Featured (various artists)

I got frustrated and made a song

Also this song has been described to me as "Final Boss level" music for a game

SHITFUCK

Squidface Licker

Hamster Baby (Bikini Kill cover)

Talentless Fox but Moon & Big Man Sing It

the captain, mad captain
he told the men his plans
and then they went out stealing things
so they could rule these lands

they stole four antique cannons from the castle
hijacked a truckload of metal from the factory
they stole a jet engine from the old air force base
the mad captain nodded satisfactorily

they welded the metal into a battering ram
and the big jet engine was for extra speed
cannons armed in every direction
the mad captain had returned to the sea (x2)

they were a terror in the open waters
they’d sink any ship that they saw
and with their jet engine, they were able to avoid apprehension
and stay a step ahead of the law

vengeance in the form of a storm
came rolling across the sea
the mad captain pulled his eyes from the sky
he’d seen more than he wanted to see
"all hands below deck", the captain roared
"tie yourself down so you don’t go overboard"
------
bass, piano, beatbox, guitar and vocals by andrew salvner (aka lil' spaceman, pretzels malone)
drums from my cheap old digitech bp90 bass pedal
thunderstorm field recording by Arnaud Coutancier www.freesound.org/people/arnaud%20coutancier/
additional sound effects supplied by @pliable-tones
drums/bass/bass/piano recorded on 4-track cassette / vocals and beatbox added using Audacity.

the mad captain (on speed)

This song should not exist

lyrics:

I’ve got a gift for you, so open it up
Give it a stroke and I’ll fill your cup
Unleash the demon, and I’ll whip it out
Unzip my pants and I’ll stick it out, yeah

My dick is a miles long
That’s why I wrote this song for you, it’s for you
And when I’m creaming jeans 
It will make all your dreams come true, come true

And if you start to think you don’t give a fuck
This thing is bigger than a garbage truck
Unleash the weasel, it’ll give you a bite
You know I got the rizz, I’ll do it right

Rizztastic master of the dirty arts
When I’m done my dick will be smelling of farts
There is no reason why you wouldn’t want
My big fat dick inside your hairs cunt

If it’s not your birthday
It doesn’t really matter anyway
I got a gift so open it
That shirt you’re wearing now, I’ll be soaking it

When we put our heads together
I swear it’ll make it better
And when we become one
I’ll be glad to give you some

Choking hazard on the side
Just be careful on the ride
Smells like some old bologna
Eat it like some cannelloni, now dig it, yeah 

Big dick, big dick, big dick, big dick
Big dick, big dick, big dick, big dick

I've Got A Gift For You (It's My Penis)

Reowr

Dedicated to Jello Biafra :)

Hexfarm is

Phil Bywater - Saxophones/Flutes
Dane Renshaw - Drums
Mat Ward - Bass Guitar/Vox

Track 3 from Hexfarm - who meet once a year to jam for a couple of days then head back to their various corners of the world : )

Drink Wank Cry - Hexfarm

Blackwater Falls

Schnorbitz

Life’s young and yang..,the things we smile at today we kill tonight..

Little Bird 33

Faze 1 slowed stoner remix (Bob Goodsite) (Meth-Mastered)

early ween (remastered)
source > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MPs5p4KWzjg

DISCO INFERNO (Meth-Mastered)

Lyrics

When the bow breaks, the cradle will
Come tumbling down into the darkened chasmic hell
The same which countless others
Disappeared inside before

The tranquil state in which we’ve lived
Perishes right before our eyes
Lost to the ages of time, we’ll forget

Just like a vanquished mortal soul
What once existed in the flesh
Will disappear, leaving behind traces
Ashes and decaying bone

The fragile lamb of stable life
Ceases to breathe and bleeds out
Gone are days of light

Then soon we all begin to lose 
Sight of the things that once had held
Us tight and close
Bonded, inseparable
Never to be ripped apart

Mortar that held together bricks 
Impenetrable fortress
Deteriorated beyond all repair

In time the foundational cracks
Of our own selfish deceit and betrayal acts
Would crumble down and destroy
For what we had sacrificed

Then in a foolish naive way
Blame all those but ourselves
So bold is ignorance

Sun setting down behind the darkened
Clouds, leaving us in darkness
Forever gone, what once had shone
Is gone forever now, we will wonder how we

Let things get so bad, what choice have we had
As captives of greed filled rackets
Any chance we got only ever brought 
A knife right in our backs, 
Broken structure cracks

Beep Boop

I cant tell you that

W-Groovin' in Spring

Flipper Blues [Flipper]

Nimoy’s Q-Tip

written and recorded 2010 by andrew salvner (aka pretzels malone, lil' spaceman)
4-track cassette tape - trk1&2-keys and drums / trk3&4-vocals

from the unfinished and unreleased minotaur project.  this song's at the beginning as the creds roll.

the words:
three point four billion minotaurs
fighting against
three point four billion wizards
(wizards, wizards)

3 point 4 billion

written and recorded 2011 by andrew salvner (aka pretzels malone, lil' spaceman)
4-track cassette tape

this is a chunk of my first attempt at this song.  the second attempt which added piano, and removed the drums entirely in favor of beatbox is up on my pretzels malone soundcloud page.  i pulled the highs and lows out for an easy mix.

the words:
minotaurs, fightin' wizards on lizards.
this minotaur, he's as big as a car, he's like a battle-star, he can cold throw a wizard real far - he smokes high class cigars, he plays mean ass guitars, he runs with minotaurs and jaguars.

minotaurs (fighting wizards on lizards) [am radio remix]

Sanity’s boring, truth is a joke,
I built my throne out of everything broke.

This is blues exorcism for cursed souls. Heavy psych riffs dragged through ash. Basement doom jams that sound like they’re melting from the inside.

It’s not good music. It’s honest noise. 
Unfuckable, unmarketable, undeniable.

If you get it — welcome. If not, you were never meant to...   haha, guitar go brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Featured (various artists)

Crack Panther