So Viel Machen (ft.Shave39 & DUKE394)

These two are armed with cold guns and are here to give some cold rhymes. Leonard Snart AKA Captain Cold and Mei from Overwatch. Which of these two can take the cold? That’s for you to decide.

LYRICS:

Captain Cold:
The iceman cometh with cold rhymes to bring an ice age 
Mei’s making many of the players rage when a player picks Mei as their main
And may I ask you this? What made you really think facing me was a good intention?
I’m against killing, especially women, but just for you, I’ll make an exception
There’s no rescue for you here like there was no help for your Ecopoint team 
Hell, even Mr. Freeze’s wife is still alive in cryosleep
That polar storm in Antarctica ain’t shit compared to the cold I bring
Temperatures below zero degrees, even you will be left shivering

Mei:
Qīfu rén! All cause Lenny was raised a wreck
Or perhaps it’s all because you are a villain that everyone forgets
I’m representing Blizzard and I think it clearly shows
While you’re rolling with a team of jokes, have the gall to dub yourselves as Rogues
Your father beat you senseless and it worsened when your grandfather passed
You will make a nice ice sculpture when you’re hit with my endothermic blasts
All this tech and you waste it for just simply robbing banks
When it comes to Flash villains named Captain, I prefer Boomerang

Captain Cold:
Your lines can barely chip the ice, make like Tracer and start running
With nine years of hibernation, you’re not ready for what’s coming
From your ice shell to your ice wall, you clearly show some cowardice
My technology made the fastest man alive fall powerless
You think you can beat a man who’s Cold Gun matched Superman’s laser eyes?
Overwatch fans rarely play you, they care for you cause you’re thicc as ice
I shattered a man’s arm off using the cold air around me
Whenever you hurt someone, you always follow with an apology

Mei:
Snart ain’t so smart, you are just the average criminal
A villain with ice weaponry? That’s not very original
We both specialize in cold but I’m putting the burr in burns 
I’ll do you here like Wonder Woman did to Golden Glider
Our world is worth fighting for just not when it comes to scum like you
You ripped off Mortal Kombat when they changed you in New 52
It’s nothing personal and I’d hate to give the cold shoulder 
But even if you turned up the AC, it’s pointless, this emcee will make things colder

CAST:
B-Lo as Captain Cold
Miss Shellah as Mei

Beat Produced by Tristan

Captain Cold Vs Mei - A Rap Battle by B-Lo

ah shit here we go again
welcome back to rap cypher!
Light as Shang Tsung
Alex the Beast as Mandarin
Beat produced by 2Deep
Thumbnail by CJ and Trakked
Mixed by Alex the Beast
Written by: Trakked

Battle:

Shang Tsung:
(Hm.) It has begun. Let us test your so-called might.
The predecessor of a legend yet still lacks the strength to fight.
Enter the Mandarin into my dark heart; and within there you'll find
You dealt with Stan Lee and Disney, now your soul is mine. (Ha!)
And you really think those rings make you special? You're but a glorified pimp
Mother's a prostitute, you're in solitude, so I'd be glad to give a glimpse
Of my power, you'll bask in nonexistence; if you wanna keep up persistence 
Like your namesake, you'll be peeled like an orange, another kombatant I've finished (Agh)
Wouldn't be enough for this sorcerer, yes? Kondemned to the Damned and tortured to death
Trapped in a Soulnado, filled with hate though, your whole life is a Tale of Suspense
 I never thought a better foe would come out of your son, only shows he is superior.
It's settled though, you've met with no allies, so you're just broken and inferior.

Mandarin:
Seems there's Big Trouble in Little China, best not keep this devil waiting
You're seeming Lo, Pan, so go, man, Annihilated like movie ratings
The greatest mind in the world against a slave to his king?
It's no wonder you're used to losing to Liu several times in the ring.
You fell down the charts like on Argus. (agh) A second Armageddon awaits
Being imprisoned by your superior only shows failing is your fate.
Call me the Dragon King, cause I whooped your ass down; better fit as a class clown
Those fatalities only show that your power's in the past now.

