Welcome back to -Ass Rap Battles! Today we have a battle of ghosts that, according to legend, communicate to the living through paper. Enjoy!

Fightmarker as Charlie
Commander Jacob as Smitty
Written by Commander Jacob
Mixed by Fightmarker
Prod. by Allrounda

-LYRICS-

Charlie (0:18)
Yo! If a skeleton thinks he’ll win with spooky scary songs
There must be one thing in your drinking hat; Smitty WerbenJagerbombs
I’ll blare loud, your boneheads should be scared now
They should’ve left you with your hat; rotting in a warehouse
I’ll let the gallows drop and snare ya
Porque eres más débil en esto juego de la lapicera
A crab trashed your graveyard, no way we'll see you Float
You were number one, like the piss I've taken on your tombstone

Smitty (0:40)
Limit your words to what’s on your paper, recite that
Cuz kid, that was disgusting, I just want the mic back
This Doodlebob ouija board couldn't even start to harm me
So if my skeletons attack, Good Luck Charlie Charlie
A Mexican kid with a white-ass name? That’s preposterous 
I won’t stop till your soul’s crossed off the top of my shopping list
I'm like a pencil in your challenge, you can blow me, dick face
Here lies your hopes and dreams of being more than cheap clickbait!

Charlie Charlie vs Smitty Werbenjägermanjensen | Half-Ass Rap Battle

Happy Holidays yo.

Written & edited by: CreeperPasta
Mixed by: Masteredit
Light as: Santa Claus
MetaMachine as: Melchior
SpideyFam as: Gaspar
ShadowZel as: Baltazar

Santa Claus: (0:24)
Ho Ho Ho! Now let's get down to business!
I checked once, I checked twice. You're all three on my diss list
Now tell me, you group of misfits;
What are you gonna do y'all three against the almighty Father Christmas?
I've faced many challenges, but… The Three Stooges from the Bible?
Even Pepsiman was a better choice of a rival
You should take out your texts to write these new holy verses
"Play nice before I spit facts like your god gave people curses."

Three Wise Kings: (0:48)
Dashing through the snow, on a one-horse open sleigh
Our journey was interrupted by a man with overweight
Between the trespassing and allegations, I can't tell which is worse
Put aside the cookies and milk; you're gonna eat those words.
We follow a path for our lord and saviour in need
You claim to be a saint, yet you use Christmas for your greed
Children have to be nice just for pieces of plastic? Come on!
I've seen better delivery from a drone of Amazon
God told us he ain't happy with that factory of yours
I'm pretty sure nothing jolly is happening behind closed doors.
We're royalty, yet humble. Only blessed by our lord
Your biggest act presence is a fat, sweaty guy at the mall
You fill children with expectation, then bring socks and Poly Station
If I see you near my home, I'mma call the police station
Our gifts have more value than anything you have at your store.
Gold! Incense! Myrrh! Now tell us, what have you brought?

Santa Claus: (1:37)
I have presents within me! I have cheer, I have toys! 
You only targeted a baby, I focus on all the girls and boys
I also have a gift for you, is a piece of my wisdom too:
Next time, you should choose better at what kind of king you should listen to.
(Singing) Santa Claus, on his sleigh! Jingle all the way!
I'm celebrated worldwide, you only have Spain! (Only Spain? Wow!)
Yes, and guess what? We're not so different after all
From the letters, cookies, milk, even the fat guys on the mall!
You do what I've been doing for years! Oh my heavens!
Mrs. Claus! Heat the oven! We're getting served sloppy seconds!
I can go to all people's homes in just a couple of hours
These wizards disappoint me. Minus 10 points for Hogwarts
You follow a shooting star? You should fly away like Rudolf
Because my Christmas cheer can sure beat any trick you pull off

Three Wise Kings: (2:25)
We follow a shooting star, yet your future ain't looking bright.
Jingle the bell twice if you think you're playing Walter White.
When it comes to bringing the heat, you should shut your mouth.
Down below your floors, the North Pole is heading South.
You don't seem to taste the feeling. This Coke product was watered down
Since when it comes to the poor, Santa ain't coming to their town
That said, we've had enough. Let's put an end to this fight.
We wish you all a Merry Christmas, and of course, a good night!

