Jenni No Mercy as Ed
RaccoonBroVA As Sheen

Beat by Tristan
Written by Jenni No Mercy
Mixed by Raichous
Thumbnail by Tony Rigatoni
Additional Help By Raichous 


SHEEN
You wanna face the Sheen-ster? Well he can be quite mean, sir!
With disses that hit harder than both Kevin and your sister!
I’m stopping world destruction, you can’t find cash for sugar
I wouldn’t even pick you if you were the last booger!
You wanna step up, chump? I got the Eye of the Tiger!
Don’t need the Candy Maker for me to spit fire!
Because Estévez gets the best of this!
You’d need your elevator to get your bars higher!
Hated by your whole town, every scam causing drama
So Lumpy, lame and soft, Carl thought you were a llama!


ED
I’m up against the best dummy from Nicktoons? Fantastic!
It’s great to finally meet the gu- Oh wait, you’re not Patrick!
I am the Ed-est of the Eds! Face Monobrow? You’re dead, man.
Your jokes remind me of Double D: Boring and dead pan!
Ed is a monster, you’re just a castaway
Without your luck? You wouldn’t last a day.
Gave you a spinoff, left fans of the past ashamed
Act like you’re Jimmy ‘cause You Gotta Blast away!
Run back scared to Retroville! The Ed boy gives a lickin’
But I'll still have a soft spot for you: I love CHICKENS!

SHEEN

That's the best you got? That backfired like Eddy wrote it!
You must’ve swallowed a jawbreaker, Ed, because you’re choking!
I thought Dimsdale was 2D, but nothing compares to the Cul-de-sac
Your friends wanna take a page from Plank: their personalities are flat!
For all the girls you loved before? You never had a chance with them
Meanwhile I’d risk my life for Libby, and still make time to dance with them
The Big Picture is, your show blows! You couldn’t be more dreary!
You winning this fight is just as likely as The Purgatory Theory!


ED
Do not taunt the Claw! I’ll beat you in a jiffy!
Can I break tracks like I break houses? You bet your sweet bippy!
I just wanna be everyone’s chum, but your voice I just can’t stand
You’re less of an Ultra-lord and more of a Junk Man!
With Chunky bars, I’m Puffed up! Winning is a piece of cake! 
I’m rising high above you: 5’9” give or take!
Don’t need a pebble in my shoe for my raps to get crazy!
I’m done with this no neck chump. I got the gravy!

Ed Vs. Sheen(Prod. By Tristan)

Omnipresent   (FNF OST)

The Joker : Quizzique 
Sideshow Bob : Titanium1208

Written by Kamren
Beat Prod. : Anywaywell
Mixed by Special Inquisitor Rayyan

Sideshow Bob :
Oh? What's this? Akrham's insane clown without the posse to abuse?
Just... a heretic. He should stay there if he thinks he'll fit my shoes
'Cuz if you're looking to face off, I'll happily indulge
Mark this twice you’ve traded self respect with skulls
You’ll never run a track with me, democratic scum
Couldn’t handle the truth if he'd knew where he came from
A circus act, losin’ to a bat
Fell into a vat, and well... That’s that!
A performance I’d die for, a truth I’ll tell
Ledger heard the request and got sent to hell

The Joker :
That’s funny! I've sworn you tried gassing me up
But this time, you'll be the one that's gonna get mugged 
You and Harley would get along, playing second fiddle
To the Clown Prince of Crime! I'll sign your blood in my initials
God you're so tone deaf, that singing pours my ears
And killing that brat took how many years?!
Now that's a punchline I'd actually laugh at
But you were shot out of that canon, what a mishap!
I'm aware of how I fell off, but unlike you
I wouldn't be caught dead swimming in that gene pool
Your job's out of the window but here's the funniest bit
YOU. ARE. BRITISH! (Ha!)

