Benedixhion

always on my own

NITELIFE

like my love is yours to use
make me go insane
i be fucked up in my brain
oh my god
oh my god
can’t be saved
what the fuck
oh my god
oh my god
can’t be saved
outta luck
fuck
oh my god
oh my god
can't be
outta luck
fuck
yuh yuh

what’s she drinking
shit she’s fienin
don’t worry bout it baby
pass me up another cup
cuz i’m not lit enough
party like it’s 2008
glitter all over the place

i’m a night owl
sleeping in the day
up all night with shawty getting geeked
i’m feeling wavy
i don’t think that ima ever stop
no one can save me
no one can save me
im stuck in my ways
life is jus a game 
and i’m here to fuckin play
play ay
life is just a game
and i’m here to play
ay

i don’t wanna talk right now 
staring at the ceiling
too much acid got me freaked out

2008 w/ ifeelsosmall

Lyrics: 

[Intro]
Ohh
Ever since you left me, my brain has been against me
Wish I could erase all of the memories
If I left the world tonight, would you even miss me?
I'ma turn up missin'

[Verse 1]
I'ma go M.I.A, I'ma turn up missin'
Disappear from everything, now I'm really distant
Born into this system, my brain is like a prison
Wish I could escape it, the darkness in my vision
The demons in my orbit; they take all my light source
Nothing left to fight for, I cry until my eyes sore
Smoke until I'm so high, don't feel like a life form
Egodeath the 3rd time, died again, I'm reborn
They tell me "be happy, just be glad it happened"
But my brain is fuckin' crackin' from chemical reactions
I know that I'm fucked up, the chemicals imbalanced
Probably from the acid, I feel like I'm Alice

[Chorus]
It feel like a science experiment in my mind
Take myself far away and leave it all behind
Tell me I'ma make it, but I know I'm wasting time
Death is like a ride, take a ticket wait in line
See rap shows near Madison
Get tickets as low as $25
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​forever in my mind
​hamilton
CARNIVAL
¥$, Kanye West, Ty Dolla $ign & Rich The Kid
Mockingbird
Eminem
[Interlude]
Ohh
It feel like a science experiment in my mind
Take myself far away and leave it all behind
Tell me I'ma make it, but I know I'm wasting time
Death is like a ride, take a ticket wait in line
Take a ticket wait in line
Death is like a ride, take a ticket wait in line
Take a ticket wait in line
Death is like a ride, take a ticket wait in line
It feel like a science experiment in my mind
Take myself far away and leave it all behind
Tell me I'ma make it, but I know I'm wasting time
Death is like a ride, take a ticket wait in line

[Verse 2]
I feel like I'm useless more than fucking ever
Ask me when I'm happy, probably fucking never
I don't wanna feel the pain but I'm stuck in memories
Remember all the awful things you would fucking say to me?
Damaged me emotionally, and socially, and physically
Left me all alone to rot in my own misery
Now I'm just a husk of who I once was
Laying on my bed, I know I'm not enough
Drown in my tears and I drown in the smoke
My life is a nightmare, I hope I overdose
I love to get numb, I can't fucking help it
Mama, I'm sorry, I know that I'm selfish
Selfish— Mama, I'm sorry, I know that I'm selfish
Also I'm useless and helpless, my dreams are all fading
I'm living my life like a death wish

Hammy - Stuck In Memories

shawty said she love me but she hate me
I'm like fuck you bitch 
like whyd you even wanna date me
oh duh
you jus want tha fucking clout
im like fuck off
i keep going like im running on a race track
lil shawty if u love me then jus call my phone
i dont wanna go thru all this shit alone


relapse

prod. @siemspark x @hiiidrax x @darkoivx 
(Lyrics)

They said bruh how you did it like that, i just told em go look up the stats, ima blow up this year for me, i aint lyin to yall it’s just fax. i been independent for a while bitch, its time that i stood out the crowd, i aint never had to steal no style just off the flow ive been leaving em wowed.


They know 16 different (huh), i just gotta different vision (yea), just for you it isn’t vivid (yea) so thats why im never trippin (yea) tell me how im in the wrong, when i tried to put you on ( yuh ) you aint stand up to your bond (yea) best believe im movin on

i aint never had this much money, i dont know what do to with it, everybody tryna play funny cuz that know that its who winnin? i aint never had so many chains, this the lifestyle im livin’ , shouldnt try to play me like a lame, you just mad im self driven,

Come on lets go i did it again i know that you mad fasho, Come on lets go i did it again i know that you mad fasho, Come on lets go she wanna hop in cuz im not your average joe, Come on lets go she wanna hop in cuz im not your average joe  

They said bruh how you did it like that, i just told em go look up the stats, ima blow up this year for me, i aint lyin to yall it’s just fax. i been independent for a while, bitch. its time that i stood out the crowd, i aint never had to steal no style just off the flow ive been leaving em wowed.

