cover, prod and vocals by yonklolz.

lyrics:

I can't tell if this is real
And I can't seem to swallow my fears
But yet you told the world that I was trying to heal
Cause I'm swimming in an ocean and no one will wipe my tears

Feeling drained completely
Been on the edge for a few weeks
For a few weeks
Bitch, don't test me
Living on the edge
Of insanity
Yeah, you raked me up
With the rest of the leaves
I can't stop thinking that I'm feeling so weak

You misuse your influence
Talk down on everything
Desire to not exist
One like and everything flips
And I can't tell you why
My existence is a lie
Bitch, I'm talking
Please don't try to speak
I've been on the low
For the past few weeks
I've been struggling
And I'm sick of it
Make me feel like shit
What's the point of it

Feeling drained completely
Been on the edge for a few weeks
For a few weeks
Bitch, don't test me
Living on the edge
Of insanity
Yeah, you raked me up
With the rest of the leaves
I can't stop thinking that I'm feeling so weak

And I can't seem to find what's real
My mind is a painting but every day it peels
And I wrote so many songs about you
The pictures on my wall all lost their value
And maybe one day, I'll get around you
But this time, I'll just fall

I can't tell if this is real
And I can't seem to swallow my fears
But yet you told the world that I was trying to heal
Cause I'm swimming in an ocean and no one will wipe my tears

spotify

don't test me!

Vocals by maxiim
Produced, Mixed & Mastered by maxeem

ALL PLATFORMS - https://ffm.to/ichandle

[Intro]
I don't wanna end that way again
I end up wasting time
Staying far too long again
There's no one by my side

[Pre-Chorus]
And I know that it wasn't as easy as they said it is
Took a leap of faith into uncharted abyss
On my own, but for the first time
I feel new again, I've ascended into new light

[Chorus]
And I know it's not as easy as they said it was
I fell but got back up, and I'm the best I could be
Took many jabs yet prevailed
But you hurt me
Made me just better myself
Don't concern me
Say that you want something else
You'll get over this
I know me
I can handle this

[Post-Chorus]
In the dark for far too long
The darkness ended up being prolonged
I wanted more out of this song
Let me out, I waited too long
Don't wanna end up another face up on a poster
Lost all to time, lost all the faith that I had

[Pre-Chorus]
Don't wanna end up another face
up on a poster
Lost all to time
I lost all the faith I had

[Chorus]

And I know it's not as easy as they said it was
I fell but got back up, and I'm the best I could be
Took many jabs yet prevailed
But you hurt me
Made me just better myself
Don't concern me
Say that you want something else
You'll get over this
I know me
I can handle this

[Outro]

I spent too many nights
You won't see me up on that poster
I walked out the door
I don't wanna see you again
I can handle this I can handle this

LIIGHTWORK SOON :)

I can handle this

Spotify

it's my birthday so here's a song featuring @yonklolz !  enjoy :)
prod. me
all live instruments were recorded by me as per usual

available on all platforms!

lyrics:

@chriad
every single moment's pass
you can find another different reason to hate me
i feel like i'm made of glass
i know you try to look right through me lately
if there was a single thing left for me in this place
maybe then i would've had a reason to stay
maybe i wouldn't have left without a trace
throw away any pieces that i left behind
and i'm sorry that i cannot leave your mind
i'm sorry i can't leave your mind

i don't expect you to understand
but leaving here was my decision
somethings just cannot go as planned
but leaving here was my decision

@yonklolz
misuse my fragments as reflections
i don't know why you want me that way
you told me everything would pass
somedays i fall but somedays i last
now you don't see me
treat me like a broken piece of glass

@chriad
one fucked up night that just ruined all the rest
i don't wanna care about you but i'm wishing you the best
and you don't wanna listen so i'mma just say less
but i know that one day what i did will make sense
one fucked up night that just ruined all the rest
i don't wanna care about you but i'm wishing you the best
and you don't wanna listen so i'mma just say less
but i know that one day what i did will make sense
to you

one fucked up night that just ruined all the rest
i don't wanna care about you but i'm wishing you the best
and you don't wanna listen so i'mma just say less
but i know that one day what i did will make sense
to you

orangecore

made of glass

made of glass (ft. yonklolz)

wintry synth-pop

go stream the album: ffm.to/limina
my ig: instagram.com/redhxrse

'in medias res'

introooo

.

the news dropped, and i’m blocked from the inside.
sitting in pitch black just waiting for myself to cry-
why does it feel too easy putting on a smile?
it ain’t like the movies - no sad music, just pure silence now.

it’s like i split in two and they see one of me!
how selfish i am to share the load...
gone too soon, an utmost tragedy.
it’s better if nobody knows, i’ll deal the fatal blow.
don’t let them see or i’ll weep the whole world over,
cos maybe then they’ll let me fucking breathe.

i need to see what’s wrong with me.
my hearts slow, but i’m breathing too fast
the world’s in the wrong place, feeling no type of way
can't help but keep losing my trust, and i’ll leave myself in the dust
yeah, we’ll put it all down to fate - surely i’ll see better days...

