Day 1 of the FAWM challenge and I woke up from an anxiety dream with lyrics already happening so I croaked them into my phone with my eyes closed...then later this happened. The whole creation part took under 2 hours and of course - it's not really finished. I recorded it in one take multitracking the rc-505/a stage mic straight into Ableton. Used Fresh Air plugin on the vocals but that's it.

Up for anyone who feels like they could work a middle8 in or get the thing finished! 

This one's for all of you who have an ongoing relationship with performance anxiety, their impostor syndrome and a sense that time is running out...

LYRICS

V1
Crawling through the thickest air
Finish line isn’t anywhere
Got cut grass stuck in my hair

Somehow I’m dressed up to the nines
The others lapped me 15 times
No-one cheering here for me, or mine

B1
Eyes glued shut, can’t look back
Don’t know if I’m still on track
I could be crawling to an edge
Or into a hedge

Did my make-up, sparkling green
But I never got to pick a team
Mouth sewn shut, can’t even scream
What a dream, what a dream,
What a dream, what a dream…

Chorus
So how do I trust the timing of my life?
By ripping off my covers?
Or cowering in the shower, with my impostor
Waiting to be discovered?

How I know when it’s time to go
When I go, I find I’m moving way too slow
[…!]

What a dream, what a dream
What a life What a scheme

V2
I’d written a song, this was the warm-up
Getting ready to perform-up
It slipped away, left behind
Oh, I feel it all unwind

B2
Tell me, did you others team up?
To make me feel I wanna beam up?
All the players, ready, primed
Still I don’t see no finish-line

I’m just scrabbling there
Grass in my hair

Chorus

(end scraps)

What A Dream

LYRICS

V1
Ok, yes, ok
Have your way again today
Ok, yes, ok
I always give in, anyway

Guess I love you without limits
Without you love,
I
Guess

I’d live life with less love in it
So I always say
Ok, yes, ok
           
V2
Say no, say yes, say no - say,
I don’t think you’re listening though
Say no, say yes, say no - say,
Do you really wanna know?

Much as I love endless drama,
Endless love, I 
As 
Much

Feel for you for being you, yet
Still I always do 
Say no, say yes, say no

#2 Ok, Yes, Ok

This - I believe - is a traditional Native American mantra originally used to encourage warriors, and now continued to be chanted by indigenous Mexican people. It has come to me via a friend who learned to sing this within a temazcal (sweat lodge) ceremony. 

I'm happy to share this as it has come from a tradition that welcomes all regardless of religious affiliation etc.

It's a beautiful and powerful song and I have been enjoying layering and having fun with it! It's just a seed at the moment but thought I'd post it up anyway.

I'm open to offers for collaborators on this one from sympathetic producer people - keen to respect the original mantra and also wish to create something joyful that might go off at a festival!

Animo Guerrero

I have had this song knocking around for 4 years unfinished and could never decide if I like it or not. The words tell the story of being creatively and personally blocked, and I like their imagery and rhythm...hm!

I am completely up for someone with fresh eyes and ears taking the lyrics for a collab with new music! 

And I'm also interested in what people feel works and doesn't work. (Obviously this isn't a superdooper final edit or anything - I am not a producer or arranger.)

LYRICS
Verse 1
There’s a girl in the knot in my stomach
Crying No! mama stop, I won’t have it

Her hands are in fists
But she’s bound at the wrists
Wound in wire

She writhes and she twists
And her eyes are of
Flickering fire

Verse 2
There’s a bird beats its wings in my chest
Have you heard? Sometimes he sings as I rest

He can only take flight
In the calm of the night
When I’m sleeping

But for most of the day
He is folded away
Beating time…

Verse 3
There’s a world comes alive as my eyes close
It’s a garden that blooms just for me
I can’t go climb the trees, lie in mallows
It’s been so long since I lost the key

How the girl trails her hands in the water
How the bird swoops and dives by the pool

How the girl sings her song
Like she’s always belonged
To this vision

How the bird flies along
As he moves with such grace
And precision

#4 The Knot, The Cage & The Garden

This is a quick demo of a song which was also written really quickly, in a couple of hours. I think I needed to write it. It came from another dream I had, this time about escaping the claustrophobia of daily life with a new love...sooooo...a bit of a guilty dream!

