casper, your music has saved me multiple times. thank you for making something beautiful.

𝙞 𝙜𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙙 𝙢𝙮 𝙩𝙚𝙚𝙩𝙝 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙞 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙠 𝙤𝙛 𝙞𝙩 𝙣𝙤𝙬
prod. kais
shoutout to https://soundcloud.com/lilskeleskrrt & https://soundcloud.com/heylog for getting on this with me <3

lyrics:
(kais)
don't look back at that house
I grind my teeth when I think of it now.
took all I had to make you proud
now all I see is your face as I'm bound.

(skele)
ooooo
there’s nobody here 
anymore 
look around
oh i wanted 
to feel 
you breaking down 
grab my throat 
need to feel something 
blood soaked house 
it won’t let me leave
scars won’t show 
but i feel them bleed 
n if i don’t choke 
would you be proud of 
me 
of me

(heylog)
don't look back at me
forget everything
hearing high-pitched rings
hanging by a string
I look up
what have I become?
oh god, you tell me to run
rooftops hidden by the snow
every limb appears white
and your body sits and glows
it glows

(kais, skele, & heylog)
don't look back at that house
I grind my teeth when I think of it now.
took all I had to make you proud
now all I see is your face as I'm bound.

bound

spotify

bound w/skele & heylog

produced by 🦠 homesick x jolst 

uh, i feel it x 6262662

she say slow down
goin too fast
for my liking
please don’t do that
she can’t take it 
got a new man
ima break him 

she don’t want no fun or want no drama
she got eyes just like her mama 
and a rage and vile temper just like hades 

she say she say baby please don’t do that
friends all hate her, rushi sunak
drop 2 bills on a half a set, and now im shakin

haven’t popped a pill or sipped a litre
since last year, im livin cleaner
got a baby on the way, and now i’m chasin 

chasin the bag
fell off last year, how tf i do that
had this whole shit in the palm of my hand
i got too lazy, took eyes off the plan 
let u boys win now i’m finally back
scene wants some drama, sendflowrs ur man
indirect tweets go and work on your jab 
fuckin cokeheads go and put down the bag
i hit the gym, smoke a blunt and i’m grand :)
dropped out of uni, got tired of that 
quit my old job, i got tired of that
listening to bullshit, got tired of that
jolst and homesick, on the beat make it slap

uh x 5262662

hades (jolst + homesick)

all my friends say i've changed
i'm not me now 
cause i drink and i smoke 
til i pass out 
all my friends say i've changed
and i'm mean now 
cause i say what i think
no matter how (2x)

and i'm trynna get my money up
travel where the dreams come true 
when people make it it's never luck
except when it comes to you 

lately i been asking for help
sadly with no1 to come thru 
they say i just think bout myself
i'm trynna keep myself away from the box made out of wood

all my friends say i've changed
i'm not me now 
cause i drink and i smoke 
til i pass out 
all my friends say i've changed
and i'm mean now 
cause i say what i think
no matter how 

drugs keep me afloat
wavs keep me from ending it all
sometimes i wish u crushed my throat
so i woulnd't have to feel at all
so i wouldn't've to deal with all
the bullshit i get involved 
with everysingle day 
cause it just means a new headache 

all my friends say i've changed
i'm not me now 
cause i drink and i smoke 
til i pass out 
all my friends say i've changed
and i'm mean now 
cause i say what i think
no matter how (2x)

but u never kno (lostcage)

lyrics

im outside
i’m like where the hell you been
i’ll slide
wondering how the hell you been
are you alright
buckle up and put your head back
i’ll play you my new song
i hope that you like it

blunt something like my therapist start talking when i light it
i act like i don’t care about it but then i get to writing
just cuz i lost your spark don’t mean that i can’t reignite it
love you too much to leave so imma stay and try to fight it
love you too much to hurt you so i fuck around and lie
but i’m not tryna burden you from what’s burning me inside
it’s okay tho
it’s alright
baby i’m outside
baby where the hell you been can you tell me what’s on your mind

i ain’t see you in so long
but i promise i been working hard stack money on my phone
i don’t talk that much so i barf up words on top these songs
im quiet in the back of the party sipping white claw and patron
just stay with me for a few days help me figure out what the fuck i’m on
baby this big boy shit
i can’t rest im too grown
my back breaking and i can’t find my eyes cuz they too low
my demons like rubrics cube lately
id figure it out but i don’t know

blunt something like my therapist start talking when i light it
i act like i don’t care about it but then i get to writing
just cuz i lost your spark don’t mean that i can’t reignite it
love you too much to leave so imma stay and try to fight it
love you too much to hurt you so i fuck around and lie
but i’m not tryna burden you from what’s burning me inside
it’s okay tho
it’s alright
baby i’m outside
baby where the hell you been can you tell me what’s on your mind

she love me too much to remind me that this happens every time
u know i been having trouble staying inside the lines
a little swervy i been drinking every night
it’s like im celebrating not wanting to be alive
my body a temple i can’t turn into a shrine
can’t snuff my flame out before i even find the light
i don’t know how the hell i been am i alright
a couple drinks and autotune and call it a night

blunt something like my therapist start talking when i light it
i act like i don’t care about it but then i get to writing
just cuz i lost your spark don’t mean that i can’t reignite it
love you too much to leave so imma stay and try to fight it
love you too much to hurt you so i fuck around and lie
but i’m not tryna burden you from what’s burning me inside
it’s okay tho
it’s alright
baby i’m outside
baby where the hell you been can you tell me what’s on your mind

shrine (under the maple tree)

Is this all that I am anymore ?
Can I call this a relapse or
Am I just stupid
I’m just stupid
No one cares when I say it as a joke
I look fine but inside I’m froze
I’m so stupid 
Aren’t I stupid ? 

