In early January, with the sun shining through the window, I had a moment where my usual pessimism lifted. 
"For a moment, while the clouds blow by, the demons slink away."

Found Another Year

I originally confused this piece with another. Resulting in a change from the original title for which I contritely apologise. I took the piece down before being persuaded by my wife Helen to put it back.

Piano Concerto No.2 (4th movement) Op.32 - Adagio

A world of chaos, the work of man.

Special Times

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The Ballad of the Golden Calf / Double Dutch Mix
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another fictionalive /+/ szalap collab - Shout-out!
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/// the ballad of the golden calf
by fictionalive: re-imagined, written & performed narration
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music you hear = two tracks:
‘lab’ + ‘samples mastered’
written, produced & provided by szalep
courtesy of szalap @kacper-razdwarazdwa
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fictionalive + szalap aka mc fukoff
arrangement & mix
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fusion of it all –
fictionalive with the popoems series and the hyper media reports
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cover art: fictionalive, that’s it
fair use only
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dropped july 21st, 2025
01:01 pm – central european hot summer time / rainy, cool breeze today
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keep shining ✨
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The story of the golden "Kalb"—better known in English as the Golden Calf—is a famous episode from the book of Exodus in the Hebrew Bible. 
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Here’s what happened:
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After Moses led the Israelites out of Egypt and up to Mount Sinai, he went up the mountain to receive the Ten Commandments from God, staying there forty days and nights. 

His long absence caused anxiety among the Israelites at the camp below. Fearing Moses might never return, the people approached his brother Aaron and asked him to make them a new god to lead them.

Aaron told the people to gather all their golden jewelry, which he melted down and fashioned into a golden calf—a symbol likely borrowed from Egyptian religious imagery. 

Aaron then declared that this idol was the god that brought them out of Egypt, built an altar, and proclaimed a festival. 

The Israelites began worshipping the calf, offering sacrifices, feasting, drinking, and dancing around it.

Meanwhile, God informed Moses of the idolatry and threatened to destroy the people for their unfaithfulness. 

Moses pleaded for mercy on their behalf, and God relented from total destruction but promised consequences.

Moses returned to the camp, enraged at the sight of the idolatry. He smashed the stone tablets of the law, burned and ground the golden calf to powder, mixed it with water, and forced the Israelites to drink it. 

Moses then ordered the Levites to punish the ringleaders, resulting in the death of about three thousand people. 
God later sent a plague as further punishment.

The story’s moral is a warning about the dangers of idolatry and turning away from faith, especially at moments of uncertainty. 

It also underscores the necessity of strong leadership and devotion in maintaining spiritual discipline. 

The golden calf remains a potent symbol, often interpreted as a lesson about the perils of faithlessness, materialism, and communal disobedience.

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The Ballad of the Golden Calf / Double Dutch Mix

A Different Kind of Light

Tuning 440
Timing 4/4 (Changed to 2/4 bar 49 this is to cheat the DAW into not stretching midi vs wav then anything else - delay on the beat achieves the actual step up in tempo after the timing change)

Chords // Bm  / G / Em //


JJ Calls

Praying hands
Whatever cause
Once the greater good not lost
Bored children create their fun
We shelve French horn for this fine one
"Nice one lads" We read it all!
Vacation taken
To JJ calls
Neighbour to good Mickey Moore
Find Michigan piano pure

Down the road city of cars
To Howell front deck
Dad and Guitars
We jam that love then tell the world
Love and service human highway knurled
Good bi-product of happiness sought
With Croatian fun to cloud we court

Terrell Terminator in Jungle
Predator for good
Keys like Mr Bungle
Faith in more like we could
He Thanks you
It's lifestyle
Built from a porch
Good collective friend
Keep lighting that torch

Some moments sealed, marked and moulded
Pure intention
Dark blindfolded
Howl from human to Howell good soul
Keyed keystone as collective role

JJ calls
Darkness falls
Love lit up
Just for us
Love lit up
Just for us
Love lit up
Just for us
JJ calls

JJ Calls - Session 4

Roland Effektgeräte-Test6 (thinking about the world)

Dawn Wand

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Caught in the Non Act: excerpt upcoming "a Rock-or-Die Opera"
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music: beats and tune by szalap  @kacper-razdwarazdwa
// ...and additional samples
by fictionalive
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lyrics written and 
narration provided by fictionalive
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excerpt of:
The Stage On Which You Perform: a 'Rock-or-Die' Opera 
https://soundcloud.com/fictionalive/a-rock-or-die-opera


fusion of it all - fictionalive with the popoems series and the hyper media reports
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dropped
Thursday, August 8th, 2025
time - 10:39 AM Central European
Hot Summer Time Zone
today: chaos unfolds —
clouds weep showers of sorrow,
laughter born from disbelief

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// keep shining, crazy little diamond

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// *

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"Caught in the Non Act"

At first glance, the phrase seems paradoxical—a riddle whispered in smoke. To be “caught” suggests interruption, perhaps even exposure, yet what is unveiled is the “non act,” a moment defined not by what is done, but what is left undone, unwilled, unexpressed. Here, systems of intention and volition collapse; the actor is held—and holding—precisely at the threshold of action.

I. The Paradox of Presence and Absence

To be “caught in the non act” is to be present at the site of absence. This title evokes the liminal: a threshold where anticipation, hesitation, or silent refusal takes the stage. It aligns with Zen thought—the uncarved block, the sound of one hand clapping—gestures toward meaning that reside in emptiness, stillness, and restraint.

II. Agency in Inaction

Is inaction itself a form of agency? Existentialist thinkers such as Sartre argued that even not-choosing is a choice. To be caught in the non act is to dwell in the suspended animation of potential—the lived tension before choice crystallizes into commitment. Here, the subject is not powerless but powerful in withholding, sabotaging the momentum of events through refusal or hesitation. The non act radiates with possibility, every moment of not-acting echoing futurities never realized.

III. Surveillance and Self-Reflection

“Caught”—by whom? By others, or by the self? If the non act is witnessed, it takes on the texture of surveillance: the fear or thrill of being seen not doing. It is the existential snapshot of one’s truth in the gap, the moment between mask and face, a zone often more revealing than any overt gesture. Inwards, it becomes conscience—self-apprehension at the point of procrastination, moral paralysis, or pure contemplation.

IV. Contemporary Resonance

In an era pressed by productivity and ceaseless motion, “Caught in the Non Act” resists the cult of doing. It honors withdrawal, indecision, the strategic pause, and the mysterious freedom in simply not complying, not reacting, not perpetually performing. To be caught in the non act is perhaps to find, at last, a clearing in the relentless forest of demands—a sacred ambiguity where the self can listen more closely for the next true move.

V. Aesthetic Echoes

The phrase dances with ambiguity and negative space. Like a photograph of a ghost, it suggests presences that can only be glimpsed obliquely—what remains hauntingly unfinished, the beauty in longing rather than attainment. It is the space between musical notes, the silence that frames the utterance, the spell before awakening.

Final Reflection

"Caught in the Non Act" thus stands as a quietly rebellious banner—an enigma that encourages us to ponder the riches of stillness, hesitation, potential, and refusal. It asks us: what, in this stopped moment, have you discovered about movement, intention, and meaning itself? Sometimes—the non act is the truest revolution.

Caught in the Non Act: excerpt upcoming "a Rock-or-Die Opera"

Hall Of Mystery

I am a singer-songwriter, composer and producer based in Oxfordshire, UK. 

I am just finishing off the final tracks from the upcoming album 'The Supersonic Dataset' due for release in October. In the meantime I will be uploading the tracks here as I finish them :).

A Different Kind of Light

The Dopamine Project