We've a polished a turd
And it turned out great
We the fooled the masses
to rotten grapes

All who ate them 
Became drunk
In fermentation
We shit on your rug

We polished a turd and it turned out great
It smelled it so good its something we ate
We sold it to all from far and wide
We exploited your dreams
Fingered your wife

And I lost some money
And I lost face
And so emberassed
That ill hide my face

So we were discovered 
Polishing this turd
It's so rediculous
And very absurd

We buffed out the shit
And it turned out great
We blasted  the shit off your plate
And now family buys it up
The bullshit could fill up a pickup truck

Rettchhh errghhlllleee uurrpppp heehhhhhhh hsshhhhhhh
shhhreeeppppppdddd
erruutrpppp buuuuu
ruuuuuuaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh

Oohhhh, 24 !!!
(random afro american slogans)

The Polished Turd

01/05/14: Sports Suck

yo dawg that fuckin' stinks

man I don't think I can make it to the birthday party today... Im feelin fuckin terrible... just gotta lay down...




Wake up , cant take a shit

rollin in bed letting fuckin farts rip

they smell like an old dead dog

under the deck, rotting in a bog

my homies, don't understand

they bring me burritos whenever they can

the second I sneak out of my space

I gotta shit all over the place




mcdonalds and taco bell

bring my guts to a personal hell

my undies I gotta check

every 5 minutes for skids and shit




my girlfriend has to sleep with a gask mask,

and diapers at her feet

god save me If you can

these rolaids backfired again




it's the IBS, it's the IBS, irritable bowel (X2)




oh godamn is it Christmas already?

I cant have any of the turkey, I cant have any of the stuffing, I can't have any of the gravy, I cant have any of the fucking cranberries... I just can't fucking eat anything !!




yo,

low fat.

soy in my mouth, makes things feel better

but shit , can't taste nothing but it hurts

every time I fart it blurts

a little but of shit. in my pants

it makes me feel like chance,

everything I wanna do, is ruined by the poo




it's the IBS, It's the IBS, Irritable bowel (X4)




Yo,

I reached my wits end with this thing

it fuckin hurts all the time.

I'm taking shits that look like an old pile of oatmeal

I can't go anywhere no more....




shittin' at walmart, pickin up the crabs...

from the toilet seat.... (X2)




I can see them jumping,

right at my balls

I'm at wits end...

I can see them jumping right at my balls yo




Maybe someday you'll understand,

think about the worse flu you ever had homie.. that's it..

irritable bowel syndrome.. one in five has it....

IBS Awareness Rap

Twisty in Dust

Smells Like Teen Spirit (Electro - Cover)

11 to 7 at the chocolate plant
weekends spent deviating miscreants
summers cutting up animals,
studying and collecting their entrails

i don't know,
why these zombies won't keep.
I drilled holes in their heads until they weep,
I eat them to become part of me,
Vats of acid are their legacy

Disconnection from this world,
My mind feeds me the absurd

Doo doo do,
wee doo wop
(drills in the skull)
doo doo doo

There's things that you all don't understand
There's certain needs that only I have
take my meat away and empty my fridge,
I'll just die in jail amongst sactilidge

Meet you hitchiking and take you home,
You'll be bludgeoned against the cold linoleum

See my side i doubt you ever will,
but just admit it gives you a little thrill


The Dahmer Party

Fulfilling Self Desire

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The Polished Turd

Curmudgeon

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