prod deadfish 
love you all <3

featured artist: https://soundcloud.com/heylog
socials:
https://www.instagram.com/deadfishig/

lyrics:

(I've kept on fucking up
and that's why
I can't keep it up
But now
I'm left here with no one
I gotta manage here on my own)

it's been so cold now
that I've been on my own now
I never want to wake up
these thought in my mind forever

No, I don't wanna hang out now
cause, too busy hating on myself
Just digging my grave deeper
til I meet the reaper
death to me is peace

I hate myself, all my cuts to prove that
I need a break, isolate from all of that
damn, it causes my mind to break
can you say that you relate?

So I've been
tryna find
anything that could help me
and therapy
isn't really perfect
I'm so close to pull the plug
I'm on my own
I'm on the edge

I'm so scared
nowhere to run
But I'm still sitting on my own
well, that's how
my day goes

[heylog]
you don't know
how much u mean to me
i stumble up on my feet
text u and never sleep
i'm happy, this can't be me
cut
me
off
write a song about us
oh numb
i'm hoping ur gone
u caught me a break
recover from loss
but still feel the same

[deadfish]
So I've been
tryna find
anything that could help me
and therapy
isn't really perfect
I'm so close to pull the plug
I'm on my own
I'm on the edge

I'm so scared
nowhere to run
But I'm still sitting on my own
well, that's how
my day goes

on my own

on my own (feat. heylog)

produced by: @freveltrothy
happy halloween (even though by the time I drop this it'll probably be like fuckin 2037)

i think i killed another man last night 
i didn’t even stop to check
either way he’s not moving 

all i need is a mask and a knife
i don’t ever need a glock
little bitch i’m not shooting 

only time i ever truly feel alive
is when i’m cutting thru his flesh
swear the sound kinda soothing 

i took his wallet 
saw his girl as a picture 
go to the address
finish it and bring the jewels in 

so i cry
till my eyes swell up
and i can’t fall asleep 
think i’m too fucked up
room spinning think i’m gonna throw up
and i guess im old news 
your new man look tough 

i wanna bleach my eyes but im way too scared
so i just stare at the sun 
wanna close myself
cus you were never there
at least you’re having fun

i don’t know why i’m like this 
how the fuck could i take another man from his family? 
so i go and wash the knife quick,
think i went overboard 
violence charge my battery 
no point tryna fight this,
know i’m gonna go to jail
insane
yeah i had to be 
when i cut him, kinda liked it 
need to go home now
hope my moms not mad at me 

i think i killed another man last night 
i didn’t even stop to check
either way he’s not moving 

all i need is a mask and a knife
i don’t ever need a glock
little bitch i’m not shooting 

only time i ever truly feel alive
is when i’m cutting thru his flesh
swear the sound kinda soothing 

i took his wallet 
saw his girl as a picture 
go to the address
finish it and bring the jewels in

killer (frevel)

prod fats'e
w/
@heylog  &
@lilskeleskrrt

lyrics:

heylog:
ur across the states, i wish it wasn't the truth
it's either them or me, now ur gone.. you had to choose
so i gave you a piece of art i took time and drew
u can keep it forever, i hope it stays with u
you've got so much ahead of u and goals to accomplish
while i make a song saying "log u need to top this"
but god i'm tired and the struggle is real
i died and came back to life, now i can't feel

fats'e:
life goes on
can't say i didn't try
just not hard enough
found a new timeline
just tossed to the side
died and came back to life

we both come undone
feeling stuck in a loop
that i can't seem to outrun
feeling stuck in a loop can't escape

skele:
n god i’d love to talk 
but look just not right now 
got some shit to say 
i jus don’t know how 
i spent like every night alone jus fucking dreaming of you 
n love i know your hurting 
it kills me too 

n tell me why 
it always gets so hard 
getting out of bed 
feels like i’m heading to war 
n if i saw the reaper know he’d take me for sure
breaking down alone 
i put my head to the door 

i don’t get it 
i thought i was better 
u said it 
so why can’t i remember 
i’m sick of living like this 
i hate the medicine 
im sick of crying like this 
it never fucking ends 

n at this point think i’ve died twice 
really good at fucking up my life 
n i don’t care if you love me
i just need you to lie 
life goes on, i just don’t wanna try 
i got used to all the pain inside

died and came back to life (w/ heylog & skele)

produced by me and @heylog

socials:
www.instagram.com/deadfishig/

Join my server :))
discord.gg/hsUwdAJknJ

lyrics:

I’m broken, I know that
I’m trying to get up
I’m falling apart
That should be enough

showing my good side
Have to keep my composure
But always get angry
I’m tryna keep it closed

Tell me something
I’ll ignore it
Always angry
I’m just broken

Take it out
On people that I care about
Always sorry
For all the stuff that I have done

Someday I’ll fade
Away, regrets
Still there 
6 feet in the ground
With me

Don’t need you to
Pity me, I don’t
Deserve anything
Oh anything at all

on a borderline to kill all things i obtain
all i gave was kindness, u don't provide the same
i leave it all inside but man i'm bound to explode
i'm holding in my blood that just might come out my nose

i don't really see a point in this
ima cut you and your stupid friends
before i hang up get the bye bye
no voicemail i got the right mind

ima bleed out if i don't cover up
my wounds hurt, they're all deep cuts
so i stg u need to stay away
behind my back i could feel ur blade so

stab me good and cut my face and gouge out my eyes
staring at a wall i've stared at too many times
the way the shadow shapeshifted its way in the light
sinking to the floor cus it turns out i was right

broken

broken (feat. heylog)

stream

produced by me
guitar played by acey

lyrics
here i am takin steps
stress for what curls to the edge
im running from whats inside of me
im being confronted by my biggest enemy
oh my biggest enemy standing front of me
blood between my fucking sheets, i hated you anyway

