I've never laughed while listening to music I feel weird now

this shouldn't go hard but it does lmao I'm so fucking geeked

prod. metlast

i try to pretend this shit
is not fucking real
cuz theres no, way in hell
i could ever deal
with all the shit u say to me
and all things that ppl think
and i dont need to let u know
i dont need ur apathy 
i would rather die 
then take that shit anyway 

cuz everydays a living hell
but i still deny every ounce of help
that is offered to me 
cuz i dont...
feel like i dont deserve it
ppls affection....
makes me nervous... 
woah

just toss me out to sea...
it would probably be more efficent
cuz i have dreams of swimming with these fish
and all i do these days is reminisce

nervous [+metlast]

If this is our world could you please stay in it
She wanna fucking die she don’t think that I get it
We’re both outcasts but together we fit in
One day you’ll forget me I’m just counting the minutes

Give me one thing to believe in
I’ll give you a million
if you Love it give it freedom
You love me cuz ur leaving
You hurt me but you mean well
Spare me the details
love you like I need braille
You treat me like I’m junk mail

Face first on the muthafuckin pavement
You don’t wanna talk okay bitch say less
I fell for you but it don’t come painless
time goes by I start loving something faceless

do you really think you could love me forever?
do you really think that i'll ever get better?
i've been known to be the great upsetter
this is my world you're the star at the center

i know im crazy girl i can't help when i fuck up
i've been done dirty i'm still healing all my old cuts
thought that i changed but my brain always stay stuck
maybe i'd be better if i stepped in front a mac truck

i know that we could last 
don't leave me in the past
my life is moving slow
why my thoughts so fucking fast?

Give me one thing to believe in
I’ll give you a million
if you Love it give it freedom
You love me cuz ur leaving
You hurt me but you mean well
Spare me the details
love you like I need braille
You treat me like I’m junk mail

Face first on the muthafuckin pavement
You don’t wanna talk okay bitch say less
I fell for you but it don’t come painless
time goes by I start loving something faceless

face first w/doan (johnnyfriend)

thoughts & feelings

By @carlby
Featuring @kanashisadface
Produced by @sorrow_bringer
Engineering & additional vocals by @horoshavibes

LYRICS
I can do this on my own
I don't need your influence
Got me feeling so low
Damn you really put me through it
I'm off the meds now
But I'm on the mend now
Figuring myself out
I dont fuck with self doubt

I'm on my way up
Standing on my own feet
I don't need no crutch to lean on
I should've known better than to fold under pressure
Knowing full well that I can't rely on these drugs forever

But I just wanna feel better
I just wanna feel something other than this emptiness

(Kanashi)
I just wanna feel a little bit better
Take another hit
My eyes go a little bit redder
I'm so sick of all the lies they feed me
Emptiness is not a substitute for how I'm feeling

They shove these pills right down my throat
Will they ever work
Nobody fucking knows
And I swear they just want to control me
This little tiny bottle got me feeling like a zombie

Carlby - Crutch w/ Kanashi (Prod. sorrow bringer)

hows it feel..?
v v v
oh my god..
hows it feel to be pronounced as dead?
hows it feel to be shot in the head?
hows it feel to be ten grand in debt?
hows it feel to know your grandmas dead?

hows it feel to be pronounced as dead?
hows it feel to be shot in the head?
hows it feel to be ten grand in debt?
hows it feel to know ur grandmas dead?

hows it feel when ur six feet deep
no one to call but ur known in the streets
said ur not in love but boy i know ur lying
yeah u use to have ten grand, on grand, on grand
but now ur trying.
trying
trying
trying
trying...

(funny little da da da break)

oh my god..
hows it feel to be pronounced as dead?
hows it feel to be shot in the head?
hows it feel to be ten grand in debt?
hows it feel to know your grandmas dead?

hows it feel to be pronounced as dead?
hows it feel to be shot in the head?
hows it feel to be ten grand in debt?
hows it feel to know ur grandmas dead?

hows it feel when ur six feet deep
no one to call but ur known in the streets
said ur not in love but boy i know ur lying
yeah u use to have ten grand, on grand, on grand
but now ur trying.
trying
trying
trying
trying...

