Songs with a twinge of humor (and some a bit more serious).

Joe Stroffolino - Joe on the Edge

Copyright 2024 Joe Stroffolino

Lots of people moving to the state of AZ
The desert seems like a nice a nice place to be
The only problem is there’s not enough H20
One day you’ll turn the tap and it’s not gonna flow
The climate keeps getting drier every single year
I guess we’ll have to take fewer showers and drink more beer

If you can’t stand the heat maybe you should get out of the kitchen
Maybe this isn’t the right place for you.
The sun up in the sky is 93 million miles away
But it feels a lot closer on a hot Arizona day

There’s not enough snowpack on the mountains up high
They say the Colorado river’s running dry
They’re ripping up lawns, replacing them with rocks
Instead of going barefoot, you walk around in crocs
The polar glaciers are melting in to the sea
I wish that they could scoop up an iceberg and drop it down on me

If you can’t stand the heat maybe you should get out of the kitchen
Maybe this isn’t the right place for you

Most of the rain falls in the summer
Monsoon season can be a real bummer
You get a big dust storm, they call it a haboob
You can watch scary videos on You Tube
You’ll be driving and suddenly you can’t see
You gotta make sure you don’t crash into a cactus or a tree

If you can’t stand the heat maybe you should get out of the kitchen
Maybe this isn’t the right place for you

A long time a ago, it must have been tough without air conditioning
People just had to sit around all day moaning and bitching 
Now the biggest thing we complain about is our high electric bill
As we lie on the couch watching Netflix enjoying the comfortable chill

If you can’t stand the heat maybe you should get out of the kitchen
Maybe this isn’t the right place for you
The sun up in the sky is 93 million miles away
But it feels a lot closer on a hot Arizona day

Can't Stand the Heat

Cast of Characters:
Joe Stroffolino-- @joseph-stroffolino -- Taylor 114ce acoustic guitar, main vocals, harmony vocals, lyrics, composition
Llanpsych -- @llanpsych -- Tez – Fender HSS Telecaster electric guitar
TexMex Shaman–@texmex-shaman –Stephen– Tom Anderson Custom T electric guitar, mix, mastering, and production
Mistermark-- @user-432503709 -- Mark – piano
K2 and the Three [and the Four]--@k2andthe3, @k2-kara -–Ken–drums
Entheogenic Psychonaught (Josh Clary)–@josh-clary-1 –- four string Fender Precision Bass with a plectrum

This song began as one of Joe's catchy, lyrically centered songs, which he wrote on his acoustic guitar, and filled in with VST instruments. He came up with the lyrics by sharing ideas with fellow SoundCloud musician Michele Ansani, who began the thought process of a song about becoming a musician.
Knowing that Josh is a fan of his work, Joe offered this song to him in hopes that he'd share it with the rest of the band. Of course, Josh jumped at the opportunity to work on his song, and immediately shared it with the rest of the group.
Ken went to work first, adding his driving, excting drums. Josh was having a hard time coming up with a good bass line for it, until Ken suggested that he use the power of the 1/8 note to propel it. Tez was up next with his clever fills you hear throughout the first half of the song. Stephen came along right after and matched Tez's energy for the guitar fills in the second half of the song.
It was still missing a solo in the designated spot, though, so Mark stepped up with his innovative piano solo you hear in the middle. If it sounds a little mechanical, that's because he's using an arpeggiator to achieve the effect. We thought it sounded good in a song about AI, though.
Once all the parts were dialed in, and Joe had gotten all his vocals tuned up, we asked one of our resident pros, Stephen, to mix it for us. He did that and mastered it, too, expertly, as always.
This is the first song we've ever done with Joe, and don't expect it to be the last. We all really enjoyed putting together, in no small part because Joe is such a competent, receptive, and gracious collaborator. We all hope you enjoy listening to it as much as we enjoyed creating it.

Lyrics by Michele Ansani and Joe Stroffolino
Music by Joe Stroffolino (@joseph-stroffolino)

When I was thirteen I picked up my first guitar
it was my mother's, it only had one nylon string
I tried to play it like a rock star
I learned to play the Coca-Cola jingle
So I could teach the world to sing
When I was fourteen, I put on six new strings
I learned to play Beatles, I learned a Bob Dylan song
I sounded out of tune but I tried to carry on
At fifteen I wrote my first original tune
So bad it sounded like it might have been written by a baboon
When I was sixteen, I got a new guitar for my birthday
The metal strings sawed through my fingers
But I continued to play
And the calluses formed and every day I learned a brand new chord
I was obsessed with that guitar and I never grew bored.
I wrote songs every day and most of them were a mess
But I believed that through hard work, I could achieve success
Malcom Gladwell wrote a book that said it takes ten thousand hours
To become and expert at your craft
But now all it takes is two commands and an enter
And in two minutes you have ten versions of the same damn new song,
You just have to choose the type
folk, rock, rap, pop, metal, jazz, trap or blues.
You don't even need to write the lyrics,
your push a few buttons let the AI choose.

