non-profit

mix. @ztope

w/ dxnny, cyzun

Aye tell me where the fuck do I go
late night drives I don’t miss my home I
Ever need you hoe eighteen years never learned
to cope smoke my dope drink my Drink
You ant ever care so I numb this pain ima
end up froze from the thoughts in my brain
Yeah you always said you cared but you never came
Yeah I’m spiting off the top like a halo
All these people want sum so I lay low
Yeah I smoke on my own but I’m good
Tho yeah im living but I’m dying like death Row

dxnny-

gettin me a bag like wall street
Said im pullin up to the function
You got cold feet
blow up my phone on the text, or snap
how the fuck we gonna chat when you act like you dont know me
Uh
only thing thats got my back
Leaf that i stack 12 grams in the bag
uh
i just got my life on track
Music blowing up now she want me back
Whats up with that
sending mix signals
But got no damn signal to call me back
keeping me up an insomniac
play with feelings like “we connect”
Why do you lie through your teeth everyday of the week
you’re destroying my consciousness
You’re destroying my consciousness

cyzun-

You never came
Taking these pills to my brain
Drinkin to numb all the pain
And I wish that I could get away but the thoughts in my head got me drained
We’re not the same
You said I love you but it was all fake
why did stay, fuck out the way
Holding my heart as it rots and decays
Cause I don’t wanna talk right now
Wanna Pull out the strap and blow my brain right out
Lay in the pool of my blood
As I’m fading in and out
Can’t wait to see all black and
Never have to feel it out
I hope you’re happy now

detached w/ dxnny, cyzun (astrid)

a mutual sickness report

love you ryan<3 talk to you soon.
beat prod by: wisssery x nihil
written and performed by: popularreject

Ryan's song (p. wisssery x nihil)

If theres one thing for certain
Its time 
Time Will kill us all in the end
Death is the only thing thats guaranteed in our lifetimes
And we cant take that for granted
We must embrace it and take it it all in 
Embrace
The end

Why do i
just Sit back and wait for the moment to tell you 
Im not fine
But i promise it wont be your fault when i end my

Why do i
just Sit back and wait for the moment to tell you 
Im not fine
But i promise it wont be your fault when i end my
Fucking life
All of this weight on my shoulders is too much
For my mind
And body to handle ill never be alright

I promise i wont be okay tho
All of the words gettin twisted around and my head is a fuckin tornado
I wanna say how i feel but i promised you thats a promise i cant break tho
When i turn up on the side of the road i just know someones takin my place oh

All these people round me
Make me feel like im a zombie
I cant tell you bout what i see
Cuz the demons gonna haunt me

and they tell me a prodigy
thats something i could mever be
the bright side i could never see
so this gon be the death of me

Why do i
just Sit back and wait for the moment to tell you 
Im not fine
But i promise it wont be your fault when i end my
Fucking life
All of this weight on my shoulders is too much
For my mind
And body to handle ill never be alright

Why do i
just Sit back and wait for the moment to tell you 
Im not fine
But i promise it wont be your fault when i end my
Fucking life
All of this weight on my shoulders is too much
For my mind
And body to handle ill never be alright

time is nothing but relentless

time is nothing but relentless (santana)

@strivemusicau
@shizukesaaa
@autumndropsdead
@torvamia

(strivesad)
Caught in a cage with this endless pain
caught up to my age now I’m getting paid
Depression stays high and now the feelings changed
pour another bottle all apon my grave

you’ve been building roads
I’m building settlements

I keep craving another fucking serotonin hit
let’s flip the script

I don’t need no alliby
come with me and stay the night
Fighting for my life I think I’m doing fine

Ripped clothes now I’m going home
got these problems cause I feel alone
keep me in my zone

(shizu)
beamer swerving 
cuz i deserve the worst shit
bet she gon hit me up w/ 'love u but this isnt working'
might fuck around my blade till i negate the serotonin
now watch the liquid dripping red off slitted wrists, still frozen
find another guy and leave me dying w/ no notice
no i was never that man but fans in my dms saying im chosen
it gets hard to speak every want when everyone is seeing you choking
when words go wasting the space of audio waves to leaving me broken"

(autie)
my conscious is ever so heavy
i've been so cautious ever since you left
i've been holding myself down, with this self doubt
but nevertheless
i swear that i'll know when you need me
you know i'm right there when you're hearing that ringing
i'm patient a bit, but waiting's a bitch
i wish i could split and fuck up my breathing
but if there's anyone out there like me
smite like a god do and make me undying
bottle my goods for a world that is dying
plenish a helt that is tattered with lies
'cause i see through them every single minute
proof is in my dome, that's why i'm livid
tell me that you love him 'till i'm finished
i repel and let them be forgiven

