whole project is beautiful especially this one

visiting

I haven't left this hole in weeks
Relive the same day on repeat
You're gone, there's nothing left except this letter
I take a pill and go to sleep
Watch my life play out on screens
It's been too long, okay whatever (Oh, oh, oh)
I've never felt so far away
When you're with him, I'm wide awake
Tell me love, does he do it better?
Think I'm running out of time again
Pack my bags, don't tell my friends
You must've known this won't last forever
But now I'm falling to pieces
I don't have a reason
You were all that I needed
Now I can't stop the bleeding (oh, woah)

I fell in love with someone I imagined you to be
I just wanna get some sleep

I can't talk about it right now, it takes a little time
I went everywhere with you, now I can't even go outside
I been talking to the devil, think for sure I'm gonna die
But maybe that's just fine, maybe that's just fine
Is it fun for you to make me feel like this? Don't fucking lie
Leave me lying on the tile while my veins are running dry
And I know that I'd do anything to fake it for the night
Just tell me that it's fine, tell me that it's fine

I'll just rot away inside, do the only thing I'm good at
They were never there for you, so don't you fucking look back
Wait until they see you on the stage, you can look 'em in the face
Show 'em everything they could've had
Now I talk when I want, I don't owe you a response
My replacement left, that's not my problem
Love me when I'm gone, then pretend you're better off
I got everything I wanted
I got everything I wanted
I have everything
(Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh)

I can't talk about it right now, it takes a little time
I told you that I loved you and you didn't seem to mind
I guess I'll leave you alone, just tell your friends I fucking died
I'm writing this about you to remember I'm alive
I fell in love with someone I imagined you to be
I just wanna get some sleep
Before I remember

I can't talk about it right now, it takes a little time
I went everywhere with you, now I can't even go outside
I been talking to the devil, think for sure I'm gonna die
But maybe that's just fine, maybe that's just fine
Is it fun for you to make me feel like this? Don't fucking lie
Leave me lying on the tile while my veins are running dry
And I know that I'd do anything to fake it for the night
Just tell me that it's fine, tell me that it's fine

it takes a little time

prod. secre swallowtail x heyrick
mixed/mastered by me
quote from spice and wolf <3

Lyrics:

oh, i been feelin lately, the hole you left in my cardiac
i guess you could say it, but i really want the privilege
every conversation we're having always feels frivolous
oh yea you think her tongues sharp, just wait until the knife comes
i really hope he loves you, in the same way that i did
cause i gave half my life in pursuit of what you said
blood been pumpin faster, she a heart attacker
these chains around my ventricles shackle me to the chapel

don't wanna break it down but i got words for you baby
this sonnet i'm singing, oh it don't do it justice
oh, im so full of rage uhh, all i feel is hate now
every syllable from your mouth feels fuckin disgustin
i can't shed now, my tears have burned away
oh my passionate admiration for ya, has only turned to disdain

[bridge]

my heart's been disfigured by the shadow of a sinner
every time you text me oh my sanity runnin thinner
we were meant to be but baby we can never be
cause i see right through you and every lie ya said to me
you thought of yourself as knowledgeable and worldly
but honestly you're as immature as it gets
and with every nerve ending in my body
i wanna be loved in the same way i love another

clearly you dont see me
heart's green with bleeding envy
i see right through you chest untempered glass
even the holy blessed temple won't offer sanctuary to your ass
everything you wrought, was of your own accord
and honestly i think you left cause you were bored
and that might just be fine if i could get you out my mind
striving for that point where i don't love you anymore

cardiac_arrest (secre x heyrick)

Wanna whip a foreign
Only whipped a focus
That was just my brody’s tho like I ain’t even own it
I ain’t even have to cause he had paid it forward
Imma pay it back if I ever get it sorted

In my body in my blood
I was down to give it up
Hold you closer when you come
Wonder what you’re thinking of
Wanna ask you when it’s done
Was it ever good enough?
Think of when our legs would touch
And I miss it so much

