Lyrics/Karaoke: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1J39r9avQ_azEmvSUqRjZJUkJ50bgtfoGzlUGw0wlxWI/edit
Written by Gengo the Cannoli King, B O R K, Rabi, Deegle, Jade, Dustin and MetaMachine
Adroit as J.D.
Evan as Ghostface
Beat by Dansonn
Mixed by Dustin
Thumbnail by Gengo the Cannoli King
Art by Bork
Hint for our next battle: "Pizza and Puppets"

JD vs. Ghostface

In the first episode of Half-Ass Rap Battles (the bonus spin-off of Lame-Ass Rap Battles) we have a pizza slice against a hamburger because why not, I had fun with it.

Written by Commander Jacob
Freshy Kanal as Pizza
Commander Jacob as Hamburger
Mixed by Freshy Kanal
Prod. by 2Deep

Pizza:
Come out the oven deep-dish when I got to rap a line
Cause you got no flavor like the fries you come with half the time
Reppin’ Italy critically. All your mascots disturbin’ me
I’ll have you drop in the ER, get your ass back to Germany
I have enough cheese. Get a taste, mate. Cream you, but don’t wanna taste mayonnaise
Rhymin’ supreme. Steppin’ to me and I’m havin’ ya bleed. Getting ketchup to spray, k?
Whatchu got, lettuce? Broseph, ya never toppin’ me
Go ahead and slice me up, that just means more people chompin’ me

Burger:
Hey, I placed an order, but it came with too much cheese, bruh 
I’ll need an extra-hot verse, I got a pizza to heat up
No way you can fuck with me. I out-pizza the hut, ya see?
If you wanna rat me out, I’ll send you back to Chuck E. Cheese
Got a red dot on you like a pepperoni, homie
Ordering pineapple’s the only way you be spittin’ grossly
Give ya girl my meat and make some bread. I’m a phenomenon
With you I’m intolerant, but no way more than Papa John

Pizza vs Burger | Half-Ass Rap Battle #1

(Note: due to an incident involving this battle, it will now be known as Horror vs Anything PILOT. Thank you for understanding.)

In this battle, the inventor of the phone, Alexander Graham Bell, faces off against Scream villain, Ghostface, in a battle of one who uses the phone for good versus one who uses it for evil. Who won? Who’s going next in Horror VS Anything? That’s up to you to decide, viewers!

Lyrics: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1bnFfzFHH_AuDHdtU7qoVKY7sBE2rCw0p3V8_62BXTAY/edit?usp=sharing

CAST:

Evan as Ghostface
(https://soundcloud.com/simplyrazzy)
(https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvFOI_C2OwIXLR09Zz5RvnQ)

Alex/J. Morris the Review Guy as Alexander Graham Bell
(https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfRZUTOJL1qAbDorCjlhGYQ)
(https://soundcloud.com/user-650786333-593076861)

Beat by Klimonglue
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC6xUOgH5Cp4qUi5KZvS2FPg

Mixed by DeegleNV

Thumbnail by Oofie The Rap Dude

Written by MC Fawful, Spidey Fam, and Derpiest Game-Blast

Additional writing help from Oofie The Rap Dude and JustGamer

Additional help with battle overall from Fightmarker and Snakebite126

Idea by Pete The Great

Alright I think that's it. Stay tuned for the next installment of Horror vs Anything!
-MC Fawful

Ghostface vs Alexander Graham Bell - Horror VS Anything (Pilot Episode)

Welcome back to Half-Ass Rap Battles! Today we have the monochrome LCD character against the monochrome LSD character; Mr. Game & Watch vs Grey Man. Enjoy!

Raichous as Mr. Game & Watch
Mr. Tibbs (Gridline Studios) as Grey Man

Written by Commander Jacob w/ help from Zawesome
Mixed by Light
Prod. by Marsad Men

-LYRICS-

Game & Watch:
Parachute in to win, it’s an icon you’re fighting, man
This Fire man throws bacon, eggs, and fine raps off a frying pan
Been Ball-ing from the start. Where’ve you been? I can’t tell
As an expert, I can say fame’s something you’ve never handheld
This rapping trampoline lander’s smacking you like a 9 hammer
And your win’s a crazier dream than those of all your programmers
Slenderman in a trench coat? He only has one mode: stalk
Mister, watching your game has got me watching my own clock