Santa Claus vs The Three Wise Kings - Rap Off!

Khandaq's Ruler blessed with the power of the Egyptian gods fights against the retired Israeli Super Soldier. Which of these Mighty Adams will triumph in this conflict in the Middle East?

Titanium1208 as Black Adam
Adam Sandler (ASSRB/DRB) as Zohan
Thumbnail by SPM1000 (Subscribe to Zuprem4cy)
Beat produced by Baghira
Mixed by Raichous 
Written by R the Writer



Black Adam: 
The timelines are converging, my power is surging
And if there's a terrorist in need of a purging
Send me to hurt him, then like his post, I'll desert him
Hell, Superman can't fight me alone, my win is certain
Amon gives me strength, Aten sends me higher
Zohan meanwhile's sent to fight against Rob Schneider
An Immortal as your enemy just means you're marked for death
Make you hurt like you do kids, so much for a moral IDF

Zohan: 
I don't want to fighting, but if you want let's do this
Send a bolt of lighting, I bounce it off my tuchus
My words alone can break you, cause friend you're clearly mental
With a few quick swipes I'll make you, the saltiest of pretzels
You don't mess with the Zohan even on his final mission
No plague is sicker than the lines I'll spit on this Egyptian
Your stories grow duller with earth's Infinite Crisis
Set you free after insulting me, but I'm still taking Isis

Black Adam: 
All I thought about as I sat through your vernacular
Is the bullshit people spew when they say Sandler's worst was Dracula
Sun you with Ra rhymes, the weaker Adam can't oppose this
My bolts will burn your bush, it'll start to call for Moses
Whoring yourself out's the climax of your tale's action
While I defend Khandaq til there's more red on me than Batson
You don't have my respect nor do you even amuse me
Maybe that's why this worthless hero can't score more than a movie

Zohan: 
My strategy is solid no matter how foes change
Dismantle you like a machine gun in close range
Enough about the Rock I'm the one who stacks the paper
Ask the ladies who went Zohan, even Black here is not greater
Oh how the mighty fall, I'll beat you to a disco banger
But still you'll keep your anger even when it's all B'Seder
I just make people silky smooth, can you not understand?
Maybe you'll wish you were like me, next time you go Shazam

Black Adam Vs Zohan - Rap Battle

Sheldon Voiced By Matt Raichous
Spencer Voiced By  RaccoonBroVA
Thumbnail By Oofie
Mixed By Matt Raichous
Written By Jenni No Mercy
Additional Help By Cri and Anthony Rigatanthoni


BEAT: Old School Slim Shady Type Beat / Weird Funny Hip Hop Rap Beat "Kiss My Ass" Prod. ILL Fortune





Sheldon:

Leonard! Did you call the FBI?
Looks like Quantico sent the OCD P.I.
I would be impressed by your skills on the street
But they won’t help you find how I kill the beat(Bazinga)
I got lyrical theory, scientifically I’m superior
Check the Emmys I got, your show is just inferior
You were growing up delirious, a schizophrenic time bomb
Show was such a bygone, it’s being preached by my mom
You use science as a gimmick
For the magic that you use to fail to pick up women
And It should be a given, getting the fans adoring
But somehow you can make chasing criminals boring
You think I’m jealous, you captured tons of felons?
While I’m still here pulling crowds as Young Sheldon
But I should probably tell him in this match, I got this
My raps are so addicting, you can call them dilaudid.