Would you call it off if I can’t feel at all?
You never said it back
So only time was lost
And it’s just different now
Cause we don’t even talk
But if you’re happy there
You know it’s all I want 

Quick one turning into three months closer 
Clearing out some space for your stuff when you’re over
Said I did enough but I’m just doing what I’m supposed to
Everything I thought cause I don’t got that much exposure 
To broke hearts living in a broke mind
I’ll be in a box in the ground in like no time
You don’t gotta worry tho it’s bigger than you playing me
Wonder why it took like half a year for you to say to me
like anything about the way you give it up

The way I cope with shit myself it’s pretty hard to judge
But I don’t put it on a soul I keep it to myself
Or maybe turn into a ghost when nothing seems to help
It’s pretty shitty yeah but listen thats just instinct
And we get into it like every time the phone rings
And I’ve been bleeding through the pages in a red mist
Stepping up onto the bridge and then it kicks in

if I can’t feel at all
You never said it back
So only time was lost
And it’s just different now
Cause we don’t even talk
But if you’re happy there
You know it’s all I want

Underfoot

@dylaanlotus 

*lyrics*

riptenshi: 

why do i even try? 
when no one gives a fuck bout my life 
so why do i even try? 
(why do i try shit?
when everything always goes unnoticed)

my heart, my heart is broken 
they tore, they cut me open 
no ur not the same, the same person 
idk why u've changed, im still uncertain 
drowned in misery and hella bourbon 
u won't even look at me, i hope it's worth it 

im soulless
my body is so vacant 
hold me if u mean it 
hold me if u mean it 
slam the gas forward 
im reaching for my passport 
don't think that i'll make it 
don't know if i'll make it

dylan lotus: 

why the fuck you switchin sides?
aint no point in lovin, i been broken out my mind
i swear i got way too much bullshit in my life
i swear i dont think ill make it out alive
im just hoping youll be hangin by my side

why the fuck you doing this you always grip my spine
and now i dont think ill make it out alive
now im holding the blade of the knife
felt this way for my whole fuckin life





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lil peep, gbc, gbc type beat, lil tracy, sad beat, alternative rock, alternative rock type beat, emotional type beat, emotional guitar type beat, atmospheric type beat, sad beat, acoustic guitar type beat, rock, post punk type beat, pop punk type beat, burgos type beat, convolk, convolk type beat, scum type beat, lil lotus, 93feetofsmoke type beat, shinigami, brennan savage, nothing,nowhere, thebreathingbackwards, thebreathingbackwards type beat, erisu type beat, drippin so pretty, drippin so pretty type beat, yung axstn type beat, Days to Waste type beat, guccihighwaters, nedarb type beat, gearf type beat, smrtdeath type beat, yesterday type beat, killedmyself, suisai type beat, brakence, brakence type beat, sinxi type beat, shattered type beat, familypet, familypet type beat, Lil Agony type beat, ⋆frvr&alwys⋆ type beat, two:22, sosi type beat, OmenXIII type beat, OmenXIII, Sleye type beat, nicholas hunt type beat, VELVETEARS type beat, sewerperson, sewerperson type beat, metlast, discent, tothegood, scruffpuppie type beat, misogi type beat, teddybear type beat, LOVEJUMEX type beat, heroine diaries type beat, nicoteen ninyo type beat, LiL BO WEEP type beat, biteki, lullabyboy type beat, heylog type beat, plxntkid type beat, supachefm type beat, sadgods type beat, diveliner type beat, tommy ice type beat, Powfu, lovespelledbackwards type beat, brody type beat, gothurted type beat, demxntia type beat, Vision4k type beat, cozyboy type beat, Jay Vee type beat, bedroom noise type beat, Foreign Forest, 6HOST type beat, QAWI KAMRI type beat, prettyheartbreak type beat, guardin astari, ʎpoqou, nadiak, ggravee type beat, Coldhart, fats'e type beat, lil aaron, lil aaron type beat, greafer type beat, døves, notmorgn, 6 dogs, barren type beat, reaper, 4evr,unknxwn type whxami, vaegud, splashgvng, Puhf, sketchmyname, smokerose, hrxxkiller, sewerperson, 9tails, cøzybøy, dark trap, emo dark trap 93feetofsmoke, heroine diaries, cozyboy, shinigami, lil narnia, 6host, drippin so pretty, zubin, gothboiclique, kryptik, pollari, lederrick, wicca phase springs eternal, clams casino, ginseng, cry baby, airavata, tundra beats, sketchmyname, hxrxkiller, vaegud, discent, nothing nowhere, horsehead #emo #alternativerock #emorap #altrock