I’m so deluded it feels like a burden now
Keep throwing money till I say I’m finally out
But I’m not
All that I’ve worked for immediately out my hands
Say I’m fine but it’s nothing that I could grasp
Isn’t that stupid ?

Is this all that I am anymore ?
Can I call this a relapse or
Am I just stupid
I’m just stupid
No one cared when I said it as a joke
I look fine but inside I’m froze
I’m so stupid 
I’m so stupid 

Eyes glued to my screen all night
Fall asleep without my high
You don’t get it and nor do I
I swear I only use it to pass my time
But what time is it now ?
I’m starting to feel better can you slow it down
I’ll stay awake till I go outside
And pretend it’s not ruined my life

Is this all that I am anymore ?
Can I call this a relapse or
Am I just stupid
I’m just stupid
No one cared when I said it as a joke
I look fine but inside I’m froze
I’m so stupid 
I’m so stupid

I’m so deluded it feels like a burden now
Keep throwing money till I say I’m finally out
But I’m not
All that I’ve worked for immediately out my hands
Say I’m fine but it’s nothing that I could grasp
Isn’t that stupid ?

stupid

(Prod. Noise Complaint)

Lyrics: 

Couldn’t let you inside
I just do the same thing 45 times
Know I hate the thought of you with any other guy
No I’m not the type of boy just to see you as a prize
Spent a whole year to realise
I can see you lie
You were never mine
But nevermind

It’s always so silly to me how much I respect the honesty
Put so much forward for things you can’t see
Look in my eyes when you’re talking to me
What it is when my heart feels ordinary
Why do I feel so alive when the shit get scary?
It’s only a problem to me

I can see the tear drops falling down
I know you can’t even look at me
My problem always keeps me separate from the crowd
Can’t you look forward without looking down?
I got too many issues to part ways with you now
I gotta sacrifice
Looking so bluntly while I sharpen my knife
I swear I told you this is what I wanna do with my life
But when your eyes meet mine we just can’t think twice
(Is this what I’m doing tonight?)

What I gotta do to make you proud of me?
What’s for the best isn’t what I want
Know your future’s uncertain and it’s always a lot
Know I make you mad, yeah I pissed you off
Would I stop being sad if I make the top?
Give me time baby, and you’ll forget about me
‘Cause if you gets much worse I’ll be the only reason
Try to clear your memories, forget the hidden meaning
When it gets so cold that I-

Always the catalyst
Cry harder for me babe this is the last time
I feel so fucking sick in my mind
I’ll never forget your hand on mine
I wanna hurt myself thinking ‘bout the next guy
“Sorry I hurt you” doesn’t make it better
I can not curse you, only the city weather
And when I fell in love I knew this shit was coming
Crashing at false speeds, and you just leave me nothing.




nvm :/

why is it so hard to exist
my insides get ripped apart if i resist the urgent crawling of my skin

all my memories locked in basements and the floorboards of that room
out of body, sealed my fate
ill see you really soon

you cant see all thats in my head
i bleed it out, but to my dread
like every time went way too far
im running out of space for scars

keep it pushing but my head just keeps on spinning
telling me that i should end it but i never want to listen
cause i know that i agree but that was never part the vision
im still tryna stick around just for as long as i can bare

i hate who i am
im wasting time and
i only feel fine when im on the edge now

ihatewhoiam

body going missing

prod: https://soundcloud.com/block-tane https://soundcloud.com/nate2timezz
 
i can hear my own heartbeat
pound in this quiet
hands bound back
with this rope
he'll tie me up
(i can hear my own heartbeat pounding
i can hear my own heartbeat pounding)
i can feel the cold concrete
laying down, crying
itching through scabs
to be whole is all i want
(i can hear my own heartbeat pounding
i can hear my own heartbeat pounding)
open me up
god willing i'll make it
your shirt soaking with blood
oh, my body keep shaking
place my flesh upon a sigil
brand with my initials
this night will make me whole again
the embers start to whistle
nothing left, no one to hold me
bloody ceremony
i will lose control again,
the heavens will disown me

please, please
it's all that i have
(like magician, body going)

like magician,
body going missing
bloodied up my palms
baby i feel like a christian
just how i envisioned
prep for the incision
pierce right through my heart
until my fingers finish twitching
oh yeah,
i think i like it, i don't wanna pretend
i'm fucking begging for it
cut me again
and again, and again, and again
and again

(let us pray, let us wish
to partake in communion,
let us partake in communion,
and feast upon the old blood)

where i'm going
i won't make it back
hope he's waiting for me
vision going black
nothing i have left will make it past
open me up
god willing i'll make it
your shirt soaking with blood
oh my body keeps shaking
keeps shaking


paleblood

im sorry its quiet messy, it was supposed to be one take throughout i just couldnt do it, im sure you can hear. lyrics can be found on sleeps version.
i miss you sm buddy

but u never kno (lostcage)

casperrr

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