Black Iris

3rd vinyl

I think I'm going to hell
I didn't plan to
My intentions were good
My attention, not so much

I'm going to hell
My road is paved
With all the things I said I'd do
But never got around to
Haven't seen an off-ramp for most of 40 years.

I never sold my soul, as near as I recall
But I'm assured there are many paths to hell
I know I've declared some things
That then never happened
Haven't seen an off-ramp for most of 40 years

There was so much I intended
That just never came to pass
When logic and reason failed me
The devil, himself, stood ready to lend a hand


I'm going to hell
My road is paved
With all the things I said I'd do
But never got around to
Haven't seen an off-ramp for most of 40 years.

There was so much I intended
That just never came to pass
And when I felt myself faltering
The devil, himself, stood ready to lend a hand
And now I'm going to hell...

I'm Going To Hell

I dreamed I woke up
In a place I do not know
An unfamiliar body
With people I don't know
They claim to be my family
Who am I to know?

Even the gods will someday be forgotten
I wonder how many gods we've lost in this way?
Who's to say?

I may never know 
if what I do changes anything
I know if I do nothing
Then I'm the one who's changed

Those thoughts, unspoken
Were not difficult to hear
And what we hear
Is often never meant that way

Forgotten Gods

There are those who read the weather
Looking for signs and omens
Cold is seeping through the floor
Stalking me (especially my feet)

I am the cavalry
No one's riding to save me
I'm the adult now
There's no one coming to rescue me

Threw myself into a prism
To show myself in another light
I don't need to be the first or the best
As long as I'm ok...

I am the cavalry
No one's riding to save me
I'm the adult now
No one's coming to rescue me

No One's Coming

I have a calendar that's full of empty space
A hot shower fits me better than any clothes I own
Habit is the enemy of my deliberate thought
Caught in the struggle between memory and expectation
da da da da da da
da da da da da da

I know
that I'm just
an ordinary guy
Facing all the things
that everybody faces every day
Every day

I did not sleep alone for most of 40 years
And now I only sleep (when I sleep)
alone and lonely each and every night, it's not right

Now 40 years of family noise has faded away
I can hear the tick tock of my digital clock
I know every house noise and its source
Especially in the dark...

I know
that I'm just
an ordinary guy
Facing all the things
that everybody faces every day
Every day
credits

Every Day V2

Just a couple of years ago
We all agreed on basic facts
Science had respect
People weren't so easily confused
We've backslid 50 years
Nowhere is agreement any more

Threat of murder on 5th Avenue
Can't tell now
what's up or down
In or out
Murder on 5th Avenue 
I don't know what's right or wrong any more


You're in til you're out
Day is night
Up is down
You are til you're not
happy or sad
The world is a thousand shades of gray

Murder on 5th Avenue
Can't tell now
what's up or down
In or out
Murder on 5th Avenue 
I don't know what's right or wrong any more

Murder On 5th Ave

I think I just fell into a hole
And I can't find my way out
The reason I'm hurting is I'm still existing
Not looking to die, I just don't care to live

Some days I just want to go home
But there is no home, no place where I belong
I'm homesick for a house
That isn't mine anymore

Gravity feels like it's seeking me out
Makes me heavy, numb, and dumb
Pulling my energy away from me
It's no wonder I feel cold

The light at the end of the tunnel, extinguished...
No relief on the way, just more of the same
But I'm still here, and the darkness won't win
I've made it this far, may as well keep going

Gravity feels like it's seeking me out
Makes me heavy, numb, and dumb
Pulling my energy away from me
It's no wonder I feel old

Numb

I don't like being alone
But I hate being with people more
Wanting to go out
But happy to stay home

Waiting for the day to end
With no special reason why
Sometimes I'm angry with the sun
Taunting me with its shine

I've been socially distant
since way before the plague
Rather read a book than attend a party
Trying to sleep a lot - awake is SO exhausting

Knowing what you need to be happy
Does not make doing it any easier
And things we WANT to do
Often don't deliver happy...

I've been socially distant
since way before the plague
Rather read a book than attend a party
Trying to sleep a lot - awake is SO exhausting

Exhausting

I've tried to always think the best
But I am often disappointed
When I am feeling charitable
I'll sometimes admit I've made mistakes

Things I've done that I regret
And all those things I never did
I regret those too
Things I can't unbreak
I'm reaching the edge of what I think I know
I'm approaching the point
Where there is no point anymore...

I've done things I never should have done
Either stupid or hazardous, or some mixture of both
But sometimes I learned
And mostly won't do it again

Things I've done that I regret
And all those things I never did
I regret those too
Things I can't unbreak
I'm reaching the edge of what I think I know
I'm approaching the point
Where there is no point anymore...

Regrets

Time is for memories
One way to realize it's moving past
Those who don't respect it
Just fritter it away
Like sand running through the glass

We mark time with videos and photographs
And smells and sounds and visions of the past
Things that we've experienced 
in some way once before

I'm not waiting anymore
I've had so much time
And now there's none to waste

The passage of time is invisible to most
One moment to the next, and then it's gone
Life sometimes turns on the smallest of decisions
Time is often measured by the things we've left behind

We know time by the things we most remember
And sometimes those things we'd rather forget
Life often changes in quite ordinary ways
Makes it easy to forget

I'm not waiting anymore
I've had so much time
And now there's none to waste

Every Day V2

Blunt Objects