I produced this track when I was 17. I was in a creative renaissance having discovered electronica in Europe a couple of years' prior and poured out song after song. I wanted to release this track as my debut single because of what it represents: an era of my life and my musical development where I was finally starting to create what I wanted to create after years of playing acoustic instruments. But I was held back by self doubt and overwhelmed by mixing; I could never get it to sound release-ready. To finally put this out into the world is symbolic for me, because now I can let go of that time and move forward from here.
It's called Siberia simply because as I started to write, I envisioned a brutal but beautiful sparkling icy landscape. But underneath that, this song is really an expression of my emotions in their abstract form. I hope it pulls you along.

Siberia

I wrote this on my Tandy 1000 TL Deskmate Computer in 1988.  It featured a 3-voice DAC  (Digital Audio Chip) and a program called MUSIC.PDM that I wrote a LOT of music on.

I uploaded them to PC-Link, the precursor to AOL and long before there was www-anything!

Well, then the Tandy brand died, the digital music unplayable anywhere by anything.

Luckily it was saved by a guy called simply tvdog

and just recently, someone wrote a converter to go from Deskmate .SNG to TXT to MIDI.  Then from MIDI to MP3 and it lives again.  26 years trapped in digital prison.  It lives.  Kenneth Udut, age 16, now age 42, gets ot hear his computer music yet again.

Creepy - Tandy Deskmate 1988 digital horror music lives again after 26 years.

Forgotten Path (Trevor Gavilan Rework)

[Updates in brackets]

I started this track in July of 2016. I put the vocals together in March of 2017, feeling compelled to comment about the way my country's government was trying to rewind all progress [and my country has just chosen that again, hence revisiting this post]. I'm beyond disgusted at the trajectory of things. I could spit blood [again].

Luckily, the progressive people, who are normally asleep during democrat administrations, are also pretty disgusted and are doing whatever they can to resist this acceleration of dystopia... [though today's edit needs to mention the fact that there's a divide & conquer assault against the American left, with professional "Centrist™" types helping boost pre-existing infighting, so that the tiny minority of actually-progressive left-leaning people get attacked from all sides: from within their center-right/neoliberal party (wrongly stated to be "left" or "liberal") and from without. Lots of it is probably organic "sincere" human conflict, but some of it is definitely coming from formal propaganda efforts, and it's really hard to distinguish between them to have any guess as to whether or not to bother trying to engage people in conversation online.]

[I originally started the lyric writing when someone said "at least we still have each other" somewhere online, maybe on Facebook or pre-Musk Twitter. That comment triggered me because many people are deeply isolated and only "have each other" online. Since I seem better at verbose prose than poetry, I started with spoken word; I should probably try that more often. The rest came together somehow, I guess. I suck at writing lyrics and vocals, but occasionally it happens.]

Lyrics:

[spoken word]
It seems now, more than ever before, we know that "each other" is a nation of credulous thinkers, racists, sexists, homophobes, dominionists, the ignorant, the callous, the hateful, and so many more terrible attributes.

[verse]
Is it true,
what they say to you?
Is it true,
the things they want you to do?

Do you know
what is right or wrong?
Can you feel
your chance is fading away?

Could it be 
all or nothing or,
could there be
something in-between?

Should we hope
something better comes, or
should we try
taking action now?

[Chorus]
Is this the way they want it?
Delete all steps of progress
Erase all truth and justice
Rewind to yesterday

[spoken word background]
Do you forget why we moved ahead?
Do you forget why you changed these things?
Do you even understand the concept of cause & effect?

[Spoken word]
When you're privileged to live among others who think like you, it's easy to say "we still have each other". Those of us embedded in communities surrounded by our ideological opponents feel alone, defeated, and just basically fucked.

[verse]
Feel the end
coming quicker now
Have you done
all you wanted to?

You refused
what was asked of you
You declined
responsibility

Is there more
that you could have done?
Would you try,
given second chance?

Is regret 
all that's left for us? Do
we deserve
everything that's come?

[Chorus]
Is this the way they want it?
Delete all steps of progress
Erase all truth and justice
Rewind to yesterday

demo

We, Each Other (7-18-2016 to 3-20-2017) [Updated text]

Download 'Storyseeker' by Miles Äijälä here: https://qwertyprophecy.itch.io/storyseeker

Storyseeker OST - Main Theme

Download 'Storyseeker' by Miles Äijälä here: qwertyprophecy.itch.io/storyseeker

Storyseeker OST - Temples

Storyseeker OST - Glacier

Smoke Signals

04 - Two Suns (Neonknight Remix)

Lost Files

Forgotten Path

Electronic musician, but you wont find dance music or insect noises here. These tracks come from different eras and modes in my music composition history, but they all came from me in one form or another.

The tracks with Red Light Ballroom are auditions i did with a band (they were looking for a lyricist/vocalist). i did the words and vocals, but the rest is the band.

Full details here: http://dysamoria.com/music/

We, Each Other (7-18-2016 to 3-20-2017) [Updated text]

dysamoria

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