Spencer:

Hotch? Rossi? This doesn’t seem right.
The MO of our guy says he doesn’t like to fight
But he’s actually here. Trying to get me riled
You wanna play games? Let’s start the profile
A wordy nerd pushing up into his 30s
Ego makes him think he’s worthy, but in truth he’s undeserving
Of a flurry of appraisal his fans just overused
Like the laugh track you abuse to tell them they’re amused!
For us geeks, friends are hard to find.
Which is why it’s baffling you insult yours all the time
I was tortured and shot, needing a cane to walk
But that wasn’t as painful as listening to you talk
Thinking you’re the Apex human is confusing
I drop bombs like Garner, you got twice his delusions!
I push passed my fears, you run away when you’re frightened
You’re Friends with Flags? Time to throw up the white one

Sheldon:

Sorry Reid, I’m disproving your theory
Think you make an impact, let’s look back at our series
(Heh heh) In less time I was made into an icon
Comedy even tighter than the sweater vests you try on
Tried proving your tough, but not effective
When your whole crew treats you like the junior detective
You strive to find happiness just to watch it all end
Left a hole in your heart and your dead girlfriend

Spencer:

You can claim that my life is a tragedy
But really if you ask me, the only thing that’s sad to see
Is you actually convince some lonely girl to marry you
Surprised you didn’t flee, Smarter guys are always scaring you!
And you’ll need more than catchphrases to faze me
It’s crazy they let your show’s writing be lazy
So as you fame fades, there’s no point in faking it
This win isn’t your spot, ‘cause I’m the one taking it

Sheldon Cooper Vs. Spencer Reid - Jenni's Jammin' Battles

King K. Rool:
My ship crashed onto an island, surrounded by pigs
You swines must be sick if you're egg-napping kids
Coming at the croc with cannons? Your mission should abort
While I’m stealing bananas you’re setting off amber alerts
Should wallow your Beard in the Mud along with your sus Minions!
More bloodshot than Red, you don’t fake friendship with this villain!
Taking your crimes to space? Who do you think you're bossin' ?
Your verse won't get a sequel from the rap Bombs that I'm droppin'
After a 9-year hiatus, you Reloaded to match my might?
But as a boxer I am a pro in delivering punchlines!
My raps are a Barrel Blast blowin’ up like TNT
But your island’s frozen over, call it a Tropical Freeze

Leonard & Ross:
You’re an odd species, Ross! What is that?
Sorry sir, I don't know... an alligator with a hat?
Pretty much since nobody takes his kingship seriously
When I’m done you’ll be forgotten just like your entire history
I’ll put you in the slingshot and throw you back where you belong
Since singing little diddy’s is how you also lose to Kongs
You’re a boxer so you’d think you’d hit hard with what you pack
But take one step into Smash, and you lose to Little Mac
You might be a “scary” pirate with those bananas that you took
But don’t tick off this captain or you’ll end up on a hook
If you lose to brainless monkeys then you won’t beat me at all
The only time he ran home with a victory was in baseball...

Cast:
MidgeChamp as King K. Rool
Light as Leonard
SPM1000 as Ross
Written by SPM1000 and DonivideR
Mixed by Light
Beat by Kustom
Special thanks to Dani

King K. Rool vs. Leonard - Mini Melee

King Mewtwo as Joseph Joestar
RaccoonBroVA as Charlotte Katakuri

Beat Produced by: InsaneBeatz
Written by: Danii
Mixed and Mastered by: Danii
Special Thanks to: GamingPlush64

Lyrics:

Joseph:
I’m paired with a no-manner, sweet-eating kid?
Already beat up cops, now I gotta hand it to this pig
Who’s a man named Charlotte that is rocking that red hair
This fake biker makes Tequila Joseph feel like some fresh air
Tell me how we get there, fighting you’s no biggie
With them shark teeth, I’ve seen better lethal bites from Iggy
So while this kid’s getting bullied for sitting there looking pretty
I’m in Italy getting more cake than your whole fucking city

Katakuri:
What an unworthy foe, but now I’ll strike back
So start the tea party, I know your british ass would like that
Bein buddies with Nazis is really quite the big fish
How’s this motherfucker racist but cannot speak english?
Second in command to the Yonko Big Mom
Take the one you’re simping for and I could leave that bitch gone
Keep that Suzie close to you before I’m dropping bodies
But shit, I’ve seen better partners from Pudding and Sanji
And from what the future lies, Epstein doesn’t live well
Unlike him, he goes Nigerundayo with his kid
Hell, the donuts on his neck is probably driving you circles
I’ll beat you up and make you die alone, Hermit Purple