Sideshow Bob :
Ughh.. It's such a pity
That much like your teeth, you can't stop jittering
Debted the IRS from all the fraud you're committing 
Call me that little flower, acid's all I'm spitting
Might as well be Puddin' with how much you're getting roasted
Bars drop, you'll be Red Hood again and end up exploded
Sad you got no hospital to cover for that sickness
You'll disappear from Gotham's sight, just like your pencil, bitch
I'd say you don't know Jack about being outshined
But if you're akin to Cecil, you'll prove me right
Next time you talk about scars, tell ‘em I gave you those
Ironic, the Emperor just became a Sideshow

The Joker :
Why so serious, Bob? Did I hurt your ego that bad?
You'll go up in smoke! Worse than a cigarette can
Pull my finger, Bob, I promise it won't hurt
Can't stab you much more than your wife and twerp
Matter of fact.. How about I show you a magic trick?
It'll bring the curtain down and you'll drop like your parents did!

The Joker vs Sideshow Bob - Rap Battle! (ft. Quizzique and Titanium1208)

Welcome back to Half-Ass Rap Battles! In this 100 Hour Challenge special, we have exploding video game enemies; Bob-omb from Super Mario Bros vs Creeper from Minecraft. Enjoy!

TheMonarchy as Bob-omb
YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/@OliTheMonarchy / https://www.youtube.com/@monarchybattleraps

Commander Jacob as Creeper
YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/c/CommanderJacob

-LYRICS-

Bob-omb (0:09)
Yo. EXPLODING IN! Buddy you crawled on the wrong land
They put me up against a Creeper? Aw man!
Double Dash away before this Bob-omb Blasts
You’ll go from face on a backpack to laid in a body bag
Why attack the player? You’re one in the same
Either of you see a pussy and start running away
And if you wanna act hostile, I hope you can camouflage
Or I’ll splatter you on the trees; make you look like you’re back to moss
You both cause destruction, but lemme tell ya something
Only difference between you and TNT? You’re ugly
No back and forth, I jump straight in as I’m attacking 
I layed out this pig, put him back in the right axis

Creeper (0:40)
BOOM BOOM BOOM- that’ll be you when you provoke me
I’ll chew you up and spit you out like Yoshi
Match my explosions? You’d need at least two
So if you really wanna go, try to re-fuse
I’ll drop a track, I got a real bone to pick today
Bet your reflexes delayed like your Galaxy minigame
Spectate and realize I see green in two different ways
While you’re on the Battlefield, waging wars with a civil race
Walking or Charging, I’mma come for your head
When you’re falling from the sky, it’s the most Sudden of Deaths
(Let’s go) House of Boom? Yeah, your mama was in that
Just stay on the ground; I’m who’s leaving an impact

-CREDITS-

Written by Commander Jacob and TheMonarchy
Beat and additional writing help by swizkii
https://www.youtube.com/@swizkii
Mixed by Light
Additional art by HoodieMasterr
https://www.youtube.com/@hoodiemasterr

Feedback by TheMonarchy, swizkii, HoodieMasterr, and SimplyRazzy
Shout out to Walk and JustGamer

Thanks for listening
-ComJac

Creeper vs Bob-omb | Half-Ass Rap Battles

ORIGINALLY UPLOADED ON 10/31/2021

LYRICS

Evil Otto:
Intruder alert! It’s a species we haven’t conquered
An entity detected with the coined term “Pocket Monster”
Well, the fact that you’re even here leaves me utterly stumped
Since Mew was left under the truck, and you? Thrown under the bus!
Don’t mess with Evil Otto
I got the mazes, flames, and gaze to leave you speechless, and all you really feel is sorrow
You say you sent kids to the hospital, but really? That’s comical
Since it’s like all the newer games, I don’t really follow
They say you’re an urban legend like you had any effect
But you’re only one when you’re sharing titles with Zekrom
This cabinet’s leaving you quartered, I think this reject ROM
Is setting up a Hypnosis since you’re getting slept on!

