constant-running demo project of pitched down throwaway or unfinished ideas

dear diary

music that I fall in love with and want on repeat

:) <3 !

New & hot: Folk & Singer-Songwriter

heart locket

the silhouette of you

follow Clairo : @ccottrill
the second single off my new album 'Never Been Cool', out April 13th
premiered over at Hearing Gold - www.hearinggold.com/

follow me on tweeter :) : https://twitter.com/JamesDeenMusic
like me on the facebooook - https://www.facebook.com/JamesDeenMusic/

Girl Feat. Clairo

Space Age Love Song

crappy garage band creations

antidote

creased laundry

clairo - wine

auckland city, rainy

conflicted about a girly 

lyrics:

u the type of girl that loves to talk about you 

brown hair short temper mini skirt ya fucking freckles 

i know 

you love yourself 

texting other guys as well

so do you care for me 

do i regret it

or will it hurt too much 

true adolescent 

a touch of fluorescent light 

ya kinda pretty and u doin it right but

a couple girls that wanna put up a fight

so dont u go

n you'd never know 

so dont u go

n you'd never know 

x

dear diary 003: rain rain go away come again another day

the tree outside my window.

this is how my brain feels at 1am

lyrics:

so I lie 

every night

and think about my life

a blink of an eye

it goes by

wondering when I’ll die

stop me from thinking

and so 

it goes

the same

each day

this game

we play

stop me from thinking

and the wolves come out to play

but my thoughts remain the same

and I dont know nothing

but I wish I knew something 

to make it all go away

dear diary 001: stop me from thinking

sunset blvd, golden hour

painting a picture in my head 

lyrics:

we’re counting the stars in the sky

and I still can not figure out why 

Why my head hurts when I think of you 

Got me saying shit that I’d never do 



shout outs my **** she was the best that I never had 

Just like the text that I left that she never read

and stop overthinking it she gonna write back any day

driving thru the sunset on the ride back yesterday 

i remember you used to call me 

i remember when we’d fight 

you’d remember my stories 

and you’d always be right 

i’d wonder if i was boring

but you’re too polite 

i think about that shit like every night 

while 

we’re counting the stars in the sky

and I still can not figure out why 

Why my head hurts when I think of you 

Got me saying shit that I’d never do 

and i’ll stare at the moon on my flight 

and i’d wonder if we’re matching sight

catch your eyes glistening through the moon 

got my hands swinging like my

fucking moods 



She’s not the one 

I’ve fucked it up once or twice

She’s got a gun 

Like cupid came to life 

She’s just for fun 

But i’m falling for her fucking eyes

she grabs my hand

now its creeping up her upper thigh

We’ll count the stars

no, i’ll trace them on your freckled neck 

I’m not a star yet

But we can just pretend 

I’m not in love 

so I put these feelings to rest

and these ain’t about you

I just write what sounds best

dear diary 002: starlet

its real

sitting in my dads car, 10 years old

I wonder if she'll know these are about her

lyrics:

love my father and my mother i don’t think about them too much

got me wondering if you loved me like you love yours or if you

gotta problem with your father like you got one with me too

it’s alright yeah i get it i don’t really know mine too

but i know you 

you’re kinda cool baby 

i like your shirts

they match your shoes

you’re something new

and i been thinking if you loved me like you do

cause i know that i’m gon get right 

might feel shit tonight

dancing in the moonlight 

turn off that phone light 

get drunk in the night 

something in my eye 

who the fuck is that guy 

he needs black a eye

dear diary 004: when i try to sleep you pass my mind

inside my head a few years ago

the best love song/lyrics i've ever written no cap, wrote this 2016
thank u george

lyrics:
take your heels off, girl 
you've been running through my mind

travel across the sea 
we can do it any time

if you'd like to see the beach 
i'll take you there
for this love affair

cause i'd like to keep you safe by my side

with you in my arms 
is all i can think of
let's turn off all of these lights
and watch the stars out at night 
they twinkle under the moonlight

you turn to me scared
you've never slept in another bed but yours
and that's okay
you'll be fine if you stay with me

you never thought you'd be this happy all the time
i'll take you out on a date
pick you up just after 5