And people will think your songs are great even though you didn’t write or play a single note.
When I was 20, I did my first concert, it was time
it occurred in a village square
there were four cats all friends of mine
I was still using the plectrum and sometimes I got the chords wrong
at thirty I finally wrote what I thought was a decent song
It had a very well thought out structure

AI Sucks - Eclectic Collective

Music and Lyrics Copyright 2025 Joe Stroffolino
Vocals Joe Stroffolino
Guitar's: Fender Squire picking track  and Taylor 114ce strumming track Joe Stroffolino
Violin and Bass PG Music real tracks
Drums EZ drummer 3
Piano Logic Pro Session Player track 

All these people who claim they were abducted by alien UFO’s
They say they took them up onto the spaceship and examined them from head to toe.
Most people think those stories are made up, but what if they’re actually true
It kind of makes you wonder what motivates those aliens to do the things they do
If I ever get abducted by aliens from outer space, I think I might ask if I could hitch a ride off this crazy place. 
People who believe we couldn’t have built the pyramids without alien assistance
There’s days when I can’t find my car keys without lots of searching and persistence. 
Maybe we’re just 2 legged creatures and the earth’s an exotic alien zoo. 
And they come here on safari to see what we’re up to
If I ever get abducted by aliens from outer space, I think I might ask if I could hitch a ride off this crazy place. 
Even if they don’t consider me to be much better than a trained monkey
I could play my guitar to cheer them up whenever they feel grumpy.
They say the speed of light is as fast as you can possibly go
Maybe those aliens have access to information we don’t know
Maybe they just look at us in the same way scientists study bugs
They read the work of our most brilliant minds and they just shrug
Maybe someday if we start World War three, they’ll stop the missiles from firing
Or maybe they’ll just let us blow ourselves up because they find our behavior so tiring
Maybe someday if they think we’re ready, they’ll land a spaceship in times square
And although they’re usually naked, they’ll put on some underwear
If I ever get abducted by aliens from outer space, I think I might ask if I could hitch a ride off this crazy place. 
Even if they don’t consider me to be much better than a trained monkey
I could play my guitar to cheer them up whenever they feel grumpy.
There's days on earth when it feels like it might be kind of nice to get away
And getting abducted by aliens just might be okay.

If I Ever Get Abducted

Copyright 2025 Joe Stroffolino 
***
Vocals, Strumming and picking tracks (Taylor 114ce): Joe Stroffolino
Additional Picking Track: Native Instruments Sunburst Guitar
Bass, Drums and Keys: Toontrack EZ Bass, EZ drummer and EZ Keys
Fiddle: PG Music Real track (viola)
Recorded using Logic Pro 11 and mastered with Ozone 11
***
All those times when you tried to play at the at top of your game
lately your enthusiasm’s starting to wane
You’ve been trying so hard to re-ignite that fire in your belly
lately your resolve, it’s turning into jelly 
You've been trying to be the best that you can be
but maybe you’ve been barking up the wrong tree
if your Spidey sense starts to tingle, maybe it’s a sign 
that you should open up the curtains and let in some sunshine
Sometimes you need to listen to your inner voice
Every morning that you wake up you still have a choice 
You’ve been swinging for a home run, but you can’t even seem to get to first base
You feel stuck like a rat in a race, like one of those monkey’s they shot into outer space
There’s days when it feels like you’re hanging by the end of your rope
And you struggling so hard to find a solution so you can cope
if your Spidey sense starts to tingle, maybe it’s a sign 
that you should open up the curtains and let in some sunshine
Sometimes you need to listen to your inner voice
Every morning that you wake up you still have a choice 
You try to make it through each day and sometimes you feel like the missing link
White knuckling your way through all the changes, trying not to be the first to blink
People doing things fast with AI that you're sure would take you several weeks
But you swear you’re going keep doing things the old-fashioned way with your luddite techniques
Your life is like a river that’s constantly flowing, 
You get swept along by the current You’re never sure where it’s going
Sometimes it feels like you’re playing a game of musical chairs
You’re afraid that when the music stops, you’ll be the one whose left standing there

If your Spidey sense starts to tingle, maybe it’s a sign 
that you should open up the curtains and let in some sunshine
Sometimes you need to listen to your inner voice
Every morning that you wake up you still have a choice

All Those Times

So, your weight keeps going up and your motivation keeps down.
Situations that used to make you smile, lately they make you frown.
The pants that used feel comfortable, now feel too tight.
You used to be a lover but now you just want to fight.
You feel like the human version of a caterpillar, who went into a cocoon
And when you emerged, you were singing a different tune
Maybe you should take a look around at all those people worse off than you.
You should count your blessings and be thankful you don’t have to walk a mile in their shoes.
Try to find the silver lining in those situations where you constantly complain
Try to be part of the solution instead of yanking on everyone's chain.
Everywhere you go you pontificate about all the things that you hate.
You reminisce about the good old days but back then you were complaining too.
Every year those new year’s resolutions, they quickly come and go.
They disappear as fast as the springtime melts the snow.
You wish you could join the circus to escape your current life.
But the circus had to close down cause they were concerned about animal rights.
You want to get your mojo back. You’ve fallen in a crack.
You’re like a cockroach lying upside down wigging your little legs and you can’t roll over
Maybe you should take a look around at all those people worse off than you.
You should count your blessings and be thankful you don’t have to walk a mile in their shoes.
Try to find the silver lining in those situations where you constantly complain
Try to be part of the solution instead of yanking on everyone's chain.
You’ve turned into the person that you swore you’d never become
Every day you become more of a curmudgeon

