Name: Mental Illness (feat. Goodbyewilson) [prod. HXRXKILLER] (Original Version) by Deadfish in The Upload
Duration: 3 min 23 s
Description: a lot of you wanted it back so i'm uploading it again (the new version is still on my soundcloud)

The Upload

praise da most prod seye

idontknow (prod. SXVV)

@lilhappylilsad @teenpregnancy

lil happy lil sad:

imma break down soon
in the same old room
that i always do
i feel so alone 

make some beats and smoke
pray i make it soon
pray they buy my shit
cause im so damn broke

girl im so damn cold
i might freeze to death
rollin up some dope
smoking trees for stress

fuck the life i had
i dont want it back
fuck the friends i had
they just made me sad

now its me and her
bout to fuck the world
we dont need no help
we came up from dirt

i still hate myself
thats a side of me
wanna kill myself
and ive tried im weak

mom would drive me in
everytime i did
i would ask to leave
and theyd give me pills

that shit on repeat
every other week
they would numb me down
till i couldnt speak

teen pregnancy:

lay me down
i dont wanna die
i cant sleep alone
need u here tonight

you were everything
you were my god damn life
now its all fucked up
and i wont sleep tonight

i was snorting pills
you were up all night
i swear i couldnt feel
i was so damn high

liquor in my blood
you were all i want
i gave you everything
i feel so unloved

you finally got exactly what you want
you were off getting fucked and i was so fucked up
fuck the wedding ring fuck this life i lead
got me feeling numb doing bumps off keys

i dont wanna live
tried to kill myself
girl ill numb you too
take your life as well

i wanna watch you bleed
she gets numb for me
lets kill ourselves
so i can sleep

lil numb w/ Teen Pregnancy (prod. lilhappylilsad)

@lilhappylilsad

music video: https://youtu.be/qSVPoTjlw-8

she told me i was nothing n it hurt
she used to make me happy n feel special with her words
i tried to shed some light on all the dark inside of her
she used to be my everything and now im off the drugs 

i fell to the ground
im smoking all the time
just tryna survive
i might kill myself tonight

i never fucking know
when im gonna go
cause one day i am happy
next im strangled by the noose

i fell to the ground
crying all the time
sadness in my sound
i am always on the grind

im always feeling low
stuck inside my mind
i just wanna go
but i never seem to die

always in my bed i made her leave me here alone
screamin at her crying i would point her to the door
all i ever want is her to be here when im low
i try to act unbothered but i end up hurting more
x2

i fell to the ground
im smoking all the time
just tryna survive
i might kill myself tonight

i never fucking know
when im gonna go
cause one day i am happy
next im strangled by the noose

i fell to the ground
crying all the time
sadness in my sound
i am always on the grind

im always feeling low
stuck inside my mind
i just wanna go
but i never seem to die

survive (VIDEO IN DESCRIPTION)

fats'e - apathy (ft. guccihighwaters)

[+] where did your love go? i'm searching the whole globe..
* prod by @vaegud & @hxrxkiller *

special s/o to @pinkcig he bodied this hoe <3

IG: www.instagram.com/seejayxo
TW: www.twitter.com/seejayxo
DISCORD: discord.gg/VRcvcdf
LYRICS:

[hook:]
she just want revenge,
well i dont got the time
i think i'm depressed,
but then again nevermind
used to want a benz,
well it dont matter if i die
face it when im stressed,
just to keep her off my mind

[bridge:]
she just want my bands and i know this
you been on my mind let me focus
yah i been on fire like my flow is
yah i been missing u thats why i wrote this

[verse: pink cig]
bad lil bitch up on my mind, thats why im tryna forget shit
smokin the best shit, i dont got time if you lookin for vengeance
i dont regret shit
you did what you did so i did what was destined
oh how the days go by
baby the pain dont die
all the shit that i said fucked up
baby the drank dont lie so i dont lie often
hope be draining, face pulsating,
percocet im poppin

follow ✦pink cig✦

revenge ft. pink cig (prod. vaegud+hxrxkiller)

