sick of it (feat. hazenova) (prod. xmichaelwarren)

I can't pretend,
you're not around,
you want me dead,
I want you now,

my lips been chapped,
since we broke up,
its enough, these girls arent enough,

I know that you want,
me back in our bed,
you've been with your ex,
while im in your head,

I used to call you baby,
you know you drive me crazy
said that youd come n save me,
baby, here I am just waiting,

I cant escape the hole you've dug

this is the first beat I bought and the first song I made with jolst :)

lyrics 

painful like a blister
optimism is a sickness
call a liar as ur witness
just to cover up ur tracks
contemplating on my wisdom
do u take the chance n miss em
do u turn around n kiss him
just to validate ur act
but u don't stick to ur bones
there's time to change ur mind n call ur parents n go home
christ, God, put down the phone
binary solarity too hard for u to cope

oh, I'm nothing but a stoner
I'm a deadweight better as a loner
u can cry girl I can be ur shoulder 
I'm alone and I'm only getting colder

my brain has faulty wiring
tryna get undone
the doctors call it bpd
I'm messed up as they come
cause every minor set back 
leaves the feeling of a gun
pressed to my head n then I panic
cause the the chamber to be spun
hey aren't u shamed?
aren't u so n sos ex?
idk maybe I'm just tryna forget
I find it kinda funny that I'm known for my regrets
but the people that uv loved will always try to get revenge
the pain is in my brain n I swear it's gonna last
I'm still got up on the shit that happened to me in my past
disregarding all my feelings cause the time is moving fast
and my friends are placing bets on how long they think ima last
oh I bet that I'll see u in the nighttime 
bad dreams, cracked seams with the red eyes 
my bloods worth less than ur damn time
I'm a corpse tryna fight off these damn flies
oh I already told ya
I won't be sober till some point after October
time flies everyday we gettin older
we grindin hard, we just tryna find some closure

binary solarity (Jolst)

Prod by. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCj5C0NwiOG0MgY5mwf5Ejtw

lyrics: 
I always wonder why you did this to me 
I never got any closure
The pain made me older 
It lingers in my thoughts 
And it haunts me 
Pictures on your facebook  
They taunt me 

I always wonder what it would've been like with you here 
But instead, I'll never know because you disappeared 
Now I feel so unlovable 
cause its all I've ever know

Because when you're ten years old 
You just want your dad 
You never understood how he could be so bad 

I remember laying in your arms 
And feeling so safe 
I didn't know that I would 
Lose you one day 
It's been like 7 years now 
And idk how to process
the fact that i lost you 
It all just feels so wrong 
Idk what to do 
So I'll write another sad song

all i've ever known (Wraith Nîr)

@shikixo
@kindahaunted
RARE VID: https://youtu.be/YXwdBd9copk
lyrics:
baby i don't wanna eat i wanna fade away
i don't wanna fall asleep i wanna die today
i been smoking on formaldehyde it eat my brain
and ik yr fucking him so i just lie awake

well like i guess we were in love until we fucked it up n lost it
i been staring at my ceiling waiting on an open coffin
sick of these 4 walls and the agony of silence
i think i'ma be alright as long as i stop lying
everything i touch been turnin to gold i feel like midas
i can't fall asleep cuz in my dreams yr always dyin
baby why u cryin?
baby r u proud of me?
i did everything i said i would to those who doubted me
but i know u see me with a sold out tour
but i cut 13 lines and i cut 13 more
and i regret it everytime u knock i open the door
tell the boys pack their bags, they're all goin 2 war

4 leaf clover, bby i been feelin lucky
u can take the pain away, it gets replaced with all this money
u cut thru me like a razor cuz u kiss me, leave me bloody
i been gettin better on my own, don't tell me that u love me
u shouldn't tell me that u love me, i don't wanna find out
just a whisper while ur leavin, i don't wanna cry now
i don't wanna know the truth, think i need to lie down
i was thinking u were mine now :'(

and i think something's wrong w my head
i can't go thru that again ;)
i need some rest i'm braindead
need something for the pain

formaldehyde (prod. taylor morgan) [vid in desc.]

timeless gng

unwrote books and passages
time will wake me up id rather be dead
take this plate away from me before i get sick
i love this life and now i dont wanna live
sad.
they live for themselves but they ignore you
thats how it goes it shouldn't surprise you
theres alot of people who wanna look like you
including me you really tinted my hue
you said im bad but im doing fine 
so what the fuck do you mean?
yeah i learned from being a bitch
now im not really that mean no more
i promise ill do better.

unwrote books and passages
time will wake me up id rather be dead
take this plate away from me before i get sick
i love this life and now i dont wanna live
sad.
they live for themselves but they ignore you
thats how it goes it shouldn't surprise you
theres alot of people who wanna look like you
including me you really tinted my hue

what do you mean?
i know im not
i promise ill do better.

unwrote books & passages (wisssery x sharp)

treacherous *mo beats*

SoundCloud struck the original and denied my claim even though i own a lease. so here's the song unmonetized. sorry for the delay.
"lifefuckinhatesme" track 1.
prod. metlast and 5head

lyrics:
i been tryin my whole life
to figure sumn out
but nothin ever goes right
and i thought i was gonna be okay
when you came into my life
but now you're gone
and im pretty sure its my fault
guess you couldnt handle me after all?
and i swear to god this is the last time
cuz all this bullshit weighing down on my mind

its weighing down and its been so fucking long
since i felt okay
im running out of things to say
feelin so fucked up every day

and it never seems like i can ever figure out
wtf is going on inside my mind
but im trying, believe me im trying
but i swear to god it seems like
they're always lyin
so idk why i keep on tryin
i just wanna let it go
and ion really know
why nowhere feels like home

i just wanna go, but nowhere feels like home
i been feelin so fucked up
feelin so alone
i just wish that there was somewhere that i could fuckin go
guess ill just settle for another night stoned...

Spotify

myfault. [+metlast & 5head]

You make me sick 
They way you talk that shit 
Feels lime I’m going crazy 
Tell me Do you hate me 
Give me a sign cause 
Every nights been hazy 
Ever since you came around 
A million thoughts up on my head I might drown
 outta breath  in this haunted house
 I still feel your presence it’s  like I’m being pushed underground 

Just let me sink so I can be 
Where she can’t reach me 
Even though I know I can’t out run for your ghost 


She make a room so cold Shiver iced like winters when it’s hot like a 100 degrees in this house 
Wil you be around when the walls finally come burning down

Wake up in a dream can’t feel a thing 
But I still see your shadows
All my days been the same cant hide my shame anymore it’s hopeless 
But im hoping you dont notice me 
Try to leave again 
She pulls me back rip the bandaid off like a relapse I’m all yours again 

So set me free so I can be 
Alone again 
Burn this place down with my own 2 hands 

She make a room so cold Shiver iced like winters when it’s hot like a 100 degrees in this house 
Wil you be around when the walls finally come burning down

sick of it (feat. hazenova) (prod. xmichaelwarren)

Cypression