and if you plan on leaving me
well darling that's just fine
i will take you out tonight and i think you'll change your mind

with you in my arms 
is all i can think of
let's turn off all of these lights
and watch the stars out at night 
they twinkle under the moonlight

you turn to me scared
you've never slept in another bed but yours
and that's okay
you'll be fine if you stay with me

cause you are the one
the one i sing to 
we dance to elvis in your room
i pick roses when they bloom 
just for you 
because i adore you

and if you don't know by now that's fine 
i'll still make you happy all of the time

buy you things on my card, wedding rings, take my heart
just for you, i love you, what must i do to win

your passion and admiration
a vacation or conversation
it's all yours if you'd like it to be

dear diary 005: hopeless romance

in my car 12:00am

why I'm scared of love n reminiscing 

(said idk I don't need a reason why)

lyrics:

in the dark I still see your eyes

And in the night I feel most alive

but It hasn’t been the same since you 

i don’t know what to do

My heads spinning around my room

You got me missing your touch

And I don’t miss people much

Cause I know that they come and go 

but I still sigh at night

When I think about the times 

we’ve lied here me and you

Cause I don’t like feeling all alone

Wish I grew up in a stable home 

Catch the moonlight reflecting off my phone

Hear the tears drop sailing on my own 

On my own (repeats)

i fucked up i know it

i always fucking blow it 

cause i’m too scared show it 

to show my fucking feelings 

cause my parents met when they were my age 

i mean they must’ve felt in love at some point 

so i don’t wanna be in love if it means 

getting divorced in your 20s 

i was too young to realise anyway

now i’m too dumb cause i wanna be the same 

the same as them

Cause I don’t like feeling all alone

Wish I grew up in a stable home 

Catch the moonlight reflecting off my phone

Hear the tears drop sailing on my own 

On my own (repeats)


We’ll count the stars in the sky

Said idk I dont need a reason why

Idk I dont need a reason why

dear diary 008: sailor moon (2018)

middle of the night driving with u 2 god knows where, 2021


blinded by the big city lights, and love


lyrics:

superstar (repeats)

okay i’m feeling like a pop star 

but i ain’t dropped my album yet 

got me feeling like a rock star 

when your lip bites my upper lip 

and i think i need a new car

cause i gotta jump start again 

and idk where the fuck i am

and idk this place we in

but i guess you know where the fuck we heading too 

i mean i don’t care cause it’s just me and you

lost my conscious the first time i met you

lost my friendships the first day i met you too

I promise to never leave again

lost my head when I fell in love again

hold my hand as we'll run to the end

popstar

dear diary 010: popstar!

dear diary 011: N/A

NOT A DEAR DIARY

lyrics:

it’s 12 am on a saturday

I think I need a panadol

To make my head okay 

And what did you mean when you messaged me 

Saying that

Its all too much 

Cause my heart can’t stand that sound

I promise I’ll be good to you

Tell you nothing but the truth

anything you wanna do I can make 

That, happen, girl

I just need a second

Fuck 

your tongue don’t taste how it used to

and these songs don’t sound how they used to

but i still the same you

but we’re not the same two 

and you used to rip off my t shirt

yeah my jeans all stained from the bleachers

it makes me miss the old you

i need you like i used to 

then i picked a fight knowing that i’d lose 

but it’s worth it

cause you’re perfect

girl 

and someone needs to treat you right 

i  just want you for tonight 

loving  you would be so rude

your face lights up my mood

in my bedroom


and so i’ll meet you on the other side

so leave that guy

yeah leave him behind 

he won’t mean shit to you

and all the things that i didn’t say

that i wish i did

start to fade away

i was feeling yellow now i’m feeling grey

when i see you don’t know what to say 

*hook reoccurs*

used2theoldu

NOT A DEAR DIARY, UNPITCHED

stupid song about being suffocated by suburbia over LO-FI LE-VI's, YOU

original beat by @lofilevi

thought it was a cute beat xx

lyrics:

so every day i think about what it’d be like to spend the rest of my life with you

