cocaine in the bathroom stall like it's 1982

Benedixhion

my brains full of anxiety
i popped 5 xans but i still can’t sleep
there’s nothing left of me 
so let me rest in peace
i jus dropped a grand on a fit
i’ve spent way more on all this xanax
it sucks
life hurts i’ve had enough
i can’t cope without drugs

all i need is you and thats true
fuck a squad and fuck a crew
 ima do what ima do
and bitch i’m making moves
i don’t know 
where the fuck i’m sposed to go
i been lost and on my own
cuz this whole live’s a lonely road

anxious666 [prod. sciptix]

Featuring @kaiyko
Produced by @horoshavibes & @splashgvng

LYRICS
I know I fucked up real bad and I can't win you back now
I look straight ahead but I don't see a way out of this
Turns out the vow that we made
Didn't mean anything to you anyway

Now everything just seems meaningless to me
I meant it when I said 'til death so let me rest in peace
I know I fucked up
Blame it on my bad luck
There no more bad blood
It's only love

So when you look back do you do so with tenderness
Or am I just another memory that you repress

(Kaiyko)
I wait for you to come around to say
The things I've already heard before
So tell me what's new
Got a broken heart and nothin left to lose
I know 
You're doin okay
But I am always
Thinkin' of ways to
Get right back to you
But it's too late too late
Gotta get back home to our places
Not sure if I can make it
But I will tell you I would take it all for you
If we could take it all back too
Even if it's all even if it's all for you

Listen on Spotify!

I Meant It When I Said ‘Til Death, so Let Me Rest in Peace w/ Kaiyko (Prod. Horosha & splashgvng)

shawty said she love me but she hate me
I'm like fuck you bitch 
like whyd you even wanna date me
oh duh
you jus want tha fucking clout
im like fuck off
i keep going like im running on a race track
lil shawty if u love me then jus call my phone
i dont wanna go thru all this shit alone


relapse

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Nm_Vi6wx4g

@2012gen

i been waiting right there
i know thats its hard
but i trust tht u'll make it thru
i know that ur strong
way stronger than me
after all i put u through..

was i ever enough
for u
or not
but ive been counting down the days when
ill finally be right there with u
again
we'll pick up the all the pieces and start again
but only if its right
cause i dont wanna hurt u
again

make it thru [MV IN DESC]

Escape Plan .wav

[prod. jakkyboi]

mixed by me and Brody Mixing

prom night
Living life 
You and I 
white pills
Gettin high
In the moonlight

You and i 
Didnt ask to be born x2

So we 

Live it up
Live it up and give it up x4

(i was) Always ignored like the shit i see through
I still dont know what it means to be cool
Everyones been mean to me since preschool
If you know just how i feel i feel you 

Bore me
Hate me 
I dont care
Fuck school
Fuck you 
And your dumb friends

Glowing up
Blowing up 
Against all odds
Said im a failure
But you work the desk job

Acting like they hate you but they really on that fake shit
Staring at the ceiling wondering if imma make it
Lost inside her eyes pretty baby make me anxious
Trapped inside myself i dont think that i can take this

 
So we

Live it up
Live it up and give it up x8

Dont come back again
Dont act like we’re friends
Summer innocence
Live before we’re dead

Live it up and give it up
x4

live before we're dead

live it up

soundcloud.com/joel-villagran
soundcloud.com/iofmusic

& it was dark outside lastnight
i can’t remember were you there or had i closed my eyes?
a constant wreck i think i lost my mind
was that a recollection i made out of what i’d like?
& it’s so hard to get inside so tight
it’s not apparent to you number of the times i tried
& now i guess it finally comes to light 
i couldn’t see it even if it's only just a mile

i remember how it felt the way that you left 
it wasn't shit to me compared to what you'd do next
how you'd pretend you never cared & tried to prove it 
so why'd you do it?

make believe i wasn't there to keep from losing
run away you know you're scared to face the music
so what’s here left of me just take it you can use it
i won’t get through it 
i cut the loose end

xxajii:

every night it’s been keeping me up
every day got me losing my touch
you shoot me down & you sit there fine with it
i wasn’t sure if we would make it to the end
i’m barely needing you tonight 
don’t think we’ll make it out alive
cut by mistakes, hung out to dry
if you don’t mean it, don’t apologize
i won’t make you choose what you have to do
if i don’t have you, what is left to prove

Lastnight w/ Xxajii (prod. IOF)

capoxxo: https://soundcloud.com/capoxxo

lyrics:
who am i to judge
baby, yeah i know
i was freaking out
when you called my phone
i have nowhere to go
i smoke lots of dope
fucked up everything
it's so hard to take it slow
i cannot take your lies
i'm so damn hypnotized
and you're so beautiful
but i spark blunts to the skies
baby you know
we can do drugs in the skylights

i don't know
lil shawty, could you tell me where to go
i don't know if i can make it without you
if you love me then just tell me that you do
sick of feeling blue

there's nothing left of me
i think of it frequently
baby, if you don't hate me
why couldn't you just believe in me
you just came out of nowhere
and stole my heart, that shit's thievery
and you stayed for a while
i wonder what you could see in me

i wonder what you could see in me
i still wonder why you're leaving me
and i just wish we were meant to be
but i'll just fade in your memories
i just wanted something real
instead you gave me a fantasy
and there's nothing in that pill
i'll smoke my way back to sanity
not someone you want
i just fed into your vanity
just something to flaunt
guess it's a tragic reality

