
for what somebody else did
stop with the lies
n tell me the truth 
when ur body lies
next to mine at noon
is it because u love me 
or am i a replacement to u 
tell me who did u lose

casperrr x heylog - when ur body lies next to mine (nevrfrvr)

w @heylog
produced by sleepwater and leftquiet

lyrics:
ive been to heaven hell and she wanted it
she wanna ham my neck till im on it
switching positions i feel like im in night time
i don't feel the sun no more i dont like sunshine
quicker my heart declines
more that i find myself
shut my windows and blinds
more that i hate myself
i dislike everything
but dislike you the most
my lifes full of sin
cos i dont know where to go

stood outside im seeing flies
im outside you know my time
wait for this im on a climb
fuck my psyche its pain until i die
gaining more likes am i doing something right
its gone up in spikes have i gone up in my life
maybe you should listen to me once in a while
surely you would be different if you werent in denial
EVERY THOUGHT SHES EVER HAD STARTS TO FUCKING PILE
OH I WISH I NEVER HAD SHES FUCKING VILE
depression getting really bad you can crack a smile
you can barely leave your bed stop acting like a child
how did you get rid of your sweat did you run it off
do something w ur life and make it worthwile

heylog:
she's so psychotic, i knew when i saw
speaking so toxic ur just like ur mom
everything i do she gets really pissed
so why does it feel like it's always my fault
god ur chaotic, quit starting a fight
i ain't one to argue, it's a waste of time
she purposely trying to spark up a flame
and now all of this is getting out of line
oh baby
ur so cold
ur making this easy
give more
oh baby
we're off course
she said she want more she said she want more
innocence
don't exist
she'll find ways to get your head
she's offended again
exaggerate things i say
oh my dear
you're in fear
block it out with a few beers
everyone she's ever cursed is in a pile
everyone she's ever hurt calls her vile
and everyone she's done the worst gets away
am i the only one who's learned from her pain
now the whole place burnt down
and i can see it in her eyes she's happy
i hope you know u look like a clown
cus only you would act a little trashy

𝘴𝘭𝘦𝘦𝘱𝘺 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨

pile w/heylog

please dont leave me now
i cant be alone
i cant go out on my own
i get so worked up crawling through the mud
i dont think i can get out

wait
im asleep
when i wake
ill forget
ill get up
draw a breath
try to make you understand me

these things take time
i get it
im not the one who said it
make me believe you meant it
trying to not regret it

worked up

rain w/ xona [p. jolst x 88STRAIT x xona]

Self prod :) 

LYRICS 

Love stuck in my lonely ways
I gotta leave me its my only way
I cannot take it with the shit you say
I swear this town should burn in fire
And il run away

Break me take me leave a little more for me desire
Cannot tempt the fate of one that meddles with his heart
Iron melts like gold and I cant stand it when you're hot
Leave me on the phone for like hours til you're gone
I don't want this love I wanna break into your heart
Clearly nothings there all your empathy is gone
Maybe you're just scared and all this time im wrong
I don't really care I just wanna see you gone

Love stuck in my lonely ways
I gotta leave me its my only way
I cannot take it with the shit you say
I swear this town should burn in fire
And il run away

Love stuck in my lonely ways
I gotta leave me its my only way
I cannot take it with the shit you say
I swear this town should burn in fire
And il run away

Throwing nothing but stones
Oh why she tell me that she love me
When she hate me the most
I get im ugly I can't handle 10 degrees in the cold
thats why im always at home
Leave you with the best time that I ever had
Wish I had the best life that I ever had
Tripping in the next life what we never had
I don't really care I just wanna see you gone

Love stuck in my lonely ways
I gotta leave me its my only way
I cannot take it with the shit you say
I swear this town should burn in fire
And il run away

Love stuck in my lonely ways
I gotta leave me its my only way
I cannot take it with the shit you say
I swear this town should burn in fire
And il run away

