Battle Bytes Complete Collection

rap battels

Battle Bytes is a new series from UBERocity that is basically the One Minute Melee of rap battles. Two rappers, one verse each, any matchup goes.

MetalFire as Mr. Burns
Mancha as Mr. Freeze

Freeze:
This Pennyworthless prick is about to lose millions!
Spit it iller than this Stooge--I’m a chill supervillain!
When your assets are frozen I'll show this misanthrope
That when it comes to atoms he’s an Iced-otope!
I’m a Burn Freezer, and I’m owning you, geezer 
With a Christmas diss to piss off Ebenezer!
This monotoned bag of bones will get mono-railed
In this Feast for Crows you Snow I’ve prevailed!

Burns:
I’ve got an Ivy League win, I’m a power plant!
So I’ll expel you from a battle like Billionaire Camp!
Took shots from two babies and both times survived!
Don’t be surprised at my reaction to meltdown your wife!
You can’t find Asylum from C. M. the MC
And you’ll be frost bitten when the Hounds are released
So silence, Snow Miser, I’ll live on in Epochs!
Your weeping’s just why they call it cry-ogenics!

Mr. Burns vs Mr. Freeze. Battle Bytes #1

shrock

Mancha as Alexander the Great
Eddie as Link

Alexander:
They sent A Link to the Past just to face Alexander?
You can’t Tri-force yourself to win against a commander
This elf will wish he hadn’t faced the King of Macedon
When I make this Dodongo swallow my rap bombs
I’m An-enemy, a god, I’ll shock ‘ya, Greece lightning!
My heritage divine divined I’m electrifying!
You think you’re a problem with the items you’ve got 
But excuuuuse me, princess. It’s simple, you’re Knot!

Link:
You’d think that “The Great” would live up to his name
But even a recorder leaves me more blown away
You can’t take down a Legend! When I Wind I’ll dethrone ya!
Go jump on your horse before I E-pwn-y’a
I Glee-rok shrock the roof with my Flame Rod rhymes, boy
Heat leaves you a fever: Ocarina of Typhoid 
I Master both Swords and Words when it’s my time to strike
Aristotle should’ve taught ya how to Hy-rule the mic


Battle Bytes

Alexander the Great vs Link. Battle Bytes #2

Happy Birthday to Seth!

Adam as Pringles
Seth as Monopoly

Pringles:
Here’s something to chew on, you affluent half-wit
Bite me, do me a flavor, and can it!
Sorry! Get a Clue, or you’ll Risk occupation
The Park Brothers don’t have a Place in Recreation
Collect two hundred reasons why I shouldn’t be nice
Popping caps like tops with just a roll of the dice
You put people to sleep, I own the snack food Monopoly!
No card will get you out of this ass kicking for free

Monopoly:
I’m getting board of this game, so you’re gonna get played
Since I’m more successful than when Cats was on Broadway
I’ve got stacks upon stacks of cash, but your snacks
Will take a topple and make like the stock markets: crash
Because my victory is like your loans would be, default
I can really taste the vinegar that’s paired with your salt
So get off of my property, you Newfangled Fuck!
Don’t take a Chance against me or you’ll Go straight to bankrupt


Julius Pringles vs Mr. Monopoly. Battle Bytes #3

"Who are these people?" This is a battle I wrote for school, shortened down by a bit for the BB Format. (Original was 8844) Vignelli was a famous Modernist designer, being very strict with his designs and ideas, always following a grid. Duchamp was a Dadaist artist, meaning his work was wacky and not necessarily made for the eye but for the mind. I included a reference guide at the bottom.

Yobar as Duchamp
Mancha as Vignelli

Duchamp:
Make way for the Du-champion! En Avant Garde! 
I have Readymade rhymes, but I’m not indifferent to this blowhard!
I’ve never seen a man with such a fetish for a typeface!
You’re going down! Screwed, and descending a staircase!
Let’s talk about your wife, she’s a real Mona Lisa
Elle a chaud au cul, like my disses will leave ‘ya!
All your pieces look the same, it’s no wonder they’re flawed!
So I’ll leave you with one question... who's your Dada?