Joseph:
The fact that I’ll end up alone is really quite the fantasy
I’m a fan favorite while your fanclub’s in your family
And thankfully there’s nothing I can truly embrace
So you should do nothing with these cuts like they’re on Brulee’s face
You’ll need a better scarf after I keep your words in check
When I catch a dub so big, it’d probably fit half your neck
So your Haki’s doing nothin’ with my Hamon, take these bullets
‘cause I bet the next thing you’re gonna say is…some bullshit

Katakuri:
Make you cry like Esidisi, I’d say that’s just peachy
Gotta wear that mask again to breathe, see
I’m crushing it like Caesar, but I guess that you knew little
But thanks for the honors on Joseph’s second funeral

Joseph Joestar vs. Charlotte Katakuri - #14

JesseBox as Vert
Special Inquisitor Rayyan as Shamrock Shake
Written by JK03 
Chiseled by Special Inquisitor Rayyan
Mixed by Special Inquisitor Rayyan
Edited by Special Inquisitor Rayyan
Beat by Anywaywell
Beat rearrangement by Special Inquisitor Rayyan
Cover art by JK03
Special thanks to JK03

Vert (0:15): 
Oh my, am I seeing this right? It seems that this drink here’s attempting to dunk me
Made for St. Patrick’s Day but stepping up to me? You must be quite unlucky
Polluting tummies, the deity of diabetes, while this deity is repping the Xbox
A Vanilla shake with a dose of green, you really put the “sham” in “shamrock!” (Ohh!)
You got no abilities, mine are countless! Came from the Windy City, but I got the wind prowess  
Cower in shame, ‘cause your limited offers couldn’t keep a single McDonald’s crowded!
You dropped the citrus flavor, but your lack of fans must be leaving you sour
Now I am leaving all of your poor contents spilled once you see this CPU’s true power!
This cold drink’s Victory’s looking Iffy, should’ve known challenging me is blasphemy
You might have the “Mc” in your café, but I’m the real HDD MC!
Chilling up here in Celestia, while you can’t reach my height, call it Vert-igo!
Couldn’t handle my flow, so go and put an O between your initials

Shamrock Shake (0:59):
Oh no, a Barbie doll wants to fight! This milkshake’s totally shakin’!
Your games barely make a profit, while McDonald’s rolling in the green I’m makin’ (Woo!)
Talk about fanservice, jeez, you literally shove them in the face!
This dirty per-Vert will be wiped clean, guess you could call me Shamwow Shake!
I’m having this eyesore shut down; I don’t need a Red Ring of Death
‘Cause what I’m spitting is sweet pudding flow, guess you could call me  Nep-Nep!
Your skill’s like your sister ‘cause she’s nonexistent; you’re stealing siblings just for a connection?
Serving my bars fresh like it’s mint condition while your style’s more broken than a Kinect, son!
You’re fixated with playing your games, you would ditch your country to be wasting away
And it goes without saying, I’ve got lines for days while you only got weebs pining over your shape! 

Vert (1:36):
Now you’re truly pushing your luck, flopped worse than your sundae product (Yeah!)
The only kind of drip you’ll ever get is green artificial syrup! 

Shamrock Shake (1:43):
Bitch, I stay chill out the counter, you get overheated from my abusive words
So don't lose your nerve when you're stepping to me or I'm gunning you down like Lil Uzi Vert! (Ha!)