THIS TOWN SHOULD BURN IN FIRE

produced by xona

@heylog

-lyrics-
deep within my own skin
i stay low until my breath
runs out and i hold my neck
cause deep down i need to rest
the only thing i need is you
a little late, i ain’t got to lose
anything to get us through
but I’ll stay like back then too

well, it’s awful to think
you’re on my mind and can’t let it deplete
sit in my room then write the lyrics to sing
but I’m discarding this energy to bring back the old me
its a tragic that i let it go
i couldn’t tell if you need me close 
well it’s too late for that now
so i can’t keep you around 
don’t need to make another sound

baby i know you love it when you see me overthink
got me pushing buttons tryna get this thing to play
never thought a girl would challenge me to use my brain
think outside the box using my logic against her game

i know you love it when you see me overthink
baby please
tell me what it means
these other guys try to steal you from me
they're enemies
break em to their knees
cut the rope
let the river flow
one at a time
kill em, let em know
baby go
get inside the boat
it's business for me to kill all them very slow

hazel

hazel w/ heylog

produced by heylog
enjoy

lyrics:
we went through a lot of ups and downs
yet you still stayed close to my side
we often dug straight to the ground
you don't know what i look like now
just a number in my phone
i'll love you the most
march is a horrible month
why's it always cold
spent the end to cry
i miss you every night
don't call me when you see this
i'll hit decline
i don't look the same
as i used to
is this a bad thing
log, i don't know you
i don't look the same
like before
and i don't recognize myself
anymore

2 weeks 'till i go home
can't wait to see you, oh
october is when you go
now things are coming to
an end

she'll only love me if i just love myself
but baby with you i felt things i don't feel
i couldn't imagine to feel someone else
the thought of it always gets me overwhelmed
i hate separating from people i love
but i go forever without anyone
i will go for days and not say any words
you won't hear from me cause i sit back and lurk
closing the drapes to block out any light
the things that i do i would never advise
it's so bad for me and hm, i wonder why
growing more acne and i'm not surprised
don't look at me, please don't look at my face
the way that you stare makes me humiliate
i swear i get uglier
i don't look the same
you won't recognize me by how much i've changed
changed

update failed

prod by stezzyxl 
guitar by michael harrison 
enjoy ^\^

lyrics:
she’s like a mystery, a puzzle i can’t solve
i try reach out but she ghostes, and withdraws
she loves to keep it to herself, silent resolve
the more that we don’t talk, the length of it evolves

she invites a side of her, a stranger i don’t know
her words and action are like poison she can’t control 
as her dark side emerges, fear begins to grow
the more I fight, the more she tightens up her hold

maybe someone else needs come and take my place
to whom i once loved to the point i’m losing faith
10 months have passed yet, you remain the same
you turned into the being, that u know i hate

oh
where have u been
no one likes me anymore (x2)

(leave me)

she makes me turn into the person that i don’t wanna be
she ripped my heart out of my chest and layed it so we can feast
her actions says it all she will not change even if she tried
but i’ll still hold on to her even if it makes me die

why would i
go ahead and ruin my life
for someone like yourself
if i didn’t even care for ur health
so tell me 
why would i
try so hard to make this work
if i didn’t even care for ur worth
but u treated me like i’m dirt 
so tell me (x2)

ive done some things that i dont like to say
i’ve been all of the the things that i say that i hate
a cheat, a lie, the smoke in the sky
i don’t want u to see, can u please close ur eyes?
but i have learned from all my mistakes
i will never go back to reside in that place
i have changed for the better and that i can say
i put that on my grave (x2)

back in time ll

produced by: @tnvr555
vocals and lyrics by: me and @heylog

lyrics:
just a sec, i needa bit to catch my breath
i try to hold onto what's left
but it seems that you're leaving again
and i saw your face
you're laughing at the back of the room
you're with someone and i can assume that
you have moved on, so soon
(you have moved on, so soon)

and this jealousy consumes at my mind
i can't believe that you're not mine
it gets harder to breathe, when you're not laying next to me
i think i've fallen in too deep

summer's coming round the corner, i can't wait to be warm
the uv's high so we lay some blankets out on the porch
and do you remember what you said to me
our past is something hard to believe
don't go
cause i don't want anybody else
oh no
i really don't want anybody now
i'm edging toward the ground
but that's what happens all the time as soon as life goes on
to you i'm not important
and i hope i'm wrong
without you it's harder to breathe
cause you're not laying next to me

and this jealousy consumes at my mind
i can't believe that you're not mine
it gets harder to breathe, when you're not laying next to me
(not laying next to me)
and this jealousy consumes at my mind
i can't believe that you're not mine
it gets harder to breathe, when you're not laying next to me
i think I've fallen in too deep

hope every1 has a good day/night xx

jealousy w/ heylog (tnvr)