Shang Tsung:
My words sting like a cobra bite; your verse had no effect
You built up and destroyed yourself; a human Titanomech.
First started as a stereotype, but whitewashing made you worse.
Left a Stane upon your legacy; glad he finally ended this curse.

Mandarin:
Your only good trait is Identity Theft, but with all that, no Identity left
Your island's defunct as a Krypt, I'll debunk this until you realize this entity's best
Is unstoppable, you're dropping past your prime, though, no new timeline could decide 
The final resting place for the elderly, dismissed as a psycho, I will
Transport you to the Valley of Spirits; life force dwindling as you try
It's no wonder the Elders cursed you, with your never-ending pride
Powers transferred to the Queen, and Shao left you burning, it's
Clear you're worthless; Now you see the true champion of this tournament.

Shang Tsung vs Mandarin - Rap Cypher: REBOOT #11

(CONTEXT: https://i.redd.it/sxgappnq4mw11.jpg)

Welcome back to Half-Ass Rap Battles! Today we have a battle of the goofy mutilated murderers: MDHHCD vs Hash-Slinging Slasher

-LYRICS-

Man Door:
(Yo) whatcha gonna do, wave at me with your nub singed?
I got a handle on this battle; Man Door is unhinged
Oh look, more slime to spill down the Krusty Krab walls as usual
Frying and firing this fry cook like a 2nd funeral
My bars have got that secret sauce that you're lacking, huh?
You couldn’t flip a line if both of your hands were spatulas
Speed of Gary when you’re rhyming. Try to run from my sickle
You’re bout as scary as a pirate tryna come for my pickle (ugh)
Hop back on your bus, cuz you best be retreating
Don’t need Nosferatu, I’ll knock your lights out neatly
Let’s hope your verse is like your phone calls: no speaking
I’ll leave you in the dumpster, so good luck… sweaty

Hash-Slinging Slasher
Staying up… at night with THAT verse? Bad decision
But to be fair, it was longer than your story to begin with
How’s a guy with no name or design think he’s not losing?
Both raise our eyebrows: you with fear, me with confusion
Either learn better English or get slayed hard, bitch
If I let you in, be ready for a graveyard shift
And with your hook lodged in the door, it’s time that I sped up
I’m looking to see red like “dude, can I get some ketchup?”
I got your ass sprinting backwards like a gas-thieving bastard
Yo, you’re a trash-flinging rapper, and I’m the Hash-Slinging Slasher
Go back to stealing steres, you copypasta wannabe
I stopped the voice cuz I was nervous you’d keep spitting awfully


Light as Man Door hand Hook Car Door
Commander Jacob as Hash-Slinging Slasher
Zawesome as Ketchup Requester (cameo)
Written by Commander Jacob and Zawesome
Edited and thumbnailed by Commander Jacob
Mixed by Light
Prod. by 2Deep

Man Door Hand Hook Car Door vs Hash-Slinging Slasher | Half-Ass Rap Battles

Lyrics/Beat/Trivia: https://docs.google.com/document/u/1/d/1qwRu6ZbBSI23S6UX_y7b24pC6OxeTit-bKVsnsvZln4/edit
Snakebite126 as Little Mac
Alex M. as Izuku Midoriya
MetaMachine as Doc Louis (cameo)
Written by MetaMachine, Raichous, Kamren the Person, GamingPlush64, FyxFynn and Adam.
Mixed by Freshy Kanal
Beat by Hollywood Legend Productions
Thumbnail by Rabi
Hint for Meta's next battle: "Self-Reflections"
Hint for Gengo's next battle: "Mad Science"

