this is probably my favorite song I've ever made, and it means a lot to me.

if you've made it here, please like & repost as it helps other people who might relate to my music find it

ty to all who listen <3
prod. michael harrison

**lyrics**
I miss when
We would talk
And we'd sit on that curb till it
Got too dark
For us
My hand in yours, I still feel numb
Why'd you say those words to me?
When everything was better off unsaid

I cant take this breath
If it means i could still be alive

I dont really wanna die I just want a warm embrace
Looking at ya' from the sky but i cant see your face
Babe It's just another ride, you know Ima be okay
But man i hope they hear my cry when i finally break
(x2)

If I turned around, would you call your friend?
I hate who I was but I'm better again
I cant stand the silence, you're my medicine
It's starting to rain, would you just take my hand
(x2)

I miss when
We would talk
And we'd sit on that curb till it
Got too dark
For us
My hand in yours, I still feel numb
Why'd you say those words to me?
When everything was better off unsaid

I cant take this breath
If it means i could still be alive

limerence (michael harrison)

something real.

im nothing but a feather weight 
i feel my bones and i feel them ache 
i feed my sink my dinner plate
dont think i could get more lame 
another day ill sleep away
where to go to feel the same 
grey eyes an ugly face
grey eyes an ugly face


now i walk home on my own 
the sewage just seeps out my phone 
my eyes have gone blind to the hope
i feel safe when im home 
and i can make garbage and call it scrap 
stare at the screen waiting for a text back
light on my feet, thinking that i could float 
how can i take more man ive taken the most 
double the dose 
double the time that i cope
been going ghost 
days of no phone 
housekeep not leaving my home 
ill be right here if u need 
god im so lame, i should leave 
stutter my words 
eating the air 
making it worse 
cant go anywhere 
missing her hands tru my hair
missing her hands tru my hair
grey eyes said she hated color 
leave here and shes go to a another 
oranges skies just remind me of summer 
oranges skies just remind me of summer 

now i walk home on my own 
the sewage just seeps out my phone 
my eyes have gone blind to the hope

sewage two (nciku)

broken home. w/ greenwood (king theta)

body going missing

prod: https://soundcloud.com/block-tane https://soundcloud.com/nate2timezz
 
i can hear my own heartbeat
pound in this quiet
hands bound back
with this rope
he'll tie me up
(i can hear my own heartbeat pounding
i can hear my own heartbeat pounding)
i can feel the cold concrete
laying down, crying
itching through scabs
to be whole is all i want
(i can hear my own heartbeat pounding
i can hear my own heartbeat pounding)
open me up
god willing i'll make it
your shirt soaking with blood
oh, my body keep shaking
place my flesh upon a sigil
brand with my initials
this night will make me whole again
the embers start to whistle
nothing left, no one to hold me
bloody ceremony
i will lose control again,
the heavens will disown me

please, please
it's all that i have
(like magician, body going)

like magician,
body going missing
bloodied up my palms
baby i feel like a christian
just how i envisioned
prep for the incision
pierce right through my heart
until my fingers finish twitching
oh yeah,
i think i like it, i don't wanna pretend
i'm fucking begging for it
cut me again
and again, and again, and again
and again

(let us pray, let us wish
to partake in communion,
let us partake in communion,
and feast upon the old blood)

where i'm going
i won't make it back
hope he's waiting for me
vision going black
nothing i have left will make it past
open me up
god willing i'll make it
your shirt soaking with blood
oh my body keeps shaking
keeps shaking


paleblood

daydream

produced by @prod-dash 🖤
mv: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EEgzoEH60Cg

harmonies construct of her in vain,
when i had felt the same, i wonder what you let slip loose
idolized in holistic refrain from scaring you away,
but it was you who had left so soon
redundancy falls on the floors of insult,
diffusion of awe is now subtle appall
when the fracturing stops, he returns to his lot
and continues to watch the forgotten responses

how long has it really been?
on everything i could've been your confidence;
wounded deep, but regardless you were gorgeous
external forces couldn't conquer this fortress,
girl i was all in,
now i'm more of like a martian,
a foreign entity ignored and made of sport in pure extortion
the score depends on those who force it,
but on my life i'll never pry into this systematic fortune

easy aches at your name
november stays, but it's may

he's licking tears and steeling bones
from baring sights of burning homes
and of the counterparts still present, most have nearly decomposed
the oxygen persists, but the fluids marching in
wreak havoc on the aspens, now his blood is wearing thin
the centuries forgot receive his aching and distraught,
converting portions of distortion into frequencies bewrought
the ice goes in by division of his temperance
sickly to this weather, but she ain't even my medicine