Vert (1:51):
How much longer do we have to continue this foolish battle?
‘Cause your bars are so Blanc and basic, battling you’s not worth the hassle! (Nope!)
Drink from you? It’s like having a McFlurry alongside some toothpaste
I’m sorry, my dear, but I always preferred tea as a drink anyway

Shamrock Shake (2:05):
(Hey!) Your personality falls flat, more vanilla than me at best, man!
You got shares so low that Chika’s the only one who’s giving you some attention, damn
Your franchise’s on the decline ‘cause they’d rather rehash your first game three times
So 4GO the win and forfeit, I just took this bore of a goddess offline! (Ohh!)

Vert vs. Shamrock Shake. SIR Rap Battles Sidequests (ft. JesseBoxVO)

Del Lago vs. Big Bertha - Royale Rap battle!

Skitzy as Del Lago

Joosh as Big Bertha

Mixed by Jort

Flowtest by Jofinity

Thumbnail by Special Inquisitor Rayyan 

Chiseled by Special Inquisitor Rayyan 

Writers:
King Ducky

Writing assistance:
E-man
Futur3f1lmm4k3r 

Beat prod. Ihaksi (U-boat)

(0:17) Del Lago:
Here's comes the guardian of the lake, here to blow you out the water
I can hold my own; no mistake! While you're just Cheep Cheep fireball fodder!
The area I inhabit surrounds me with water but I can still spit fuego 
Cause I'm the best at constructing bars; you can call me Dal Lego 

You're just a fish, like most of Bowser's goons, I'd rather face, Bloopers, Splounders, Foos 
Yet im against a clown who could go down with just a round or two
But I'll just need one power dude to freaking plough through you 
called a fire flower oh, one shot from that and then you're screwed!

Just one slap from my hand and you'll go flying then drop in a free fall
Though I shouldn't expect much from a big mouthed purple beach ball
I'm a legendary beast! Amazing hunting skills like no other
While they only call you Cheep Chomp since you're a Cheap Cheep recolor! 

Nobody could even take you seriously, you know you've got the loss, right?
Should've warned this appetizer that I don't go easy on nooby's 
Now I've ended you in round one, this battle was easier than your boss fight
I knew this wasn't worth my time once I found you in the Mario movie! 

(1:01) Big Bertha:
After I come into the fray, your dead body will leave no trace!
There's only two of us here and I ain't taking second place
So shut your mouth and listen to my phenomenal bars
And take all of these verbal harpoons right to your face!

The Mario games break banks, this enormous fish is a tank
I grew to be what I am, you've got Las Plagas to thank
Disposed of losers in one bite and wrose to my rank
You're not a hunter, the villagers feed you like a fish in a tank! 
Soon Leon came around and killed you, down ya sank
My remedys and rhymes display how sick I am, i'm so dank
And well if I have to be frank you definitely smell
All that sewer water ya drank must be causing all that stank 

Saddler infected this salamander; turned it into a huge nerd
And now this commander's forced to slander a loser lookin like Gigante's turds
Oh and Judging by all of that footage that I saw
the expression is a thorn in your side, not a spear in your jaw! (Nope!)

(1:45) Del Lago:
Did anybody ever warn this clown to not shoot at the lake?
I mean, you’re such an easy target that anyone can take
You trying to rap against me just makes you look dumber 
At least I get defeated by a trained professional; you die to a plumber

(1:58) Big Bertha:
Stop already, you really don't want me to get pissed
But I guess I won't be considering all the shots ya fired missed
After Moreau appeared everyone forgot you exist
Since he bit off your schtick but did way better at it! 

Del Lago vs. Big Bertha - Mario vs. Anything! [ft. Skitzy & Joosh]

Al Capone vs Harry Warden:
They commited murders on Valentine's Day

All In Rap Battles, or AIRB, is a fanmade rap battle series run by MaviKartal2003. This is the 2nd battle to get an audio. Happy Valentine's Day

Alaskan Sam as Al Capone
Cole as Harry Warden
Written by MaviKartal2003
Mixed by Oofie the Rap Dude
Thumbnail by Samuel Grasman E. Samuel
Beat by Anywaywell