Grey Man:
A fat-nosed shadow thinks that he's fit for battle? Boy I'll laugh
When I have him tripping and he still tries to fight with oil cans 
Ring your bell for help! I’m Krueger of the PlayStation
Leaving beats and dreams corrupted. Still think it's an emulation?
Here’s the red Flagman; you’ll get slaughtered just from napping
It’s one of your two functions; learn it’s time to stop rapping
I Violently Diss-strict. The pain won’t leave when you wake up.
Even people who play Smash have forgotten you like a brain flush

Mr. Game & Watch vs Grey Man | Half-Ass Rap Battle #3

ah shit here we go again
welcome back to rap cypher!
Light as Shang Tsung
Alex the Beast as Mandarin
Beat produced by 2Deep
Thumbnail by CJ and Trakked
Mixed by Alex the Beast
Written by: Trakked

Battle:

Shang Tsung:
(Hm.) It has begun. Let us test your so-called might.
The predecessor of a legend yet still lacks the strength to fight.
Enter the Mandarin into my dark heart; and within there you'll find
You dealt with Stan Lee and Disney, now your soul is mine. (Ha!)
And you really think those rings make you special? You're but a glorified pimp
Mother's a prostitute, you're in solitude, so I'd be glad to give a glimpse
Of my power, you'll bask in nonexistence; if you wanna keep up persistence 
Like your namesake, you'll be peeled like an orange, another kombatant I've finished (Agh)
Wouldn't be enough for this sorcerer, yes? Kondemned to the Damned and tortured to death
Trapped in a Soulnado, filled with hate though, your whole life is a Tale of Suspense
 I never thought a better foe would come out of your son, only shows he is superior.
It's settled though, you've met with no allies, so you're just broken and inferior.

Mandarin:
Seems there's Big Trouble in Little China, best not keep this devil waiting
You're seeming Lo, Pan, so go, man, Annihilated like movie ratings
The greatest mind in the world against a slave to his king?
It's no wonder you're used to losing to Liu several times in the ring.
You fell down the charts like on Argus. (agh) A second Armageddon awaits
Being imprisoned by your superior only shows failing is your fate.
Call me the Dragon King, cause I whooped your ass down; better fit as a class clown
Those fatalities only show that your power's in the past now.

Shang Tsung:
My words sting like a cobra bite; your verse had no effect
You built up and destroyed yourself; a human Titanomech.
First started as a stereotype, but whitewashing made you worse.
Left a Stane upon your legacy; glad he finally ended this curse.

Mandarin:
Your only good trait is Identity Theft, but with all that, no Identity left
Your island's defunct as a Krypt, I'll debunk this until you realize this entity's best
Is unstoppable, you're dropping past your prime, though, no new timeline could decide 
The final resting place for the elderly, dismissed as a psycho, I will
Transport you to the Valley of Spirits; life force dwindling as you try
It's no wonder the Elders cursed you, with your never-ending pride
Powers transferred to the Queen, and Shao left you burning, it's
Clear you're worthless; Now you see the true champion of this tournament.

Shang Tsung vs Mandarin - Rap Cypher: REBOOT #11

LYRICS

Zodiac Killer:
38- goodbye announcer, too bad you had no parting gifts
Now to this mess of a killer, I don’t know where to start with this 
With the countless origins you’re given by pre-teens thinking they’re Stephen King
makes you unthreatening, cheapening, cult burnings and murdering leaving grim
I’ve already been compared to a Jack, but somehow, you’re even weaker
Please cease, sir. You’re weak, sir. Don’t need many words to speak burns.
I’m a cold-blooded killer, a bold blood spiller
But I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything worse than your picture
With the blue faceplate, but this lame-rate would get crippled by my first shot
Burst shot, 9 millimeters in the grave until this worse slop
Gets burned hot, like my gun-fire, spitting shots to leave this teen shook
Try to rap with your “I have no mouth and must scream” look

Eyeless Jack:
Hidden in history for setting cars on fire? What a back burner
And that black mask? Static-y raps? You’re taking from the Observer
I’ll leave Zodiac burnin’ like hot tar, when I drop bars
But my thoughts are “No wonder he’s flopping, he already bombs hard”

Zodiac Killer:
That’s it? I expected more out of this classic
Guess Ticci Toby kin is prone to laugh tracks where they’re rapping
Burnt face and broken family, now hell’s where this devil’s advocate lies
Cap a Jack-ass and make his brains splatter; upgrade the count to 39