it's two-forty-two as the film rolls into view
i beg your pardon, i'm enshrouded by the memories construed
just anyone won't do,
the comfort causes calluses he's unable to move
they stare at him in twos

the burial becomes attraction, and of the visitors, it's nothing but distraction
come one and all, before root is sawed, the chainsaw, it stops,
he of wooden rot, with that pandora's box, reverse the plot
the acid sat within his stomach summits to his top
begone of influence it's over 'fore it had begun
i'll never feel that same alikeness, they just read me wrong,
just to do me wrong

bare trees conceive cold leaves,
you showed me what we couldn't be
washing over me, frostridden stings
that sole breeze had spoke "don't leave"

easy aches at your name
november stays, but it's may

the paneling glows a familiar sequence,
but it's passage won't open to those who would seek it
through timing and tamper he had managed to enter
unaware of it's contents, he treads a bit deeper
in awe of the contrast from seeker to aether
he's welcomed to stay, but he's covered in shivers
for those it abducts are reduced down to neither
so backwards he goes, where his soul doesn't meet her's

come the night i'm allotted what's divine
i got bugs up in my head,
they always scratching, leaving bites
ain't no energy to waste on those unkind
only time you talkin shit is when you're doing it online

november (dash)

Featuring @sewerperson
Produced by @noahmadethiss & @horoshavibes
Mixing, additional vocals & guitars by @horoshavibes
Mastered by @anxietyxattacks
Art by @melmige

LYRICS
(sewerperson)
All alone on this Summer night
Look for me in these velvet skies
Pray for me while I walk this fire
Anything just to see you smile
November came and our Summer had died
Leaving us with nowhere to hide
When everyone dropped dead like flies
I had no choice but to make you mine

When we fade away where do the feelings get dropped
'Cause I got boxes of these things like home videos
I'm away like half the year
She doesn't miss me though
All while I'm thinking about her touch
It makes me miserable

(Carlby)
Somehow I'll find a way to reach you
Drag you through the screen
This time I'll tell you everything
How much you really mean to me
And all I am today
Because the bleakest weather is better in your company
Although you're long gone now
I hold tight to your memories
Like home videos
Just know I'll never forget these

I still stare at old photos
Wonder where does the time go
How can I get it back

(Horosha & Carlby)
The past is dead and yet I still I feel it
A shadow sliding over concealing
Anything in the present that would bring me joy
And still I miss the pain

I knew our time was short
But your summer eyes
They captured me by force
A willing prisoner
Even with a painful ending you made every moment shine like gold

Listen on Spotify!

Home Videos w/ sewerperson (Prod. noah thomas)

"one day we gon be okay baby just stay"
i can hear just how you told me like its yesterday
ill be sure to send my love from the cosmos
i guess lately its just been harder hitting high notes
i guess lately its just been easier to let my mind go
i guess lately im feeling bad bout dragging you along

cuz i dont want to see you at the bottom
and baby you can tell me if its too much
i know i can be a lot so you just say som
and i dont like myself if we need something to agree on
im up making songs fell asleep with my jeans on
i can tell you love me from the way you take my jeans off
id love if youd stick with me ill look better when i wean off
the same songs just in different styles
you wonder when i been this happy girl its been a while

but i cant make you smile
havent seen those pearly whites girl whats got you down
we can live another life if we leave this town
one day i can make it right one day youll be proud
in the passenger seat found my reason in the stars
i got holes in my jeans you got anger in your heart
its not as easy as it seems so i try to play my part
control alt then you deleted me im back here at the start
i got bad lungs one more cigarette
another sad song posted on the internet
i guess its not fun tell myself im not upset
when the days done find a place to lay my head
from the day we met swore to be my best
we both know the fire started when you call my friends
now im only feeling sorry for the shit i said
one day imma be a star im just not shining yet

and baby you can tell me if its too much
i know i can be a lot so you just say som
and i dont like myself if we need something to agree on
im up making songs fell asleep with my jeans on
i can tell you love me from the way you take my jeans off
id love if youd stick with me ill look better when i wean off
the same songs just in different styles
you wonder when i been this happy girl its been a while

denim w/ halfhearted (p. under the maple tree)

hi, i'm mesmerized at the sight of you flyin'
i watch from my cot, but never thought of tryin'
just what is there for me to confide in?..

daydream

dyingforcertain