... <3

pronounced as dead (splashgvng x irby)

Once in awhile (prod. yungspoiler + michaelwarren)

Lyrics:
deadtomorrow:
standing on the ledge 
hopefully I don’t fall
10 stories high 
hopefully I don’t die 
oh please don’t cry
i just wanna fly
I’ve wanted this for life 
I’ve wanted this for life 
thoughts of suicide 
they’re runnin in my mind 
Runnin in my head 
sayin you should be dead 
really scared to die
I’m not gonna lie 
talk bout it all the time 
but I’m fuckin terrified 

let me go
i wanna go
don’t wanna stay
let go of
my fuckin waist
i wanna fly 
I wanna die 
think it’s my time 
think it’s my time 
no one can save
 a damn life
many have tried 
i already died 
on the inside 
loved you too much
wanted you in my life 

standing on the ledge 
hopefully I don’t fall
10 stories high 
hopefully I don’t die 
oh please don’t cry
i just wanna fly
I’ve wanted this for life 
I’ve wanted this for life 
thoughts of suicide 
they’re runnin in my mind 
Runnin in my head 
sayin you should be dead 
really scared to die
I’m not gonna lie 
talk bout it all the time 
but I’m fuckin terrified 

seejayxo: I don't wanna let you go but
I know I can stay
I been in my room since thursday
Riding through the city with the top down
i just really want to get some top now
i think she want me back cuz im a rockstar
and i just put her in that brand new chrome hart
heard he talkin shit well i dont know him
if you wanna see me try then ima show em

scared to die ft. seejayxo (thersx)

recorded & mixed by me
produced by back2thapast

So I'm like yeah yeah yeah oh oh oh
This the start of something new
Every time I'm in a room with you I get a bad mood
Oh pardon me sorry dude I don't really wanna talk no
I don't really wanna talk
I don't really wanna talk no
I don't really wanna talk

So can you tell me what you mean
Nothing here is meant for me I'm nothing like I'm supposed to be
I hope that its all a dream
But its always a nightmare lately I been so scared I don't know
So I pick up right back where I started
Lately I don't want no friends and to my friends I'm so cold hearted
I cant wait till all this ends
Tell my momma that I'm sorry
I ain't as strong as I thought I was but I'm still working hard for us
Yeah and I been fighting for so long
I just wish this shit was simple what the fuck am I doing wrong
For my whole life I thought it was destiny
Now I don't think its meant for me
I'm tearing by the seams and honestly I wanna rest in peace
I cry each time I'm on a beat
Toss and turning in my sleep
Wake up sweating on my sheets cause I keep running from the truth
I just wanna be with you but you don't wanna be with me
Ill say ill agree with you if you say you agree with me
Oh yeah
Yeah
Ill say ill agree with you if you say you agree with me
Oh yeah
Ill say ill agree with you if you say you agree with me

growing pains

spotify

growing pains [p. back2thapast]

Prod. Evan Parisi-Sanchez

@scummusic

@infamousgertrude

@demxntia

@gehrmvn

OKAY, CHECK!

prod. https://soundcloud.com/cigvicious
mix/master/add. piano: Anxiety Attacks!
feat. https://soundcloud.com/foreignforest
IG: www.instagram.com/ANXIETYxATTACKS/
Twitter: twitter.com/alecneversad

Lyrics:

AA!:
i never fit in at the club tho
i'm always buried in my iPhone
send a text to say I'm still alive
i tell you goodnight, see you when the sun rise
I never fit in at the club tho
i'm always buried in my iPhone
send a text to say I'm still alive
i tell you goodnight, see you when the sun rise

they say nothing in this life can last forever
but they don't know what it's like when we're together
staying out another night, I'm like "whatever"
i'd rather be at your place anyway
i don't wanna waste another friday night
now I'm staring at my phone to see if you reply
i pour another drink now I'm wasted
but still I'm sitting in the back, I gotta face it

i never fit in at the club tho
i'm always buried in my iPhone
send a text to say I'm still alive
i tell you goodnight, see you when the sun rise
I never fit in at the club tho
i'm always buried in my iPhone
send a text to say I'm still alive
i tell you goodnight, see you when the sun rise

FF:
Do the sun never rise if I don't go outside? guess I gotta try
But you've been texting me lies, I got tears in my eyes so I'd rather die
And I haven't left the crib in 2 weeks, 
I've been staying in tryna patch the holes in my jeans
From the cigarette burns that you left on me
Right before you left me all by my lonely
I hate going out, that shit it just bum me out
I'd rather lay up on my couch and eat some In n Out
I'd rather stay home roll up a dub, and hit you up
Than try to meet you at the club

i never fit in at the club tho
i'm always buried in my iPhone
send a text to say I'm still alive
i tell you goodnight, see you when the sun rise
I never fit in at the club tho
i'm always buried in my iPhone
send a text to say I'm still alive
i tell you goodnight, see you when the sun rise

OKAY, CHECK!

DYING IN THE CUT

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