Creepy Black:
I’d advise for Ms. Pac-man to stay far
Before you’re another soul in Lavender’s graveyard
However, I don’t have to be scared of your mild verse
When your world sounds like another Pokemon that I would curse!
So know who you’re crossin’
This castaway rodent would leave Blue’s Raticate rolling inside of his coffin
Once a leader of your army, then all of your fame had decayed
Now a Silph Scope’s the only way I could log you in my database
I suggest you bounce back, wipe the smile and say nothing
My tower’s got you in a loop like you’re mashing the A button
You know that I stay haunting, so back up
‘Cause you’ll wish you were the person you were before you started this; Kadabra

Evil Otto:
Thinkin’ this smile is something you can wipe away?
Your only scare is having little kiddies scared while they lie awake
Thinking that your song’s deadly tool, but this weak blob-
Will see why Otto’s got a rep, when your heart and the beat drop
Hellbent on genocide? Man, Pokepastas are goldmines
Took so long to spit a line, even your protag’s an old guy
Your power’s phony, this beast outnumbers all your tower’s cronies
So once you’re kneeling down below me, I’ll have cut out this GHOST type!

Buried Alive:
I’d rather be lonely, hearing you makes me miserable
Yeah, you fight like a robot; completely predictable
If you attempted to upset me, then I’m feeling empty
Since we’ve got no beef, now I’ll eat the track like fresh meat
You’re in grave danger if you tread upon my land
So quit jumping or you’ll get jumped if you try to toss White Hands
Step to my gravestone, these spirits will lead a quick sweep
‘Cuz this manager’s been leveled, Buried Alive under six feet

CREDITS

ENNWAY as Evil Otto
Fightmarker as Random Berserk Enemy

Commander Jacob as Creepy Black
SimplyRazzy as Buried Alive
Freshy Kanal as Gastly

Written by Rabi
Beat prod. by Ihaksi
Mixed and Mastered by Freshy Kanal
Art by 3ple and Rabi
Cover art by Rabi

Evil Otto vs. Lavender Town Syndrome - Rap Battle

TheToppo as Napstablook and The Dealer
Written, mixed, cover art by TheToppo
Produced by InsaneBeatz
Special thanks:
SN00ZE
Mike Klubnika
Toby Fox
Freshy Kanal

[The Dealer verse 1]
Sign the waiver, let us begin the game
I’ll have to inject adrenaline if nap is in your name
I should give you a warning when I’ve competed with God
But if you’re really that clueless, I can tell you your odds…

It’s double or nothing but you have nothing to lose,
Nothing to gain, nothing more to double, you’ve been drawing nothing but blanks
Because when you come around you’re not live
Shells dead like your eyes and the rest of your design

Living in the Waterfall, it makes sense you’re washed up
You’re just like your cousin, you’re both down in the dumps
But when I pull out the magnifying glass and handcuffs,
Have the shotgun sawed off, your end will be abrupt.

[Napstablook verse 1]
Um… you do know you can’t kill ghosts, right?
Well… you’re not the brightest, that why your room has no light?
Wait… the room is visible so… there has to be…
Just… forget it… you get the point, you and your fans are no-lives

Looking like Zolphius if he started molding,
Had rusty nails for teeth and a cheap gun he was holding,
Turned to an alcoholic with the only hope he has in life
Being betting all his money away until he dies

Sorry… um… I didn’t mean to get so pressed
But when an ugly floating chainsmoker’s here, it makes sense
For anybody to be stressed, you aren’t very fun to look at
But maybe you could be like me and… put on a cool hat?

[The Dealer verse 2]
I’d smoke a cigarette but none of what you said hurt
Just like your fight with Frisk, you didn’t put in effort
I’d say more but there’s nothing else I can diss
Your whole personality’s a blank canvas

[Napstablook verse 2]
I wish I had a jammer so I could’ve skipped that verse
Honestly I didn’t see you as a threat at first
But… I heard your voice and my ears started to hurt
Well they would if I had ears… uhh you’re the worst

[The Dealer verse 3]
Me and you, we are dancing on the edge of life and death
Until one of us gets a lucky shot and end’s the other’s breath
You can cry all you want, but it still won’t hurt me
Always acting insecure but it isn’t going to deter me

[Napstablook verse 3]
You’re dirty and it’s not really something I would doubt, see…
You barely even said a single thing about me
You’re stuck in this room cause the game has you bound
You’ll fail like every other time, and I’ll win the third round

Napstablook vs The Dealer - Rap Battle

Chief Chilly vs. Chill Bill - Mario vs. Anything

TQ as Chief Chilly

Gnome as Chill Bill

Cover Art by Jort

Mix by Jort

Written by King Ducky

Chief Chilly:
Oh Chief Chilly!
Ill run you down, don’t be silly 
Beat a Dj with a freeze ray fore the Troll tweaks: singing 
Your memes dead and gone 
a Beef-headed pawn
themes’ set in stock
So go lip-sink in some cringy rhymes
BillyVa-nilli Ice!