spotify <3

deaded w/ capoxxo [prod. 5v & odece]

i don’t think that i can change 
lately i been feeling stuck inside my ways
pretty sure my life is just a fucking waste
yeah
maybe i should go ahead and throw it all away

sick of life 
i wonder what’s after
i’m a fuck up
i’m a disaster
i wish that i would die faster
restless nights, could use dreamcatcher oh
‘cause you left me all alone
never even met you, only saw you on my phone
yeah
i still miss you on the low
i cannot stop thinking bout the day that you went ghost
yeah

so i’ll make it on my own
i don’t need you anymore, it’s time for me to go
yeah
all these girls are tryna hit this
they don’t really want me, but my name is on they hit lists
damn
so i think it’s time to dip bitch
i been chasing after my dreams
and yes i’ll risk it
you best get up out my way
i’m on a mission
you always got sum to say
but never listen

would you hold me close
i can’t let you go
you already know
how i feel bout you

spotify

dreamcatcher [prod. ahnboi]

popped off
yeah i did it
i been making smoking weed and making music for a living
goddamn
i split designer on my fit bitch
i been tryna cope by spending thousands on my wrist it’s
lit
and lately i been on my mischief shit
cuz i been really tryna make it big
i wish i wasn’t such a misfit kid
i’m always bleeding so my wrist stay slit

these drugs may have cost my soul but it’s worth it to me boo 
so i’m over it
cocaine in the bathroom stall like it’s 1982 took two lines n dipped

she hates what i have become
and i hate that i am so damn numb 
i pack my bong and fill up my lungs 
lately i been feelin so gone
i wish that i would just die
‘cause i’m already dying inside
i hate this world i hate my damn life
might just end it all tonight
don’t waste your time on me 
i wish that you could see
we just aren’t meant to be
i guess that you should leave

listen on spotify <3

nineteen82 [prod. number48]

feels like love but i know it isn’t
i’m so damn numb who’m i kidding
i hate life i wish that i didn’t
i’m poppin percs just to fix it
but i know that i’ll never fit in
an outlier to the human race
i’m a lost soul and i’m drifting
i wish that i could just be erased
i hate the me that i have become
i’m just a fiend and i need more drugs
off a thirty i’m so fucked up
i’m running out i best hit the plug
i took a journey with no way back ay
i got money i’m chasing so ima make that ay
she jus pass me a swisher so ima face that ay
if you ain’t talkin benjis then just get outta my face
please let me lie here
i wanna die here
i’m so sick of this life
i wanna give into my fears

pain in my head guess i’m broken
i’m already dead they don’t notice

its2much [prod. zach sutton]

Hammy - Saw You In a Picture

let me die
i don’t really know what the point in life is
everybody knows that we won’t survive
i jus wanna go shawty i can’t fight this
always on my page but you never like
it’s fake
you ain’t really love me
that’s great
i been counting up my bankroll 
all day
i been drowning in my problems
let’s escape

i been in my bag
and i ain’t stoppin bitch
i love poppin tags
so i been shopping
i don’t understand
girl what’s your problem now
you make me feel dead
cuz you’re a toxin bitch
i already know your love is counterfeit
pretty sure she hates me but she loves my fits 
strung out on the daily but these drugs are bliss
i don’t wanna live i’m fucking done with this
i don’t know what i should do
i’m lost and missing you
i wish it wasn’t true
what the fuck am i gun do
oh whoa
i’m just dying in my room
oh no
i keep falling for you boo

why’s my mind feel like it’s a prison
i don’t understand
i just wanna life that’s worth living
won’t you hold my hand

toxin [prod. thatboineco]

thanks for 10k <3
prod. @prodjody

tired and tied down
i need you like right now
stuck in my own head
i can’t find the way out

too far gone
can’t save me
these drugs keep me steady
my heart gets so heavy
a ghost i’m nobody at all

feel like i don’t exist
and you’re my only fix
i got a thing for you
i want you in my room

feel like i’m made of glass
watch me break in half
weight up on my back
is slowly crushing me

fight for my sanity
everyday suffer silently
devil inside of me
but your touch feeling heavenly
it feels like ecstasy
bringing my feelings back to me
but ice cold in my heart
is all i’ll ever be

and your face in my dreams
is all i ever see
when i’m awake
my brains filled with anxiety

tired and tied down
i need you like right now
stuck in my own head
i can’t find the way out

too far gone
can’t save me
these drugs keep me steady
my heart gets so heavy
a ghost i’m nobody at all

nobody at all (prod. jody)

ion really get it
i don’t know
if it’s ending or beginning
you can go
i won’t even feel a difference
lil bitch
i jus want some ice to flood out my wrists
give a fuck about a price ion really give a shit
ion really give a fuck cuz 
i can’t
i feel so alone in
my head 
ion really got no feelings
i’m dead
bitch i jus pulled up
so high
been poppin pillies to survive
off a thirty i’m still hurting
what’s the reason i’m alive

i feel so dead
in the head
watch me fuck it up again
ima disappoint my friends
i can’t help it
i’m selfish
i want it all to end
yuh 
a fatal zen
yuh
already dead
you can blame the percocets
yuh
i got problems on problems
i don’t know how to solve em
i hate the life that i’m living
too many pills i look livid

nineteen82 [prod. number48]

benedixhion

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