call myself an actor, they say it’s nothing to cry about.
now i seem way more mild-mannered, the smile is lost but not yet found.
it’s like i skip two steps then go back three, normal emotions aren’t my thing, you see :(
anything i’d do to get out! get me out!
it’s a fucking ghost town, the busiest around...
these thoughts that run past meeee, can’t help but let them keep me down.
 
it’s like i split in two and they see one of me!
how selfish i am to share the load...
gone too soon, an utmost tragedy.
it’s better if nobody knows, i’ll deal the fatal blow.
don’t let them see or i’ll weep the whole world over,
cos maybe then they’ll let me FUCKING BREATHE AHHHH-

dwell in the silence and it's crippling
dwell in the silence and it's crippling
dwell in the silence and it's crippling

i need to see what’s wrong with me.
my hearts slow, but i’m breathing too fast
the world’s in the wrong place, feeling no type of way
can't help but keep losing my trust, and i’ll leave myself in the dust
yeah, we’ll put it all down to fate - surely i’ll see better days...

written a while ago, but it hits harder now.

limina

silence

stream the mf song

all instrumentation by me!
JUST STAY!!

i cant lie ive been thinkin some things u dont know
but will i ever make it out of this hole idk
whose to say that the path that ive chosens the right road?
put all my responsibilities aside and lets goooo

just stayyyy, no need to cry, lets wipe your eyes
okayyyy
it's on the tip of my tongue-
just stayyyy, no need to cry, lets wipe your eyes
okayyyy
i hate this shit im so done

look im sorry i'm a novice
lets just change the topic
and im sorry i cant stop it
no i cant help where my mind is

cut a knife right where my heart is
so i'll be the trending topic
being nice is not an option
sloans too good someone should stop him

so you think you'll waste your time?
well let me prove you right
i still need a reason why i think i should be alive
sent a message to myself, read it when im 35
the only question that i asked, if im gonna be alright
will this music shit survive, am i really living life?
i just turned 19 i just did my first show
im still debating on quittin this shits got me feeling low
but it still make me happy thats what im doin it for

just stayyyy, no need to cry, lets wipe your eyes
okayyyy
it's on the tip of my tongue-
just stayyyy, no need to cry, lets wipe your eyes
okayyyy
i hate this shit im so done

look im sorry i'm a novice
lets just change the topic
and im sorry i cant stop it
no i cant help where my mind is

cut a knife right where my heart is
so i'll be the trending topic
being nice is not an option
sloans too quick someone should stop him

(awesome epic lead solo)

so how am i supposed to tell you you're wrong
how do you get so worked up over some little song?
and now that I am older, I'm still the same sloan
enjoy what you have right now, cuz you know it'll be gone

someone tell me where the time is at cuz im really tryna hit the sack
someone tell me where the moneys at, im tryna give it right back to mac
im really tryna this shit out of my system
you sayin that you love him you might as well kiss himmm
dont ask me for a reason why, i'm gon list em
don't ask me if i'm doin fine, there's no wisdom

i cant lie ive been thinkin some things u dont know
but will i ever make it out of this hole idk
whose to say that the path that ive chosens the right road?
put all my responsibilities aside and lets goooo

just stayyyy, no need to cry, lets wipe your eyes
okayyyy
it's on the tip of my tongue-
just stayyyy, no need to cry, lets wipe your eyes
okayyyy
i hate this shit im so done

look im sorry i'm a novice
lets just change the topic
and im sorry i cant stop it
no i cant help where my mind is

cut a knife right where my heart is
so i'll be the trending topic
being nice is not an option
sloans too good someone should stop him

what's the point if it all means nothing?

life is like an automation clip

EPISODE 3/5!!!!!!!!
featuring the frakin GOAT @t1gerstar!!!!
everything produced by me
inspired by tsubi club and internet girl

purple shampoo! (feat. tigerstar)

everything by me

ima come back better than before
i try my best to restore
you wanted less but i wanted more
i sided with the bitch who hurt my core
fuck it i don't want her anymore
got me feeling things i cant describe 
in my head; i keep inside
now i just want you to die
got me feeling like im insane
plant evil thoughts inside my brain
you dragged me through the rain
i'll put the pain inside your head
i don't want your love anymore
throw out my heart onto the floor
dagger blade cutting out my sores
i don't love you anymore

i bleed blue but my blood red i'll stay that way 
faith fades along with the passing days
they try to stop me they always hate
i walk the path inside a broken brain

far from home (i cannot feel anymore)
i would know
far from home (i cannot feel anymore)
i would know
far from home (i cannot feel anymore)
i would know
far from home (i cannot feel anymore)
i would know
i need your trust
i need your trust
i need your trust
i need your trust

stream

restore

produced by @typhoondll + me

lyrics:

[long ass intro with hella vocal chops for no reason]

u try to bring me along somewhere i wont go
u think ur calling my bluff but bitch i wont fold
got hyperflexed knees bending so low
my head is scraping the ceiling pray i wont grow

im losing feeling in my legs sitting waiting
got so much pressure on my head to keep it vacant
i run in place, keep posting my face make it famous
just so i can go replace it put a glaive where my brain is

i said im happiest for you that you lucked out
somehow only way i show it is i run out
smoke my lungs out 
try to hold back tears they send a flood now
every day's the same gotta wait another one down

counting all the time i lost watch the clock as it ticks by
all i got spending every drop i wont miss mine 
all i saw, u took my bar hit it six times
its gonna be all ur fucking fault when that shit dies

remember please, you dont own our memories, no
you shared with me and at best u had a lease on it
all i see bitches stare at me, keep watching
cant make me bleed, wont prick my finger on cheap comments

im sick of fake compliments im begging be honest
i hate the way the friendly faces are the least common
alone time for my whole life making me chronic
dont need a feature im the only one i see on it

i said im happiest for you that you lucked out
somehow only way i show it is i run out
smoke my lungs out 
try to hold back tears they send a flood now
every day's the same gotta wait another one down

counting all the time i lost watch the clock as it ticks by
all i got spending every drop i wont miss mine 
all i saw, u took my bar hit it six times
its gonna be all ur fucking fault when that shit dies

lucked out (p. typhoon + leyton)

@sxthsns

LYRICS:
i dont put nothing but my best in 
if you mean that shit best say it with yo chest then
im moving overtime forgot about my best friends
this shit been overdue but im so bad at scheduling
i put requests in to my plug i need my medicine
without it feel like ima die before the better days
i lost my mom aint get to see her shit embarassing
i still suppress all of my thoughts about it every day

23 years old should be in my prime by now i know 
sick of waiting on time time just go
feel like optimus prime when i switch clothes
-if you see me crying on my own
just know im trying to keep afloat
ima end up dying on my own 
the way i strive to be alone
the way i strive to be alone
flauge' packing heat he could send you home
you a opp? dont come in my zone
told ch6po man its been so damn long
i got bustdown fever everywhere i go 
no wonder why i stay indoors
im looking out of the window 
and all i see is time stolen

i took one shot at a ponyboy hope he stay golden
when i come around you feel the rumble but i aint flowdan
i just wanna get rapper rich one day get my wrist flooded
cash out an abundance i been hitting home runs
why these goofies bunting yea i treat the stu like boxing matches
you can see me punch in 
i done spent way too much of my life wondering where the drugs is
so down bad couldnt carve a smile out of my face i aint no pumpkin


im 23 years old should be in my prime by now i know 
sick of waiting on time time just go
feel like optimus prime when i switch clothes
-if you see me crying on my own
just know im trying to keep afloat
ima end up dying on my own 
the way i strive to be alone
the way i strive to be alone
flauge' packing heat he could send you home
you a opp? dont come in my zone
told ch6po man its been so damn long
i got bustdown fever everywhere i go 
no wonder why i stay indoors
im looking out of the window 
and all i see is time stolen

OH MY GOD!!
(2x)
i dont put nothing but my best in 
if you mean that shit best say it with yo chest then
im moving overtime forgot about my best friends
this shit been overdue but im so bad at scheduling
i put requests in to my plug i need my medicine
without it feel like ima die before the better days
i lost my mom aint get to see her shit embarassing
i still suppress all of my thoughts about it every day

bustdown fever pt 2 (sxth sns x swazy*)

OUT NOW: distrokid.com/hyperfollow/leytonxswazy/im-sorry-that-u-tried

produced by @swazyhq

lyrics:

the blossoms always sprung
locked in ur bedroom in the spring
hide so they won’t find us
cry while i take the bus home

i tried to write it all down
so i could get it all out
i tripped and dropped all of my pages
fly away as i fall down

get back up i don’t know how
the rain on my window sounds so loud
lately i’ve been sleeping to ignore it 
face down in the front yard while it’s pouring 

cause i can’t afford the time that i’m stealing
late night while i’m staring at the ceiling
is it real or just a feeling
can anybody hear me

i never took care of myself 
you saw and you would always try to help
no one tried quite like you did
but i’m not something you can fix

now i see the whole time i was sick
you always stayed right by my side but that’s not a way to live 
i don’t wanna make u cry cause it’s nothing that u did 
i’m just sorry that u tried i was living out a lie

i always hid it all under the surface
i should’ve called it off u don’t deserve this 
but how could i stop us from falling we were perfect 
we couldn’t help but give it all swear we were burning

i’m sorry swear i didn’t try to call u
my finger slipped while i was tryna change the volume 
i know i’m in the wrong, shoulda made it stop but i went too long
now i never wanna hear that shit again, i hate all my songs 

now im back got me thinking of the past what i did wrong
come in last all the chances that i had, call this shit off
got me sad, all the times i let you down got me pissed off
wrote it down, swear i’m gonna drown in the list of

i cant look back, swear i’m doing what i have to do
i lost my track, really thought that things would last with you
hiding when i go out, crying in the bathroom
you don’t ever slow down, life is flying pst you

im sorry that u tried (p. swazy*)

featuring @themiauto prod @jalfas-official

banner ft.Themi (prod jalfa d.)

'cry•add' (=˃ᆺ˂=)
24 | she/they
@00clique

made of glass (ft. yonklolz)

chriad

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