I am vulnerable about my vocals on this which were done with folks in the house, so I didn't really let go. I'm not really working on my voice right now but one of my projects for later this year is to get some vocal coaching and strengthen my upper range. These are definitely placeholder vocals! The backing is just a single, one-shot audio recorded straight from my looper, so again - just a quick job to give an idea.

LYRICS
V1
I can’t settle
To anything
I pace from room to room
And dream of sprouting wings

But I’m grounded
And so tired
Can’t muster even strength enough 
to step outside

It’s so heavy
Living here
I have to medicate 
To numb the fear

Chorus
I lost my way
Come, find me in the maze
I know you think of me
Like more than a friend

I lost my spark
Come, hold me in the dark
Hold up a light
Ignite me again
uh-oh uh-oh uh-oh uh-oh 
Where I am 
nobody can find me
I hope, I hope, I hope, I hope
With our smoke signal
The world will find me

V2
It’s not sexy
Feeling grey
I know you think I’m happy
Well, I’m happy to fake

Put some colour
In my face
Call my name in all the corners
Of these rooms I pace

Our fire
Will burn it down
Then I’m gonna pack the smallest bag
and leave this town

Chorus
I lost my way
Come, find me in the maze
I think you think of me
Like more than a friend

I lost my spark
Come, hold me in the dark
Hold up a light
Ignite me again

I hope, I hope, I hope, I hope
With our smoke signal
The world will find me
uh-oh uh-oh uh-oh uh-oh 
Where I am
nobody can find me

Bridge
You’re all I want
You’re all I want
Come light me up
Babe, don’t say you can’t 
(Babe, don’t be a ****)

Smoke Signal

This one is a bit of a cheat so far as FAWM is concerned, as it was finished in November 2023 - BUT I originally joined FAWM this year with the intention of using it as a nudge to properly record my EP of 3 piano-based "heartbreak" ballads, of which this is the first in the trilogy.

Nobody much writes about love and the longevity. But those who are committed to relationships of longer than a decade must be able to relate to the truth that there is both enduring love, and love as a test of endurance.

Luckily, I've found that writing songs about love - real love, and every nuance therewithin (suffering, doubt, disappointment, hope, joy) - helps us move through more gracefully and consciously.

Enjoy! This isn't mastered and I still have some harmony vocals to add.


LYRICS

I thought it would be fun
I thought that we were good
It felt like we’d be fine
I really thought we would

You’d buried your gun
The day we hiked into the woods
I had dropped a line of crumbs
Every place we stood

We were kissing by the stream,
running down the slope
Learning how to dream, 
learning how to hope
Dancing by the lake, 
dipping in our feet
Forgetting ‘bout the grey
Of the city streets 

Then life came round
It took us down

20 years here strangling my hopes
20 years of you handing me the ropes
Noose around my neck, living in a box
Hangin’ all my dreams with your slipknots

I knew you were the one
But I misunderstood
And now I know the truest love
Can get lost in the woods

I blamed you for the crumbs
That got eaten by the birds
Now I can hear a gun
Exploding in your harshest words

We’re fighting in the car,
I’m crying in the street
I'm staring at the sky
You're staring at your feet
Learning how to hide
This from all our friends
Forgetting all our hopes 
For a happy end

But the whole damn town
Sees us go down

20 years here strangling your hopes
20 years of me handing you the ropes
Noose around your neck, marriage on the rocks
Hangin’ all your dreams with my slipknots

How we got here, only we know
I can’t bear to see you hang your head low
Please don’t look at me standing in the docks
Hangin’ all our dreams with slipknots

I thought you were fearless
I wish you could hear this
Remember when we made our vows? 
(So sure)
Can we bring that here, now?

Kissing by the stream, 
running down the slope
Learning how to dream,
learning how to hope
Dancing by the lake, 
dipping in our feet
Everything was you, 
everything was me

You were skipping stones,
I was watching you
Till then I’d never known
How it could be with two
Singing you my songs, 
Learning how to trust
This is real love
This is more than lust…

Smoke Signal

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