They know 16 different (huh), i just gotta different vision (yea), just for you it isn’t vivid (yea) so thats why im never trippin (yea) tell me how im in the wrong, when i tried to put you on ( yuh ) you aint stand up to your bond (yea) best believe im movin on

Different Vision

Mala ft.alanfck

[prod. Dee B]
prod by Dee B bought with lease

Storm in my heart let it snow
Never gonna trust another hoe
Told you not to hit me on my phone
Im a let it ring watch me ghost
X2

Working long nights imma show you
How im bout be legend like im sposed to
Mama you aint here wish i could show you
People love to hate me but thats old news  

Storm in my heart let it snow
Everyone around me say im cold
Money make me feel more  
Guess i gotta make it on my own

Thats cool, 
Im thru
Wit u 
Its true
Bands blue
New shoes
Switch lanes
On you

Storm in my heart let it snow
Never gonna trust another hoe
Told you not to hit me on my phone
Im a let it ring watch me ghost
X2

Let it snow i think im 
Getting cold it gets so 
Late so quick
They start to hate so quick x2

Storm in my heart let it snow
Never gonna trust another hoe
Told you not to hit me on my phone
Im a let it ring watch me ghost

snow

soundcloud.com/joel-villagran
soundcloud.com/iofmusic

& it was dark outside lastnight
i can’t remember were you there or had i closed my eyes?
a constant wreck i think i lost my mind
was that a recollection i made out of what i’d like?
& it’s so hard to get inside so tight
it’s not apparent to you number of the times i tried
& now i guess it finally comes to light 
i couldn’t see it even if it's only just a mile

i remember how it felt the way that you left 
it wasn't shit to me compared to what you'd do next
how you'd pretend you never cared & tried to prove it 
so why'd you do it?

make believe i wasn't there to keep from losing
run away you know you're scared to face the music
so what’s here left of me just take it you can use it
i won’t get through it 
i cut the loose end

xxajii:

every night it’s been keeping me up
every day got me losing my touch
you shoot me down & you sit there fine with it
i wasn’t sure if we would make it to the end
i’m barely needing you tonight 
don’t think we’ll make it out alive
cut by mistakes, hung out to dry
if you don’t mean it, don’t apologize
i won’t make you choose what you have to do
if i don’t have you, what is left to prove

Lastnight w/ Xxajii (prod. IOF)

capoxxo: https://soundcloud.com/capoxxo

lyrics:
who am i to judge
baby, yeah i know
i was freaking out
when you called my phone
i have nowhere to go
i smoke lots of dope
fucked up everything
it's so hard to take it slow
i cannot take your lies
i'm so damn hypnotized
and you're so beautiful
but i spark blunts to the skies
baby you know
we can do drugs in the skylights

i don't know
lil shawty, could you tell me where to go
i don't know if i can make it without you
if you love me then just tell me that you do
sick of feeling blue

there's nothing left of me
i think of it frequently
baby, if you don't hate me
why couldn't you just believe in me
you just came out of nowhere
and stole my heart, that shit's thievery
and you stayed for a while
i wonder what you could see in me

i wonder what you could see in me
i still wonder why you're leaving me
and i just wish we were meant to be
but i'll just fade in your memories
i just wanted something real
instead you gave me a fantasy
and there's nothing in that pill
i'll smoke my way back to sanity
not someone you want
i just fed into your vanity
just something to flaunt
guess it's a tragic reality

spotify <3

deaded w/ capoxxo [prod. 5v & odece]

i don’t think that i can change 
lately i been feeling stuck inside my ways
pretty sure my life is just a fucking waste
yeah
maybe i should go ahead and throw it all away

sick of life 
i wonder what’s after
i’m a fuck up
i’m a disaster
i wish that i would die faster
restless nights, could use dreamcatcher oh
‘cause you left me all alone
never even met you, only saw you on my phone
yeah
i still miss you on the low
i cannot stop thinking bout the day that you went ghost
yeah

so i’ll make it on my own
i don’t need you anymore, it’s time for me to go
yeah
all these girls are tryna hit this
they don’t really want me, but my name is on they hit lists
damn
so i think it’s time to dip bitch
i been chasing after my dreams
and yes i’ll risk it
you best get up out my way
i’m on a mission
you always got sum to say
but never listen