Chill Bill:
Freeze! Hands in the air! My bad, whoops that
might get push back 
He’s demanded the heir? He can’t even jump
Chiefs stranded in there: beaten clean and popped

Defamed and quick-tempered you're whining
Disdain as the temperature rises
You'll be a puddle in a pothole
The end of your reign is a regular climate!

Chief Chilly:
For that your arrest is nigh but your trapped for the rest of time
so confess to them: you’re a beat-up peach fuzz and your. deaths. tonight.
What else can I jest you as? Detest the brief success you had?
Sure, hang your head up high… well, the best you can

Little slave
Bound to a crystal cage 
Sounds you have brittle strength 
While you blast one attack, something that a ground troop can whiff away
Bow you fad fickle flake
Pass away to blistering time 
As the game you live in died

Chill Bill: 
A crazy piece of snow with a crust-jammed moustache is facing me?
Maybe he makes a scene when Glazey sees my stash's greatest peaks!
The old weirdo dumps a mass of change when beat
His plunging balance is like the arena he jumps and smashes: below zero! 

I'd be using that spike on ya head or you'll wind up spiked off an edge brother
Ya might want a tip: Ice blocks shouldn't have frights of gelid water
I aim to freeze! You face a team and they dip you into a lake to sink
Guess he ain't the chief of a crew of Naval fleets

Chill Bill vs. Chief Chilly - Mario vs. Anything [ft. ThanosQauck & Gnome]

Buggy vs. King - Royal Rap Battle!

Danii as Buggy

Clarence The Duck as King

Written by King Ducky

Cover art by Tom Puffs

Mixed by Box

Buggy:
Your trembling sweat could drown any Devil fruit user
But next to the best you look a level too Loser (Ha!)
A Tiger Level Threat’s roaring, handing you a scratch, boring!
I don’t expect a back bone if you have no back story! 

Run to the washroom again (chop-chop!)
Then you can stop and reflect (chop-chop!)
On the hot water you’re in, 
From falsehoods to wazzing your pants!
I'm not stopping at that:
Your luck is a vest
But not for the dread
You’ve got bottled up in your head
Is it LogueTown were in? 
Because if it is, 
Another king’s
Off with his HEAD! (chop-chop-chop!)

King: 
(Oh god, what disaster have you entered this time?)
(At least i'm not as in-sensitive as his crew members designs!)
(I’ll just be passing him off, no need to act as I’m strong)
Just have to drown him out like the map he had dropped

Buggy:
Arggh!

(Oh I said that out loud!?!) uh..you think that can off me clown!?
How will you soar above the others if your feet can’t get off the ground?!
The Strawhats tossed his chopped up limbs into classic boxes!
Cut the comic relief down to size like an Ashcan-ned copy!

Buggy:
(*Sigh)
Why so strong all of a sudden, ya popping something?
(I thought all he was good at was pushing buttons!) 
Non-stop chop-chop! 
Flip him the bird, this is your swan song
Like how a bird flipped his apartment!
Now he clings to Saitama! 

(Bar Bar Festival!)

This patent figures actions bitter
And a scarred large fraud when their
King Engine sparks up to Heartthrob Sisters!

He buys time for others then rob their thunders
They should callhim “The Washroom Staller!“

While I still pull up in my Buggy buggy like SKKRT,
Know how much green money I’m worth?
Shocked he didnt bolt from my verse!
In his twenties, running is his only leg work! 

King:
*breathes in*
You're more of a burden to your posse!
Your story’s covered in cover stories!
You're short of some parts to ever mock me!
Cause Buggy’s balls got kicked, toppling his body!

For Rogers apprentice you seem stupid
Since you barely got out of the East Blue!
When Whitebeard had died 
I got his title!
When Whitebeard had died !
You caught it on live snails!