@heylog @oc 

// geist
say you’ll change
words are worthless
baby you’re a fake
and i’m not for it
snakes stay in the lake
so go join them
don’t talk to me
i’m not your friend
darling

can’t stand to hate myself
need to fix my health
so i put the bottle down
and hit the gym instead
you gave it all for wealth
how do you face yourself?
you’re so caught up in your media
it’s so unwell

i don’t want to see your face
i swear show up and you will die.
put that bitch back in her place
can’t tell her ego from her pride
love to talk about your problems
but your life is such a lie
you’re not fooling anybody
swear to god i meant goodbye

// heylog
i was not afraid to tell her that she was being delusional
cause all her little friends just encourage her to be a hoe
well it's not hard to find someone who isn't modest
and with that i feel my brain slowly rotting
don't know why you gotta constantly talk over me
i used to let that go, now i say shut up when i speak
it's like you never have respect for anything i say
you try to lead me on, i can't be weak
i can't be weak

weak w/ heylog [oc]

guitar played by @user-374890447

lyrics:
what do you know about this
what do you know about this
oh what do you know about this
I'm sick of saying that I'm okay

I'm sick of saying no
my friends are out while i lay at home
when time ticks i pray it don't
i wanna leave but I'm all alone
i wanna leave but I'm all alone
i wanna leave but im all alone
im sick of saying no
my friends are out while i lay at home
when time ticks i pray it don't
i wanna leave but I'm all alone
i wanna leave but I'm all alone
i wanna leave but I'm all alone

say what u done to me
you open me gave me misery
you blow out the candle as i set it alight
fate wasn't kind to me
your over me were history
into someone else
erases every part of me

I'm sick of saying no
my friends are out while i lay at home
when time ticks i pray it don't
i wanna leave but I'm all alone
i wanna leave but I'm all alone
i wanna leave but I'm all alone
I'm sick of saying no
my friends are out while i lay at home
when time ticks i prey it don't
i wanna leave but im all alone
i wanna leave but im all alone
i wanna leave but im all alone

anxiety

prod by me :) <3

lyrics -
ur telling me to hold on
i don't really think u see the best in me
'cos i know
if u really want it you'd make it work
oh i can see the end of us
can't believe that the wall was breached
god i don't wanna go
but you've been pushing me out for a while now
oh no

i hide my face when she laughing at it
cant lie, i dont care, cause shes going nowhere
told ur boy if he wanna back it, come out on the street but hes going somewhere
she getting cold now
pulled out, undercover when she come round
whole streets on the floor, what she know now
tears ready on the floor when she go out

breaking loads of bottles again
got a problem when you talk on ya friends
you want to tell me how she loves me
take you to dance
say you want to trust me I can’t relax
taking all you pour out
i don’t want the door down
7 milli foreign with the Roley got me iced out
in my dreams you know I’m having it
i can barely breathe when all these problems keep on happening

my nose red, blood is pouring out fast
i sit down, think i need to relax
she start her month say, "let's go to the bath"
she look at me when i cause her to gag
after i'm done i gotta leave ur house
cus i don't got time for any cuddles now
a kiss goodbye but she pulls me down
she told me she wanna go another round

couldn’t get enough, ignore the other side
I’ll tell it from the front
you speak about love, that’s never been us
these doors stayed shut
keep your facade
laid out-
knowing it was dormant
a few years and I’m back to this torment
is it really that important?
you know it better than me
you couldn’t let it at peace
this whole story was about me
I’ve got you right on your knees
the only thing that I need
is to make you forget at least…

the end of us (feat. hiraeth, erxn, heylog & xona)

Stream "know a thing" by @heylog (prod. @irby314)
https://streamlink.to/knowathing-heylog

Lyrics:
i don't wanna heal myself again
no, i don't need to miss you like i did
promised recently i'd hit decline
but i couldn't do it this one time

i don't know why i can't
feel anything or understand
feel anything or understand
i don't know why i can't
feel anything or understand
do i even give a damn
do i even give a damn

every night i wake up in a sweat
every single word you ever said
come together without feeling harm
quickly run to you with open arms

can't believe i'm doing this again
it's been so long so like, how you been?
they don't even know a thing or two
they know more about me than 'bout you

i don't know why i can't
feel anything or understand
i don't know why i can't
feel anything or understand
i don't know why i can't
feel anything or understand

do i even give a damn
do i even give a damn

heylog - know a thing (irby)

Heartstrings

☆ I make music :0

☆ if u wanna use me as a cover lmk only have my number so keep that in mind

☆ 16 yo

☆ I'm cool i swear I am 

jealousy w/ heylog (tnvr)

B MURPH (@bmurphxo)

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