constant-running demo project of pitched down throwaway or unfinished ideas

dear diary

auckland city, rainy

conflicted about a girly 

lyrics:

u the type of girl that loves to talk about you 

brown hair short temper mini skirt ya fucking freckles 

i know 

you love yourself 

texting other guys as well

so do you care for me 

do i regret it

or will it hurt too much 

true adolescent 

a touch of fluorescent light 

ya kinda pretty and u doin it right but

a couple girls that wanna put up a fight

so dont u go

n you'd never know 

so dont u go

n you'd never know 

x

dear diary 003: rain rain go away come again another day

the tree outside my window.

this is how my brain feels at 1am

lyrics:

so I lie 

every night

and think about my life

a blink of an eye

it goes by

wondering when I’ll die

stop me from thinking

and so 

it goes

the same

each day

this game

we play

stop me from thinking

and the wolves come out to play

but my thoughts remain the same

and I dont know nothing

but I wish I knew something 

to make it all go away

dear diary 001: stop me from thinking

sunset blvd, golden hour

painting a picture in my head 

lyrics:

we’re counting the stars in the sky

and I still can not figure out why 

Why my head hurts when I think of you 

Got me saying shit that I’d never do 



shout outs my **** she was the best that I never had 

Just like the text that I left that she never read

and stop overthinking it she gonna write back any day

driving thru the sunset on the ride back yesterday 

i remember you used to call me 

i remember when we’d fight 

you’d remember my stories 

and you’d always be right 

i’d wonder if i was boring

but you’re too polite 

i think about that shit like every night 

while 

we’re counting the stars in the sky

and I still can not figure out why 

Why my head hurts when I think of you 

Got me saying shit that I’d never do 

and i’ll stare at the moon on my flight 

and i’d wonder if we’re matching sight

catch your eyes glistening through the moon 

got my hands swinging like my

fucking moods 



She’s not the one 

I’ve fucked it up once or twice

She’s got a gun 

Like cupid came to life 

She’s just for fun 

But i’m falling for her fucking eyes

she grabs my hand

now its creeping up her upper thigh

We’ll count the stars

no, i’ll trace them on your freckled neck 

I’m not a star yet

But we can just pretend 

I’m not in love 

so I put these feelings to rest

and these ain’t about you

I just write what sounds best

dear diary 002: starlet

sitting in my dads car, 10 years old

I wonder if she'll know these are about her

lyrics:

love my father and my mother i don’t think about them too much

got me wondering if you loved me like you love yours or if you

gotta problem with your father like you got one with me too

it’s alright yeah i get it i don’t really know mine too

but i know you 

you’re kinda cool baby 

i like your shirts

they match your shoes

you’re something new

and i been thinking if you loved me like you do

cause i know that i’m gon get right 

might feel shit tonight

dancing in the moonlight 

turn off that phone light 

get drunk in the night 

something in my eye 

who the fuck is that guy 

he needs black a eye

dear diary 004: when i try to sleep you pass my mind

inside my head a few years ago

the best love song/lyrics i've ever written no cap, wrote this 2016
thank u george

lyrics:
take your heels off, girl 
you've been running through my mind

travel across the sea 
we can do it any time

if you'd like to see the beach 
i'll take you there
for this love affair

cause i'd like to keep you safe by my side

with you in my arms 
is all i can think of
let's turn off all of these lights
and watch the stars out at night 
they twinkle under the moonlight

you turn to me scared
you've never slept in another bed but yours
and that's okay
you'll be fine if you stay with me

you never thought you'd be this happy all the time
i'll take you out on a date
pick you up just after 5

and if you plan on leaving me
well darling that's just fine
i will take you out tonight and i think you'll change your mind

with you in my arms 
is all i can think of
let's turn off all of these lights
and watch the stars out at night 
they twinkle under the moonlight

you turn to me scared
you've never slept in another bed but yours
and that's okay
you'll be fine if you stay with me

cause you are the one
the one i sing to 
we dance to elvis in your room
i pick roses when they bloom 
just for you 
because i adore you

and if you don't know by now that's fine 
i'll still make you happy all of the time

buy you things on my card, wedding rings, take my heart
just for you, i love you, what must i do to win

your passion and admiration
a vacation or conversation
it's all yours if you'd like it to be

dear diary 005: hopeless romance

my generation record store 2015

taking too many drugs through adolescence, developing derealisation/heartbreak through movies

lyrics:

it seems a bit of my minds at ease 

and idk if it’s all for me 

today

so i throw away the key

hush 

shut your mouth cause it’s all too 

much

infatuation is such a 

rush

and i don’t know why i feel the way

the way i fucking do about you

about you

and so we’ll go to heaven

that’s where all good people go

and i’ll change the weather 

if you want i’ll make it snow 

and you can just laugh 

i’ll try not to cry

as long you don’t choke on your alibi

and i’ll fall in love 

and you’ll say goodbye 

i wonder if my whole life’s been a lie

dear diary 006: choker

not sure

tracing stars on ur back past midnight

(I think I will do something with this song actuallY)

lyrics:

 call me back when you’re sober

fuck snapchat, come over

let’s get lost in the moment 

forget about all of the things that i said 

rather have you in my bed 

prolly leaving you on read 

maybe then you’d leave my head 

then my head won’t no more

yeah i’m waiting by the door 

i feel better when ya stay  

hear my heart race

i fucking love the freckles on your face

in my room, here with you, so what’s good 

wish i knew, what to do, if that all came true 

and we’ll go for a ride 

if you really want to 

count the stars in your eyes

and i think i love you

and i’ll say you look pretty just like that

all i ask in return is that you text back

so baby baby baby don’t you cry, i 

got you got you got you on my mind 

causei wanna wanna wanna spend the night with you 

and everything little fucking thing i do is for you

kelly you're on my mind

I'm not your favourite colour but you're mine

I think about you all the fucking time

the world's ending hold my hand tonight

dear diary 007: my room, our bed

in my car 12:00am

why I'm scared of love n reminiscing 

(said idk I don't need a reason why)

lyrics:

in the dark I still see your eyes

And in the night I feel most alive

but It hasn’t been the same since you 

i don’t know what to do

My heads spinning around my room

You got me missing your touch

And I don’t miss people much

Cause I know that they come and go 

but I still sigh at night

When I think about the times 

we’ve lied here me and you

Cause I don’t like feeling all alone

Wish I grew up in a stable home 

Catch the moonlight reflecting off my phone

Hear the tears drop sailing on my own 

On my own (repeats)

i fucked up i know it

i always fucking blow it 

cause i’m too scared show it 

to show my fucking feelings 

cause my parents met when they were my age 

i mean they must’ve felt in love at some point 

so i don’t wanna be in love if it means 

getting divorced in your 20s 

i was too young to realise anyway

now i’m too dumb cause i wanna be the same 

the same as them

Cause I don’t like feeling all alone

Wish I grew up in a stable home 

Catch the moonlight reflecting off my phone

Hear the tears drop sailing on my own 

On my own (repeats)


We’ll count the stars in the sky

Said idk I dont need a reason why

Idk I dont need a reason why

dear diary 008: sailor moon (2018)

close ur eyes n think of shooting stars

waiting by the window for ** ***  to come save me, age 9 


lyrics:

i’ll leave my heart by the door 

next to your mistakes 

tell me that you feel the same 

tell me that you’ll come my way 


when the silence is broken

just like my fucking heart

stand up at the dinner table 

run to my car

turn the key to ignition 

cause an argument broke out

might crash a night in a hotel

nearly crashing my car 

and i ain’t sleep in the weekends

missing your calls 

i just like act they’re pretend

and do you miss me at all 

i only saw you some weekends 

even then, you were drinking

dear dairy 009: commodore

middle of the night driving with u 2 god knows where, 2021


blinded by the big city lights, and love


lyrics:

superstar (repeats)

okay i’m feeling like a pop star 

but i ain’t dropped my album yet 

got me feeling like a rock star 

when your lip bites my upper lip 

and i think i need a new car

cause i gotta jump start again 

and idk where the fuck i am

and idk this place we in

but i guess you know where the fuck we heading too 

i mean i don’t care cause it’s just me and you

lost my conscious the first time i met you

lost my friendships the first day i met you too

I promise to never leave again

lost my head when I fell in love again

hold my hand as we'll run to the end

popstar

dear diary 010: popstar!