Support Lil Happy Lil Sad :
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQeCtYqnhQqhDwjVZ7Yv1Qg

https://open.spotify.com/artist/0r25HIHVcGcaEuJ8s5AK00?autoplay=true&v=A

https://www.instagram.com/lilhappylilsad/

Lil Happy Lil Sad  All Alone

Artist:
https://soundcloud.com/gothurted

Producer:
https://soundcloud.com/metlast

Lyrics:
I know that I got no friends that I can count on
I know that you left my life and that u moved on
But I don't know if I can go ahead
You broke my heart and now I'm feeling dead
I know that I got no friends that I can count on
I know that you left my life and that u moved on
But I don't know if I can go ahead
You broke my heart and now I'm feeling dead

I can't count on you
But you can count on me
You know that I'll be here for you
Whenever u need
Break my heart again
Not even the first time
Smoke to heal my pain
Shawty want to face time
You don't want me to leave
But then you disappear
I'm just trying to live
Even without you

I know that I got no friends that I can count on
I know that you left my life and that u moved on
But I don't know if I can go ahead
You broke my heart and now I'm feeling dead
I know that I got no friends that I can count on
I know that you left my life and that u moved on
But I don't know if I can go ahead
You broke my heart and now I'm feeling dead

gothurted - ahead

[prod. HXRXKILLER] @hxrxkiller

Lyrics:
Theres a reason that ive been so distant 
I figure i can go and hide the pain
ive been on my own for a minute 
And no one sees me when its bout to rain

Dont ask whats going on inside
I dont even know, got death on my mind
Dont ask whats going on inside
Get so fucking high so i dont ask myself why

Like will i always feel like shit
Why do i still love u bitch
Im tryna make it out of this
But is it even worth it

I want to end it all sometimes
Ive been watching all the time go by
Those distant memories 
Feel closer then their meant to

Ive been trying to forget you
Ive been stuck here without you
Was that even the real you
Ive been broken and so bruised

Ive been so stuck in the past
Think of better times, i wish that i was back
i think my whole world might collapse
I think my whole hearts made of glass

I wish that you could tell me
Just don't cry just dont cry
I feel safe by your side
Just dont cry, its alright

Fill my lungs up with smoke
Girl i was waiting, where did you go
Everything hurts me, does anyone know
Where did you go, where did you go

Ill carry on
Imma find a way to make it worth it
As long as im alive ill keep on searching

One more song
Gotta get out all this shit im feelin
Ill be here even when im bleeding

I'VE BEEN TRYING TO FORGET YOU

tysm to @frvrndalwys for collaborating with me on this awesome project <3

Lyrics

[hook: gothurted]
You can see it in my eyes
There is nothing inside me
So sick of this life
And I'm thinking about it
Suicide is on my mind 
Inner peace what I'm trying to find
You can see it in my eyes
There is nothing inside me
So sick of this life
And I'm thinking about it
Suicide is on my mind 
Inner peace what I'm trying to find

[verse: frvr&alwys]
Suicide, don't let me die
My eyes are blind, but I still try
Do you still cry
'Cause I still cry
And I can't find
Some peace of mind
So Imma just do everything to get fucked up again
'Cause I don't really need your voice inside my head
No more pain
No more blood
It's all the same
It's never enough

[hook: gothurted]
You can see it in my eyes
There is nothing inside me
So sick of this life
And I'm thinking about it
Suicide is on my mind 
Inner peace what I'm trying to find
You can see it in my eyes
There is nothing inside me
So sick of this life
And I'm thinking about it
Suicide is on my mind 
Inner peace what I'm trying to find