and anyway i’m happy that our paths have crossed

cause if not i’d be stuck in

this old town wearing hand me downs

stuck walking around with these drugs we found

couple lost kids down in the dumps but now

they think they’re fine cause they run the town

and anyway

they seem alright, cut grass on boulevards

and anyway

a life of sex and drugs and stupid cars

dog town

living close to your grandma

dog town

sheltered suburbia

dog town

9 to 5 24/7

dog town

pray to god that they find heaven

so i’ll take the bus

never made a fuss

cause i never knew better in my cosy knit sweater

thanks grandma i love you a lot

heart broken, grandsons on pot

better walk the dog

then i’ll do the trash

i hate my school got c’s in math

but i met a girl

yeah she’s really nice

gotta ask my mum if she can stay the night in

dog town

living close to your grandma

dog town

sheltered suburbia

dog town

9 to 5 24/7

dog town

pray to god that they find heaven

dog town

Writing/Performance: Matt Van
Production: @directmusic

Artwork: @samblanc

💔🖤

Stream on Spotify/Apple Music: smarturl.it/MattVan_ThankYou
Buy on iTunes: apple.co/2HEDStY
Buy Matt Van Merch: bit.ly/mattvan_merch

LYRICS:

Stop, look around
The wind blows colder now
Lost what we found, but the weight
Has fallen from our shoulders now
Stop, listen how
The rain falls harder now
Don’t make a sound, it’s okay
It’s out of our control for now
And before I let you go
I just want to let you know

Thank you for the letters that you wrote
And thank you for the loving words you spoke
I’m sorry for the promises I broke
But I think that I was meant to be alone
Our hearts will keep on beating like before
And our bodies will survive through the cold
I’m sorry that I had to let this go
But I think that I was meant to be alone

Stop, look around
Our time grows shorter now
Night’s falling down, but the days
Are far from being over now
And before I let you go
I just want to let you know

Thank you for the letters that you wrote
And thank you for the loving words you spoke
I’m sorry for the promises I broke
But I think that I was meant to be alone
Our hearts will keep on beating like before
And our bodies will survive through the cold
I’m sorry that I had to let this go
But I think that I was meant to be alone

Stop, look around
Face forward, find the ground
And breathe in, breathe out
Smell the roses if you’re feeling down
Oh I never meant to hurt you, this I know
But I know that we can make it on our own

© 2019 Sedan Records
www.mattvanmusic.com

. : . : .

Thank You.

buy / stream

North on K Highway
Out past the salvage yards 
Down that winding road
Through summer bluffs of green 
Sits the river town of Amazonia
Where a little girl dreamed

The elementary school
Sat up on high on the hillside
And she’d walk there in rain or snow
To learn about life outside of Amazonia
And the places she hoped she’d go

The population on the sign reads 312
The Missouri river flows by the railroad tracks 
And she spent summers there, at a cabin where it was about family 
And respectful, well that’s the way you should act

These are things that she came to know
In Amazonia
These are things that she came to know

Well in high school, she was one of the Savages
In a neighbor town, still in the same neck of the woods
And she would grow, and Saint Joe would lead her to a boy
He asked her to marry him, she said she would

Well they got hitched, in the church of Saint John
Seemed like saints were becoming a common theme
And they settled down, back in her river town of Amazonia
And had children, who like her would dream

These are things that she wouldn’t know
Without Amazonia
These are things that she wouldn’t know
Without Amazonia

Amazonia is obscure just like its name 
Where Batman is hidden inside a wall
And where club, made up only of lions
Gather in their assembly hall
And it ain’t for the folks who are looking for the city life
Probably not a good hiding place for Jesse James
Because in Amazonia, like most other small towns
Everybody knows your name

These are things that now you know 
About Amazonia
These are things that now you know 
About Amazonia
And these are things that now you know 
About Amazonia

In Amazonia, I’ll take you fishing
You can talk, I will listen
Come on baby l take you fishing 
In Amazonia, we can talk and wish about anything
We can talk and wish about anything

Amazonia

Lowertown- album 1
George

Im running in circles
 Im following my feet
 Im running out of time
 Im at the end of my line

My hands are 
turning purple with the cold
  This winters is harsh
 But I will find some warmth

(Chorus)
 Low to the ground 
Trying not to make a sound 
I know its not meant to be 
wisdom always has a price 
 Its never given for free

i feel the way my spine is curving
 Its getting out of line
 Stop telling me to thinking so much
 Its not all going to be fine

