:( 2

New private playlist

Features

thoughtform collective - July 2021

Lockdown Vibes

Syck

wait for you

ft https://soundcloud.com/hoeplessboy 
prod https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV8-64sUPJNAWOvfDrak4SQ
cover art https://www.instagram.com/iamyxngaj/

8 missed calls w/hoepless (prod. aspect)

daisy chain noose!



eyes bloodshot

ive been crying too much

daisy chain noose- didn't kill me

i feel fucked up

its summer

but i've been feeling colder

no one helped me up when i fell down

im a loner



ive been seeing pretty ghosts again these days

filling me with potions- to keep me awake

i remember i got bullied on the playground

now you tryna pull up in my dms saying "hey now"



wait now!

im not tryna play now

if you tryna hop on me, then stay down

go back to the circus, look like a clown

i rose to the surface, ma looks so proud



eyes bloodshot

ive been crying too much

daisy chain noose- didn't kill me

i feel fucked up

its summer

but i've been feeling colder

no one helped me up when i fell down

im a loner



choking-

on my own breath

i feel so sick

struggles-

i been having 

helped me write this



choking-

on my own breath

think i like it

struggles-

i been having

i think i like this



i've tried practicing sobriety

i guess

2nd week-

my anxiety- kicks in

light a spliff and i take another hit

oh shit

my anxiety kicked in



eyes bloodshot

ive been crying too much

daisy chain noose- didn't kill me

i feel fucked up

its summer

but i've been feeling colder

no one helped me up when i fell down

im a loner

daisy chain noose! (prod. sorrow bringer)

LYRICS:

MELMIGE:
i got a problem, but i won’t stop it
igniting insecurities with the engine of a rocket
and honestly think i got in too deep in my psyche 
to understand my feelings are valid 
every time i walk in front of a mirror i smash it
pick the shards out my hands and think it’s a challenge
to see how many more blows i can through at the wall till my hands broken down can’t be used at all
got my medicine on my desk pills all stacked
orange bottle and white child proof cap
few weeks pass bottle still at max
fuck, i should really start taking that crap
cause an inherited condition always gives me tunnel vision 
blocking rational decisions and i lack a true intention
to go to bed at a reasonable time 
i’m finally alone at 2am let me unwind 

spend my money as soon as i get it
think i have a lot then i gotta pay rent
go to school i always learned an education was important
but unfortunate for me the motivation’s lying dormant 
am i lazy? wait no i’m just depressed
tightness and pain will inhabit my chest
and anxiety will break the ceiling send me into orbit 
and absorb the negative energy like spongebob on i’m porous
at least in a sense that illness permeates through me
the kind in your mind someone pls sedate me
so i can finally get a good nights sleep
where i’m not paralyzed from the neck down let me count sheep
maybe i complain too much, let me introduce myself i’m Mel
i reside in hell with these problems and doom, all of this i deal with and it’s not even noon

KYOKOSGARDEN:
I'm not having a good time right now but that's okay I can't complain
so kid you only live once, so don't go being sad every day
it's not all bad
it's not all the same
so here's to a day in the life of fucked up kids
who have hard times
they get through the day saying i'm fine
yeah that's a lie

MELMIGE:
hold up a minute now i have your attention did i mention that i have good qualities too?
think i’m nice to friends know they got good intent, wait fuck, what if they hate me too?
sorry lost track but i’m back relax try to laugh
when i want so i don’t appear rude
promise that i’m enjoying myself, sometimes i space out and forget that i’m in a good mood
cause i’m not here to complain just try to explain my brain 
and maybe someone out there listening can relate to my pain
feels the same, worry is proportionate to the problems and strain
all the things i do seemingly toxic and destructive 
are the product of a human who doesn’t know how to function 
verbalizing how i feel is sometimes kinda difficult 
and i find that making music can sometimes resemble 

a form of therapy in a way tangled in a web i didn’t even know had been made
but the spider isn’t here think it’s gone for the day
so i’ll sit and wait as i slowly decay
cause that’s what depression really is
struggle with no progress you’re just trying to live
daily tasks that seem so easy to do 
makes you feel so pathetic and pitiful too
brush your teeth fold your clothes put your food in the trash
take those 10 water bottles off your desk do the math
if i’m productive for an hour can i take a bath
and soak in the water and try to relax 
but i cry and whine online to friends that i’ve had
for years but only seen their face on a snapchat
or twitter thread discord or instagram missing them 

but how can you miss someone you’ve never met?

