Im Losing It w/Matego (prod. moon)

Just trying to make music I like... from a bedroom

"IYKYK" ruined my life so they gave me more of the "IYKYK"
I've been given apathetic love from the internet and i dont know what to do with it 
not to be ungrateful for my "self"ruined life
Gender Dysphoric Marketable Unmarketable DJ that only makes mixes not music or whatever someday i'll get a virtual DJ gig once i have VR and a job.  #starbucksruinedmylife #iruinedmylife

i think the cruelty of capitalism is pretty fucking apparent, if not in gaza, then in the "tragic story" of my real life in my real life

Is there supposed to be a line between spectacle and reality? because my life feels treated like a spectacle, and im left to suffer in reality. 

its useless if i cant fidn myself, old feelings, sense of reality, right? and it seems like i shouldnt, maybe that others dont want me to. inferiority complex a la mode of pretending instead of being, too afraid to be able to remember

time for me to grow up of having a heart.  always comes out wrong anyway. and affecting others when i mean to affect myself. chasing what i run from because abused.
 
overconnected and not myself. shared too much of my real self and got hurt again. cant be helped by thode that care if its not safe to be me, and its not. not afraid, just tired of being hurt. fallen angel seemed orchestrated by others, or i just followed a hesrtless script of life.   let me be. let everyone be.  making them hurt me or be jealous to best me better me hurt me. why. special treatment? for what, computer anayøzers to learn from? no thank you. everyone has their own life to deal with, they dont care about me. 

everything is fine but everything is not fine, i feel ok but i dont feel ok at all. pushes everyone away, doesn't want to

just a profile for "better people" to pilfered in give-it-all away vain hope of gain

it's a joke dont take it seriously oh were you confused too bad dont care

everyone thinks im ok but its ok that i want to die 
they take my ideas but they dont take me
i guess i make them look bad and i go so far as to lament that but i feel like dying while theyre just ashamed
i shared my real self and they stole that too and tried to convince me to like being a guy 

are we even looking at the same picture through different frames_ what if we are experiencing different conjoined realities while some darker force is in worse control. well thats just what i think

THE MALENESS PERSISTS I WANT TO DIE PLEASE HELP I DONT KNOW WHAT TO FUCKING DO MY FACE IS SO MALE I WANT TO KILL MY SELF
approaching 30yrsOLD, the beginning of my end
TOO MALE
電気天気元気だめだめだめだめ前兆
even a blind squirrel (me) sometimes finds a nut (good ideas)
i am a dumb monkey but you keep me this way

negative nelly shpeal: 

digital kinda takes all the stimulation out and guessing correctly about stuff is crazy

the fun happy me i dont get to be because you took my insurance (and through that, my self worth) away from me!
dead inside, too tall and masc "ok with it"
easily confused Glitchi Glatchi disaster of a person abused by the computer, cast out by life, sunk by privatized corp. job insurance revokation. 

this is way too negative and i dont wanna preach at people but i am extremely hurt by all of this: a lot of you that have the loudest most carrying voices dont seem to know (despite how i try to lie-ably unable to be truthfully show you) or care how much pushing me into this masculine dysphoria hurts me, convincing me its actually euphoria, making it more difficult for me to let go of it, and in this almost always dissociated forgetting how to not be dissociated state of mind, usually reacting with fear at helpful treatments that force me to feel like CBD, --lost my train of thought and have to backgtrack, easier with writing--its even more difficult to do the easy thing and just be myself (wears a dress, feels dysphoria, sees male and female characters on screens forced to identify with the male characters out of physical similarities and lived experience, pressured to identify with them too. you really kill me inside. and im just trying to not let my femininity get pressured onto men and my "working for the greater good of women by being a boy toy" get to me neither) 

OK GREAT THANKS BYE <3
689
low brow bone adams apple too tall low voice skeleton masculinized they think its vanity i dont deserve my emotions they traumatized me for fun now they abude me for fun. crooked jaw couldnt follow ortho directions trying to help everyone even the conniving and dark and hurtful.  too old unøived youth always feeling overexpised my entire life all the soectscles fault no one cares they just leech and exploit and rape till i learn to like what i never got to have. so full of it cant see past self want others to be same but dumber

dad abused me out of womanhood again.  seeing others happy almodt makes me transphobic with deething left out jealousy and feeling incapable and dum

•🥴🖕🏼◇°Aye°◇🧊😤•
Skyler•♡•Dean


           [Tried▪︎Stayin'Clean]
×o×o×o×o×o×o×o×o×o×o×o×o×o×o
   🙂‍↕️Stuck°In'a×Perpetual•Lean🌬

