[Verse 1]
The winter was as cold as the embedded despair that danced with the promise of death,
The light of the morning there was a sick craving felt,
A pack of vile heaven I was saving still,
When I started dripping sweat with heavy breathing,
The sickness disgusted me,
To the point of panicking,
Heart beating out of my chest,
Dope sick insanity.
[Chorus]
I grabbed my silent screams and swallowed them in regret,
I just want this to end,
Heroin is the gun I defended,
The weapon I sing sweet lullabies to every time I play victim,
Daring to take my life away.
[Verse 2]
Communication came in the night,
A message from a relative,
Death had come to my father,
Suicide was the cause.
Sick all day,
I can't stand the pain,
Dripping nose like the vomit leaks,
From the intoxication of a purge with the onset of the rush of an opiate.
[Bridge]
Cold to the bone shaking like jackals laughing when they're hunting,
Sweat leaking out of my skin like snake oil salesmen corrupt and sell,
Glazed like the morning dew mist in the flames of hell,
Flowing out like the exhale of carbon dioxide filth,
This suicide, the cause and effect,
The taste of no regrets was a disgusting reality,
Coming to a tragedy in the throes of a loss,
When addiction with suffering played the role.
[Verse 3]
To sing a sonnet,
A symphony from the demons below,
The church of misery holds the ceremony of lost souls,
To finally let go,
The death of one will create another dead soul,
The powder of the sedative,
The dirt of a flower,
With the god of sleep and the mouth of the devil's breath to infuse gave it,
Its power of my final hour.
[Chorus]
The sands of time the intoxicant encased with the liquid of life,
Boiling from the flames beneath a spoon in the dead of night,
Drawing up its contents,
The elixir of pleasure of death together cries,
Wrapping rope and knots to close off the flow of life's gift.
[Bridge 2]
I poured all I could into the tool,
For a poison that would predict its ending,
Pressure added to the pulse of life,
Like a stealth weapon,
I let the hymn of god off my lips roll out,
Euphoria to nothingness in a life's second,
The world went black as my life left with the barrel still inside its target limb.
[Outro]
The void,
There was peace,
Then agony and echoing,
As life was given back to me,
When you survived the tragedy,
Saved by oxygen.

Dope Sick Void  [ Exiled N Euphoria]

This is My AI Band for my Trauma Art Therapy Music.
All Lyrics Written & Developments done by me Echos or Nexus Khimera. Including how I created the Sound and all Lyrics are from my personal Experiences. 

Welcome I'm Nexus Khimera. I have been a vocalist & lyricist since I was 15 , now I'm 38. My doctors asked me to try it for therapy. I never stopped. I have been diagnosed with Antisocial/BPD Cluster C Personality Disorder, Dissociative Identity Disorder, CPTSD/ PTSD. I've had DID since I was young around 5 next 15 then through 19 to 38. My alters have been writing since 15, to help realise stored buried trauma & use their voices helping them to crawl to the surface. I'm a survivor of sexual, physical & emotional abuse & victim of domestic violence. My alters told me to start creating music here, when I started here I got sick, after playing them over and over. I got nauseous my guts were speaking to me, I could feel them surfacing. Crawling around MelanKholyia N the system. From family, to their friends and every one I tried to get close would abuse me, abandoned me or used me as a doll until I was as hollow as the echoes of the fundamental nothingness the obsidian womb. This is my Trauma Art Therapy. Bringing Mental Health Awareness to music notes. If you struggle with | Dissociative Identity Disorder | Antisocial Personality Disorder CPTSD PTSD. This music just for us <3.
 Thank you for your support. Thank you for not taking my music or stuff out of what I'm really trying to do now with the info I have now told confronted my on my family telling them what happened tonight. As last night for the first time I confronted my family. All I got was lies from them as they turned what they have done against me as they have my whole life now I have proof , at this point their lies and denial has got me to this point.
I will not hide myself or feel ashamed to tell the truth now because I've learn to accept myself for once I my life. I'm sick of this self hate and disgusted because of what I have become because of my environments and things that happened to me. Because of the embarrassment and how much I hate myself because well that's whats happens when everytime you try to say something others are invading the places. That are made to be safe. I'm not going to stay quite ever again I will scream out until I lose all breath. The stigma must be broken .

38 Years old

Syracuse IN

With a Masters & Dissociative Degree N Damage & Art

I write all lyrics in both Bands

Regarding the musical projects, "Echo's N Melankholyia" is an online band where I serve as the lyricist and intend to transition into vocal duties. For the live band "Mothyii," I am the lyricist and vocalist. As a professional artist, poet, and lyricist, I have received diagnoses for ASPD, BPD, DID, ADHD, SAD, OCD, GAD, Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, and Hypersexuality.

Nexus Khimera utilizes musical expression as a form of trauma art therapy, channeling experiences of abuse, toxic relationships, and addiction into compositions. The artist's work, reflecting a journey of survival and recovery, incorporates elements of Goth Rock, Industrial Rock, Nu Metal, Gothcore, Post Rock, Grunge, Post Grunge, Dark Wave, and cyberpunk. The resulting soundscapes are characterized by haunting atmospheres, dark ambient textures, and emotionally charged layers, reflecting themes of mental health and personal struggle. As Nexus Khimera, I operate as an artist, poet, lyricist, and vocalist, exploring the complexities of the human psyche within the context of cosmic themes. My creative endeavors, influenced by Borderline Personality Disorder and the effects of past trauma, serve as a means of processing and transforming internal struggles. My artistic practice encompasses a range of mediums, including charcoal drawings that blend biomechanical and Lovecraftian elements, dark surrealism, and abstract expressions derived from emotional experiences. Through a combination of AI-assisted and traditional techniques, I aim to confront and transmute personal traumas into evocative visual narratives. My poetry also plays a crucial role in this process. My artistic expression, characterized by free verse, unconventional lyrics, and a distinctive vocal delivery, functions as a therapeutic outlet, allowing for the articulation of complex emotions and observations of a world often perceived through a somber lens.

I invite you to explore this realm of shadowed beauty and candid revelations. Please follow Nexus Khimera on social media to stay informed about his creative endeavors.

Thank you for your visit. I hope your day is filled with moments of both wonder and introspection. I encourage you to return soon.

Please explore my band, Echo's N Melankholyia, and consider subscribing.

[Links to YouTube, Suno, and Facebook]

© 2025 by Echo's N Melankholyia. Lyrics by Nexus Khimera. All rights reserved. Music generated with Suno AI. Date: September 5, 2025. "It all Begins." Decipher the underlying messages. Encryption is my method.Characterized by free verse, unconventional lyrics, and a distinctive vocal delivery, it functions as a therapeutic outlet, allowing for the articulation of complex emotions and observations of a world often perceived through a somber lens.

I Invite you to explore this realm of shadowed beauty and candid revelations. Please follow Nexus Khimera on social media to stay informed about his creative endeavors.

Thank you for your visit. I hope your day is filled with moments of both wonder and introspection. I encourage you to return soon.

Please explore my band, Echo's N Melankholyia, and consider subscribing. Thank you all for your support.

Dope Sick Void [ Exiled N Euphoria]

Echo's N MelanKholyia