Little Mac vs. Izuku Midoriya

Snakebite126 as Gengar
Alex the Beast as Enderman

Gengar:
Everyone’s favourite pokémon enters in your ring
Rapping against the guy who made deserts more boring?
As a seasoned poltergeist, I could have you out cold on the floor in a second
I’d take a door and I’d break your jaw but it looks like you saved me the effort
I’m Gengar, all the kids are scared of me, let’s take a look at this long armed skinny thing
Man used to be a bigshot enemy till kids turned his ass to a mob farm guinea pig
No prank could compare to this mockery, what’s this fucker even gonna do, chuck a block at me
I’m the power making people cower at the doorstep of the tower while you can’t even stand still properly

Enderman:
It’s cute that baby’s first ghost wants to call me second rate
I’d feel bad crippling you more, you already lost Levitate
Aww, you’re the ace of Agatha? I’m the ace of a fucking dragon bruh
Should go back to your birthday party haunted house when you’re facing this massacre ravager
I'm teleporting when I'm in my Haunting watch all players scream when they see me
While this scrambled egg wants to diss on my game when his scariest squad is called fucking Team Meanies
So don’t think you’ll beat me, ooh, I’m lord of the desert so yeah I’m more than effective at beating Haunter With Legs up
The thought of a trainer ever having fought with your setup, I’d have abandoned you too if I saw those defences
I’m actually better through patches, it’s terror that all Gamefreak did to you’s trash out your mega
So crack from the pressure or come at me with your Gigantamax form looking half in the Nether
I stack up against ya and it’s not just height, put moving around forks against a real pro’s fright
I’ll wipe that grin off your face and there is no escaping, how could you miss with those eyes

Gengar:
Can’t think of decent material when we clash, Ender?
I haven’t seen you this stumped since your smash render
All that glitchy teleporting for a 50% lame drop?
The only End you lead me to is switching the fucking game off
(Fast Rap)
This little freak bag wants to be more than a cheap gag?
Even those arms couldn’t reach that
Flee fast, you had no direction in that rap
Expected better from a glorified Satnav
Don’t need a lizard eye to see who’s winning
I mean just look at this B class villain
Spawn in the hundreds and sold out as plushes
My guy’s basically The End’s Minions

Enderman:
There’s simply no match when I’m up against this desperate dead blob
I’d drop you low as your Pokkén tier if I could get past bedrock
‘Bout time I end this fight and this pathetic sight leave you more withered than your shiny when I strike
Gonna send your ass back to the tower and- oh endermites (he gets slashed in half by steve it makes more sense with the video)

Written by Psytube
Mixed by Dani Frias
Cover Art by Rabi
Beat by Anywaywell

Enderman vs Gengar - Psytube Rap Battles

Welcome back to Half-Ass Rap Battles! Today we have a four-way battle of Pac-Man's ghostly adversaries: Blinky vs Inky vs Pinky vs Clyde. Enjoy!

-LYRICS-
Blinky:
(Yo) gotta hunt ‘em first. Inky’s wondering how much it’s gonna hurt
Cuz there’s not mush-room to grow for the ghost of Clumsy Smurf
Like, for real, you’re the Jr. Pac of this, it’s clear
I’ve got some shots to fire at Bonnie and Clyde over here
Y’all like some fruit cuz eating you is just a bonus, frankly
Pinky should find the coin slot, she’s just a token lady
Red and deadly with vengeance,  I’m sick of picking up your slack, though
I get it, you guys can’t help living in Shadow’s shadow

Inky:
The cool-colored youngster has some disses to send
Name’s Inky, you already know I’m sick with a pen
Look, Blink, you might wanna try to not let your eyes shut
I pack a rude punch; you’re just me drenched in fruit punch
I’m at the top of my game, dudes. But I ain’t playing, though
And who the hell brought on the crazy ghost of Amy Rose?
I’ll grab a Power Pellet because you can’t deny
That you three wanna be me, I can see it in your eyes

Pinky:
I can tell why you’re named “Bashful” when you’re fucking with me
And cherry boy over here just can’t stop blushing for me
Ay, the fellas are jealous with how Speedy I’m bout to win this
I’ve stopped sausage fests way before even the missus
Not talking Adam Sandler when I break you into Pixels
These dudes are getting busted in disputes harder than Billy Mitchell
Hearing this last verse? I’mma have to de-Clyde
Cuz we all know that orange can’t give us a single rhyme