Vignelli:
It makes sense that a blockhead would call himself a Cubist
I heard your verse, now I’ll tell you what my post impression is
The best at a battle because I’m skilled when it comes to mock
-ups! You know I'll bring you Hell on the side of a box--AH
You’ve got me pissed, like your fountain, so I’ll flush it away
Man, you’re even more unpopular than my map of the Subway!
I’m a Helvetica veteran, you’re a mess of a man in a wrecked state 
Who’s a victim of chess, which will end in a checkmate

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1B7iYOK616Aq_GlGuAwRPegu56j0jXkii9Utb-1uDdc0/edit?usp=sharing

Massimo Vignelli vs Marcel Duchamp. Battle Bytes #4

Skeep as Tattletail
JMB as Mama Tattletail
Atronach's Aura as Tatl
Eddiefrb as Tael


Tattletail
Play time for me! Big fun! Hide and seek!
‘Til me trap you in my eggs! Ah ah! No peeking!
Arguing? Stealing masks? Me know what you did…
This pair of Deku Scrubs will be left a pair of Skulls, kid!
Your Time’s running out even when me sing a Song
And you’ll go Clock Down if you don’t play along
Disses for you! Tattletail, that’s me!
No more Mama and no more fairies!

Tatl and Tael
You’re in Majora trouble, prepare for a brush with misery
Quickly Termina this baby and return to our trickery!
A treat? We’ve made an Oath to Order you to disengage
It’s your final day, you little son of a! Turn the page.
No pentagram could banish our fierce deity incarnate
Better get some rest, I’ve just made you my Zeeeee-target!
Can’t return this Furby cuz he just was built too cheap
So we’ll tattletale to Mama ‘bout how you won’t get your sleep

Tattletail vs Tatl & Tael. Battle Bytes #5

Hellboy: Titanium2108
Ghost Rider: MultiSuperVids

Hellboy:
I’m on the case to put skullface in his place
I didn’t realize you were still alive, I was expecting Reyes 
With that ugly mug? No one's gonna stare into your eyes
With the hand of Doom I wield, you’ve no chance to survive
My samaritans will show up, united we’ll confront this
Further vigilante whose murders just promote Injustice
Hate to Whip-crack it to ya, you're a useless numb-skull
You’re not worth my time, end this kid with two from my pistol

Ghost Rider:
Un Rama! The day of judgement is upon you, scum!
Your films? Forgettable. Your comics? Ineligible. Come get some.
I’m sorry to say that you missed me with your weeb fronting
Even with a penance stare, I did “Nazi” that coming
While I’m burning through sin, I can tell what your night is
Judging by how in handiness you’re so lopsided
Johnny’s 4/20 Blazing, you ain’t a Ghost of this Rider
Just another demonspawn engulfed in my hellfire!
 
*Hellboy puts out his cigar, lights it on Ghost Rider*

Hellboy:
Thanks for the light, is that the only real burn you’re shilling?
With lines so warped, no wonder the Avengers saw you as a villain
Now Johnny B. Good better back up till he Ketches his backup
When a royal king hits ya, even your sister won’t get you back up
Your dealings meant nothing when they came from Lucifer
I'm getting a third film, you're getting busted by the Punisher
Cuz, after this fight kid, your reputation's desecrated
Ruin you in this firefight, like opening a Cage did

Ghost Rider:
Let’s see if the Perlman can still stick in character
When my chains fracture his frail Excalibur
Not accepted as a child, nothing but an outsider
I’ll take your wife, Liz, she’ll be another ghost rider
Covered in fire, yet you still attempt to roast me?
You approach me, you mostly, will end up ghostly
Fire and brimstone leads to chargrilled bones, sadly
Because I'll send a Hellspawn back to his daddy