if u mean it w/ dylan lotus [+prod. pekarot x lavendertxwn]

i needa go to work my girl if u hear me now 
i’ll be back at 6
make u food if u want it 
woke up in a good mood 
but shortly after lost it 
this table and this screen 
keep me in like a coffin 
at my 9-5 way too high to be conscious 
broke another streak
i feel bad for my sponsors
need to put this bottle down
head spinnin like a comet
2 litre sprite
pinewood then cherry drop it 

like run your diagnostics 
on my friends 
anythin u want girl
i’ll buy it 
can’t afford a prada bag
so i rolled this 10 
will u hold me down when i get indicted
pass the gas to my homie only smoke fire
hold the knife in my hand and i get excited 
pass the gas to my baby yea she light it
she put flowers on the grave that i’m inside inside in

and it’s like lately
idk, i can’t explain 
i been - 
ugh

i mean, like lately,
i been low once again 
i feel like things are starting to fall into place
then they slip and i drop them 
they smash like a vase
always just a fuck up 
yea i cannot explain
why do i always think people want me this way
then they cut and they stitch n they try change my shape
i pop pills n im lazy 
the fuck can i say
either take me 
or leave me 
stop playing this game 
i’m a person i deserve to be loved and- 

tf am i sayin 
just pass me a 30 n get out my way 
i’ve gone cold through these years that you’ve shredded my brain 
what’s a life without fighting 
feel fuckin insane
did you see how he fell when i hit him again 
i got blood on my hands wash it off in the rain
i can’t make a fist or hold my phone a few days 
but i promise that pussy won’t try it again
all i need in this life is some weed and a pen

i’ll be back at six (nevrfall)

www.carlbymusic.com
Featuring @burylilac
Production, mixing, mastering & additional vocals by @horoshavibes
Additional guitars by @jolst

LYRICS
Rock bottom
Lower than I’ve ever been
Only hanging on for the sake of my friends
‘Cause I got people who depend on me
And a couple bad habits like dependency

I worry ‘bout my mom
How she’d get on without me
I wonder a lot if you’d still think about me
Only hanging on just to spite those who doubt me
So throw me a rope because I feel like I’m drowning

I’m running out of ways to say this
I hate who I’ve been
Need to make changes
I’ve lost all motivation
Along with my patience
Too long I have waited

I’m running out of ways to say
That I hate myself
Wish that I could change
I think it’s for the best
You and I stay estranged
You wouldn’t recognize the shell I’ve become these days

(lilac heart)
Rock bottom
I’m running out of ways to say
I miss the way you’d get under my skin
Breaking bottles broken glass
Is all that’s left of my ‘lil head
I don’t even know where all the time went

I fell asleep in the snow
And woke up burning on the sidewalk
Take this away before I hurt someone
Try to cover the pain
The broken shards are showing through the holes I burnt into my sleeves

Listen on Spotify!