Eyeless Jack:
Ted Cruz wants to step to a monster of darkness 
But I'll rip the head screws off this dead moose, sell out on the black market
This suspected methhead vendetta spreader put his own life on private
Guess this battle’s a no-brainer, I could use something to spice up my diet 
So, read the note, kid, ‘fore the folktale is broken 
He’s hopeless, homeless, and no chance of holding
a throne! Left your legacy as just another John Doe
You lead cops on a wild goose chase like you’re murderous Where’s Waldo!
Things looks so bleak for this clone thief, I’ll be sure to kill you slowly
Make like another baby and take your own leave
It’s clear why people lost their fear of you, no newspapers to examine how
Your legacy’s gone on and shattered, where’s Zodiac rapping now?

CREDITS

DeegleNV as The Zodiac Killer 
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCcqoNcvUnQdz8otgTxOqWKQ
Razzy as Eyeless Jack
https://soundcloud.com/simplyrazzy

Written by Rabi and Fightmarker
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClNJgoh_a9oYoLenAR0RzGg
Mixed by DeegleNV and Light
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCv40Azz3spGbl38LIF7uKqg
Beat by Audio Network
Thumbnail by Rabi

The Zodiac Killer vs. Eyeless Jack - Rap Battle

(CONTEXT: https://i.redd.it/sxgappnq4mw11.jpg)

Welcome back to Half-Ass Rap Battles! Today we have a battle of the goofy mutilated murderers: MDHHCD vs Hash-Slinging Slasher

-LYRICS-

Man Door:
(Yo) whatcha gonna do, wave at me with your nub singed?
I got a handle on this battle; Man Door is unhinged
Oh look, more slime to spill down the Krusty Krab walls as usual
Frying and firing this fry cook like a 2nd funeral
My bars have got that secret sauce that you're lacking, huh?
You couldn’t flip a line if both of your hands were spatulas
Speed of Gary when you’re rhyming. Try to run from my sickle
You’re bout as scary as a pirate tryna come for my pickle (ugh)
Hop back on your bus, cuz you best be retreating
Don’t need Nosferatu, I’ll knock your lights out neatly
Let’s hope your verse is like your phone calls: no speaking
I’ll leave you in the dumpster, so good luck… sweaty

Hash-Slinging Slasher
Staying up… at night with THAT verse? Bad decision
But to be fair, it was longer than your story to begin with
How’s a guy with no name or design think he’s not losing?
Both raise our eyebrows: you with fear, me with confusion
Either learn better English or get slayed hard, bitch
If I let you in, be ready for a graveyard shift
And with your hook lodged in the door, it’s time that I sped up
I’m looking to see red like “dude, can I get some ketchup?”
I got your ass sprinting backwards like a gas-thieving bastard
Yo, you’re a trash-flinging rapper, and I’m the Hash-Slinging Slasher
Go back to stealing steres, you copypasta wannabe
I stopped the voice cuz I was nervous you’d keep spitting awfully


Light as Man Door hand Hook Car Door
Commander Jacob as Hash-Slinging Slasher
Zawesome as Ketchup Requester (cameo)
Written by Commander Jacob and Zawesome
Edited and thumbnailed by Commander Jacob
Mixed by Light
Prod. by 2Deep

Man Door Hand Hook Car Door vs Hash-Slinging Slasher | Half-Ass Rap Battles

Lyrics/Beat/Trivia: https://docs.google.com/document/u/1/d/1qwRu6ZbBSI23S6UX_y7b24pC6OxeTit-bKVsnsvZln4/edit
Snakebite126 as Little Mac
Alex M. as Izuku Midoriya
MetaMachine as Doc Louis (cameo)
Written by MetaMachine, Raichous, Kamren the Person, GamingPlush64, FyxFynn and Adam.
Mixed by Freshy Kanal
Beat by Hollywood Legend Productions
Thumbnail by Rabi
Hint for Meta's next battle: "Self-Reflections"
Hint for Gengo's next battle: "Mad Science"