Clyde:
I got nothing.. Psych, my guy, Clyde’s inclined to light the mic
We’d die at the same time and still not see eye-to-eye
Here’s a middle finger for ya, Pinky. You’re cray-cray
You chase Pac so fast, you and Kinky are on the same page
Y’all tryna Ambush while I’m chilling, lowkey
Got my bars locked down; you could say they’re in the Pokey
“Why’s he got a normal name?” Well lemme tell ya, sonny
Who’s gonna run from chumps named after the Teletubbies?

Flowkage/Adam (UBERocity) as Blinky
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0d7...
UBERocity: https://www.youtube.com/user/UberFict...
SoundCloud: https://soundcloud.com/theflowkage
Twitter: https://twitter.com/FlowkageMusic

Snakebite126 (TRBoCS) as Inky
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjK5...
SoundCloud: https://soundcloud.com/snakebite126
Twitter: https://twitter.com/snakebite126

GarbageGothic as Pinky
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC6xK...
Twitter: https://twitter.com/GarbageGothic

Commander Jacob as Clyde
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCpjj...
SoundCloud: https://soundcloud.com/commanderjacob
Twitter: https://twitter.com/commander_jacob

Written by Commander Jacob and Snakebite126
Thumbnail by Commander Jacob
Mixed by Light
Prod. by Gareth Johnson of Audio Network

Blinky vs Inky vs Pinky vs Clyde | Half-Ass Rap Battles

Oh yeah we going to space for this one
Mancha as Sinistar
King Mewtwo as Ego the Living Planet
Beat produced by Tristan on the Track
Thumbnail by Trakked
Mixed by Dani Frias 
Written by Trakked, Kamren, ColeDaCole and WDRB

Battle:

Sinistar:
Beware coward, this small villain will fall victim to my hunger 
I’ll throw Sini-bombs at this planetoid; lightyears asunder!
You better Run Run Run! Not even your Alter-Ego can stop me
For my Eternal power shall destroy this puny planet's Galaxy 
It’s a travesty that such a being couldn’t be a strong foe
Beat by a space pirate? That’s what I’d call a fragile Ego
You're a sick minded fraud, went out a Boomer like your status
Not even glitches could rebirth since you've already turned to ashes

Ego:
Tried to scare in the 80’s, yet even with that, computer,
You’re the “star” of a forgotten game; an unoriginal space shooter
If a spacecraft can beat you, then you’ll revel to my power,
Decimated into decimals, never played beyond an hour

Sinistar:
Beware, I live!; And you claim my game is infamous?
I may be the metal boss, but you’re sure picking up rust!
I’ll bust into your core, before you dare fathom to wreck this,
How come you try to take risks when I eat planets for breakfast? 

Ego:
You're just an underpowered entity, a frail-minded Galactus
So I'll trash this scrap metal; I could destroy you with magnets!
Barely shoddy, with my Anti-Bodies swarming 'round this virus,
Deleting all weak-shelled copies of this pathetic bot who’s mindless
Your claim to fame's only a game, while my legacy evolves
No glitches can save you, watch you while all of your lives dissolve
A win trapped in Imaginationland; this pathetic feud is over
And it concludes with me having this star meet a supernova

Sinistar vs Ego - Rap Cypher: REBOOT #12

This is a super passion-oriented project that has been in the works for literally nearly two months, so much so that I wasn't sure it'd release. Partially because I wanted to do these amazing games--especially Phasmophobia--justice, and had a very specific artistic vision that I wasn't sure if I could pull off effectively in the way I'd want.
I'm happy to say that this is finally out. Not to mention I am pretty damn proud of how it came out.
Special thanks to EVERYONE involved in this project. Y'all really carried this shit, not me. If it weren't for the help of amazing VAS, Jacob for the thumbnail and some early beta feedback-givers, this wouldn't be here in the state it is.
And thus, I give you my boldest project yet. Hope you guys like it. :)