a day in the life (ft KYOKOSGARDEN) [prod. pieper]

pleased 2 meet u! + sadghost (prod. sorrow bringer)

prod.https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCTKma1YyLMKZof7g10Iltsw

hate u more than i hate my dad (prod. arey)

featuring: https://soundcloud.com/honeynugs
prod by: https://soundcloud.com/irby314

nuisance (feat. honey nugs) (prod. irby)

produced by @jolst and @irby314

LYRICS:
 I can't believe it's come to this 
I'm wasting my life away 
spending every day just to exist with a minimum amount of pain 

get home and stare at the ceiling 
maybe if I close my eyes, this time 
my soul will rise above the rooftops 
and I'll slip away 

'cause I'm so tired of feeling like I'm doing something wrong 
27 years and I'm bled down to the bone 
and after all this time I still have nothing to call my own 

'cause back when you were sixteen 
with the world stretched out at your feet
you had all these ideas 
and all the plans for where you would go 

I'm sorry I failed you
I swear I didn't mean to 
it's just time goes by so fast
and these paths are harder than you'd expect 

so next time around
I hope that you get the chance 
to live before you're dead. 

I can't believe it's come to this 
I'm wasting my life away 
spending every day just to exist with a minimum amount of pain 

and I can't go on feeling this way 
so I stare at the ceiling and dream of escape 
maybe when I open my eyes 
I'll find a place without any pain.

Exist (p. Jolst x Irby)

being my own enemy feat zion (prod dead spyro)

sick of it (feat. hazenova) (prod. xmichaelwarren)

Produced mixed and mastered by dye'vert

Feel free to repost this track or upload it on other platforms, just make sure to give me the credits <3

lyrics:

idc if you're here or I'm alone now
goin out for a walk in my hometown
thinking about things that could come out
lately everything's a fcking letdown
x3

lately everthing feels so wrong
cause I hate myself and i hate everyone
just to face your help that i don't even want
I just need sum space know your place or I'm gone
x2

idc if you're here or I'm alone now
goin out for a walk in my hometown
thinking about things that could come out
lately everything's a fcking letdown
x2

(alone now)

Idc If I'm Alone

Shut My Mouth

Shut My Mouth (prod. frevel & Jolst)

every day-
i fall more in love with you
my teeth decay
you're sweet like cotton candy too
our worlds kaleid- oscope
i pray, i wish, and i hope-
you'll say you love me the most one day

cause i'll lie awake- and wait for you to text good night
and thinking you'd say good bye- it makes me wanna cry
so i beg and plead that maybe you'll stay with me
i'm tryna my best to believe in love

oranges smell much better with you
and having a picnic's hard, if there isnt two
so i beg and plead that maybe you'll stay with me
i'm tryna my best to believe in love

u make the heartache feel like it was worth it
and i know you don't agree but babe, you're perfect
our worlds kaleid- oscope
i pray, i wish, and i hope-
you'll say you love me the most one day

our worlds kaleid- oscope
i pray, i wish, and i hope-
you'll say you love me the most one day

kaleidoscope (prod. frevel & pekarot)

unbound (prod yung spoiler)

Co-produced by Lemon. and Tay Lewis (https://soundcloud.com/prodtaylewis).

Buy on iTunes

Better For You

www.facebook.com/Kyikimusic

www.instagram.com/kyikimusic

www.twitter.com/kyikimusic





Here For

SNOW LIGHTS & 93FEETOFSMOKE - she said (prod. snow lights)

produced by @ihateshinigami
engineered by heartbreak jake and shinigami
written and performed by macho randy and shinigami

I'm so sorry for what I did last night at that party with her :(

SHINIGAMI & MACHO RANDY "IDK why I'm like this"

New Friend

full of fear *p. foxwedding*

Bipolar

Spiders (prod Taurs)

Destroy ft. capoxxo (odece)

might go cop a brand new loaded gun (prod. caspr)

when i met you

when i met you (feat. Sean Leon)

love you all <3
w/ @hazenova prod. @kuroimetsuyu

Denial Ft.Hazenova (kuroime)

Stay The Night (prod. Discent)

w/ @hazenova <3
prod. @l1lbiscuit & yeezo

Face First Numb Ft.Hazenova (lil biscuit + yeezo)

Featuring: https://soundcloud.com/hazenova
Produced By: https://soundcloud.com/jolst
Mixed And Mastered By Hazenova

something i never had (feat. hazenova) (prod. jolst)

One More Time (prod. pete)

-featuring: https://soundcloud.com/hazenova
-produced by: https://soundcloud.com/everythingmackk

last goodbye (feat. hazenova)(prod. mackk)

Black Røses: Every Sunday
https://soundcloud.com/hazenova https://soundcloud.com/lovelessgroup

sick of it (feat. hazenova) (prod. xmichaelwarren)

Cypression