Little Mac vs. Izuku Midoriya

Snakebite126 as Gengar
Alex the Beast as Enderman

Gengar:
Everyone’s favourite pokémon enters in your ring
Rapping against the guy who made deserts more boring?
As a seasoned poltergeist, I could have you out cold on the floor in a second
I’d take a door and I’d break your jaw but it looks like you saved me the effort
I’m Gengar, all the kids are scared of me, let’s take a look at this long armed skinny thing
Man used to be a bigshot enemy till kids turned his ass to a mob farm guinea pig
No prank could compare to this mockery, what’s this fucker even gonna do, chuck a block at me
I’m the power making people cower at the doorstep of the tower while you can’t even stand still properly

Enderman:
It’s cute that baby’s first ghost wants to call me second rate
I’d feel bad crippling you more, you already lost Levitate
Aww, you’re the ace of Agatha? I’m the ace of a fucking dragon bruh
Should go back to your birthday party haunted house when you’re facing this massacre ravager
I'm teleporting when I'm in my Haunting watch all players scream when they see me
While this scrambled egg wants to diss on my game when his scariest squad is called fucking Team Meanies
So don’t think you’ll beat me, ooh, I’m lord of the desert so yeah I’m more than effective at beating Haunter With Legs up
The thought of a trainer ever having fought with your setup, I’d have abandoned you too if I saw those defences
I’m actually better through patches, it’s terror that all Gamefreak did to you’s trash out your mega
So crack from the pressure or come at me with your Gigantamax form looking half in the Nether
I stack up against ya and it’s not just height, put moving around forks against a real pro’s fright
I’ll wipe that grin off your face and there is no escaping, how could you miss with those eyes

Gengar:
Can’t think of decent material when we clash, Ender?
I haven’t seen you this stumped since your smash render
All that glitchy teleporting for a 50% lame drop?
The only End you lead me to is switching the fucking game off
(Fast Rap)
This little freak bag wants to be more than a cheap gag?
Even those arms couldn’t reach that
Flee fast, you had no direction in that rap
Expected better from a glorified Satnav
Don’t need a lizard eye to see who’s winning
I mean just look at this B class villain
Spawn in the hundreds and sold out as plushes
My guy’s basically The End’s Minions

Enderman:
There’s simply no match when I’m up against this desperate dead blob
I’d drop you low as your Pokkén tier if I could get past bedrock
‘Bout time I end this fight and this pathetic sight leave you more withered than your shiny when I strike
Gonna send your ass back to the tower and- oh endermites (he gets slashed in half by steve it makes more sense with the video)

Written by Psytube
Mixed by Dani Frias
Cover Art by Rabi
Beat by Anywaywell

Enderman vs Gengar - Psytube Rap Battles

Welcome back to Half-Ass Rap Battles! Today we have a four-way battle of Pac-Man's ghostly adversaries: Blinky vs Inky vs Pinky vs Clyde. Enjoy!

-LYRICS-
Blinky:
(Yo) gotta hunt ‘em first. Inky’s wondering how much it’s gonna hurt
Cuz there’s not mush-room to grow for the ghost of Clumsy Smurf
Like, for real, you’re the Jr. Pac of this, it’s clear
I’ve got some shots to fire at Bonnie and Clyde over here
Y’all like some fruit cuz eating you is just a bonus, frankly
Pinky should find the coin slot, she’s just a token lady
Red and deadly with vengeance,  I’m sick of picking up your slack, though
I get it, you guys can’t help living in Shadow’s shadow

Inky:
The cool-colored youngster has some disses to send
Name’s Inky, you already know I’m sick with a pen
Look, Blink, you might wanna try to not let your eyes shut
I pack a rude punch; you’re just me drenched in fruit punch
I’m at the top of my game, dudes. But I ain’t playing, though
And who the hell brought on the crazy ghost of Amy Rose?
I’ll grab a Power Pellet because you can’t deny
That you three wanna be me, I can see it in your eyes

Pinky:
I can tell why you’re named “Bashful” when you’re fucking with me
And cherry boy over here just can’t stop blushing for me
Ay, the fellas are jealous with how Speedy I’m bout to win this
I’ve stopped sausage fests way before even the missus
Not talking Adam Sandler when I break you into Pixels
These dudes are getting busted in disputes harder than Billy Mitchell
Hearing this last verse? I’mma have to de-Clyde
Cuz we all know that orange can’t give us a single rhyme

Clyde:
I got nothing.. Psych, my guy, Clyde’s inclined to light the mic
We’d die at the same time and still not see eye-to-eye
Here’s a middle finger for ya, Pinky. You’re cray-cray
You chase Pac so fast, you and Kinky are on the same page
Y’all tryna Ambush while I’m chilling, lowkey
Got my bars locked down; you could say they’re in the Pokey
“Why’s he got a normal name?” Well lemme tell ya, sonny
Who’s gonna run from chumps named after the Teletubbies?

