All 🥹 The 😼 Times 🥰We 😁 Had ☹️

i know all your friends and they're abusing me...

@88strait thanks for carrying me lol, ilysm dawg <3

shoutout @branwenmusic for da youtube beat hehe

lyrics:
i’m all alone now
i’m on my own now
i’m left to suffer
inside my hometown

my friends are gone i regret it
i feel so lost and dependent
i don’t know what path i’m headed
(i don’t know what path i’m headed)

i know it is never how it used to be
i know all your friends and they’re abusing me
i don’t know how to find the rest of me
i fall to the ground so desperately 

it’s best if i feel the fall
i don’t really wanna fuckin feel at all
i was doing better then i hear you call
when i hear you call…

i’ll fall apart when it’s all okay 
don’t fucking tell me you know my pain 
i’ll fucking try but it’s always the same 
300 thoughts running right through my brain 

i’m fucking drowning everyday like don’t you get it man? 
i can’t even swim, i need a hug, i need a helping hand 
i fucking hate how i look, how i feel now 
all of the drugs and the pills i abuse now 

oh no oh no 
i don’t wanna feel now 
bleed out my heart 
body on the floor now 
find a way into my head 
i’ll fade away until i’m dead

oh no oh no 
i don’t wanna feel now 
bleed out my heart 
body on the floor now 
find a way into my head 
i’ll fade away until i’m dead

i know it is never how it used to be
i know all your friends and they’re abusing me
i don’t know how to find the rest of me
i fall to the ground so desperately 

it’s best if i feel the fall
i don’t really wanna fuckin feel at all
i was doing better then i hear you call
when i hear you call…

all plats

used to be w/ 88strait [prod. branwen]

you're all i ever loved....

hope u guys enjoy the song, this one is rly meaningful to me

HUGE thanks to @itschrismarek for going crazy on the beat as always <3

lyrics:

guess you’re right i need help cuz i’m not alright 
playing with the cards that she dealt hurting down inside
i been getting sick of it, i don’t even wanna try

i’m numb
i been so damn numb
from the day you said “we’re done”
you’re all i ever loved
you’re all i ever loved

when i thought i hit my best, we’re breaking up
every time i try to go to rest, i’m thinking of
all the times we had
thinking of all the times we had

i know i know 
i’ll be sitting on a silo, silo
i’ll be doing this on my own, my own
don’t wanna hear you fucking call

(i’m numb)
(i been so damn numb)
(from the day you said “we’re done”)
(you’re all i ever loved)
(you’re all i ever loved)

guess you’re right i need help cuz i’m not alright 
playing with the cards that she dealt hurting down inside
i been getting sick of it, i don’t even wanna try

i’m numb
i been so damn numb
from the day you said “we’re done”
you’re all i ever loved
you’re all i ever loved

i’m numb
i been so damn numb
from the day you said “we’re done”
you’re all i ever loved
you’re all i ever loved

(i know i know)
(i’ll be sitting on a silo, silo)
(i’ll be doing this on my own, my own)
(don’t wanna hear you fucking call)

if ur still reading this ily :)

sick of it [prod. chrismarek]

BURNING IN THE DANGERS OF THE LIFE I WANTTTTT

hope u guys like this one, put a lot of emotion into it

HUGE shoutout to @b_murph for the fucking amazing feature ily dawggg

lyrics:

(oh, ohhhh)

i been tryna right my wrongs
turning to an angel in the sky i fall
burning in the dangers of the life i want 
never been a stranger to the life in the dark

i want another chance
i want a motherland
i fall in love again 
(i fall, i- i- i fall)

one step too close to the edge
now im falling back down, yeah
im falling in love again
but you're not from the motherland
im in love with a motherfucking demon

i hide the cuts on my wrist, promise im just tryna feel sum (something)
she said that she loves me but she said she never feels nun (nothing)
i hide all my pain with tequila and some white rum
the closer that we get the more i just wanna run

so tell me your intentions before i give me all to you
cause i dont wanna lose you, like i always fucking do

i been tryna right my wrongs
turning to an angel in the sky i fall
burning in the dangers of the life i want 
never been a stranger to the life in the dark

i want another chance
i want a motherland
i fall in love again 
(i fall, i- i- i fall)

angel w/ bmurph [prod. branwen]