Spawn: (Different Beat)
Burn in Hell, demon kid, and it seems rider’s boned
Before this Monster in the Bubble puts you in the Dead Zone
Antiheroes? Please, I’ve seen greater nobility from Violator
Now you're just a Hero for Hire, no need to be Frank, Ryder
Leetha provides me with whatever I need to slaughter demons
This Ex-Force Recon is forcing retcons on these heathens
This red dead dread should tread lightly down this path
Or like the devil and God’s existence, I’ll banish your ass
Your raps have pissed me off, now I’ll show you an Endgame
With mutation I’m making your reputations a shame
Manipulate dimensions and stick you both in a tomb
When Hellboy’s done having fun with his right hand of doom
Ended gods and monsters, and many more that I’ve claimed
So I won't Terry in the affairs of those who I would’ve maimed
You could try your hardest but I’d just undergo a resurrection 
As far as I’m concerned, Scorpion’s a cleaned skull for my collection

Spawn: Stofferex

Written by: Written by Seth W, R the Writer, thelegion, DeanFalcon, TV rap battles, Dani Frias, Redkirby101ishere, Honeycombs 96, NSAGAJIWB

Hellboy VS Ghost Rider - CBRB Vol. 2 Issue 7

Patron Battle Bytes suggested by Matthew Thomas!

Adam as Captain America
Matthew Thomas as Steven Universe

Captain America:
Ten hut! It’s Captain Rogers! You need to shape up, chubby!
Don’t be a mic addict son, because winners don’t battle me
Born on the 4th of July, I’m like your Uncle Grandpa Sam
Cuz you’re in the dust my shield kicks up trying to be a Superman
Even with the home advantage beating me will be a real “Beach”
Cause you don’t have the funky flow to best me on the beats
So call me the Winner Soldier while you struggle with your Gem Glow
And prove that I’m the Star at a 50 to 1 ratio

Steven Universe:
Keep that S.H.I.E.L.D. away from me, I don't want a Civil War
‘Cause when it comes to saving the day, I'm the real super Star!
America struggling against the Universe? You’re about to take some damage
Falling apart harder than the Earth’s Flightiest team dynamic!
But the bonds between Gems are Diamond, they’re forever!
We’re protectors, aren’t you guys too aggressive to be Avengers?
Spit cold like Sapphire, make to sure leave this Cookie Cap on ice!
And lick a liar who went to leave behind the love of his life!

Captain America vs Steven Universe. Battle Bytes #13

Patron Battle Bytes are in progress :) In the meanwhile, have a rap battle commemorating the release of The Last Jedi! No spoilers for it!

MultiSuperVids as Kylo Ren
Seth as Reaper

Reaper:
Let the bodies hit the floor when death walks among you
I’ve seen better Dark Sides on any solar system’s moon
It comes full circle when Death Blossoms, Bullseye!
‘Cause I’ll kill you like your father, Je-Die Die Die!
Left abandoned by your parents, now you’re acting underage
A prepubescent Baby Driver with your little fits of rage
And your only real fans are all the emo tweens on Pinterest
Wanted to be your grandpa but ended up a Disney Princess!

Kylo: 
Try Shadow Stepping to me and get Supreme Leader Smoked
My First Order of business is to reduce you to a cloak
Force on mE-A charge of greed, your lootboxes were the prequel
But here, your insufficient skill is what keeps us unequal
[Oh Wa Ah Ah Ah Ah!]
You may be famous, Reyes, being the front of a Blizzard,
But don’t appeal popularity to the canon Starkiller
Watch as my heart grows Blacker ending you and this fight
Now it seems neither of us will again see the light

Kylo Ren vs Reaper. Battle Bytes #14

Mario:
I spit epic lines against this f**king sh*t rip off
You’ll be siivagunned down to the ground so stop
I’ll plow right through you like bricks, breaking more ground than the Wii
You’ll fall like a Lakitu, I’m used to curb-stomping tiny enemies
I’ve got the Nintendo Power to outlive any memes you bring
I’m known the world over, you don’t matter in the Grand scheme of things
Are your eyes blue because you’re feeling depressed?
If not then I’ll make you feel that, because I’m the best!

