Helps me cope. Worked for years to be the person i wanted to be, and a brain injury had to strip me of that ✋😔❤️‍🩹

love this 5th time listening to it today one of your best songs by far

SadBoyProlific - Rearrange

fairytale w/ fiji rich (prod. 4lexf)

i get no sleep
i'm chasing dreams while i'm in agony
my face is numb 
my head is bruised for something sensory
lay down defences 
fall fatigued only a moment away
all i need is for you to stay

agony w/ lyrah & splashgvng

Written by Senzu, Lxst Boy 
Produced by Heydium
Mixed and mastered by Lxst Boy

Lyrics

Senzu
[Verse]
she was girl from july,
the type with light blue eyes,
the type that drew you close, and made you love her 
like the most
im so sorry i left
if i could do it again
id probably stay, but then id leave cus
the good things fade away

[Hook]
i, went through so many sleepless nights
just to make sure that you're alright, just to make sure
that you'd stay mine
i, did everything i tried
just to say you weren't defined,
by the lies i told to you

Lxst Boy
[Verse]
i told so many lies in the past, yeah
i dont wanna fight, wanna make it all right, yeah
everytime i speak, realize its bad timing
feel im drowning, these sleepless nights
got a hold of me again
lxst my future, lxst my friend
i wont ever sleep again
when i shut my eyes i see you with him

Sleepless Nights Ft Lxst Boy [Heydium]

This song is about a couple of times I came very close

Lyrics

Have you ever cried while holding a gun to your head
If I squeezed a little harder it paints a splatter of red
Have you ever been called a burden so much that it’s etched 
In your brain even the word induces a sense of dread
Have you ever wanted praise for something you worked so hard to get
But was introduced to the mental abuse instead
Have you ever asked help from your friends
But instead they leave you on read even though 1 simple fucking text all it takes to prevent
Cause even when I reach out it seems that I become translucent it’s really amusing
I’ve even told that when I’m dead my ashes will become a nuisance
who would buy a coffin for the boy who was perceived as useless
I really can’t escape this impudence
I swear ima loose it
I’ve tried everything and there is no solution
It’s the people who act like they care who be the pollutants
I feel like I would be better off dead and no one disputes it
can’t take this shit a helpless kid
That wonders if a better fit would be if he settles it when he takes a bath and slits his-
Wait Calm down 
Don’t think too much
Been planing this shit I’m getting worked up
A couple months ago I found one of my parents guns
Only 1 bullet but that’s more than enough
To end it
Barrels on my temple hands shaking when I held it
Pull the trigger... fucking misclicked
Once again, life flashed within an instant

Have You Ever? (prod. YperBeatz)

Collaboration with : LxseR / Prod by micco. 
Lo-Fi Artists🥀

a message to my ex

a message to my ex w/ matego

Into The Void (Prod. Chronyc)

Who Knew Such A Pretty Face Could Hurt w/futoh

written by Lxst Boy, Cavasoul, and soku
produced by Riddiman and oldboyy
mixed and mastered by Lxst Boy
cover art by futoh
out on all platforms

-lyrics-
(Hook: Lxst Boy)
finish up my homework then I write another song
why does everybody hate me I swear that I did nothing wrong
got like 20 messages everytime I check my phone
but i will never answer them, I hate this feeling its getting old

(Verse 1: Lxst Boy)
try to tell me that im not ok
but cant you see the smile thats plastered on my face
like come over sometime and find me dead at my place
im sipping on this coffee praying that this pain would go away
the solitude is nice but I'm sick of being alone
walked a million miles on a path they call the lonely road
pondering my consciences, the deepest part of my soul
but hey im just a kid so what do i really know

(Hook)

(Verse 2: Cavasoul)
i hate this feeling, feeling horrible
is getting old
im losing meaning, meaning everything is seeming horrible
I'm conceited, seated at a table undesirable
I know that she could ruin me because shes so adorable
I fall asleep and I see images of violence
I see a side of me incite a riot
swear my head is never quiet
I'm craving death, it tries to overtake my fear of dying
I'll just go to bed so hopefully I can stop fucking crying
i hate this feeling that I feel whenever I open up my eyes
and now my lungs have started hurting as result from getting high
it gets tiring when you always just feel like you could die
now I'm breaking down again, just for today is the third time

(Hook)

(Verse 3: soku)
it's getting old, I'm growing old and I don't know if i could stay
every time you look my way I just turn and look away
I don't know if I could stay in this place
with this feeling that I hate and it won't go away yeah
yeah my voice is sounding stupid and my grades are going down
everybody else around hating me I feel the frown
on my face yeah I'm a waste yeah
telling everyone I might just take a break yeah
I finish up my homework then I go and cry alone
everybody hating me  and so I walk the lonely road
got like 20 messages every time i check my phone 
but that's not quite reality I hate this feeling it's getting old

(Hook)

@cavasoul
@soku_music
@prodriddiman

S T R E A M

i hate this feeling w/ cavasoul & soku (riddiman x oldboyy)

I actually posted this on tik tok awhile ago but here it is if you haven’t listened yet

Lyrics

Now days a struggle to even wake up
I just wanna lye maybe die on the inside I can’t help being strangled by thoughts
What I do doesn’t matter my hope just gets shattered but when stagger I still pick myself up
And I wish I was cool and wasn’t so lame 
And I wish I could shine even when there’s some rain
And I’m counting my days they all feel like the same
 
going insane And I can’t be myself
Wasting my time and ignoring my health
It’s harder to talk I can barley inhale
I’ve tried everything and I just seem to fail
I’m giving up life and it’s not hard to tell
I wanna be free not and live in a shell 
too tired to try 
I just wanna live life 
but not as me 
as somebody else

i dont wanna be me anymore (Rxseboy open challenge)

i'm too busy reminiscing so don't ask me to dance...

Discover Thomas Reid:
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/0dcxj82ddksd6tDDcJgbqo?si=-O1Ii6RgTaKCD8_BdvoQvQ&dl_branch=1
Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/thomasreidmusic
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thomasreidmusic/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/thomasreidmusic

Discover Ben Beal:
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/0CTpeTOAvzc1FOlPj4uYWV?si=qqrtiyDDTpaTVfGs19ePYg
Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/benbeal
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/imbenbeal/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/imbenbeal

Spotify

dance (feat. ben beal)

Just a 17 year old trying to make music I like... from a bedroom

i dont wanna be me anymore (Rxseboy open challenge)

Dysphoric

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