regret

dylan lotus - Chains (w/feelnum)

eleven months and its all bad news

shoutout @fantasycamp for the incredible song
& @hellahaunted for one of my favorite beats ever

much love to whoever listens <3

eleven months (cover) [caves]

Downfall w/ Gaiden

non-profit, shoutout idealism

this song helped start the process of closure for a lot of things for me, I hope you all enjoy it

thanks for listening <3

cacophony [prod. idealism]

throttle

prod. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0jK0w2f_rlzx4IY8RoBMCw

im sorry :/

5521 (prod. nevrfall)

feat: Evan Carr: https://soundcloud.com/ejcarrmusic
Prod: Irby
Mix on my vocals: Decks Music online 24/7 help line: https://soundcloud.com/decksmusic
Lyrics

Ichorus
love me

i don’t know why you love me
i just wanna feel something 
i fall asleep in the snow banks
tell me all the things that you know babe
i want to see 
everything you love about me 

love about me
baby what’s new
tell me all the things that are happening with you
i don’t wanna talk about me tonight 
i just wanna let you know 
that i’m not alright 
i’m not okay
i don’t wanna think about the things you say
when i tell you what happened to me 

my past mistakes are always great 
are always great
i just wanna be ok
i don’t know why you choose me
i’m no light i’m just another phase

Evan Carr:
i don’t remember how it’s supposed to feel 
is this it? is this real? 
am i going somewhere i won’t heal
baby lemme tell you i tried
to do my best while i’m dead inside 
if you love me tell no lies 
in the end are you by my side?
i’ve been having doubts 
i’ve been breaking out of this ship that we’ve set in motion 
i’m freaking out cuz there’s no emotion 
if this is love where’s the devotion 
lie awake for something 
will i wait for nothing 
to come of you when i’ve got this far 
i’m begging you tell me who you are

Love Me +Evan Carr (Irby)

I'm looking at my reflection asking "who it is"
It's hard to answer when they ask me how i feel
I'm scared to make em scared saying how i've been
i've seen death and i stared right in her eyes

I'd point it to my head if you passed me the ak
I'm moving too fast you don't wanna stay on my way
I live life to it's fullest cuz it could be my last day
Life taught me you have to fall in love with the pain

Make sacrifices or you're sacrificing success
I worked more than anyone and they'd talk about coincidence

You will always end up getting what you really want
It's gotta be mine if against my head there's a gun
Most of these people bore me yeah i'm not having fun
Traumas looking for me, i've been on the run

You will always end up getting what you really want
It's gotta be mine if against my head there's a gun
Most of these people bore me, I'm not having fun
My traumas looking for me yeah i've been on the run

Heart's racing with everything you say
I still remember your lyrics about me
But everything is so hard to understand
I know you the best but i still don't get it

I might just ghost em all they won't hear of me again
Stay where you are, i don't really care

You will always end up getting what you really want
It's gotta be mine if against my head there's a gun
Most of these people bore me, i'm not having fun
All my traumas are looking for me, i've been on the run

I didn't hear your voice for so long
So i hope you will hear mine in this song
But i know i'm a lost cause, because

You will always end up getting what you really want
It's gotta be mine if against my head there's a gun
Most of these people bore me, i'm not having fun
All my traumas are looking for me, i've been on the run

On The Run

authentic bed squeaks 👍
mix n master: Feelnum

lyrics:
numbers in my head got me feeling numb
lose myself in another one
i dont wanna be alone
i cant stand up on my own

numbers in my head got me feeling numb
i might take another pill to feel some
i dont wanna let you know
im not gonna come back home

Numbers +Feelnum (Frevel & Pekarot)

NEW SONG: https://soundcloud.com/speedlmt/how-it-goes-speedlmt-jolst-2

was fucked up when i recorded this

its been a while since i broke down
you cant be serious 
you take me as a joke now
i know you seeing it
the way im glowing up now
still stuck behind it 
feeling like i might drown

guess im holding on to hopes
that you still cared
and i know its been a while 
but are you still there
somethings gonna happen
i can feel it in the air
breaking all your promises 
left me in despair 

dont tell me that youre hurt
stuck up in your head
went and left me in the dirt
i keep falling
like im stuck up in a curse 
you know i see it, you know i see you lurk

i hope you wish you never sent that
youre the problem
went n hurt me, saw me left back
you could never understand how i felt that
all the lies
got me feeling like im down bad

dylan lotus - Chains (w/feelnum)

cloud cabin ☽ ✩