Rock Bottom w/ lilac heart (Prod. Horosha & Jolst)

blink your eyes and it's here

with @ejcarrmusic
executive produced by immortal

enjoy. <3

lyrics:

talk back
nothing short of me
fall back
the life i wanted needs
more than anything at all
something changing when im gone
i can’t tell if i’m just broken
or if all this has a cause
its all in the differential; sub-sequential results
change me like an oil spill in the gulf
my heart isn’t breakable but i know
the mood changes are taking half of the toll
that i pay when im driving past your home
the time frame isnt making sense, no i know
its all fake when i’m grinding down to the bone
i need faith but its hard to believe in ghosts

i tried to see it your way, cuz mine’s much worse
this pessimistic viewpoint just leaves me cursed
i won’t say never, cuz i won’t quit
but nothing ever changes till i’m all in

but when’s that come 
to stop the hurt 
i’m waiting for signs 
that’ll heal this curse 
it’s something that i’ve never seen before 
yet something i know i’ve been bracing for 
and i’ve got this feeling that 
i should just face the facts 
live in reality 
but we both know 
that wouldn’t be me 

i tried to see it your way, cuz mine’s much worse
this pessimistic viewpoint just leaves me cursed
i won’t say never, cuz i won’t quit
but nothing ever changes till i’m all in

i’ll never see it your way, you know it well
i tried to keep the peace here, now i’m in hell
and i can say never, i don’t give a shit
cuz nothing ever changes till im all in

spotify & apple!

heretic w/ evan carr [immortal x splashgvng]

blink your eyes and it's here

with @ejcarrmusic
executive produced by immortal

enjoy. <3

lyrics:
torture me
what you see
is only make believe
forcibly
tell me things
you only wish you’d think

i’m taking back everything i said i would
everything i said i could do for you
just fell back into my hands
it never mattered what i said
cuz by the time i went to bed
i forgot what you told me
just hold me like you love me again
if only you had known what it meant

if only i’d seen the sunshine 
before it died 
the permanent shadow 
it cast across my mind 

if only 
i hadn’t been so selfish 
ensure me
that you’d had done what i did 
but it’s gone 
with the words that i’ll never say 

if only 
i’d had seen the rock 
what it brought 
knocking in circles 
and laughing in purple 
is trapped in a memory 
left with a lesser me 
leading to countless nights 
hurting and wondering 

what if i had told you 
what if i had told you more 

i’m taking back everything i said i would
(what if i had told you?)
everything i said i could do for you
(what if i had told you more?)
just fell back into my hands
it never mattered what i said
(what if i had told you?)
cuz by the time i went to bed
i forgot what you told me
just hold me like you love me again
(what if i had told you more?)
if only you had known what it meant

everything i said i would
(everything i said i would)
everything i said i could do for you
just fell back into my hands
(its all in my hands)
it never mattered what i said
cuz by the time i went to bed
i forgot what you told me
just hold me like you love me again
if only you had known what it meant

(torture me, what you see is only make believe)

if only w/ evan carr [immortal x aidan han]

it's over, u can go home now. w/ casperrr (pekarot)

a cover of “102” by the 1975 / matt healy 

just love this song and wanted to cover it

Well, we're here
We're at the common again
I’ve smoked six of the ten fags that
I only bought an hour ago
Said well I
I like the look of your shoes
I like the way that your face looks
When I'm arguin' with you
And so when
When we all grow old
I hope this song will remind you that I'm not
Half as bad as what you've been told
And when I knock
At a hundred and two
And I see your pajamas
I can't stop smiling at you
And that's why we're here
We're at the common again
I've been pouring my heart out
Towards your optimistic grin
I said well I, I
I like the cut of your jib
I like the way that your face looks
When you're yappin' on about him
But on this shirt
I found your smell
I just sat there for ages
Contemplating what to do with myself
I called you up
At a hundred and two
We just sat there for ages
Talkin' about that boy that
Was gettin' on to you
You, you, you

with the life i’m given, i’m healing.

@lovelessgroup
@butaneband

heretic w/ evan carr [immortal x splashgvng]

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