Inner Peace [prod. metlast] w/frvr&alwys

thank you so much

lyrics:

they say its all in your head
its all in yr mind
we keep thinkin that we're broken we could change on a dime

and i ain't ever felt the same unless i'm rollin it up
i spark the J then take the L because i'm missin yr touch

and i keep wishing on the stars
i can't see 'em are there any left?
portland's real polluted 
or i'm dreaming, or i'm really dead

i turn the lights down low when i'm thinking of her
i'm thinkin wishin on the stars can't hurt

i was, chillin, waiting for you to call back
dbz on the flatscreen all that

and you know just what you mean to me
every time i wake i'm down to give you all my energy

people sayin that i'm next up
i just passed these rappers autopilot in my tesla

and i get real low when the sun don't shine
so you know that ima get real high

and i could rap
till my heart collapse
i won't ever heal
i keep drinking writing songs so i can see if i can feel

i remember how your silhouette danced in the moonlight
fireflies and love in the air by the poolside

yeah i'm a lover not a cool guy
i miss kissin in the mood light
i think the whiskey had us tipsy
would you text me if you miss me girl i'll love you till my heart dies

they say its all in your head
its all in yr mind
we keep thinkin that we're broken we could change on a dime

and i ain't ever felt the same unless i'm rollin it up
i spark the J then take the L because i'm missin yr touch

and i keep wishing on the stars
i can't see 'em are there any left?
portland's real polluted 
or i'm dreaming, or i'm really dead

i turn the lights down low when i'm thinking of her
i'm thinkin wishin on the stars can't hurt

moonlight

no sample /// prod. @antongxldn

sorry for the lack of music, I was homeless for the past year.

Lester's Arc

✦ Other Platforms

mixed & mastered & produced by @foreignhype

MUSIC VIDEO: https://youtu.be/T7pgztww3RI

Open Up N Cry (prod. Foreign Hype) *music video in description*

Produced by DEAD*AT*18

I'VE BEEN SO LONELY :(

wait bby wait pls
coming behind u
tell me whats up
and im glad that i found u

all my life
i've been so lonely
dont know what love is
pls baby show me (x2)

hold me hold me
they don't know me (x4)

im in a wierd fucking place
and i can't go back
if u catch me outside
best believe im wearing black

can you wish me well
should i go to hell
yeah
its hard to fucking tell

its hard to tell
and im going back
besides the fit
my heart is black

all i hear
is fucking lies
i rly feel like im gonna die

i think im gonna die
and i need u by my side
feeling so alive
now i know that u r mine
ur inside my mind
now baby tell me lies
ur inside my mind

wait bby wait pls
coming behind u
tell me whats up
and im glad that i found u

all my life
i've been so lonely
dont know what love is
pls baby show me (x4)

Spotify

w41t (wait) (prod. DEAD*AT*18)

a lot of you wanted it back so i'm uploading it again (the new version is still on my soundcloud)

Mental Illness (feat. Goodbyewilson) [prod. HXRXKILLER] (Original Version)

i've been running round in circles
Tryna figure out where it all went wrong
Been running round in circles 
Thinking bout my life for way too long

I says things that are hurtful
Placing all the truth where it belongs
Fuck it being normal 
I been taking shit for way too long

I ain't no good when I'm without you
But you taste better when I'm missing you like hell
Life goes on without you
And I could lie and say that I’d be doing well

But ive been messing up for a while now 
And I’ve been saying words that dont feel right
i can tell you lie when you come around
Know u wanting more when u coming down when u coming down down down

I ain't no good when I'm without you
But you taste better when I'm missing you like hell
Life goes on without you
And I could lie and say that id be doing well


Been running round in cirlces
acting like a mess
Dont want to want it 
But i know that i do
Im like baby how could
I stay away from this shit
when i dont even fkn care
And Im not doing so well
so i say  

I ain't no good when I'm without you
But you taste better when I'm missing you like hell
Life goes on without you
And I could lie and say that I’d be doing well

But ive been messing up for a while now 
And I’ve been saying words that dont feel right
i can tell you lie when you come around
Know u wanting more when u coming down when u coming down down down

I ain't no good when I'm without you
But you taste better when I'm missing you like hell
Life goes on without you
And I could lie and say that id be doing well

Mental Illness (feat. Goodbyewilson) [prod. HXRXKILLER] (Original Version)

Deadfish

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Mental Illness (feat. Goodbyewilson) [prod. HXRXKILLER] (Original Version)

Deadfish

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tired of trying

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