Curmudgeon

Link to video where I tell the story behind the song : https://youtu.be/cilXaNM0IoI?si=IbBwc2wlxYTwoADH 


In Catholic school, whenever I misbehaved, the nuns used to pull my hair.
If I could go back in time and do it all again, I’d gab some clippers and shave my head bare.
I did eight years of hard time in Catholic school
I was never the kid who was considered cool
Eight straight years of Catholic School and somehow, I survived
Eight straight years of Catholic School.  Thank God I’m still alive  
My first-grade teacher was a nun, who if you’re penmanship was sloppy
She’d make you take all your books and stand there holding them in the back of the room.
She was like a witch except instead of a pointy hat she wore a habit
She carried a crucifix instead of broom.
I did eight years of hard time in Catholic School
I was never the kid who was considered cool
The cafeteria food tasted horrible, but I had to eat it
I had to wash it down with milk that was warm and sour
I’d try to fold my plate in half and throw it away, but the nuns would catch me and make me eat it
It’s like they had this secret food wasting detection superpower
Every year your birthday, it was customary for the kids in the recess yard,
To grab you and kick you and punch you for every year of your age.
I still have flashbacks of a girl with pointy hard black shoes kicking me really hard in my rib cage.
My fifth-grade teacher Sister Margaret she’d been teaching for way too long
It was time for her to retire but they let her teach another year and that was wrong
She had long grey whiskers growing out of her chin
She’d sit at her desk and trim them with of scissors and you sure as hell better not grin
She’d tell cautionary tales about innocent kids who got into cars strangers
She seemed to enjoy describing all the bloody graphic details of the danger.
I did eight years of hard time in Catholic school
I was never the kid who was considered cool
Eight straight years of Catholic School and somehow, I survived
Eight straight years of Catholic School.  Thank God I’m still alive

Catholic School

Inspired by “The New Colossus” by Emma Lazarus, 1883.
Copyright 2025

They got on boats, and they sailed across the ocean hoping for a better life
They left behind poverty, famine, hardship and strife
She lifted her lamp behind the golden door
She welcomed them with open arms 
But we don’t need those people any more 
We’ll use robots to tend our farms
There’s an angry mob wearing red caps
And they’re pulling on a rope
They’re trying to knock down that statue that gave so many people hope.
They say a rising tide lifts all boats but now it’s every nation for itself
As the billionaires and oligarchs accumulate more wealth
We’re all just living on this rock floating in the vastness of space
You’d think we’d find a way to co-exist as one human race
There’s an angry mob wearing red caps
And they’re pulling on a rope
They’re trying to knock down that statue that gave so many people hope.
Someday if you’re standing there waiting at the pearly gates
With a bunch of other people waiting in line to get into heaven
And you’re filling out God’s paperwork so you can immigrate 
How will answer that question did you love or did you hate 
There are people who call themselves Christians who don’t practice what they preach
They see a man whose down on his luck, and they consider him a human leech
There’s an angry mob wearing red caps
And they’re pulling on a rope
They’re trying to knock down that statue that gave so many people hope.
There’s an angry mob wearing red caps
And they’re pulling on a rope
They’re trying to knock down that statue that gave so many people hope.

Angry Mob Wearing Red Caps

For my sixth birthday for weeks and weeks I begged my dad for a dog
But my dad didn’t think I was responsible enough and he was also kind of cheap
But I kept asking him constantly and finally he broke down
He gave me a little cabbage plant growing in a Styrofoam cup

He said if you take good care of this cabbage plant
Next year I’ll consider buying you a dog

I named him Charlie and I planted him in the flowerbed in the front yard
And every morning I’d go outside, and I’d feed him water and fertilizer
I’d update him on what was going on inside the house
And as far as cabbages go Charlie was a patient listener

Every night before I went to bed
I’d stick my head out the window and say goodnight to Charlie.

Our friendship was more than one of those passing fads
And every day Charlie grew until his head was bigger than my dad’s

And I guess my dad must have noticed too because one crisp autumn afternoon
Me and Charlie were sitting in the flowerbed listening to a baseball game
My dad came outside, and he said to me, it’s time for you to become a man

He reached down and he ripped my best friend Charlie out of the ground
For a couple of seconds, I could see his little roots gasping for soil 
Then we took him in the house and we cleaned and we gutted him

 And I swore that would be the last time I’d ever have a personal relationship
 with a vegetable of the cruciferous type
And as we sat around the table, eating our cabbage soup
It occurred to me I was so glad my dad hadn’t bought be a dog

I dedicate this song to Charlie because he made such a big impression on me
Those months we spent together made me so happy.
I go down the produce aisle at the grocery store.  I see those cabbages and it makes sad
I’m glad for the time we spent together.  Sorry it had to end up so bad.