Flowkage/Adam (UBERocity) as Blinky
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0d7...
UBERocity: https://www.youtube.com/user/UberFict...
SoundCloud: https://soundcloud.com/theflowkage
Twitter: https://twitter.com/FlowkageMusic

Snakebite126 (TRBoCS) as Inky
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjK5...
SoundCloud: https://soundcloud.com/snakebite126
Twitter: https://twitter.com/snakebite126

GarbageGothic as Pinky
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC6xK...
Twitter: https://twitter.com/GarbageGothic

Commander Jacob as Clyde
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCpjj...
SoundCloud: https://soundcloud.com/commanderjacob
Twitter: https://twitter.com/commander_jacob

Written by Commander Jacob and Snakebite126
Thumbnail by Commander Jacob
Mixed by Light
Prod. by Gareth Johnson of Audio Network

Blinky vs Inky vs Pinky vs Clyde | Half-Ass Rap Battles

Alex the Beast as Machamp
Dani Frias as Galarian Farfetch'd

Machamp:
My opponent’s a lowlife alola- galarian?
Smoke it with no fists, my toe tip could bury him
Pokemon’s GOAT, leaving foes without any limbs
Won’t waste my focus on no vegetarian

Farfetch’d:
Sure, keep insulting me like I’m the weak fighter
Only thing you’re good at breaking’s mirrors, Meat Spider
But if you’re gonna just continue laughing when we brawl
Well, then we’ll see who’s the gag when I evolve
Sirfetch’d:
I’ll strike at this tacky undeveloped sore sissy
With his gigantamax form looking like a gormiti 
Looks to me like you missed boxing 101, so I’d better state
Strapping a geodude to your back doesn’t make you heavyweight
Heh, at this point, Frankenstein should just pack up
With that mug, not even my beak could match up
Don’t wanna get intense cause this feud is petty
I’ll put down my sword and I’ll give you a wedgie

Machamp:
So Flour Power wants to say he’s improved
He just turned into the bad ending of playing with food (ha!)
Face with the ride me eyes, lay down your dying hype
Flimsy and weak, a disgrace to the fighting type
Basically Flying, why you in the first place?
Close to my level? You belong in a bird cage
This joke in the game’s shot at smoking my fame?
Want the answer? You got it in your own fucking name
I’m peak performance, your leek’s your offence
So maybe think twice before you beef enormous
Muscles I’m rocking that make my foes shudder, stunned
Sport Bird’ll wish he accepted the other guns
Squirt you’re a runner up, look at you all huddled up
Ready up a thunder punch, decimate this rubber duck
Coming in to rumble with an onion and some puffing up
Living example of how to speedrun a couple punctured lungs
This is a wild tourney, can you touch me in this state?
I’ve seen more agile birdies on a fucking dinner plate
While I don’t hesitate to leave a foe bleeding grim
There’s a reason I’m the ace in your own region’s gym

Sirfetch’d:
You’ve got no bars when dissing me, quit the bitch fit
Thought your no guard ability meant you didn’t miss hits
I’m the example? Well that just drives me up the wall
If you were a role model there’d be steroids in lunchables
Ooh, bud you stand lesser, not even my ancestor
Bring out all four of ‘em, I’ve seen Hitmonlee throw hands better
500 punches per sec? That’s blowing my mind
Cause last time I checked, your attack’s lower than mine (ay)
I flow in my lines like the flow in my mind when I strike with precision and leave you a sad sight
You flail your punches and fail to touch this, your fighting position’s more fit for a slap fight
It’s a slight stretch to act like Registeel 
Maybe I’ll use your body as my next veggie shield
So you’d better yield, it was a good game though
But it didn’t take a flying move to leave this gym teacher K.O.’ed

Written by Psytube
Mixed by Dani Frias
Cover Art by Rabi
Beat by Marsad Men

Machamp vs Galarian Farfetch'd - Pokémon Rap Battle

Home of Lame-Ass Rap Battles, its side series Half-Ass Rap Battles, and maybe the occasional cover of someone else's battle.