Announcer:
All In Rap Battles
Al Capone
Vs
Harry Warden
Begin

HW:
Roses are red, violets blue, many men are dead, you’ll be too
Cause your press image is see through, pizza face without the seafood
Canadian but craving for the blood of fools who’s raving
In duration of the valentine, their hearts I’ll be claiming

Hanniger Under-mining Co.ns like you like I’m Elliot Ness
The teacher puncher’s getting schooled, get back to library, nescient mess
More washed up than my victims inside of laundry machine
Pay Ala John Fisher a visit cause your operation is fitting

AC:
Eat your heart out Herobrine cause you’re giving chills to no spine
I own a soup shop so you dine by getting served hot flow of mine
You’re Axel-lent, that I doubt, since you hand enemies more than dub
And they say that I’m lout, for crying out loud, you’re that dumb

You killed Happy, stabbing him in the eye, must be gory
Like an allegory for people who have seen your 3D movie
Keep getting censored for the best, even with syphillis I get more sex
than this Ghostface wannabe, no trace of not phoned in lines or flex

HW:
Hey Snorky, don’t be cocky! You have syphilis, remember?
Using a Colt 45 for shots, means you spit no ember
To be the top bootlegger, became Torio’s top boot licker
You speakeasy with the money but yet to give good liquor

Got Alcatraz the Cage bars, unless you’re one of Anglins
Or Frank Morris, unlike tax, from that there’s no evading
Gangster left you in darkness cause you no longer Moonshine
You’re not coming again but still be my bloody valentine

AC:
Why so balls to the wall? Guess my men put you in your place
Beneath the cop outfit are my men who’d cut the foreplays
With this methane gas you spat you’re no different than a carcase
Masks save face from the hot gas but not from wrath of Scarface

As a gang war commenced I broke men like Bugs Moran
So stick to miner (minor) offence, or you be the Bunny on my pan
Roasted, I rose to top, unlike me ya ditched
After hitting rock bottom, so take the L, capiche?

Announcer:
Who won?
Who’s next?
You decide
All In Rap Battles

Al Capone vs Harry Warden - AIRB

These artists have more then their fair share of issues, but which one will have the zest to beat out the other!

Video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B93FMHwHlYI

►Salvador Dali voiced by:
King Mewtwo

►Van Gogh voiced by:
Zawesome

►Mixed by:
Oofie

►Thumbnail made by:
Commander Jacob

Beat by:
Audionetwork

Co-Written by: Jenni No Mercy, Chandler, MaviKartal2003

►►►►►►►►►►►►►►►►►►►►
Salvador Dali Verse 1
----------------------------------------------
It’s Dali, hey! I’m ballin’ HEY!
“Avida Dollars” keeps it real, this fool is lamer than Monet!.
I can’t have wannabes begging at my dinner party!.
I’m paying with my sketches, cause who would cash a Dali!
And when it comes to ladies, I’m strutting with the sickest!
Thought your gal was all ears, but it was never witnessed.
You free-loaded off your brother cause you couldn't nine to five.
There was no friend or family that could stop your sad decline..
While I’m drugs, Chupa Chups, so high that I can’t breathe!
No need for nose candy when I’m staring at your paint bleeds!
My mustache lives on, you Van Choked on your last run
I own red vineyards, but you could only sell ONE!

Van Gogh Verse 1  
----------------------------------------------
You pick on the little guy, does that make you feel strong?
But a praying mantis scares? You were a Freud all along!
Now, I’m not a prying man, but I know my hands scare him
Didn’t need school to break-through, you got dropped like your hair did!
Speaking of a close shave, we’re cutting close with past names!
So as your brother revived, you must live with past shame!
Built your own museum, your god complex increased!
I must ask how a mustache became your most important piece...
Persisted through Time but your clocks couldn’t measure..
My “Almond Blossoms” started sprouting through your damn desert!
People are “Loving Vincent” with each stroke of a “Starry Night.”
While your film was left butchered by that one dude from Twilight!