Charlie (Cabbage Song)

Cast of Characters:
Joe Stroffolino-- @joseph-stroffolino -- Taylor 114ce acoustic guitar, main vocals, harmony vocals, lyrics, composition
Llanpsych -- @llanpsych -- Tez – Epiphone Les Paul electric guitar
K2 and the Three [and the Four]--@k2andthe3, @k2-kara -–Ken–drums and percussion
Entheogenic Psychonaught (Josh Clary)–@josh-clary-1 –- four string Fender Precision Bass, and Roland organ
TexMex Shaman–@texmex-shaman –Stephen– Tom Anderson Custom T electric guitar, mix, mastering, and production

This song began when Joe, feeling a bit nostalgic, wrote the lyrics and composed it on his acoustic guitar. He recorded it and sang it with expert harmonies, then decided to share it with Eclectic Collective. We were all very excited to get work on our second song with Joe, as we all admire his songwriting.
First up was Tez this time, oddly enough. He was able to identify all the fill spots and light up the solo without the rest of us even adding anything yet. Next came Ken, who usually goes first, adding his steady grooving drums and tasty percussion. Once the drums were down, Josh completed the rhythm section by adding his fretted bass. He also worked out an organ part to give the whole sound a bit of thickness. Also adding some thickness and texture, Stephen added a clean electric rhythm part, as well.
Once we had it in can we asked Stephen to mix and produce it for us, which he did in his always expert fashion.
This, as mentioned, is Eclectic Collective's second song with Joe, and we all enjoyed bringing it to life with him. He's a wonderful collaborator and an all around good dude. Do yourself a favor and go check out his page, which is rich in great songs. We hope you enjoy listening to this as much as we enjoyed making it.

Original lyrics by Joe Stroffolino:

If you find yourself in trouble and you think you've lost your way.
Here's hoping that you find a path to a better day.
I sure hope that you're happy. I'm wishing you the best.
I hope you find what you're looking for as you continue on your quest.
I hope you find all the answers to all those questions vexing you.
I hope you can find a way not to bite off more than you can chew.
I sure hope that you're happy. I'm wishing you the best.
I hope you find what you're looking for as you continue on your quest.
You spread your wings and you flew so far away from me.
I hope that you're enjoying your new reality
All those places that you said that you wanted to see.
I hope they're as good as you expected them to be.
I want you to know that you hold a special place in my heart.
I think about you often even though we are apart.
They say that when you love somebody sometimes you gotta be willing to let them go.
You gotta let them spread their wings and fly wherever the wind decides to blow.
I sure hope that you're happy. I'm wishing you the best.
I hope you find what you're looking for as you continue on your quest.
I hope that you're happy. I hope that you're doing well. I sure hope that you're doing swell.You spread your wings and you flew so far away from me.
I hope that you're enjoying your new reality

Hope That You Are Happy (Eclectic Collective with Joe Stroffolino)

https://youtu.be/dLLddlqKIHc?si=wT5hmEY_W3Fp5ZvI 

This is my attempt at performing this song in a single take with just me and my guitar (Taylor 114 ce)
Also to compare and contrast, here’s a  link to a more polished full band version of this song that I recorded with the help of the Eclectic Collective 
https://soundcloud.com/josh-clary-1/ai-sucks-the-eclectic?si=67d29d363d2a419dacbf860fa471165e&utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing
Many thanks to SoundCloud musician Michele Ansani  https://on.soundcloud.com/A24Cig19AVNqQmCk8 who's lyrics inspired me to write this song and collaborated with me to help bring this song to life.
***
Lyrics
When I was thirteen I picked up my first guitar
it was my mother's, it only had one nylon string 
I tried to play it like a rock star
I learned to play the Coca-Cola jingle
So I could teach the world to sing
When I was fourteen, I put on six new strings
I learned to play Beatles, I learned a Bob Dylan song
I sounded out of tune but I tried to carry on
At fifteen I wrote my first original tune 
So bad it sounded like it might have been written by a baboon
When I was sixteen, I got a new guitar for my birthday
The metal strings sawed through my fingers but I continued to play
And as the calluses formed and every day I learned a brand new chord
I was obsessed with that guitar and I never grew bored.
I wrote songs every day and most of them were a mess
But I believed that through hard work, I could achieve success
Malcom Gladwell wrote a book that said it takes ten thousand hours
To become and expert at your craft
And now all it takes is two commands and an enter
And in two minutes you have ten versions of the same damn new song,
You just have to choose the type
folk, rock, rap, pop, metal, jazz, trap or blues.
You don't even need to write the lyrics, 
your push a few buttons let the AI choose.
And people will think your songs are great 
even though you didn’t write or play a single note.
When I was 20, I did my first concert, it was time
it occurred in a village square
there were four cats all friends of mine
I was still using the plectrum and sometimes I got the chords wrong
at thirty I finally wrote what I thought was a decent song
It had a very well thought out structure and a catchy vibe and beat 
It was overly verbose but when I played it people tapped their feet
In my forties I stopped wasting my time
Work was more fun I was doing just fine
I had a steady paycheck that could feed me 
And the record companies didn’t need me
In my fifties once again my musical juices started flowing
I bought the necessary equipment I was eager to get going
I recorded all my strumming and saved it onto my PC
The internet and technology were advancing rapidly
I took those special songs I’d written of which I was most proud
Posted them Instagram, You Tube, Tik Tok and SoundCloud
I asked myself if a tree falls in the forest and no one’s around
Does it make a sound?
But now all it takes is two commands and an enter
And in two minutes you have ten versions of the same damn new song,
You just have to choose the type
folk, rock, rap, pop, metal, jazz, trap or blues.
You don't even need to write the lyrics, 
your push a few buttons let the AI choose.
And people will like your songs even though you didn’t write or play a single note.

