IT WON'T MATTER WHEN I'M DEAD

second single of "IT WON'T MATTER WHEN I'M DEAD"

guess everything is said and done
you told me roll the dice and now i’m stuck with what i’m dealt
i didn’t have a choice 
and i know 
walking on my feelings like another tightrope
i don’t wanna talk think i’d rather stay cold
‘cause i’m MIA and i just don’t know how 

they always find me baby i’ve been going fucking insane
‘cause i’ve been paranoid and i think that it fucks with my brain
it got so complicated, me and you are one in the same 
different skin, different bones, but we’re one in the same

and i don’t wanna fuck things up
‘cause i think too much ‘cause i’m so damn in love 
just tell me everything is really neccesary 
‘cause i don’t wanna be the one you don’t need
tell me that you knew it since the day you met me 
tell me “i think you’re the one for me” 
‘cause i don’t fuck with unimportant conversations 
tell me if it’s over with or if you wanna chase it 

guess everything is said and done
you told me roll the dice and now i’m stuck with what i’m dealt
i didn’t have a choice 
and i know 
walking on my feelings like another tightrope
i don’t wanna talk think i’d rather stay cold
‘cause i’m MIA and i just don’t know how 

they always find me baby i’ve been going fucking insane
‘cause i’ve been paranoid and i think that it fucks with my brain
it got so complicated, me and you are one in the same 
different skin, different bones, but we’re one in the same

they always find me baby i’ve been going fucking insane
‘cause i’ve been paranoid and i think that it fucks with my brain
it got so complicated, me and you are one in the same 
different skin, different bones, but we’re one in the same

PARANOID

first singe off my upcoming project "IT WON'T MATTER WHEN I'M DEAD"

i'll do anything a thousand times before i get it right
and I feel everything without a reason why i know I'm out of time
It's hard to think that you could fuck with someone new 
(fuck with someone new)
'cuz the only thing i'd do is stand by you
(I would stand by you)
tell me that you're there, but you always do me wrong and
i don't want to talk baby i've been steady crying
if i'm being honest baby i don't wanna try it 
'cause every time i'm with you swear to god i'm fucking dying

i don't wanna fight anymore
you always trying to do me wrong you always playing offense
and every time you tell a lie its got me over the edge
i'll say it again i'm better off dead 
doesn't matter if you goddamn hate me 

and i've done everything more times than i can count 
fuck my life 'cause i can't tell if you're just keeping me around 
is it so goddamn hard to say?
tell me that you need me there's no other way
tell me that you're never gonna run
'cause all those times that i fucked up
still never sure if i'm ever enough oh
'cause i was never good to play my part
i always end up fucking up 
my lines, all the time
saying everything and nothing at the same time

i don't wanna fight anymore
you always trying to do me wrong you always playing offense
and every time you tell a lie its got me over the edge
i'll say it again i'm better off dead 
doesn't matter if you goddamn hate me 
i don't wanna fight anymore
you always trying to do me wrong you always playing offense
and every time you tell a lie its got me over the edge
i'll say it again i'm better off dead 
doesn't matter if you goddamn hate me 

just so sick of my self
i don't wanna, i don't wanna fall off 
say you're your wishing me well-well
we-ell-ell-ell-ell

RUNNN

i don’t despise your words no more
i know things arn’t the same 
i watch your smile decay
it pulls until it breaks 
just stay don’t you fade 
i’ll wait till you come home 
don’t think that you’re alone 
i watch the way you go 
so low 
it’s so cold 
touch still warm
don’t hold on
don’t say much just hold your ground
stay around don’t get so lonely 
lies so phoney kills me slowly 
save myself i killed the old me 
burn my flesh i’m decomposing 
save my breath don’t leave me holding on 
holding on 
don’t hold on

remember that one time on the rooftop when i really wanted to throw myself off it but never could