Grand Dad:
I'll boot your legs in, don't even dare try to own me
I'm on top! You're comin' up Smol like Nozomi!
I’m grand, you’re banned, and I’ll leave your a** canned
I’m a man, I’m not a fan, so I’ll hit you with a pan
You're a frickin moron b***h, so be ashamed and cry
Why don't you Grab me lunch and maybe Die
You make me f**king cringe- ew ttgd
Call me your grand daddy~ cause now you listen to me

Mario:
I'll turn the tables when this foe's been boned
I'm smoking this joke, even though he's already flinstoned
I'm packed with bars of fire just like one of bowser's castles
Reaching for the win like a flagpole in order to end this battle

Grand Dad:
I'm a top-notch gangsta, why not replace Grand with God?
While you're a faded out star scrapped in favor of COD
Run out of time or this fight, either way you'll descend bro
I'll switch things up as I stomp out this coinwhore for Nintendo

Who Won

Who's Next

You Decide

Jaeden Man89 Rap Battles of 

GRAND DAD
FLEENTSTONES?

Numbness

Written by Red, Adroitwhiz, , epicman12 , Jaeden-Man89, R The Writer

Beat
https://youtu.be/kGg6q1j6jZE

Cast:
King Mewtwo as Mario
Red As Grand Dad

If you think it's good I might do another

Mario Vs Grandad

Gru vs. Bowser

Mat4yo as Gru
Multi as Bowser

Beat by Kustom 
Mixed by Skeep
Thumbnail Art by Boris
Written by Freshy Kanal, R the Writer, Legion, Blake, Brodecai
Chiseled by Mat4yo

Gru: 
Got the freeze ray packed, time to put your hands up.
A turtle wants to face off? Well, where’s the camera?
This reptile thinks I'm dumber, well let's look at the numbers
I tackled top crimes, while you’re one-upped by a plumber!
My despicable mind commits the time’s true crimes!
I’ll poach your family AND I’ll steal the turtle crossing sign
Turn your membrane to soup! spook ya more than your ghosts did
Add this to your routine of ending up roasted.

Bowser: 
Like your jam operation, I'll put the lid on you for good
When I leave you in the dark, like the fate of your childhood.
Take it from a father, you don’t learn to be bossy
by coddling your monsters like your name was Bill Cosby!
Disregard those viruses, I'm the illest foe to Mario
Can't keep your cool here, try following Nefario
So let me twist your story to get your lies fixed 
You've met a beast from ‘85 who leaves your crew 86’ed

Gru: 
Stay Gru-vy, Bowser, save your muscles for later.
You couldn’t arm wrestle ‘gainst a lipstick taser.
Getting beat like a piñata at the Koopa cabana
My man, ya can’t-a please a peach with your turtle-

BANANA!

Minions and Gru:
Step aside, we need space for an army in the battle.
Time for you and your 7 dwarves to bite in the sour apple
Molten flow to melt away your face after our rhyme flows
Leave your jaw dropping as you’re crushed into dry bones
Spread your flesh into jelly and then you’ll be on a roll!
As you've fallen off this track even more than rainbow road
Our quality colony drops an army of bars.
We’ve stolen the moon, say goodbye to your stars!

Bowser Jr.: 
From retiring villany on some zinkerminions to leech
On the list: kidnap your Mrs instead of one single peach
Blast your entire arsenal, check all the bombs I'm packing
Step into my airship and all you will have left is your accent.
Even Vector’s tracking cams can’t see through our attack plan.
It’s not the first time this Olympian cracked an egg, man.
Brushed aside all your life, this fight should feel the same
As you're left with your packing peanuts in the box of shame

Freshy Kanal as Minion 1
Skeep as Minion 2
Eddie as Bowser Jr.

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Bonus Stuff:

Karaoke for Covers:
http://picosong.com/wY6GP/

Acapella for Remixes:
http://picosong.com/wY6Gw/

Old Flowtest:
http://picosong.com/wyXW8/

Matteo in Character ;D
http://picosong.com/wY6P5/

Hint for Next Battle:
I wonder...

Kylo Ren vs Reaper. Battle Bytes #14

Battle Bytes | UBERocity