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1HyPrmUdW_4P_gRTv5HOIBKNKqmRidNx9hWaWggp4-hA/edit?usp=sharing

Phasmophobia vs. Sign of Silence // Alex's Rap Battles #9

Yo MAMA!!!
Alanon as the announcer
Eric the Audible as Ryu 
JordanShowish as Liu Kang
Written by Trakked, Snakebite and WDRB
Beat by The Unbeatables
Thumbnail by Trakked
Mixed by Jordanshowish

Battle:
Ryu:
Came in search for someone worthy, yet a killer monk appears
Raiden's lackey's lacking sense if he chooses to come near
The Satsui no Hado plagues me, but your thoughts plague yourself
You're an outdated copy, a cartridge stuck on the shelf
Best escape with a Bicycle, cause no kick can subdue me
A personality even worse than the ratings on your movies
You should see that fatalities aren't in the wise path
Seems though, you've already succumbed to your side's wrath
Its evident this Revenant's just a blight on fighters
A pestilence that meddles with his fire like a lighter
Killed by your enemy and protector, it's clear you're unworthy
Put down your mic and fight; for no words can hurt me

Liu Kang:
Serving Earthrealm is my duty, but there's no saving your series
All bark and no bite, so you can't battle, clearly.
Droning on isn't my style, I lost interest Mid-Way
Thought I became a zombie again; your raps dulled my brain
While this homeless orphan’s left roaming the world, searching for fights
I’ve won the trophy in every tournament I’ve been in with sheer might
Against the likes of Scorpion, sorcerers, and soldiers of ice
And now I’m scorching this corpse with a fatality on the mic
You've rapped wrong, Capcom's mascot's a disgrace
No impact on other media so you have to save face
I’m the chosen one, a holy son, before you wanna dance
Change your catchphrase to "You must defeat Liu Kang to stand a chance"


Ryu vs Liu Kang. Fighting Game Rap Battles.

Kira vs White Face - Remastered

Salvati as Kira
Energykid as White Face

Beat by InsaneBeatz

Kira:
Someone keeps breaking the rules. It seems to bring this to light
I need to find identity and begin writing this fight
This list.txt is listless, bitch - you're lost, locked down bits
Wrecked a pixelated nightmare's skewed visions, all closing down like your win10
It's difficult to gauge your success, see
When all your avid fans found your game from EXE
So let's see, right as I cut down through your garbage wire
We'll see exactly how your madness worked: Markiplier!

White Face:
Is that a challenge? I like playing games.
But you're not balanced against nigh endless names
Because you're playing by my rules, and I'm writing Light's fate for him
It's a shame there's no Death Footnote for the ending of your story
Sure, this match could have been even, it's a shame you're just human
Because you're taking the pen name of your rival and losing
...huh? Oh, the door is locked, don't even try to leave
To escape you need a single thing that's actually on beat (chuckle)

Kira:
This is the real world, creep - I'll easily end this faker
When I DDoS the failed, pale freak from GameMaker
And I can’t help but wonder how it'll be
When the player finds out you're an edgy self-insert OC
And there's no traces in this cold face's code bases
Of any rhyme or reason for basis of all your names
May be nameless, but you'd be very rightfully scared
Cause you're contained like any other common virus: VMware

White Face:
It really warms my heart you think you’ve won this
Think you’ve got enough for six shots; not even one hit
You tried to higher your score but now I’m tired and bored
So I’ll just show this shattered tyrant the door
You can’t delete me even with those rhymes you wrote
Your power’s granted by effectively a post it note
May as well set my loneliness up
Because I’m gonna send you right back to square one

Kira vs White Face. Rap Battle!

Home of Lame-Ass Rap Battles, its side series Half-Ass Rap Battles, and maybe the occasional cover of someone else's battle.