Read bio?……..
>[𝒀𝒆𝒔] 𝑵𝒐
𝑷𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒆 𝑾𝒂𝒊𝒕...
𝑳𝒐𝒂𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈...
████ 15%
██████ 30%
████████ 50%
████████████ 75%
████████████████ 95%
██████████████████ 100%
       ~Hiii!~
ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨Welcome to my bio enjoy knowing about meﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨
Name: Sarah 🧸
Nickname: Babygirl  🙄
Siblings: 7 brothers &  3 sisters
bestfriend:  ꨄ︎ఌ︎P̶a̶i̶g̶e̶ ఌ︎ꨄ︎
My ride or die: They deleted there acc 😭  
Grade: 7th📚
Single or Taken: Single 
Sexuality: gay bi
Adopted or not: Adopted
Zodiac Sign: Aquarius & Capricorn
Hair Color: chocolate brown
Eye Color: Hazle 💚
Height: 5’2” in a half (short)🤦🏻‍♀️
Birthday: January 19th🥶❄️
Style: A little bit of tomboy and a little girly { IM NOT A GIRLY GIRL }
What I love: oversized hoodies 
What I like for my free time: being cuddled( Only if I had a lover )
Hobbies: Art/drawing, Soccer & Sleeping 
Favorite Color: Black 🖤
Age: 12 😇 
Gender: Female ✨ 
Just mail me the emojis if you want
 ❤️:If you want to be friends
 ❤️❤️:If you like me
 ❤️❤️❤️:If you want to be with me
 ❤️❤️❤️❤️:If you understand how I feel
 ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️:If you are gonna try and show me some love
Ik how to talk in Japanese & Spanish & some Chinese and many more
❤️= You're dating someone who cares about you
🧡= You were cheated on more than 1
💛= You're dating your soulmate
💚= You're going to confess to your crush soon
💙= Have a long-distance relationship
💜= You're confused with life
🖤= Your Bed is your bf or GF
🤍= You're single ✨✨
🤎= Your love life is crazy
💔= Your heart was broken in the last week
💗= You're in an open relationship
💘= You have a crush and it’s ur BFF
💓= Your relationship is on the rocks
Me:🤍💜💚🧡
{\__/}
(•~•) you want my heart dont break it okay..
❤️‍🩹<\
{\__/}
(•^•)
/>❤️‍🩹 here dont break it tho
{\__/}
( •︿•) you broke it...
/>💔
{\__/}
(o︿o) *anxiety*
/>🖤
__♥__♥_____♥__♥___ Put This
_♥_____♥_♥_____♥__ Heart
_♥______♥_______♥__ On Your
__♥______/_______♥___ Page If
___♥______\_____♥____ You Had
____♥____/_____♥_____ Your Heart
______♥__\___♥_______ Broken
__________♥_________ Once <3

-♥♥--♥♥𝕎𝕒𝕝𝕝 𝕀𝕗 𝕐𝕠𝕦 ℍ𝕒𝕧𝕖
-♥♥--♥♥𝕆𝕣 𝕊𝕦𝕗𝕗𝕖𝕣 𝕎𝕚𝕥𝕙
-♥♥--♥♥(𝔻𝕖𝕡𝕣𝕖𝕤𝕤𝕚𝕠𝕟)
--♥♥♥♥(𝔹𝕚𝕡𝕠𝕝𝕒𝕣)
---♥♥♥(𝔸𝕟𝕠𝕣𝕖𝕩𝕚𝕒)
--♥♥♥♥(𝕊𝕖𝕝𝕗 ℍ𝕒𝕣𝕞)
-♥♥--♥♥𝕆𝕣 𝔸𝕟𝕪
♥♥----♥♥𝕄𝕖𝕟𝕥Al
__🏳️‍🌈_🏳️‍🌈_____🏳️‍🌈_🏳️‍🌈__ 𝘗𝘶𝘵 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴
_🏳️‍🌈___🏳️‍🌈_🏳️‍🌈____🏳️‍🌈_ 𝘏𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵
_🏳️‍🌈_____🏳️‍🌈______🏳️‍🌈__ 𝘖𝘯 𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳
__🏳️‍🌈_____/______🏳️‍🌈__ 𝘗𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘐𝘧
___🏳️‍🌈____\_____🏳️‍🌈__ 𝘠𝘰𝘶 Support
____🏳️‍🌈___/___🏳️‍🌈____ LGBTQ+
______🏳️‍🌈_\_🏳️‍🌈______
_________🏳️‍🌈_________

𝐆𝐢𝐫𝐥: 𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐨𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐬 𝐈 𝐜𝐚𝐧
𝐁𝐨𝐲: 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐞?
𝐆𝐢𝐫𝐥: 𝐍𝐨 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐳𝐲?!
𝐁𝐨𝐲: 𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐞?
𝐆𝐢𝐫𝐥: 𝐲𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐭
𝐁𝐨𝐲: 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐮 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐞
𝐆𝐢𝐫𝐥: 𝐧𝐨 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫!
𝐁𝐨𝐲: 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐦𝐞?
𝐆𝐢𝐫𝐥: 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐢 𝐠𝐞𝐭
𝐁𝐨𝐲: 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐢𝐭 𝐦𝐞?
𝐆𝐢𝐫𝐥: 𝐝𝐞𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐧𝐨𝐭
𝐁𝐨𝐲: 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐈 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮?
𝐆𝐢𝐫𝐥: 𝐲𝐞𝐬
𝐁𝐨𝐲: 𝐁𝐚𝐛𝐞
(𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐢𝐭 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐬)

I just repost stuff i think is worth reposting. Or is funny