WHY I HAD TO LEARN

why i had to learn to be a man
why i had to learn to be a man

it's understood, there's a right and a wrong way
if that was taught at school taught I missed that day
all the other boys seemed to catch on fast
I stood watching as they ran past

dad worked long hours and he'd often come home late
mom would talk to him as he ate
slipped off his shoes and found his favorite chair
we watched tv while he was sleeping there

life's not a game but all the same, there's rules
a life to build but which are the right tools?

Cour D-'mours

Why I Had To Learn

My new album "Dreams of the Byzantines" is streaming June 13th, 2025. Please check out my new website darrencsullivan.com for videos and albums to purchase.

Thanks for the kindness and support.


it's easy to be "unique"
one just refrains from making the effort to immitate someone*

*(me, this year)

Blessed be the atheists. 

Any feedback is very welcome. I aim to improve!

Each to their own. 

This dramatisation is inspired by true events. However, certain scenes, characters, names, businesses, incidents, locations, and events have been fictionalised for dramatic purposes


That’s all for now.

With a lot of patience, consistency, and effort, something mediocre will be created and put up here.
Have you ever been to the Black Lodge? (0,0)

Ourcapsoul

Deutscher Singer-Songwriter über fünfzig Jahre alt. Seit fast vierzig Jahren schreibe und singe ich Lieder. Mein Hauptinstrument ist die akustische Gitarre, aber ich mag auch Perkussionsinstrumente (Cajon, Maracas, Gurio). Ich liebe es, melancholische und poetische Balladen zu komponieren. Aber manchmal schreibe ich auch (schwarze) humorvolle Songs, Jazzstyle und -Rocksongs. Meine Hauptsprache ist Deutsch. Aber in Zukunft will ich mehr Songs auf Englisch und vereinzelt auch Französisch schreiben.
In meinen Kompositionen bin ich inspiriert von Leonard Cohen, John Lennon, Jacques Brel, Van Morrison und Bob Dylan. Auf meinen Platten spiele und singe ich alles alleine. Meine Vision für die Zukunft ist es, Musiker aus verschiedenen Kulturen zu finden, die gerne ihre Tracks mit mir teilen wollen.
Mein persönliches Mantra ist ein Satz, der von Paul Mccartney auf dem Beatles-Album "Abbey Road auf dem Track "In the end" vor fast Fünfzig Jahren geschrieben wurde:

Die Liebe, die Du bekommst ist gleich der Liebe, die Du gibst.

German singer-songwriter over fifty years old. For almost forty years I have been writing and singing songs. My main instrument is the acoustic guitar, but I also like percussion instruments (Cajon, Maracas, Gurio). I love composing melancholic and poetic ballads. But sometimes I also write (black) humorous songs, jazz style and rock songs. My main language is German. But in the future I want to write more songs in English and occasionally also in French.
In my compositions I am inspired by Leonard Cohen, John Lennon, Jacques Brel, Van Morrison and Bob Dylan. On my records I play and sing all by myself. My vision for the future is to find musicians from different cultures who would like to share their tracks with me.
My personal mantra is a sentence written by Paul Mccartney on the Beatles album "Abbey Road on the track "In the end" almost fifty years ago:

The love you take is equal to the love you make.

Composer of Quirky Lyrics and Squiggly Melodies.
Author of "The BumbleBeatle Battle" Novel.

And a Part of this Grand Orchestra.
The One And OliBoli.

NOTICE: I DO NOT PAY FOR PROMOTION. EVER.

SPOTLIGHT:  With Sexagenarian Volume VI now complete, the final volume of songs from my 60s, which will be Volume VII, gets underway with "Get On With Your Life." Check out the other five (5!) volumes of Sexagenarian as well. What happens after my upcoming 70th birthday? TBD!

BIO: I started writing songs in high school (1969-1973!) and I've pretty much never stopped. These are mostly solo recording projects (my brother, Fog City Fogey, contributes sometimes).  I don't do much self-promotion, not a fan of Repost Exchange etc, so all of you who find this page and like a song or two - you are truly appreciated!

Finest sleepy garage jazz on the market.
Only original tunes.

