Welcome back to Half-Ass Rap Battles! Today we have a battle of goofy, meme-status salesmen; Phil Swift of Flex Seal vs Morshu from Link: The Faces of Evil. Enjoy!

Michael Stark as Phil Swift
Mr. Tibbs as Morshu
Written by Commander Jacob (w/ help from Michael Stark, Evan Raspberry, Snakebite126, and Atronauch's Aura)
Mixed by Freshy Kanal
Prod. by FM75

-LYRICS-

Phil:
Yo! Phil Swift here, and I’m not that impressed, dog
So watch as this Flabby Mask Salesman’s gets Flexed on
My family of products is double what you could manage
You kicked the bucket, and I’m stabbing it; now that’s a lotta damage
Your YouTube presence is more than Poop. It’s worse, in fact
I’m so sharp on the mic *bzzz* I sawed this verse in half! 
No patching, bonding, sealing, or repairing after this shit
Imagine what you’d do when Mr. Flex Steal your business
We ain’t even equal. You’ve got no place in the sequels
I’d just watch your RTX if I wanted Faces of Evil
Beatbox all you want, it won’t stop what I’ve built up
By now, you should be used to getting embarrassed by Philips

Morshu:
Weird flex, but okay. This lamp oil’s got me lit
These hands? They’re yours, my friend. You’re gonna pay for this
As long as you have bars that can take this ill diss
2nd hand Billy Mays should switch his name to Phil Thrift
You’re not getting outta this; I already got you roped in
With all that Flex Seal, it’s a given you’ve got no drip
How’d you make a soap picture dirty? You rascal
That reflects pretty poorly; especially off of your shower handle
I’ve got a full stock with how often I drop bombs
Your glue wouldn’t have stuck if not for JonTron
Sorry Phil, I can’t give shits in this bicker
So come back when you can spit a little, mmmm, sicker!

Phil Swift vs Morshu | Half-Ass Rap Battle

Home of Lame-Ass Rap Battles, its side series Half-Ass Rap Battles, and maybe the occasional cover of someone else's battle.