AI Sucks Acoustic Live Version

We flush our toilets and it flows into the sea
We go down to the beach and we swim happily
We take our trash and we toss it in a can 
The garbage truck takes it away and where it goes – no one gives a damn
Every day we throw more trash into the pile
Disposable packaging never goes out of style
Every day we exist, we generate more junk
We buy stuff we don’t need, and it ends up the dump
They say one person’s trash is another person’s treasure
But I don’t think used plastic straws are going to give anybody pleasure
They say the average Tom Dick or Harry and even if you’re a girl named Jane
You’re probably walking around with a teaspoon of microplastic in your brain
I separate my paper and plastic into separate bins 
But sometimes I wonder if I’m accomplishing anything
Thousands of years from now, if humans have gone extinct
And aliens dig up our trash, I wonder what they’ll think
Our art and music will be gone but our trash will linger on
The stuff we threw away will be all that’s left of humanity
There’s so much trash in the world today
You’d think by now we’d have found a better way
Civilizations rise and civilizations fall 
And the trash be leave behind will be a gift to future generations from us all
Every year we kick the can farther down the road
Causing more damage to this planet that we’ ve been bestowed
Some people  will tell you don’t worry everything is fine
We’ ve gotta cut the regulations so we can help the bottom line
When you share a bed with a partner they say it’s best to hold in your gas
But when it comes to our stinking trash, we give ourselves a pass

Trash

Cover Art: Wilhelm Grimm (left) and Jacob Grimm (right), portrayed by Elisabeth Jerichau-Baumann (1855) PD-US
Music and Lyrics Copyright 2025 Joe Stroffolino

Hansel and Gretel were abandoned by their parents in the forest all alone.
They stumbled across a delicious looking candy-coated home.  A cannibalistic witch captured them and put them in a cage. Those were the kind of stories they used to tell children at a young age.

The brothers Grim told stories that were a reflection of their time
There was disease famine and poverty and things were not going fine 
We had to sanitize the stories because our modern stomachs are weak
And you’ll get in trouble if you read a book to kids, and it makes them shriek

Three little pigs were in a brick house trying really hard to survive 
The big bad wolf came down the chimney, fell in a pot of water and was boiled alive.
Cinderella’s stepsisters wanted to marry the prince, but they couldn’t fit into her shoes so they chopped off their heels and toes because they had so much to lose 

The brothers Grim told stories that were a reflection of their time
There was disease famine and poverty, and things were not going fine 
Little Red Riding Hood in the bedroom with a wolf dressed in human clothes.
Wondering why her grandmother had sharp teeth and a snout instead of a nose. Jack climbed the beanstalk, there was a giant who wanted to grind up his bones and make some bread. He stole the magic harp and the hen that laid golden eggs and the giant ended up dead

There’s days when you want to take a sheet of tin foil and stick it in your baseball cap
To keep all those negative thoughts from getting in your head and making you a miserable chap
Did it all start when you were a child, and your mother read you that bed time story that perhaps in retrospect may have been a bit too dark and gory

The brothers Grim told stories that were a reflection of their time
There was disease famine and poverty and things were not going fine 
Now we environmental devastation, nuclear weapons and milk that might have bird flu
Just turn on the news you don’t need a fairy tale to put the fear of God in you
But if you take away all the parts that are dark, sick twisted and gory. 
Do you have anything left that actually resembles a good story.
***
Vocals and backing vocals -  Joe Stroffolino 
Guitars - Joe Stroffolino ( 2 Strumming tracks: Taylor 114ce and Fender Squire and I picking track:Taylor114ce)
Bass, Saxophone, Horns: PG Music Real tracks
Piano andi Strings: PG Music and Native Instruments
Drums: EZ drummer 3
Recorded, mixed and mastered with Logic Pro 11

The Brothers Grim

Cover art: Publicity photo of American television host, Chuck Barris promoting the June 14, 1976 premiere of the NBC reality talent show The Gong Show.