(torva)
smoke until my chest hurts, til my lungs burn
think ill die soon, think ill go first
now my head hurts, never heard worse
if i lose you, need a gold hearse

never fuck it up, bitch i run it up
i go fucking crazy
til i do enough
keep my tommy tucked, never losing love
think i need some help
fore' i lose my trust

Cage w/ strivesad, shizukesa, autumndropsdead & torvamia [+ Tied For Silver x flesh]

prod raspo
mixed/mastered by getbetter

Lyrics:

rend it apart, i guess we'll move on now
i feel psychosis taking root in the scars you left
open hearts bleed courtesy of the knife 
i see my angel's wings shedding feathers in the moonlit night, okay i'm not alright

i want you to hold me tight

cause the life that i breathe through these chapped lips of mine, 
won't ever be cause enough for me to not lie 
oh and god saw you break my heart again
and i swear to him you wont get away with it
oh i was there when nobody else was, and i saw the darkness in those stale bones

oh it's clear to me, that you'll discard our history
throwing up blood as my esophagus wears down
oh the pills they saved me but the pills they hate me
twice i've met the reaper why wont he take me

you were perfect to me in everything that you do
well then i took the medicine, and i know what you did
baby you twisted my words so you could carve upon my skin
and i hate to admit it but on this liquor i depend
your soul i would defend if you were ever in need

inaction forms these complacent thoughts of mine
vertebrae collapse when i try to carry the weight
my love for you predates the day we met

i relapsed i was jus tryna see you
i ruined my life while tryna wait for you
i wish i could torch the feelings and demolish the view

fuck the excuse its always somethin new
i'm so tired i could go comatose
honestly preferable to tying the noose

cause i just wanna slip away
please don't hear this and tell me i'll be okay

tenseiga_ (raspo)

Sorry for my inactivity recently. been finding it hard to put my thoughts into writing. thank you for 2k on your loss with @caspywaspy, thank you for my first 5k, and most importantly thanks for sticking by me. Ill be back fully asap.

Lyrics

man fuck why does nothin ever last
Wonder what that means for the people that i have
Will they miss me like ill miss them?
if they dont then what does that say about my worth 
Uhh , will 
I be okay?
usually i can sleep off all the pain
I tell myself the same every night 
Tomorrow ill be feelin alright

ill be fine when i wake up
Hate when they treat me like something im not 
trying my best to suppress the depression but im so damn close to just giving me up
Fuck
Sorry mum
I wish that i could be the son that you want
A credit to you but im useless as fuck
I should kill myself i wish i was enough
(I wasnt enough)

not doin enough
promise im trying my best to keep up
with all of my friends and my family my loved 
but this shits so hard with my mind in the mud

ill never be who i wanna be
Just a fat piece of shit with a brick for a mind
How did people ever like me?
What do you see in this excuse of a guy
Why do you all stick by me?
i did nothing to deserve that
shit would be best if i died, see?
Spilling my blood in the cold bath

ill be fine when i wake up
Hate when they treat me like something im not 
trying my best to suppress the depression but im so damn close to just giving me up
Fuck
Sorry mum
I wish that i could be the son that you want
A credit to you but im useless as fuck
I should kill myself i wish i was enough
(I wasnt enough)

enough (autrioly)

prod. metlast x sor
mix: me
master: teddyboi (@yoimn3ver)
art: my girlfriend <3

lyrics:

close, but i can’t finish it
just know, that i don’t wanna be close tonight
when im at home, i feel the pain sink in
bottle after bottle after bottle down my throat 

know, that i can’t let go, this simply
of something that took time to put together
but clearly these bonds have been severed

don’t get too close, you’ll let the pain in
frost lands on my nose, it’s come im shaking
she knows, that she shouldn’t get close
but it’s freezing 

3 in the morning
i should be sleeping but im not
this anxiety has got its grip on me
this is something you won’t see
cause you’re caught up in a dream
so far away from the disease
im begging im down im on my knees
for someone to save me
but no one’s here lately 

close, but i can’t finish it
just know, that i don’t wanna be close tonight
when im at home, i feel the pain sink in
bottle after bottle after bottle down my throat

know, that i can’t let go, this simply
of something that took time to put together
but clearly these bonds have been severed

don’t get too close, you’ll let the pain in
frost lands on my nose, it’s come im shaking
she knows, that she shouldn’t get close
but it’s freezing

now you see me
now you don’t
now i’m gone and missing
you shouldn’t have gotten close

close (metlast x sor)

lyrics //

me: we fell down when we were kids,
but we just brushed it off
now we’re trying hard to live
and it’s not fun at all

