to the moon

Suitcase

I’m not suicidal I just hate to exist
a pessimistic piece of shit doesn’t care if he’s missed
it don’t matter, what you say anymore 
I’ve reached the point of fucking breaking screaming out through the door
 
what if I stay, would you tell me I’m ok and just stray 
further down that path until we just break
you start to tell me that it’s just too much to fake
you need to focus on yourself so stay away
 
yeah, so tell me why I never see the bright side of life
I’m barley hanging by my fingertips they’re burning with fire
the ground below is way too far if I fall I won’t be fine
and when my face impacts on rocks they’ll probably say that I died
 
but I didn’t, I’m still here, 
the cracks in my skull have appeared
I scream out, to nowhere
I see death, make me disappear
 
I never, I never thought I be stuck forever
together, together, take my hand face the pressure.
get better, get better, on your knees for their pleasure
we sever, we sever, emotions like what ever 
 
the rain falls down 24 hours a day
it never stops, see it rising as it starts to decay
the walls around, warping floorboards with age
it’s like I’m stuck in the place; there’s no time here so just stay away
 
cus everything brings back the memories, 
sometimes I wish I died in that car crash just let me be
but I can’t change the fact from fiction if I can’t tell what is real
like who am I, I don’t know I can’t feel
 
I know I’m trapped behind the glass of crt monitors
the static breathes inside my conscious, built upon promises
notice my head just starts to turn and looks me straight in the eye
I see someone who isn’t me turn back and give me a smile
 
well, that’s it, I’m still here
the one who breathes is the one that I fear
I scream out to nowhere
the glass cracks as I disappear

Coal Mine

LEDs blind me
yeah, stigmatism covers up what I wanna see
when I’m looking at your pretty face, yeah you got me
wrapped around you little fingers yeah, my soul was free for the taking
 
it’s like what did you mean I didn’t get it
stuck in the past with my obsession
got a collection of memories 
burn them on the wall for all to see
 
it’s like what is that smell my flesh is burning
stuck in the tide I see you turning
fragments of wood sticking out your flesh
the void is leaking from my chest
 
my friends now covered in the dragon’s rot
they didn’t seem to mind that I was stuck
with the crows above calling out my name
didn’t seem to matter how much I changed
 
loved ones passed out in the burning house
smoked bellowed in my lungs and I’m left in doubt
like was I the one to start this flame
didn’t mean to burn out now nothing remained
 
now the clouds above are looking at me
filling their guts with my pity
crying out loud, I’m smothered in shame
resurrection the love I called pain
 
now the fragile bodies pile up like logs
turn my back on my problems cus I know its a lot
this reality is nothing that I could dream
guess misery has finally found his peace

I guess the person that just I really miss is me
yeah, what have I become
misery just finds a way to seep into me
I guess it’s time to say that I’m done
 
every day is suffering so please won’t you leave
you only care to know that you’ve won
sink into the past to find that memories haunt me
this wasn’t something that could be love

sick of me, sick of us
yeah, every time I try to
explain it I seem to rot
yeah, fake friends corrupt
 
yeah can’t get grip on myself fingers are shaking losing patience
of me and the place I call home from the start I was just alone
lather myself in drugs to feel nothing cus it better then feeling something
cus I don’t want to feel this anger again from a childhood where I didn’t understand
 
the consequences of being different pushed aside there was no interest.
of understanding who I could be and who I became
until I met you I thought you were everything that I deserve
you brought hell to my mental state I didn’t think it could get worse
 
down here now in the abyss I see friends are suffering  all the same
burning out our mental trauma from the bones of family ones that lay 
when the osulouths come down and change the forms that we try to portray
distorted figures is what became, no face could recognize the pain.
 
how do we survive when we don’t understand the person in front of us
disgusted by reflections of everyone that just seem to pass.
now time doesn’t wait for now one, so we ignore the issues and drown it out
so, we live in constant agony fill us to the brim aching doubt

I miss me

STREAM

GRIEF

EXIT LIFE

lean

Lyrics:

Too much on my mind, I had to learn to keep it out of sight
Soon as I let my guard down, they're asking me if I'm alright
“Yeah I'm fine”, I reply as I fake a smile
From time to time, it's real but in reality it's been a while
Since I had some peace of mind
You wouldn't want a piece of mine
Trying to find solutions for emotions that I can't define
Or should I say I can't recall
Barely feel anything at all
I find I'm always waiting for the fall

It's gonna be alright
Take care 
When it's all too much to bear
Everything you wanted
Don't you know you've got it right there 
Long nights
Nightmares
Life don't fight fair
Look inside my mind
You might not like what you find there

Yeah, yeah
Lost myself one day and I'm still trying to find my way
Try to explain it but I never find the words to say
Searching everyday for ways to take my mind away
From the darkness, now I figure that it's here to stay
But it's okay
Honestly I'm quite acquainted
I learned from my mistakes, it takes its toll when I fake it
Used to think I'd never make it
Now every chance, I take it
If this is the hand I'm dealt then I'll play it

It's gonna be alright
Take care 
When it's all too much to bear
Everything you wanted
Don't you know you've got it right there 
Long nights
Nightmares
Life don't fight fair
Look inside my mind
You might not like what you find there

Suitcase

NTHN