Now your hairs falling onto the ground 
Your fingers are old and worn out
 The smoke in your lungs weighs you down
  Its time to sleep now
 This is what you’ve become
 Out of breath
  Out of time
  Always there
 in your mind
 In your mind
 In your mind

Im scared for tomorrow
 But I am getting taller by the day
 Im growing
 Im finding my way
 Finding way ... 
finding my way

(Chorus)
Low to the ground
 Trying not to make a sound
 I know its not meant to be 
wisdom always has a price
  It's never given for free 
For free 
For free

- mastered by Grant Lepping (@icycrevice)

George

Lincoln Early Childhood School Principal Mr. Pilger has had some time on his hands. Check out his SnowDay Rhapsody rendition & remember No School 1/29 or 30th

Lyrics:
Is this the real life, is this just fantasy?
Caught in a snow storm, with no escape from reality.
Open your eyes, look up to the skies and see.
Our kids need schooling, parents our sympathy
‘Cause the wind has come, snow has blown
Temps are cold, bitter cold
Anyway the wind blows
Doesn’t really matter, to me, to me
 
Monmouth, the roads are bad
It’s so frigid outside, so stay nice and warm inside.
Roseville, School had just begun
But now the Snow has blown it all away
Monmouth, ooooooooo
Didn’t want to close our school
Weather says no way for our school tomorrow
Carry On, Carry on, ‘Cause we won’t have school tomorrow
 
Too cold, The wind has blown.
Sent shivers down my spine, Windchills dropping all the time
Goodbye to our students, we’ve missed you so
Hope to see you sometime soon, and that’s the truth
 
Monmouth oooo, winds are real cold.
We want to keep kids safe
So keep them inside all day long tomorrow
 
I see a little silhouette of a man
On the News  On the News, saying it will be so cold
Bitter Cold and Icing, Very Very Frightening
Galileo, Galileo, Galileo, Galileo,
Galileo Figaro Magnifico
 
We miss the kids, and miss our school family
We’ll get back as soon as safe for everybody
So stay inside, make some soup or cookies.
Easy Come, Easy Go, Weather can we go?
 
It’s too cold, NO We will not let you GO (Let us Go)
It’s too cold, We will not let you GO (Let Us Go)
It’s too cold, We will not you GO (Let me Go)
Will not let you Go ( Let me Go)
Never, Never, Never Let me Go
 
Oh Mother Nature, Mother Nature, Mother Nature let us go
What on Earth does this winter put aside for me, for me, for me?
 
Some may think that this weather will stop our learning?
Some may think that this weather is going to win?
Oh,  Titans, Can’t do this to us Titans,
It’s a LEAP Day
It’s a LEAP Day for here
 
Oooooo Ooo yeah, ooo yeah
Our safety really matters
Anyone can say
So we will have no school
So we will have no school
Tuesday

There’s no school tomorrow

M - R Snowday Rhapsody

city rat at night

first thing i've written since finishing EP yikes

lyrics:

it was the same weekend 

i was the same, weakened by 

all these thoughts that i think at night 

all these thoughts that just pass me by 

i don’t care if these lullaby’s that i write 

never make it from my heart to your eyes 

i’ll drink some more just to cover up all your lies 

i’ll drink some more to be by your side by your side 

if i close my eyes will i die

dear diary 012: if i close my eyes will i die

Really Proud of this one. Lead single for my new EP out on Groundflower Records

Warm Rain

CHOKER - LUCKY

self pity vs self doubt

present tense about past events 

lyrics:

i can’t feel myself 

when you’re not around 

i think time will tell

i think i need some help 

i turned seventeen last week 

but i still think out loud 

i should’ve ended it last week 

but i didnt know how 

i’m scared you’ll runaway 

i’m scared i’ll runaway 

i hate you for the day

or hate that you won’t stay

dear diary 013: weak, last week

@stupidrichkid

demo burner account
unfinished or throwaway ideas

soundshifter on the master sometimes
or i ran out of storage on main sc lol hi

dear diary 012: if i close my eyes will i die

uhh ok