The world can be an unpredictable dog eat dog kind of place full of all sorts of all sorts of people who can get under your skin
Sometimes you just have to smile and nod and keep your feelings to yourself and try your best just to just to take it on the chin
And there’s people who seem friendly, but they’ve got a knife in their hand behind their back
And they’re waiting for the right moment to attack
There used to be a TV show, where you could dance or sing a song
and if the judges didn’t like your performance, they would strike a gong
It sure would be nice if you could walk around with a mallet in your hand every day
And you had access to a gong you that you could strike and make annoying people go away
It sure would be nice to have that kind of power
Amateur performers of dubious talent, trying to win a small prize
Five hundred sixteen dollars and 32 cents, You could see the hunger in their eyes
Chuck Barris hosting on that Burbank stage, he knew the people competing were toast
But he smiled and tried to encourage them and be a good friendly host
The dinosaurs ruled the earth for millions of years until the asteroid struck
it was like a giant cosmic gong
Mammals arose from the rubble and now humans rule the earth, but we haven’t been around for nearly so long
We’re all just making it up as we go along hoping somebody doesn’t strike that gong
It sure would be nice if real life was more like that old Gong Show
And you could get a large gong attach it to wheels and take it wherever you go
You could follow in the footsteps of Chuck Barris and be your own gong show emcee
And whenever people start to annoy you -you could strike that gong and make them flee
He wrote a book called Confessions of a Dangerous Mind
Chuck Barris was one of a kind.

The Gong Show

Hey everyone!
This track, Asteroids (The Original Was Better), started when I heard Beating Edge’s chiptune tune RND and got inspired to write some lyrics about the classic arcade game Asteroids. I added my acoustic guitar and vocals on top and sent it over to the band.
They liked it so much they decided to jump in and make a second part with a more rock vibe using the same musical base. We put both parts together into one track, starting with a fun spoken intro, a little vocal line to bridge the two sections, and finishing off with a hilarious outro.
It was a really cool collab and I’m stoked for you all to hear it!

Music by: Beating Edge
Lyrics by: Tom (Beating Edge) and Joe Stroffolino
Performed by: Beating Edge and Joe Stroffolino
Acoustic guitar (Taylor 114ce) by: Joe Stroffolino
Vocals performed by: Joe Stroffolino and Tom (Beating Edge)
At the moment, this track is exclusively available on SoundCloud.
Released on June 6, 2025.
©2025 Beating Edge and Joe Stroffolino

Lyrics:

[Spoken Intro]
Joe: Wow! This is a really cool Arcade!
Tom: Yeah!
Joe: Hey, check it out! Is that an Asteroids game over there?
Tom: Oh, wow!
Joe: I haven't seen that in like that forever!
Tom: That's definitely Asteroids! Let's play a game!
Mary (with a sore throat 🤦🏻‍♀️🤣): Oh yeah! Let's play Asteroids!

-->Joe

I used to play asteroids in the 1980’s
I liked to blow up rocks in outer space
The flying saucers would attack me
At an ever-increasing pace

I stumbled across an old vintage arcade the other day
I hadn’t played Asteroids in a long time
I popped a quarter into that old machine
And I watched my score start to climb

I watched my score start to climb
I watched my score start to climb
I watched my score start to climb

Time goes by so quickly
and playing that game really took me back
To those days when my future was unwritten
And I hadn’t gone so far down my current track

Pushing those buttons so fast and furiously
Standing in front of that arcade machine
Blowing up all those asteroids
On that black and white video screen

Blowing up all those asteroids
On that video screen
Blowing up all those asteroids
On that video screen

For a couple of minutes, I forgot about the present
I was back floating in outer space
Breaking big rocks into small rocks
I had a a big smile on my face

And then it was time for me to go
Cause I had errands that I needed to run
But that old video game
I sure had a lot of fun

It's not over yet

-->Tom

Just a single screen, all black and white
The whole room's dark except the TV's light
Rotate and thrust, it wasn't much
No one had seen a thing like this before

Now there's a 3D holographic thing
That no one plays, 'cause nobody can afford
With a visor on, your body's gone
It's kinda fun, but the original was better

We used to play all day, late at night
For the high score, it was do or die
No one knew what a quarter was worth
No one knew what the future had in store

Now there's a 3D holographic thing
That no one plays, 'cause nobody can afford
With a visor on, your body's gone
It's kinda fun, but the original was better

The original was better
The original was better
The original was better
The original was better

Now there's a 3D holographic thing
That no one plays, 'cause nobody can afford
With a visor on, your body's gone
It's kinda fun, but the original was better

[Spoken Outro]
Someone who wants to stay anonymous 😂: That was a lot of fun!

Asteroids (The Original Was Better) - Beating Edge & Joe Stroffolino

Cover art:  Taylor 114ce and my Peloton

Eating lots of cheese and hotdogs, eating lots of cake. and pie
I wish that I could switch to arugula and beets so I could be a more healthy guy.
It seems like everywhere I look; I see a delicious high calorie treat
But I only have one stomach and there's so much food to eat.
There's a Peloton in my basement, I need to go down there
Cause I. don't like how I look in my underwear
Why can't losing weight be as easy as losing hair.
I step into Starbucks for black coffee and walk out with hot chocolate and a muffin. Sometimes I feel like a teddy bear who's been filled with too much stuffing 
I tell myself that for lunch I'll have a side salad, and I'll skip the dressing but the more that I think about it it starts to feel depressing
there's the peloton in my basement I need to go down there.