Taunting wild Crocodiles too dumb
He’d stock and pile you to a dune Buggy!

And how do you talk of thunder but look
You're the one that got struck 
A blunder for the LogueTown logbooks

He was a threat for eight episodes 
Less than a stepping stone
Then sent to fester holed 
Up in a cell alone 
If not for Luffy, you’d be as spotty and red as that big repellent nose!

Buggy vs. King - Royal Rap Battle! [ft. Danii & Clarence The Duck]

2Hot (BF- Mix) With Lyrics

[Intro]
Yeah…
You ever meet somebody so shiny, so polished…
But every time you tap that surface, it’s hollow as hell?
Mm.
Plastic queen vibes… let’s talk.

[Verse 1]
She pull up lookin’ flawless, drippin’ glitter off her skin,
But you touch it, it’s that silicone sheen, nothin’ real within.
All filters, all angles, all makeup, all scene,
Screamin’ royalty online but livin’ life like a meme.
She say she’s “rare”, she say she’s “goals”, she say she’s “better than your ex”,
But the moment you get closer, you see cracks beneath the flex.
Every crown she ever claimed was made of plastic dollar-store,
Actin’ bougie on the surface, but inside she’s insecure.
Tryna walk like she’s the moment, tryna talk like she’s the throne,
But every vibe she ever sold was somethin’ someone else had owned.
She copy energy, she copy dreams, she copy every trending thing,
But she can’t copy bein’ real, that’s the one she couldn’t bring.

[Chorus]
Damn, bitch is a plastic queen,
Shiny on the outside, empty in between.
Tryna act iconic but she stuck in the routine,
All that fake-ass royalty ain't what it seems.
Damn, bitch is a plastic queen,
Everything recyclable, nothin’ truly clean.
She built her whole kingdom on a temporary sheen,
And wonders why her throne ain’t never feel serene.

[Verse 2]
She talk about her “value”, but can’t face her own reflection,
So she edits every picture like she edit each confession.
She love attention more than healing, love the drama more than peace,
Love the chaos she created, then she blame it when she leaves.
She say men ain’t worth her time, but she measure hers by likes,
Livin’ in a highlight reel that only shows her Friday nights.
She ain’t real, she ain’t grounded, she’s a concept, she’s a brand,
More focused on appearances than holdin’ someone’s hand.
And me? I tried to see the woman buried underneath,
Tried to love what wasn’t perfect, tried to offer her release.
But you can’t save what ain’t present, can’t hold on to empty space,
Can’t build trust with someone scared of showin’ their own face.

[Chorus]
Damn, bitch is a plastic queen,
Shiny on the outside, empty in between.
Tryna act iconic but she stuck in the routine,
All that fake-ass royalty ain't what it seems.
Damn, bitch is a plastic queen,
Everything recyclable, nothin’ truly clean.
She built her whole kingdom on a temporary sheen,
And wonders why her throne ain’t never feel serene.

[Bridge]
I ain’t bitter, I ain’t petty,  I just finally see the truth,
A queen without her soul ain’t a queen, just somethin’ new to use.
You wrapped your heart in plastic, now you think you don’t feel pain,
But numbness ain’t protection, it’s just self-inflicted chains.

[Verse 3]
So go ahead, collect attention, go ahead and chase the spark,
But don’t pretend you royalty when you afraid of bein’ marked.
Real crowns come from battles, real strength comes from storms,
Not from tryna stay perfect or avoid your human form.
You ain’t evil, you ain’t broken, you just scared to be undone,
Scared to be without that image you’ve been hidin’ behind for fun.
But until you drop that armor, until you step into the scene
As yourself and not the copy, you’ll remain that plastic queen.

[Outro]
Yeah…
Fake throne, fake crown, fake reign…
But underneath all that plastic?
There’s someone real, if she ever chooses to show her face.
But that’s on her.
I’m gone.

Damn Bitch is a Plastic Queen

Das Letzte Opfer.mp3

Home of Lame-Ass Rap Battles, its side series Half-Ass Rap Battles, and maybe the occasional cover of someone else's battle.