From the live houses of the Jing to busking in tunnels (Granted, the 33.3% donation rate was based on the fact that he had removed his stifling white collar shirt and was dancing bare chested) in Singapore, Psychedelic Revolution (aka Psyche Rev) is a one man project that likes most things such as alt r&b and alt rock. Made it as a semi finalist in 'Song of the Year' competition in 2022 with his song 'Cassius.' Finalist in 2023 with 'We'll Go Down.' Finalist in 2024 with 'Sigh' and also taking semi finalist positions with 'Heartbeats & Inner Turmoil' and 'You Had Me'. Finalist in 2025 with 'Cold Cold Storm' and semi finalist with 'So Typical.' Tastes like Kung Pao Chicken. Looks like a cross between Brag Pitt and Heath Leather. Smells like team spirit. Feels like baby powder. Oh the music. Yeah, it sounds good. 


Don't respond to DM's on here so if you would like to get touched pls contact  via some other avenue. He does have a sun fetish though.

Daily Musing:

Dec: a cover. Demo version.  I'll use ChatGPT for some basic mixing instructions. That's what I discovered this guy on reddit did for mixing. A clue as to who it is-it's a song from a Tarantino movie.
But I will do a full length cover for once.
 I've been thinking that I want to do a 'How to Train Your Dragon' theme. I've really only seen the third one and the live action version (the recent) but they moved me. Multiple times. 

As far as my middle school 'friends' go, well I'm really a huge fan of that guy one who went through his ex's phone, cried on a date, and then hacked her when she broke up with him. The quote was, "what did I do wrong?" A better question would be "what did I do right?"
And the answer to that question is...nothing. 
"Critics are saying Em's new stuff is as good as his old stuff."
A) music critics are more like lyrical critics. 
B) I'd be satisfied with "music critics are saying ...and I agree."
This quote just shows a lack of ...identity.
"We've been fans of Em since Infinity."
Now, this is like saying I've been a fan of Prince since Purple Rain or a fan of GNR since Appetite. Anyone with half a decent brain would go, "motherfucker you weren't born in the 80's."
And then there was the talking in 3rd person. The ' so and so 2.0.' 
A definite upgrade in the hacking department and a downgrade in the EQ department. 
I'm also really a huge fan of the guy who kicked his ex.
I'm also a huge fan of the guy who got his head shoved down the toilet and claimed 'PTSD.' 
Soldiers who've served in Iraq and Afghanistan: Really? Would he like to go on tour with us?
I think he'd die of super PTSD before the plane takes flight so I can answer for him.
So this guy spends the better half of his 20's accusing his friends of "shoving a lollipop up his ass."
After telling him twice, "I didn't do it" he finally believes it when he the people that did do it tell him. Now, ya see toilet humour is more of Gazza's thing and not mine. In Gazzas' defence, no one shoved a lollipop up his ass. They put it on his ass cheeks. 
So if we slippery slope the guy who's been there since Infinite and the guy who got a lollipop 'shoved up his ass' . Maybe when he reaches 40 he'll tell the truth. By the way, 'alleviate' is an SAT word. Good job. Try using a word that the average mortal uses like 'lessen' instead of trying to impress other people with that thing you call a brain.
 I'm dying to hear a conversation between you two.
"I was here since the dinosaurs." Oh this is the guy who gets offended if you make fun of his ears. I haven't really said the worst thing he's done cos' that would make his ex 'flip out.' Not sure she knows. Well, his lil bro discovered it on his computer and I saw.

"Well you guys decapitated me in grade 8."


