Bear in mind that this is fictional as well as firmly autobiographical all at the same time.  Because that's the way with human experience - we make up a story that we tell ourselves until we believe it.

There was some inadvertent manipulation by the educational system which was real, but I was also guilty as hell of being stubborn about individuality and also a pretty hardcore video game addict right back to the Atari 2600 and this extended into online addiction in the 90's before they had a name for it even.

So people that I may have felt were less than helpful, also rolled out the red carpet for me more than once -- just on terms I refused to swallow.

So mainly this is an anti-bureaucratic piece.  The footsoldiers in the faculties doing the teaching, and my fellow classmates both have my sincere sympathies.  A distinction has to be drawn between making music just to get the ick out of my system and what I truly think upon more sober reflection.

Also: well aware this kind of whines like "Allentown" re: 'vote with your feet dummy'

my main website:
http://exedexes1.com

itch.io page:
http://exedexes1.itch.io

Lyrics:

When the H.R. folks say that i irrationally resent
But then the merit raise was two percent
Then let's review the course of the gradual descent
That got all of us where we are now

At the start they said well then, we'll skip you one grade
But hem you in by constraints that we already made
You'd be better adjusted if you only had stayed
Where conformity's all we allow


As I traversed past grade school to the stuff above
The real shock came when, push came to shove
There came things I didn't particularly love
Like rejection from the occasional cow

I escaped from that scene seeking resolution
But the worst place to do it was an institution 
Playing redistributive games
I pushed my way through it
Though my hope was diminished
If no other result, well I proved I could finish
But they were bitter returns all the same

Getting out in the world from the ivory tower
I found that things out there were not much less sour
The retail grind at five eighty five an hour
Doesn't cause you to climb to much fame

I needed the time, to heal, to mend
But the length that it took seemed to really depend
On chewing through this or that online crutch
And that seemed to drag on for far too much

Advancement comes slow when your job doesn't match
The inclinations which are your true path
When suppression has become the order of the day
A lot of time gets burned away

And then came a shift in the mood of the nation
Making it tougher to alter your station
Where even if striven with all your might
They'd just have said, can't promote the budget's too tight
If you were lucky they'd come at you with euphemisms
If not they'd tell you the stark reality 
That you just don't fit intersectionality

I only seemed lazy because in this domain
The only way to stay remotely sane
Was to ignore that they ignored me
While dreaming of where I really should be
Pointing out that my worth's in arrears
Perennially falls on deaf ears

If they get an abrupt shock one morning
Well, they've only had forty-five years of warning
Playing games with people's lives 
Is bound to end in a nasty surprise


I only seemed lazy because I missed the basic rule
Not to wait for someone else's say 
And so I no longer play the fool
As I breach the walls of the cage
And take control of my own way

And so folks then herein lies the rub
Just like don't wait for a corpo to cook your grub
Don't wait for prefab lesson plans
Take destiny back into your hands

301 : I Only Seemed Lazy Because released June 11, 2024

Feature.fm link to this track:
https://ffm.to/only-lazy-because

SoundCloud for this track:
https://soundcloud.com/doug-stoothoff/i-only-seemed-lazy-because

Spotify for this track:
https://open.spotify.com/track/7mEe56bLN8QKY2W4mqz9Ah

Douglas P Stoothoff main site:
https://exedexes1.com/

Artist page on Spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/artist/7EuvIQRQESX9WFtwI6GqWB

NovemDeka

I Only Seemed Lazy Because

Buy on Bandcamp

Music for everyone, music for others. A life against the current. No genre in music! It is too simplistic to give a genre to everything!! Music is an expression of human emotions and it is necessary to learn to understand humanity in its complexity.

A self-taught composer, who has found his voice in older and traditional forms and styles of music.
Currently mostly composing for piano, but I have grand ambitions for writing chamber music and symphonies.
My music has a lot of variety in a way that expresses all kinds of sentiments, both intrapersonal and extrapersonal, kept in a cohesion by an underlying narrative; every composition is its own journey or a adventure, and I invite any guests who stumble upon my page to take part in it. 
All my music so far is written in Sibelius 7 (recordings of live performace coming down the line)
My music is available for purchase on Bandcamp: https://dinoljubi.bandcamp.com/music
Sometimes I might write an essay or two:
https://renewalcollective.substack.com/p/beethoven-through-suffering-towards
For inquiries: dinoljub89@gmail.com
Also a father to an awesome little boy.

A therapeutic journey into a mix of jazz, classical, and a blend of types of electronica.  And a wry, gradual observation that promotion tends to only go as far as you push it.  At least I make my fellow musicians laugh a little.

Lara is the founder, songwriter, composer, and producer of the Turkey-based band L4R4X. Throughout her music career, Lara has crafted a universe steeped in dark and mystical tones, guiding listeners on a journey through the depths of shadows. Together with L4R4X, she has created songs that touch the deepest corners of the soul with melancholic melodies and enigmatic lyrics.

Meditation and Spiritual Growth Guide

My spiritual name is Om Kleem Hum Gum Namo and I share teachings from Divine as songs to help people to start and proceed in their spiritual material path.

⬇️ ALBUM OUT ON PLATFORMS ⬇️

Good Day  🌈
sharing only unfinished and unpampered homemade-songs ✌🏻
inspired by Sting, Bowie, Odezenne ..

A new sound is on the horizon. I start recording it in 2026. Watch this space.
 
STEALTH.

 Thank you everyone for your support over the years! 

Shine on!

Gary Von Pink

https://www.youtube.com/@pinkart/videos (My art cnannel on YouTube)

https://www.instagram.com/houses_of_pink/

I Only Seemed Lazy Because

Doug Stoothoff