would you hold me close
i can’t let you go
you already know
how i feel bout you

spotify

dreamcatcher [prod. ahnboi]

popped off
yeah i did it
i been making smoking weed and making music for a living
goddamn
i split designer on my fit bitch
i been tryna cope by spending thousands on my wrist it’s
lit
and lately i been on my mischief shit
cuz i been really tryna make it big
i wish i wasn’t such a misfit kid
i’m always bleeding so my wrist stay slit

these drugs may have cost my soul but it’s worth it to me boo 
so i’m over it
cocaine in the bathroom stall like it’s 1982 took two lines n dipped

she hates what i have become
and i hate that i am so damn numb 
i pack my bong and fill up my lungs 
lately i been feelin so gone
i wish that i would just die
‘cause i’m already dying inside
i hate this world i hate my damn life
might just end it all tonight
don’t waste your time on me 
i wish that you could see
we just aren’t meant to be
i guess that you should leave

listen on spotify <3

nineteen82 [prod. number48]

feels like love but i know it isn’t
i’m so damn numb who’m i kidding
i hate life i wish that i didn’t
i’m poppin percs just to fix it
but i know that i’ll never fit in
an outlier to the human race
i’m a lost soul and i’m drifting
i wish that i could just be erased
i hate the me that i have become
i’m just a fiend and i need more drugs
off a thirty i’m so fucked up
i’m running out i best hit the plug
i took a journey with no way back ay
i got money i’m chasing so ima make that ay
she jus pass me a swisher so ima face that ay
if you ain’t talkin benjis then just get outta my face
please let me lie here
i wanna die here
i’m so sick of this life
i wanna give into my fears

pain in my head guess i’m broken
i’m already dead they don’t notice

its2much [prod. zach sutton]

let me die
i don’t really know what the point in life is
everybody knows that we won’t survive
i jus wanna go shawty i can’t fight this
always on my page but you never like
it’s fake
you ain’t really love me
that’s great
i been counting up my bankroll 
all day
i been drowning in my problems
let’s escape

i been in my bag
and i ain’t stoppin bitch
i love poppin tags
so i been shopping
i don’t understand
girl what’s your problem now
you make me feel dead
cuz you’re a toxin bitch
i already know your love is counterfeit
pretty sure she hates me but she loves my fits 
strung out on the daily but these drugs are bliss
i don’t wanna live i’m fucking done with this
i don’t know what i should do
i’m lost and missing you
i wish it wasn’t true
what the fuck am i gun do
oh whoa
i’m just dying in my room
oh no
i keep falling for you boo

why’s my mind feel like it’s a prison
i don’t understand
i just wanna life that’s worth living
won’t you hold my hand

toxin [prod. thatboineco]

thanks for 10k <3
prod. @prodjody

tired and tied down
i need you like right now
stuck in my own head
i can’t find the way out

too far gone
can’t save me
these drugs keep me steady
my heart gets so heavy
a ghost i’m nobody at all

feel like i don’t exist
and you’re my only fix
i got a thing for you
i want you in my room

feel like i’m made of glass
watch me break in half
weight up on my back
is slowly crushing me

fight for my sanity
everyday suffer silently
devil inside of me
but your touch feeling heavenly
it feels like ecstasy
bringing my feelings back to me
but ice cold in my heart
is all i’ll ever be

and your face in my dreams
is all i ever see
when i’m awake
my brains filled with anxiety

tired and tied down
i need you like right now
stuck in my own head
i can’t find the way out

too far gone
can’t save me
these drugs keep me steady
my heart gets so heavy
a ghost i’m nobody at all

nobody at all (prod. jody)

i don’t know what the fuck to do
i’m off the drugs and missing you

you said that you need me but you didn’t
you only ever stayed so you could leave me
what’s the difference
i been feeling like i’m drowning with these drugs inside my system
i can’t write a song if i’m not vibing off a benzo
hello
you just played a game and then you left me
now you see i’m up and you been acting way too friendly
got no time for fakes cuz bitch i know your just pretending
want me cuz i’m poppin
like a semi automatic
lying in my coffin
since you left me bitch it’s tragic
yuh
now my minds just full of static
yuh
i’m alone on my own planet
yuh
i don’t know
i don’t know what the fuck to do
i’m off the drugs and missing you
hit up my plug and tie the noose
i don’t give a fuck i’m too removed
i’m so removed
oh whoa
i just needed you
but you left me who
yeah you left me who

idk wtf to do [prod. lil buscuit]

benedixhion

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