girls rituals - crystal eye

slimy oozing bubbling stuff erupting

touching all my clean white t shirts

dont ask me where ive been or ill have to lie

floating

in reference to my weekend

asleep behind the wheel 

havent eaten

feels good

try to keep it real

my body armor is so camoflaughed, bitch!

its got invisible rocket launchers right on it

holding on to way too much

watching my hair grow 

fucked up    

broken bones 

i notice those hurt the most when you wake up and remember how they happened



time for altered vision 

betrayed

i know you feel that way 

while im indifferent

betrayed 



who do i need to hurt?

to make shame a motivator that will work 

and after that sustain an outlook 

without constantly reminding me of how long it took

i know it wont be like before



i never believed that 

i know we both see that i need to do more 

i said i agree that 

this shit wont stop driving a wedge in the floor     



exceptions 

satisfaction is guaranteed

except when i dont land on my feet 

exceptions

i love them

just please love me  



and im a beast when 

my anger reaches my dome 

its just a circle

but it is all ive ever known

Bad Boy Cat Toy

Seventh track on Bad Happy.

A bit of an "anthem" for those of you who have a propensity to compromise yourself and overlook unfair mistreatment by your friends and other loved ones for the sake of keeping the relationships intact... I'm quite prone to this.

Even after years of being hurt by people I know who have cheated on me, belittled my accomplishments and talent, ditched me, ignored my calls and emails, forgot to do important things they said they would for, broken promises, violated my trust, and whatever else, for the sake of nothing but themselves, I've still generally stayed un-confrontational about betrayal, essentially making it okay to betray me.
I wanted to approach this topic in a constructive manner, as often I do, but not be too subtle about the message.

If you're in a position where you are compromising your own happiness to keep your life less dramatic and your friends groups without schism; relationships without quarrel: don't keep doing it. Try to find common ground.
If they remain obstinate, they aren't worth your time.

/Life lesson

Betrayal is okay.

Premiered 2024-02-17 @ Golden Conejobeat
Drums ripped from Cam'ron 'Oh Boy' prod. Just Blaze

Receiver leaking brand new colours
Closest ER out of range
We put our hearts into eachother
We lose ourSelves but still don't change
I wanna touch the nothingnesses
I only ever had too much
My body: numb with all its data
Send all my numbers going off 

He's got a head like a- Like a boy- Like a-
He's got a head just like a boy
Look like a boy to me
It'll be ok
It'll be ok
x2

What could you ever want from me?
What good is that?
What good is knowing about it? All you did is nothing about it

What good is that?
What could you ever want from me?
What good is that?
What good is knowing about it? All you did is nothing about it

Receiver

There are US tour dates coming in August and November which you can see more abt on my instagram as the story develops. Special thanks to nora who suggested adding some piano
https://www.instagram.com/dei_genetrix/


"It's perfectly alright to step outside the law, because the law itself is aberrated" 
-L. Ron Hubbard

Darkness, We live in some
Darling, please give me up
Sometimes, it seemed like hope
Promise, you didn't-
Don't
Assume there's something here for you
I thought it thru.
Every single chance we ever got we only fucked it up
I think its wrong to lead me on
Don't assume 
It's just us two
Me and you
We're having fun
But I cannot live with myself and 
I'm still so scared of touch

Really
Don't fuck with me nowhere
But then, it's just not what I need
Say that we're put here for something, that's something that I can't believe
Think that I'm living my life, I think I'm a mistake 
Thought that we're reaching for something did worse than just get in your way
It's not a test
We play for keeps
We make a mess  
Who'll clean up me?

Clean up me?

CHARLlE KlRK WAS A GUY THAT DROPPED OUT OF COLLEGE TO JOIN A GANG. THAT WAS HIS FIRST CHOICE OF WHAT HE WANTED TO DO, CAREER-WISE. NO CRAP HE GOT POPPED BY SOMEONE IN HIS OWN CLIQUE. USUALLY WE DON'T MOURN THIS TYPE OF GUY UNLESS WE'RE RELATED TO THEM. I THINK IT'S ACTUALLY SO SAD THAT THIS HAD TO HAPPEN... IN THE SAME 24 HOURS THAT THE US SENATE VOTED TO CONCEAL THE E-------N FILES...

I bent my head
I bend my spine forever
You hold my hand
I know I hold your hand too hard
Curl up in a circle
So broken-skin, so raw
There was a girl who was ugly forever and ever, amen
I swear it never gets easier
I swear it never gets better
I know if I admit to pain, we'll live the pain together
Too bad
So much gets said
But what gets it done?
What gets it done?

I know I look dumb
The type of dumb you would want
I want a lot to be blunt
It’s like you’re right all along

I wanted to be in love
I wanted to feel love but I'm just not like that
I wanted to be in love
I wanted to feel love but I’m just not like that

I 
I wanted something more than you could give
I
I
I wanted something more than you could give me

I hope you get to stay the way you are
I start to lose my posture
My spine sticks out the back of my neck
My hand, hitched up on angles
So broken-skin, still so raw to the touch
A finger in the wound is never enough for me
I swear it only gets easier
I swear it only gets better
I know if i admit to pain, we’ll live the pain together
If the road becomes the goal
We’ll ride it out to blackness
I try so hard
All fxcking day
All my efforts work backwards

My Neck

video https://youtu.be/6e3yWZ22-DY

Just stick with it
You can make it work
You could even try to live with it

Can’t tell what it was
I just fill the gap where something was

Am I scared?
Am I afraid?
Don't think we'll never know
Be bad idea to say
Strangers already know too much about me

And still
We rock out in the sun
Crowd is feeling what it was
When I could still feel as dumb as that

But if my personality
Could still make you feel like me
Maybe I can still cling to hopes
To one day become
Something that seems more like you again

Just stick with it
You can make it work
You could even t-
Stick with it

Just stick with it
You can make it work 
You could even

Reversal of Fortune

Girls Rituals

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