:(

thank u @itschrismarek for the amazing beat ily dawg 

hope u guys like this btw, tried summ different 

lyrics:

cut my wrists and burn me down
you’re all i think about
you’re all i think about
you’re an angel from the clouds

ohhh
i don’t wanna fall
all the time i lost
tryna find my love

i gave you all the fucking world
i guess you’ll never feel the same 
i’m done with all these fucking girls
i never wanna feel this way
i gave you all the fucking world
i guess you’ll never feel the same 
i’m done with all these fucking girls
i never wanna feel this way

(i gave you all the fucking world)

did you miss me?
cuz you left me with these scars like i was sixteen
fucking crying in the car and sippin whiskey
i remember all the times you would kiss me
that you would kiss me

ohhh
i don’t wanna fall
all the time i lost
tryna find my love

i gave you all the fucking world
i guess you’ll never feel the same 
i’m done with all these fucking girls
i never wanna feel this way
i gave you all the fucking world
i guess you’ll never feel the same 
i’m done with all these fucking girls
i never wanna feel this way

i gave you all the fucking world
i guess you’ll never feel the same 
i’m done with all these fucking girls
i never wanna feel this way
i gave you all the fucking world
i guess you’ll never feel the same 
i’m done with all these fucking girls
i never wanna feel this way

feel the same [prod. chrismarek]

abditory

happy birthday to me :)

out of everything i dropped this year this song was defs my favorite so enjoy the slow, sad version. thank u to everyone who made 17 the best year i ever had <33

thank u @itschrismarek for producing this, we the best duo in the state fr hehe 

alsooo i plan on venturing far from my roots this year. expect some rly sad, alternative sounds.

woebegone </3

feel the same [og]

produced by nextime

lyrics

u dont let me talk abt it
u steal off my colour palette
im still havin dreams abt it
re routed my brain so i dont see ur palette

huh
im over u
ive got nothing left tht i owe to u

its over me its over u
dont bend our truth 2 favour u

saw u in colour i aint seen b4
3 tabs in this is too much more
dont ignore my open door
my muscles seize my eyes r sore

plug load me up b4 im out the door
im remaining calm cant last 4 long
all i see is white when i sleep
ya dmts ruined me
who wants 2 dream when their psyched up
talk big
dont let em know the real u
everyone use who they know
only friends w you when they know ur worth
hey man thats not even bad ive meetin worse

palette p. nextime

IM DROWNING IN MY PAIN AGAIN AND HIDING WITH THE DRUGSSSSSS

@zupehr i am literally SO FUCKING GLAD we tapped in again. i missed workin with u so much dawg, everything we make is super deep and our vibe is just gjdhjgdjhkg so good ily brobro

i went to war with myself mixing this so ur welcome for posting this btw lol

lyrics:

i don’t know what’s wrong with me like right now 
i keep on loving and loving right out
i keep on falling and falling back down
i keep on falling and falling back down

fuck love
i’ll never be enough
i’m drowning in my pain again and hiding with the drugs 
i’m like, “the fuck’s up?”
you never told me wrong
i blame myself for everything and hide it in a song

i don’t know what’s wrong with me like right now 
i keep on loving and loving right out
i keep on falling and falling back down
i keep on falling and falling back down

i been fighting
but the razor blade is looking so inviting
all the memories we made are coinciding 
in my brain again my skin is just dividing

fuckin it up and i just blame it on the timing 
nobody loves a man without a silver lining
down to my gut i feel that i won’t be surviving 
covered in cuts i been a mess that i been hiding 

i don’t know what’s wrong with me like right now 
i keep on loving and loving right out
i keep on falling and falling back down
i keep on falling and falling back down

fuck love
i’ll never be enough
i’m drowning in my pain again and hiding with the drugs 
i’m like, “the fuck’s up?”
you never told me wrong
i blame myself for everything and hide it in a song

i don’t know what’s wrong with me like right now 
i keep on loving and loving right out
i keep on falling and falling back down
i keep on falling and falling back down

hiding [prod. zupehr x sadpra]

experimental. 