Salvador Dali Verse 2
----------------------------------------------
It's surreal, the appeal Dali brings when he's revealed...
A god above Galileo, your Church can’t appeal
A crateful of hard work thrown out by his mum!
Only went mainstream within the walls of the asylum.
When he’s painting his face, he pulls out all the stops!
But it seems Gauguin didn't teach you how to take shots!
You got cold feet when you were at the end of your line!
There was no Doctor, Who could save you in time...

Van Gogh Verse 2  
----------------------------------------------
Oh please, the Surrealist movement disowned you!
The only Post Impression here was your hours getting stoned, dude!
I paint from the soul, you pump them out: shit factory!
Dali revels in his evil, I think I’ll call him Dick Dastardly!
An obsession with sex, while the act? You can’t stand it!
So this twit gets his kicks from fem Hilter fan fic!
You went down the Rabbit Hole, a jack-off of a playwright...
I defiled this Nazi! Like a psychic to his gravesite!

Van Gogh Vs Salvador Dali ❰Rap Battle❱

Penn Voiced By Jenni No Mercy
Jay Voiced By RaccoonBro
Mixed By Matt Raichous
Written By Jenni No Mercy
Thumbnail By TheDangerStranger
Additional Help By Skitzy, Cri, Pixel Chris

Beat: [FREE] SKI MASK THE SLUMP GOD TYPE BEAT "SAX" (prod. ESKRY)


Penn:

Ladies and Gentlemen! We really hope you’re settled in!
We’re Penn and Teller, and we’re ready for battling
Against a couple slackers lacking in the brain matter
Not windows, but we’ll leave a couple pains shattered
We got jokes, and magic packed with emotion
The only talent you two got is blowing smoke, kid
So you’ll be left choking on your home grown clouds
Tried the reboot craze just to scrape up clout!
You’re the View Askewniverse’s worst!
Think saying mother fucker over and over’s a verse
Your fans might say that Dogma really was a big deal
Too bad Weinstein has his thumbprint on the film reel!
And your attempts with the ladies was crazy
Law breaker wanted Justice and fatty was Chasing Amy
So let’s see if the budget Bill and Ted can really spit
But you’re all smoke and mirrors, and frankly it’s Bullshit

Jay:

Hey Bob, looks like we’re battling hypocrites
Weird hearing fat jokes coming from Mister Bitch Tits
You’d better quit this. We keep it blunt on tracks
You think you shits can spit? Well now we’re gonna Strike Back!
It’s Jay and Bob, we’re obviously the dream team!
We even steal the screens with cameos back in Scream 3!
Believe me, we do find it ironic
That you’re getting smoked out by Bluntman and Chronic!
We’re the classic, the fact is you’re just has beens!
Careers burning faster than the ash from a hash pen!
And actually? What really looked worse? I can’t tell
Between your spots on the Apprentice or SNL!
Your stage presence? It’s evident that it’s dog shit
You're playing Harry Potter while we’re busy making profits!
You wanna top this? We’re just too much to handle!
Leave a couple farts cut up, like their names are Mark Hamill!

Penn:

We’re known to tell lies, but that verse was just wrong
We rip the rule book. You’re taking rips from bongs!
By the end of this song, we’ll sock you like a Cock Knocker!
Want girls but your attitudes are real cock blockers!
And no amount of your film’s show exposure
Could convince Kevin Smith to give your story real closure
Stand in front of the store more. You two are just clueless!
You gave it your all, but still, you didn’t fool us

Jay:

Mother fuck, your effort was just a bust!
With a verse drawn out even longer than Desert Bus!
There’s no taking on us. These geezers are too dated
Forget Shaq! We hang with Affleck and Damon!
And what’s crazy ‘bout you trying to be a vocalist
From socials to your shows, you’re just over blown socialists!
And now, we’re done owning this, we’re leaving you robbed.
You mother fucks got crushed. Love Jay and Silent Bob

Penn and Teller Vs. Jay and Silent Bob - Jenni's Jammin' Battles

Home of Lame-Ass Rap Battles, its side series Half-Ass Rap Battles, and maybe the occasional cover of someone else's battle.