If God said to Adam if you eat that fruit, you won't look good in your birthday suit, would he have taken a bite?  Based on my experience I don't think so.
If Moses led his people to the promised land and they found a place where desert was banned, would they have stayed there?  Based on my experience I don't think so.
There’s a Peloton in my basement. I need to go down there. 
I chew on my celery stick and I wish I was eating a French fry and I sip from my bottle of water but I'd rather be drinking a Mai Tai 
every day when I put on my clothes my pants feel a little bit tighter and every time when I step on the scale I realize I'm not getting lighter
There's a Peloton in my basement, I need to go down there
Cause I don't like how I look in my underwear
Why can't losing weight be as easy as losing hair.
Why is the food that tastes the best so unhealthy it's not fair.

Peloton in My Basement 2025 version

There are people who believe you should love your neighbor as yourself
There are people who believe you should share some of your wealth
There are people who believe that only the fittest should survive
And if you’re poor and you’re weak it’s up to you to stay alive
There are people who believe you should teach a man to fish
Instead of giving him all his food in an already cooked dish
There are people who have an empathy deficit
They see people suffering and they don’t care one bit
They wear religion on their sleeves but if you’re in the wrong denomination.  They look at you like you’re an abomination.
People who treat politics the same as a religion and if presented with a new set of facts they don’t even budge a little smidgeon
Billionaires who have enough money where they could end world hunger in one day
Do they see people starving and think it is okay. We’re stronger together than if we are apart
If we could see ourselves as passengers on the same boat that would be a good start
We all share this this tiny rock as it floats through outer space
This planet is the lifeboat for the entire human race
Billionaires who what to create a colony on Mars. Let’s fix things here on earth before we travel to the stars
The world used to be full of undiscovered places but now humans have put footprints everywhere.
The continents touch the same oceans, and we all breathe the same air We live on one planet that we have to share
We’re stronger together than if we are apart
If we could see ourselves as passengers on the same boat that would be a good start
We all share this this tiny rock as it floats through outer space
This planet is the lifeboat for the entire human race. Billionaires who what to create a colony on Mars.   Let’s fix things here on earth before we travel to the stars

Empathy

When I was a kid, I had toys on my brain but now kids today want video games.
***
She says there’s a really overpowered character in in this video game that she likes
There’s a really overpowered character in in this video game that she likes
It’s my favorite game daddy she says please won’t you let me buy it
I say no, no, no, no, no no, no, ten dollars a week that’s too much money to spend
Ten dollars a week five hundred twenty dollars a year
I say no, no, no, no, no no, no, ten dollars a week that’s too much money to spend
Ten dollars a week five hundred twenty dollars a year

When I was a kid I’d ask my parents for toys and a lot of times they’d say no
Cause funds were tight and there were places where the money had to go
And now the shoes on the other foot and I’m starting to understand
I’m not pooping money like Daddy Warbucks
I’m not buying expensive drinks at Starbucks
She keeps wearing me down and there’s only so much I can take
And I know that sooner or later my resolve is going to break
Food clothing and shelter, Maslov had a hierarchy of needs
But if you drill a little bit deeper down into the weeds
There’s lots of other things that we all want
I say no, no, but eventually I’ll give in, cause I’m fighting a battle that I know I just can’t win
I say No no but eventually I’ll give in, cause I’m fighting a battle that I know I just can’t win
I’m fighting a battle that I know I just can’t win

The No No Song

I was on a Virginia recently (DC and Virginia Beach were great) and instead of writing an online review, I was compelled to write a musical review of a less than stellar experience I had at a hotel. Recorded on my iPhone using GarageBand with the vocal song using the basic iPhone earbuds.
I stepped into the hotel. I noticed an unpleasant smell. It was a combination of old cigarettes and mildew. 
I went into my room. I could feel a sense of doom. As I took off my shoes and socks and my bare feet touched the grimy floor. 
Things are not the best at the Best Western, they’re going downhill fast, and I’m trying to pretend the glass is half full. I’m trying really hard to have a nice stay at this hotel. I’m trying not to lose my cool.
There was a peloton in the gym, so I sat on it and tried to login, but the bike wouldn’t work because the Wi-Fi wasn’t connected .
I went back to my room for a shower, and it was like I had a special superpower because when I reached for the handle to turn on the water, it came off in my hand .
Sometimes you can have a little bit of bad luck when you book a cheap room and try to save a buck. You can get angry and sit around and stew or you can break out into a song and write a musical review.