dear diary 011: N/A

city rat at night

first thing i've written since finishing EP yikes

lyrics:

it was the same weekend 

i was the same, weakened by 

all these thoughts that i think at night 

all these thoughts that just pass me by 

i don’t care if these lullaby’s that i write 

never make it from my heart to your eyes 

i’ll drink some more just to cover up all your lies 

i’ll drink some more to be by your side by your side 

if i close my eyes will i die

dear diary 012: if i close my eyes will i die

self pity vs self doubt

present tense about past events 

lyrics:

i can’t feel myself 

when you’re not around 

i think time will tell

i think i need some help 

i turned seventeen last week 

but i still think out loud 

i should’ve ended it last week 

but i didnt know how 

i’m scared you’ll runaway 

i’m scared i’ll runaway 

i hate you for the day

or hate that you won’t stay

dear diary 013: weak, last week

pretty guitar part I like 

me freestyling melody ideas over it

lyrics:

un-decipherable

dear diary 015: me mumbling nonsense over pretty guitar loop i made in 2 mins

featuring Thorington

scrapped snippet of old demo

dear diary 016: time//anything (2017)

disconcerning

diffident 

lyrics:

to you am i a pretty face 

acne scars on my neck 

and i hate this place 

that i’m stuck here in

i can’t help but feel ill

and when the lights turn off 

it’s just me and you

i know i talk too much 

to tell you the truth 

that i feel i 

need to realise 

i need to spend time 

by myself by myself

dear diary 017: plastic

this shit so rough idk what to do with it 

made it months ago, made my head hurt

don't feel like this anymore and haven't touched it since lol

feels like such a dear diary

lyrics:

just take your shoes off 

cause you’re running through my mind

and i can’t help myself 

i think of you all the time 

and am i wasting my life 

chasing a girl 

who i’ll lose in time 

says she loves me now

hope she’s love me then

i ain’t felt this way 

since 2010 

barely remember back then 

used to see my dad and my mum back then

used to cry over shit i didn’t have back then 

like a group of fucking friends 

but i have you now 

and why would i wanna lose that

the reason i get out of bed 

when i hate everything except you 

yeah you light up my mood 

but just take off your shoes for me 

*undefinable screeching*

dear diary 018: nobody ever talks about twenty ten.

pitchy demo blah of a new song that's about quarantine and animal crossing lol

maybe the proper version will see light of day? who knows

tummy ache a hundred times a morning
and since yesterday i’ve felt so unimportant 
if time will tell then won’t it tell me now
this headache i’ve had since the weekend
won’t it decimate and fly away in pieces
so if time will tell then won’t it tell me now
can it tell me now


if i chase this ghost will it cheer me up 
if i get stung twice will i realise it’s true 
that i do 
will i scare it off and make it run away
will it come again or is time running too
like you



















does anybody ever read the bio anyway? especially this far down. 

new song this month I'm scared people won't like but I'm scared about that every time I release which is stupid, it's very pop-punky lol 


idk I've been doing pretty ok recently, just moved into a new house with tom, Maxwell and Charlie that I'm really enjoying, short walk into town and I get to make music and live with my friends. I haven't seen much of my mother recently which kinda gets me down a bit and I haven't seen anything of my dad but I think that's ok (more or less used to it) 

 been a shit year so far tho with the pandemic and then the ongoing injustice in America. I hope there'll be a day, sooner rather than later where I come back and read this and the idea of systemic racism and racism in all forms is extinct. I owe so much to black communities and would not know what to do myself if it wasn't for them. 

I wish I released more music under stupid rich kid and I apologise for not putting enough out, I make so much music all the time but I just constantly think "no not this one, try again" until I get a song I like, which I think Is a healthy unhealthy way to write - you guys that listen to this account here ideas that could've been, and might still be. 

anyway idk why I'm rambling in the bio of this song, I love making music and I love everyone who's streamed my music, whether this account or stupid rich kid, I don't really know why some people have stayed around to see what I'm doing next but I'm forever grateful that they have, like everyone says about their own stuff lol but the new stuff is rly good and I hope that everyone enjoys it 

thank you, lucian x

dear diary 019: time will tell (pitchy demo)

very self aware song i guess and hiding behind a character or whatever

first song written on my new guitar tho !! :)

I love this photo of seungjin and i not because its a cool picture just because I love seungjin so dearly and it was the most heartwarming moment when we met :(

oh danny put down the telephone 
you spoke just hours ago 
and you’re three smokes down since then 
but you ain’t a care in the world
just as long as you know 

your mother loves you more than you hear, she’s crying in the sink again 
and you’d say to me most days that things are fine, you’re just like this sometimes 

what if your father said what he meant
would you take him back or regret 

danny you’re a mess 
and i know that you think that too
put it to rest
you need to know right now

dear diary 020: Oh, Danny

@stupidrichkid

demo burner account
unfinished or throwaway ideas

soundshifter on the master sometimes
or i ran out of storage on main sc lol hi

dear diary

uhh ok