TCGTE

The Complete Guide to Everything (in chronological order)

retro tcgte

complete guides

We look back on Michael Jackson's career, legacy and various types of pets in their truimphent and unnecessarily long return to audio podcasting.  

Michael Jackson

A how-to guide, also ideas for funny things to do to cavemen if you ever have the opportunity. 

Time Travel

An exhaustive look into the world's most famous septulogy, 80's boobs, the differences between bums and hobos, and special announcements. 

Police Academy and Bums vs. Hobos

Tom and Tim discuss how this episode will not have a single topic, and then proceed to talk about Weird Al for an hour.

Weird Al

New Travel Agencies, Letters to Criminals. "I'll Be Missing You", Adopting a Teenager, My Super Sweet Sixteen

Letters to Famous Prisoners

North Korea, Mad Men Abridged, Winning Porn Bingo, Avoiding Tipping

North Korea and Winning Porn Bingo

Tom and Tim discuss the college freshman year experience, how not to masturbate discreetly and more. Plus, Tim fails at sorcery. 

College: Freshman Year and Wearing Your T-Shirt as Underwear

Boris Yelsten drunk in his underwear at the White House, George W. scaring prisoners straight, Johnny Cash and Mr. Ed, Tom meets Nicholas Cage and listener suggestions!

Drunk Presidents and Nicolas Cage

In this episode Tom and Tim discuss the hit reality show 'The Bachelor', America's favorite sex-free 20 hour porn movie. Also discussed... Olympic Fever Finally Subsides Tom's Strong Opinions on The Bachelor Pooping Your Way Into Show Business Tim and Tom Stop Solving One Person's Problems Podcast Philanthropy A Special Musical Performance from Jimmy Bluffert [...]

The Bachelor

In this episode we talk and talk and talk. Topics include Tiger Woods, Crystal Pepsi, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and LeBron James teaming up to make Tim feel old, Tom's continued hatred of those less fortunate than him and the hit movie The Rocketeer.

The Complete Guide to Nothing in Particular

In this episode we discuss bars, pubs and the goings-on inside these establishments. Topics include: Getting a bartender's attention Adventures waiting on bathroom lines Illicit drug use in bar restrooms Tom's tips for girls interested in flirting at bars Tim's admiration a certain big box electronics retailer

The Complete Guide to Bars

TCGTE tells all about hobo secrets and more. Information that may one day very well save your life. Including: Tim is energized! Acting is tiring Conspiracy theories about the phone company Tom is drunk with Starbucks power The Hobo Code The Hobo Ethical Code Naked People at the Museum Baby Boomer of the Week We're [...]

The Hobo Code

LeBron James Passes on Our Offer NBA Talk Running in 102 Degree Heat Sexy Librarians Don't Drink Drano Making Your Own Alcohol/Poison Cooking Tips Talkative Teenagers at Auto Parts Stores New Segment! One Time Time Travel

Being a Man

Feeling fat? Are your hands constantly greasy from all the fried foods you're always eating? Let Tim and Tom guide you through the healthiest diets out there today. Also covered: swinger cruises, making friends as an adult and the fact that your life has probably been a child's fever dream.

Healthy Eating

In this special edition episode of The Complete Guide to Everything, Tim and Tom try to crack the case of the Backpack Bandit. Showing their ability to multitask and solve multiple cases at once, they then take on the case of the U-Haul Truck Trickster. Also Tim debuts his new podcast. This episode was recorded [...]

Sleuthing

We discuss the global phenomenon that is Harry Potter, so naturally the conversation turns to Richie Rich and Archie comics. Also, the debut of a potential new theme song!

Harry Potter

The Beatles.mp3

Tales of rich lady pizzeria haggling, Tom willing to pay exorbitant prices for Back to the Future Nike Air Mags, selfish notions of wishing NYC was grittier, the Ark of the Covenant being a nuclear device, nuclear explosions thousands of years ago, Ancient Volcanos and some advice about sending us drunk emails in the middle of the night.

Ancient Aliens

Musings on Two and a Half Men, the importance of nice buns, the scam behind McDonald's Monopoly game, Tom's heartbreaking tale of childhood loneliness, Tim almost sacrifices his life for the best hamburger in NYC, plus we solve some problems with girlfriend friends and 80s sax songs.

Hamburgers

This week, Tom and Laugh-A-Minute Bill Barnaby pay tribute to Steve Jobs and celebrate his legacy. Also covered: KB Toys vs. Toys R Us, racist Commodore 64 games, prank calling the Home Shopping Network instead of going on spiritual journeys to India, using a computer with a weird cassette tape drive, doctors chopping their own salads, Tom's ill-fated trip to the doctor's office and seeing your pediatrician when you're 20 years old.

Steve Jobs

Zombies! Zombies! Zombies! This week we talk about the all things zombies including The Walking Dead, World War Z, real life Haitian zombies and how we'd fare in the zombie apocalypse. And also: using this podcast as torture, overtipping jerk baristas, dating habits of the petite and the last episode of M*A*S*H.

Zombies

Tom reviews the new Batman Arkham City, Batman Goggles, Tim's Homeschooling, sexy smock Halloween costumes, poisoned Halloween candy, celebrating Halloween as a responsible adult, a tragic Pepper the House Horse update, befriending bums and Tim's call for recipes.