huge shoutout to @kryst3n, my best friend in the scene for doin this feat. so glad we made a song finally ily twin <3333

lyrics:

one fight then we break up
then you’re coming back and you’re always tryna make up
do it all again, do it all again,
tell me you’re in love then you say we’re better friends

saying i was the other fuckin half of you
i don’t know why i was always running back to you
been alone i’m in my bed now 
fuckin hope you understand that
saying i was the other fuckin half of you
i don’t know why i was always running back to you
imma go and i won’t even say goodbye
i’ll dieeee

(SUICIDES MY ONLY HOPE)

im falling u dont even give a damn
you would rather focus on everything that i did wrong
your legs move running fast as you can
you were called out on all the bullshit that you said

I was the other fucking half of u
threw out good times im so fucking mad with u
now its bad habits we fell back into 
i hope all ur new friends turn and laugh at u i swear

saying i was the other fuckin half of you
i don’t know why i was always running back to you
been alone i’m in my bed now 
fuckin hope you understand that
saying i was the other fuckin half of you
i don’t know why i was always running back to you
imma go and i won’t even say goodbye
i’ll dieeee

back2u w/ kryst3n [prod. dercept x 80root]

𝔀𝓱𝔂 𝓱𝓪𝓼 𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓻𝔂𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓰𝓸𝓷𝓮 𝓫𝓻𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽

prod. @jeweler737

easily my favorite song i ever made- hope u guys enjoy, despite how different it is

 - lyrics -

it’s late at night
can barely sleep
i lost it all
i’m stuck in my dreams
tears are falling like sticks from trees
oh i know that i’m in too deep
i was young
just seventeen
exploring my mind just like the seven seas
took my soul it took the breath from me
i’m on my own there’s nothing left for me
nothing left for me

at times i question my own health
maybe i’m not fine or i’m just overwhelmed
at night is when my thoughts compel
shooting me back down the old wishing well

why has everything gone bright
always lived in fear; must die
i don’t think i’m real; don’t know what to feel
played my cards with the devil
i made a deal

my health is depleting
and i’m barely breathing
i let all my friends down
i’m sorry; can’t see it
my health is depleting
and i’m barely breathing
i let all my friends down
i’m sorry; can’t see it

it’s late at night
can barely sleep
i lost it all
i’m stuck in my dreams
tears are falling like sticks from trees
oh i know that i’m in too deep
i was young
just seventeen
exploring my mind just like the seven seas
took my soul it took the breath from me
i’m on my own there’s nothing left for me
nothing left for me

woebegone [prod. jewelryboy]

feel my world just decay as i'm growing up . . .

huge shoutout to @byekento for carrying tf outta this song, u one of my best friends bro ilysm <33

>lyrics<
i been through too much
tryna do too much
feel my world just decay as im growing up
sprials swirling away; brain is blowing up
tryna hurl all my pain; i been throwing up

i just been too fucked up to remember
the times i gave soul back up for the devil
i take a couple puffs; im not more than a vessel
im thinkin way too much; i'll just go fuckin mental

i just wanna be me again
chemicals that im breathing in
blowing problems out through the smoke
just an inhale and exhale
im nothing more than a joke
stab my heart; that shits impaled
my words stuck in my throat
trying so hard to get them 
i just wanna be me again
chemicals that im breathing in
blowing problems out through the smoke
just an inhale and exhale
im nothing more than a joke
stab my heart; that shits impaled
my words stuck in my throat
trying so hard to get them

and i been tryna find my way back
if you really love me 
why the fuck ain’t you just say that 
i know im still caught up in my head 
i can’t escape yet chase a paycheck 
still alive but im looking for my fucking grave damn 

and i know that its still gon be the fucking same 
i know i won’t ever change
i know i’m the bad guy 
so i stay inside my lane
fuck no i ain’t reaching out
but i still wish they heard me now 
i know that i let ‘em down

its all my fault so i stay alone 
never had a place to go 
never had a place like home
always somewhere dosing off
i could never let it show
nothing but a sacrifice 
know its all inside my mind 
all this time to figure me out

i just wanna be me again
chemicals that im breathing in
blowing problems out through the smoke
just an inhale and exhale
im nothing more than a joke
stab my heart; that shits impaled
my words stuck in my throat
trying so hard to get them 
i just wanna be me again
chemicals that im breathing in
blowing problems out through the smoke
just an inhale and exhale
im nothing more than a joke
stab my heart; that shits impaled
my words stuck in my throat
trying so hard to get them

sick of it [prod. chrismarek]

dylan lotus

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