it hurts in a certain way i could never really get across

fear is one of the number one motivators we see in human psychology 
i mean happiness is important,
anger is important,
but fear is probably the biggest 
because fear is irrational, you can’t make sense of it
so when people are scared,
one of the number one responses you see is “i don’t wanna be scared anymore, somebody fix it!” 
so when people say “don’t worry i’ll help you, you don’t need to be scared anymore” 
people will trust that

treat me like the enemy
the best you get is rid of me 
nothing left for me to be 
nothing left for me to stick around and see 
i’ve been dying in my bed all week 
five pills down but i still can’t sleep
tell me what you want ‘cause i still can’t see 
tell me what you need ‘cause i still can’t be, that 
and i know that they’ll be someone else who can better play my role 
and i don’t really care no more 
‘cause i felt so damn alone 
those times when you let me down
swear its better now everytime that your not around
i don’t wanna dread everytime that you see me now 
didn’t wanna leave but i’m thinking that it’s better now 
swear it’s better now
those times when you let me down
swear its better now every time that your not around
i don’t wanna dread every time that you see me now 
didn’t wanna leave but i’m thinking that it’s better now 

and you don’t wanna be the one to blame
but you’re running everytime that i call out your name 
read between the lines but i’m caught in disarray 
just tell me that its fine but i’ll never be okay 
i don’t wanna die but i don’t think i should stay 
and you tell me that its fine but i feel like i’m insane i
i wanted to try but you didn’t wanna change no 
got you out my life so i feel like i’m okay now

those times when you let me down
swear its better now every time that your not around
i don’t wanna dread every time that you see me now 
didn’t wanna leave but i’m thinking that it’s better now 
swear it’s better now
those times when you let me down
swear its better now every time that your not around
i don’t wanna dread every time that you see me now 
didn’t wanna leave but i’m thinking that it’s better now 
swear it’s better now

better now

you say i'm always on your left
i swear i never know what's next 
it's always everything you said verses everything you meant
i swear i am going fucking insane i need closure 
but i know nothing will change so it's over
i tried to tell you so many fucking times 
that i could never be the one you needed 
'cause i can't even tell you why i tried 
when we both know in the end that i am
fine by myself and you'll find someone better
I can't reminisce about your scent in my sweaters
and i am past tense but i cannot forget her so i
just crash out and everything starts falling on me
falling on me 
falling on me 
falling on me
you say i'm always on your left
i swear i never know what's next 
it's always everything you said verses everything you meant
i swear i am going fucking insane i need closure 
but i know nothing will change so it's over
i tried to tell you so many fucking times 
that i could never be the one you needed 
'cause i can't even tell you why i tried 
when we both know in the end that i am
fine by myself and you'll find someone better
I can't reminisce about your scent in my sweaters
and i am past tense but i cannot forget her so i
just crash out and everything starts falling on me
falling on me 
falling on me 
falling on me

falling on me

i tried so hard so many times i i really tried to do it well i swear to god i’m not the same as i was i am just a shell you said somethings you didn’t mean sometimes i really couldn’t tell if everything is just a dream or am i really stuck in hell i pray to god they cut me off when they don’t need me anymore i pray to god to take me with him when i’m not needed anymore i’ve always had this intuition they’ll find my body on the floor and i could i last my whole damn life and still not be a thing at all and thats what they can’t comprehend just wait till no one else is left they’ll cut me off i know they will so i don’t really give a fuck if they care or they don’t ‘cause i don’t really care at all i can’t be saved when my time is up no i just can’t be saved at all ‘cause i’ve seen me bleed every time this time i’ve crossed the line i’ve been the issue this whole damn time there ain’t no point tryna save my live ‘cause it can’t be helped i won’t help myself i swear there ain’t a thing i’m afraid of now ‘cause i’ve seen it all ‘cause i’ve seen it all don’t save me just save yourself ‘cause i can’t be helped ‘cause i can’t be helped oh

IT WON'T MATTER WHEN I'M DEAD

byekento