Well wasn't it Gazza? btw he dislikes it when you call him this. He dislikes a lot of things really and he really only does things he 'feels like'.  One of my fave things he's shared on wechat before was when he shared "I'm not racist but guys like this give black people a bad name." Which was a fancy way of saying I'm not racist but I actually am. Which is also really rich considering he used to say the N word a lot when he was young. Then, there was the hilariously self aware post him moaning about people who moan on the basketball court. Truly a man's man is Gazza.  See Gazza here sulks and pouts more than any other guy I know. Entire chapters could be dedicated to him sulking. That one time he got poor grades. Those weeks he got his high school gf pregnant. He makes Nicholas Anelka (Le Sulk) look like Roy Keane. 
After thinking for a bit about why he would make fun of my ex for not having any boobs it's cos Gazza here had moobs back in the day and needed to bring someone else down to make his fat self feel better about himself. Don't worry Gazza, when the moobs return when you're older I'll be laughing. 
006: I can't believe you dislike him more than me. 
For your ex James?
No, for me.
Things I like about 006:
-his charisma
-his humour
-his soft side when he admits to crying to 'Spaceship' and 'Hey Mama.' I don't get why he cries in 'Spaceship' but...I can respect that.  Cos' a fair assessment of his English and it's fluent but I don't think he understands 100% of Kanye's lyrics. He gets the chorus for sure. 
What would 006 order at Mcdonald's?
Double cheeseburger or spicy Mchicken. Same order as me. Cos' "Big Mac is too much for him now."
And one of his fave hip hop producers? J-Dilla. I've never heard J-Dilla but I hear Nujabes is Japanese J-Dilla.
Anime he likes: One Punch Man where he searched for it. I watched it cos' of my old job. It is very funny. Though my fave is Samurai Champloo.
Amateur psychoanalysis of 006:
Complex relationships with women cos' his mother was very harsh on him as a kid. Therefore, at a young age he learnt that girls were not 'angels'. Seduction method went from "play to your strengths such as dancing" to more versatile when some Chinese person taught him more modern methods to attract modern Chinese girls. Methods include 'buying them stuff.' Yeah I liked his own method better.
Although 006 had The Joker as his wechat pic for the longest time there are differences. The most important 1 being if 006 was given the choice to either screw 1000 beautiful women or screw 1000 beautiful nations over he'd pick the former. I've met criminals who actually live up to Joker's idealized version of a criminal who doesn't care about money. Case in point being Darren. I do respect him cos' his gang doesn't need the money and does it for the thrill. I sat in on a meeting where it was "let's use chlorafoam on the guard." He's pretty much a modern day Ned Kelly. A fun Hollywood film would involve the 2 of us. Me bulking up and going through some BOPE training only to be tasked with taking down 1 of Australia's criminal masterminds. In typical Hollywood fashion you'd have the protagonist torn between the law and his memories with his childhood friend.  My take on it would be: 
"Congrats on the promotion. We need you to take down Darren."
"Nah."
"Why not?"
"He's always shown me respect in the 2 weeks I've known him"
"You're fired."
"Mmm,kay."
As for why I did what I did. Again, I do like artists wikiquote pages.
Let's find someone with a personality type similar to 006's-
"Revenge is good. I think revenge is healthy too, and if you can use music in that way, a sort of therapeutic way for yourself, it can't do any harm. So if King (For A Day...Fool For A Lifetime) is angry in any way, it's angry in a random, chaotic, healthy way. Like the guy who goes into a building, shoots a bunch of holes in the wall and then leaves. He didn't kill anybody." - Mike Patton
The next one I can tell a joke about and relate to finally.
"Recently, a girl chained herself to me with hand-cuffs after a gig, just because I refused to talk to her. I politely declined, though. I am a well-bred boy. I don't want to be too specific, but... it got pretty ugly."
A few months ago, a second generation Indian girl from the UK who liked my music started sending me pics of owls. She's 16. 
She then asked,
"Do you like owls?"
"I don't like or dislike owls." 
"Do they have owls where you live?"
"Yup but I've never seen one."
She then admitted to liking older men cos' of daddy issues.
After another pic of an owl on another day.
"Stop it. Just stop."
*proceeds to send me a pic of herself in teal lingerie*
"Thank you but this is really inappropriate." 
Admittedly, she got the colour of my fave lingerie right without knowing.  I also didn't know what was going on about that 18 year old WAB student  (how'd you know she was 18? only 18 year olds are allowed outside at lunch) who stared at me for over 15 seconds so I consulted this 16 year old. I didn't know cos' usually the staring thing goes 'we stare for 5-6 seconds' then you look away and I look away. Then we might stare at each other again. Except this person just started making me feel uncomfortable. 
Tho the consulting thing worked and she was right
"how come you like her and not me?"
"well she's legal." (translation: I just don't find you attractive)
A few days later:
"I have no rizz." (For those unaware of gen z and this pretty ugly sounding word that rhymes with jizz-another ugly sounding word, it means pick up skills)
"Alright since you helped me out I'll help you out. See, with guys it's not so much about your 'rizz' as it is about understanding them. I've definitely fallen for girls that I usually don't find that attractive. This one British girl on a company trip in Malaysia who worked on the island noticed me. She had dyed red hair.  It was a company get together and we were playing games and I was making all these sarcastic comments cos' company games are kinda lame. Then, for the quiz this question came up and no one except me knew. So I raised my hand. Then, the British girl said, "The one guy who pretends to not care about this game actually cares a lot."  Which was actually a great reading of me. In that moment, I definitely started liking her. So if you can do that to guys it will be better than your 'rizz'. 