hurt back then but my hearts still beating
fuck my friends they don’t know that i’m 
leaving soon

piece by piece we can put it back
make you think i do track how i run right back to you
and it’s a heart attack, stabbing my back
but i think i’m numb to you
good times, feel you runnin through my bloodline
pack my bags let em all forget me
i’ll be good mom just keep the memories oh

we fell down when we were kids,
but we just brushed it off
now we’re trying hard to live
and it’s not fun at all

hurt back then but my hearts still beating
fuck my friends they don’t know that i’m 
leaving soon

fordy:

broke down city
run around town but it’s looking so empty
in a world so tempting
never done wrong till a girl had left me

said sorry, but it’s not enough 
you saw me, just lock me up
or let me bleed, i’m not enough to marry me 

what about the memories? nowadays i can’t even barely sleep nah
and what about the sympathy? wrote down pages on the way i feel now

i’m leaving you’ll see me soon 
still breathing 
the same fumes you hated
the same tunes 
same playlist

and now i know, it’s so clear
iv been drowning way below, and i can’t hear
if they’re coming or they’re leaving out the door

but one thing
don’t expect me to double back loving
don’t you think that we needed more trusting
cut ties cuz all ur assumptions 

me: we fell down when we were kids,
but we just brushed it off
now we’re trying hard to live
and it’s not fun at all

i was hurt back then now my heart still beating
fuck my friends they don’t CARE that i’m leaving soon
i just know that i’ll be with YOU
i just know that i’ll be with YOU

leaving soon w/ brecken

lyrics ⬇️ :))).    PROD GREENWOOD.

talk to myself on the daily
Switch up my mood got me shaking
you swore it’s the truth never makin sense
i wish u could call you my baby
But lately
you and I have both been failing
you never used to talk to my friends like that
now everywhere I go I gotta watch my back
look at my surroundings 
I think they’re approaching
now they gotta bounty on me
Idc low care
I’m not one to run away so you gon have to face me
maybe there’s another day where you will get to play me
or play me not
If you watch me rot away will I be worth a shot
Prolly not because I change every day when your gone
so let’s be honest 
you been breakin me down
you left a promise but there was nothing found

decks 🐐

i broke a promise to ya honestly i never thought
that it would change everything that i thought i knew and i
fought the battle but the war was too much all along
i still remember all those nights out on the promenade
and i wish that i could take it all back
i see the message in the pitch black
never good, its always bad, how do you live like that?
several months and now you're asking for a little back

greenwood 🐐

two weeks could you call back?
looking outside of the pain but it's all that
i don't want hope cause i'm holding it so bad
just to find out in the end that it don't last
don't ask questions i don't want new friends
got old ones but they pretend
so i'm paranoid for the weekend
might disappear just to free them, fuck

slow burn surrounding it
with a subtle breath i'm wearing thin these days
suddenly so attached
up in the place i'm at
summer had come so fast
wanted to stop so bad

play me, or play me not w/ decks & greenwood

s/o my brother https://soundcloud.com/breckenford

lyrics

i never been smart
dont worry bout me bae u got a good heart
i kno i will love u till my times gone
n no we dont got time to think about the time lost

buckle up ur my overdrive
i feel myself spiral to a downward dive
n if u leave me in the end i can say that i tried
ill take the long way home
got shit to think ab
i had to teach myself to "not fall when u looking down"
spent a long time looking for myself
something different that i found
n i dont like it

im seeing violence when i close my eyelids
n we may struggle towards the end but death is silent
n she love asking why im drinking like a pirate
but when its all broken down
its just a science

(ford)
give me guidence
everyday im breaking down in the quiet
will it ever go away im steady crying
when u lie u overtaking got me dying
so indecisive
said im priceless then u say im violent
girl im trying
i dont gotta hide it
perfect timing
still wont stop the whining
so im reliant on the pain thru all the shining
but it make sense
all the times u broke me down n made me reset
made me realize all the cries were never silent
everything u ever said was only pretend
for no reason
i did my best to make sure u knew that i felt
every feeling in the world when i fell down
ill move away
go to town
find a new crowd
youd see what love was all about if u stick around
i know the truth now
it was over from the start
u a rebound
u could never reach my heart
such a let down
why is life so gd hard is this even allowed
is this even allowed

buckle up ur my overdrive
i feel myself spiral to a downward dive
n if u leave me in the end i can say that i tried
ill take the long way home
got shit to think ab
i had to teach myself to "not fall when u looking down"
spent a long time looking for myself
something different that i found
n i dont like it

play me, or play me not w/ decks & greenwood

brecken

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