fictional or just a dream, its gonna happen anyway
look at me rotting beneath, demigorgen inside my brain
waking up from this lucid dream everyday feels the same
rotten smell from them truey jeans
back to reality
craving for attention  you fucking cunt
i dished out my love and you took the hunt

fictional or just a dream, its gonna happen anyway
look at me rotting beneath, demigorgen inside my brain

does that make us bad, people
not you
she told me she loves u, i wish you had said it
i wish youd had said it rlly i wish you had said it
(look at me rotting beneath)
I HATED YOU ANYWAYS COS YOUR A FUCKING CUNT

i suppose i'm not done
bury the noose it seems rather fun
destined to die behind the sight of a gun
you scared to die no it might be fun
keeping track of time tho my journeys begun
stay away from me you fucking cunt

i'm getting sick of that feed
now its time to leave
ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ
#jeremyclarkson

journey

produced by sleepwater leftquiet and heylog
w @heylog

im losing faith and abilities
i wish i was brave im never at ease
what did you say to me
nothing was made for me
nothing went the way of the willow
ill sit right here and wait by my window

picking leaves for you to see
i hate these trees when i cant breathe
im sick of me i said too much
i hate myself not scared to crush
im not scared to crush
i hate myself
not fair no touch
i did this to myself

come destroy me now i rlly wanna know
i locked inside your arms
i hate the way it goes
im locked inside a farm 
while u remove his coat
ive never had the time 
to let anyone close

heylog:
just a log and a tree standing open in fields
rough times for a being if u don't know how to heal
kill me lover, push below the ground
oh i can't stand it here, not even an ounce
oh you
oh my
come back
to my side
i dont know myself
dont go ill stay and get help

no i dont miss you
hate what u done to me
say that your in love me
200 hundred days
where i would see you
i made a mistake
now i cant see you

fields w/heylog

guitar by @nevrfall
produced by heylog

lyrics:
rotting my flesh
mold in my lens
i feel corrupt
everything is a mess
i hear noise and groans
my systems broke
i'm deader as dust
takes over my bones

she
eats
slowly at me
i'm like her dessert
my skin is to feast
she
eats
every bit of me
gnawing my flesh
body slowly depletes

thank god i'm all alone don't gotta worry bout a damn thing
she loves makin eye contact with me now i just translate
while both her irises are narrowed by her pupils
caught up in the moment, every single time it's crucial
babe it's crucial
loving you is brutal
i'm willing for another shot to be quadruple
but your approval
it's only your approval
the only person is with me whom you'll be truthful

run from her fast
don't let her grab
or else she'll latch me
and start attacking

(x2)
she
eats
slowly at me
i'm like her dessert
my skin is to feast
she
eats
every bit of me
gnawing my flesh
body slowly depletes

spotify

gnaw

https://soundcloud.com/heylog

i run away out of fear and out of panic
i dissipate everybody who cause damage
i love it here
i think i can manage
i disappear into trees and into foliage
i walk a path, clear my head for my advantage
no one knows i'm here
no one knows i vanish

walking through mud, all the mire's climbing up my pants
water soaking through my jeans, why is it all swampy land
i'm so getting sick of this, take me to the flower field
i need to lay down and rest
sleeping would be ideal

love

vanish

SPOTIFY

heylog - vanish

i seen your eyes turn to water
you must be so ahead idk what u wanna hear
from me, now im older
glass feels colder
inside looking out
what if this how they view me from the outside
ur looking down on me
ur looking down now
this blasphemy 
it all comes round 
you were bad for me
im so fucked now

i could take a knife out
put it through my wrist
let you grab it with your hand just so you can twist
i wont tell nobody
youd never hurt a soul
dont try to complicate it
ur doing it wrong
you can try and stop me however you want
ill put a hole through ur head
and then ill spin it off
im sick of being vulnerable
no one listens now
youll never get ahead of me 
ill just rip you down

ur splitting personalities 
i swear nobody gives a shit
walk right over me, ur never nice oh no one bit
i must be such a disgrace, im holding you back
covering my ears oh i love when you laugh
but its bad
i see ur faces walking round like you have
other family you throw me on my ass
never mine and its honestly sad

wrist

can i not make you proud?
is being alive, just enough to let you down
you can hold me as close as you want but ill drown
i think you already know that
it seems you already knew

how can you want me so bad
and then pretend you never knew me
oh
a tall order, such a tall task
but one you did so easily

take all i know away from me
and all that i love, just leave to me to decay
til im skin and im bone and im waffer thin
maybe youd like me better that way
ill cut my hair and you wont recognise me
honestly i dont know what you want
ill grit my teeth and ill come out of hiding
im in the forest, dont tell anyone

how could you love me
i knew some day youd do this
and thinking bout it
i probably persued it

fuck this, ima get so angry now, angry now
say some shit i should have talked about

how did you get angry when its me you were abusing
ask me where im going every minute you were choosing
angry with me every second, how did i not lose it
guess i kinda did how i reacted like a human
pull me from these strings, im not a puppet for your using

but no one noticed
thought i controlled it
but everytime i go to talk, i hide my feelings
i keep my mouth shut, in fear of arguments
i read somewhere thats its unhealthy, but i live like this
and it wont change
and god knows that ive tried
so if i ruin everything, im sorry
my circuits been fried
im walking on thin ice
slopped on an incline
my flows changed like 9 times
im sorry im ranting

after all 
i amount to nothing
nothings original
everythings been said before
every feeling felt before
every thought been thought before
every thing been seen before
but i thought
i could do it with you
oh how shameful
and i could feel them with you
oh how painful
that i confuse it with you

on my own (feat. heylog)

Deadfish