006: OK let me tell you about this guy. He's not perfect. Did he ever tell you about that time he missed an open goal? It was PE and he was so confident. It was like less than half a metre away and he blasted it straight into the post. 
See 006 will tell this story like it was a world cup final. He is missing out a couple of details when he usually tells it. It was a sunny day. 
006: i thought it offended you.
It offends me that you think it offends me. 
Rick James: Charlie here tells it like it was a world cup final...
yeah I remember missing that open goal.  

So my sister returned from uni and I asked her about that 20 sec girl. 
"She lives there"
"I know her."
I will spare you the details but I remember feeling very happy. We usually go to the movies together and one of our better conversations while waiting went like: 
"Did mum and dad let you stay out late?
"Nah it was a 9 pm curfew. Party hasn't even started."
"I know right?"
"So I would drink faster and get drunk a lot."
"Yeah that's what I do too."
"So how I got around that was that I took our principals signature and forged these Great Wall field trip letters. I did get caught once and our parents thought I hadn't gone on the field trip."

If Raymond is aware of this I would like to offer my apologies for impersonating his name. 
My sister and I went to see Mad Max 2 and it was a cinema at 20% capacity. So we're both sat there and this vicious looking skinny guy walks in with a full body of tattoos and also his gf (the one with the shit on her face. Pulp Fiction reference) who had a lot of piercings. They were both wearing all black and I thought he was a member of the triad or something. So he accuses me of sitting on his seat and I reply, 
"好像是吧" (It appears so)
"不是好像。是就是” (it's not appears so. It is so.)
He got all irritated and I smirked and said fine. So we sat behind him. 
Then after a while I noticed that he had black nail polish on so I'm guessing he was more of a goth than a triad member. So I looked to my left and realized that this was my sister and not a girlfriend or something because I'm not Targaryen and would never commit incest. So then I kicked his chair.
Now I understand where he's getting all of that aggression from. His girlfriend is right there and he doesn't wanna lose face. But I did fantasize about what I would do if my gf was sitting to the left of me. 
*bites earlobe*
"Witness me."
*dumps Coke on the head of the guy sitting on from me."
I have thought of the consequences. I might be banned from the cinema chain. 

I heard some people wanted to donate some money and pay for my monthly mixing. And, I was very happy about it. I recently came into some money like how Starlight got insurance. The first thing that came into my mind was how I didn't have to take shit from my bosses anymore. You know, they say "不是说人是说事" (I'm critisizing what you did. Not you as a person) And, it's these same people that proceed to critisize you as a person after that. So, I no longer have to take that shit and I couldn't be happier. So, it's an A+ of a year. I'm still temping every Tuesday. Thankfully, the new school seems to be accomodating. What happened at the last school was...an obvious case of "management is restructuring"
Since Starlight might still be feeling semi embarassed about her insurance I got plenty of 'embarassing' moments with her. She was like the first girl I liked who I talked to. So, it was actually outside Gazza's place where I said,
"Happy bday Starlight, here's a cake. Bye." I said it quickly. Understandable yes, but much quicker than how I usually say things. Followed by 2 years later,
"I'm sorry for what i did to you."
"It's OK."
There you have it. My only 2 lines with her. I do have probably over 10k worth of lines with her...on MSN Messenger. Yes, it was a proper 00's romance. 
The song...if you like it it's for you. I don't want to put pressure on anyone by saying it's for anyone.

Luv to anyone reading this. Basically I produce all of my own shit and sing aswell. The music speaks for itself. I try and be nothing but honest through my lyrics so to understand me better it looks like you’re gonna have to hit play ;)

@_alex._.hugo on ig

Why I Had To Learn

CW Mullins