A Musical Hotel Review (GarageBand)

I have been hearing so much AI music lately on SoundCloud and these  thoughts have been percolating with me for a while and finally they coalesced into a song. (created without the use of AI).
***
Vocals & Back Up Vocals: Joe Stroffolino
Guitar Strumming Track:  Joe Stroffolino Taylor 114CE
Drums: EZ Drummer 3
Bass: PG Music Real track
Piano:  EZ Keys2 
Synth Bass: Logic Pro 
***
You got tired of struggling so hard to write a great original song
And then this amazing newfangled technology came along
Now you’re using AI to create music, and it’s a much easier process
And you’re convinced you found the ticket to achieving great success.
You tell yourself you’re a great artist because prompting takes a lot of skill
But deep down you know the AI did most of the work and you swallow the bitter pill
People complement you on your guitar playing and they tell you your voice sounds great
It makes you feel so good but you don’t ever set them straight
Those classic rockers used to write 10 or 12 good songs every couple of years
Now you’re posting two or three songs a day and hoping for a bunch of cheers
You’re rolling the musical dice, hoping you’ll come up with a catchy viral hit 
But there’s so much music flooding the internet that no one gives a shit
You tell yourself you’re a great artist because prompting takes a lot of skill
But deep down you know the AI did most of the work and you swallow the bitter pill
People complement you on your guitar playing and they tell you your voice sounds great, it makes you feel so good but you don’t ever set them straight
Some people believe we’re living in simulation and none of this is real
We’re just digital creations in a computer with the ability to feel
But even if that’s not the case, we’re quickly, heading to a place where no one’s going to be able to tell the difference.
You used strum your guitar, trying to capture lightning in a bottle and the songs that emerged came from you.
And now the songs you write with AI, what they’re saying, you don’t have a clue.
Music used to feel therapeutic, it was a window on your soul that you could share.
But now something feels missing because your songs no longer lay your heart bare.

Prompting Takes A Lot Of Skill

I have been using a CPAP machine for several months.  I am sleeping much better and I decided to take a stab at writing a song about it.  
***
Continuous positive airway pressure (CPAP) therapy is a common treatment for obstructive sleep apnea. A CPAP machine uses a hose connected to a mask or nosepiece to deliver constant and steady air pressure to help you breathe while you sleep.
***
Copyright 2025
Vocals, Lyrics and Chords: Joe Stroffolino
Guitars:  Joe Stroffolino: Taylor 114ce (two guitar strumming tracks) and Fender Squire Picking track
Drums:  Programmed using EZ drummer 3
Bass:  Pg Music Midi track with .vst sound from Native instruments Rickenbacker
Organ: Joe Stroffolino: Playing Midi Keyboard with vintage B3 Organ sound from Logic Pro
***
Cover art:  Real (Non-AI) Photo of a Halloween Skeleton wearing my actual CPAP mask  (I was going to take a picture of me wearing the mask but believe it or not, the skeleton looks more attractive) 
****
CPAP Lyrics: 
I was snoring, so I had a sleep study, and they gave me a CPAP machine
It took a bit of getting used to, it was uncomfortable at first, but now it’s part of my nightly routine
When I first put on that CPAP mask, I tried to pretend I was like Darth Vader, part man and part machine, but actually I look more l like Jason in that hockey mask on Friday the thirteenth
The doctor said if I don’t wear that mask, I’ll be gasping for breath all night long and I know I’d better keep wearing it, if I want my heart and brain to stay strong.  I just wish I looked a little bit more sexy while I was wearing it.
Every night when I go to bed I wear a mask that covers my mouth and my nose and on the top of my head, connected to the mask, there’s a big, long hose.
They say when it comes to romance, you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover 
 But something about that CPAP mask makes me thinks it’s goanna be hard to find myself a new lover.
The doctor said if I don’t wear that mask, I’ll be gasping for breath all night long and I know I’d better keep wearing it, if I want my heart and brain to stay strong. I just wish I looked a little bit more sexy while I was wearing it.
Sometime you gotta try to put things in perspective
Sometimes you gotta try to be a little bit more objective
Sometimes you just gotta put function over form
Sometimes you gotta be willing to deviate from the norm
The doctor said if I don’t wear that mask, I’ll be gasping for breath all night long and I know I’d better keep wearing it, if I want my heart and brain to stay strong.
I know it’s very important to follow all the proper medical advice and I have every intention to keep using my CPAP device.  I just wish I looked a little bit more sexy while I was wearing it.

CPAP

👉We are an eclectic band that blends elements of electronic dance, metal, pop, punk, rock, synth wave and more to create a unique and engaging sound We're a bunch of very shy aliens🛸 (4 males 💁🏻‍♂️🙎‍♂️🙋🏼‍♂️🦸🏼‍♂️ and 1 female🙅‍♀️, the guitarist/backup singer). Our earthly names (and nicknames) are Tom ("Lucifer" - lead vocals and occasional keyboards/guitar), Mary ("Vampira" or just "V" - guitarist and backing vocals), Mauro ("Maux" - keyboards, piano, synths and winds), Davide ("Dave", "Quiet D" or just "D" - bass and synth bass), and Valerio ("Brad", drums and percussions). 
Enjoy the music!😉
🔗https://ffm.bio/beatingedge

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