~sigh~

flatsound

Are you sure you want to listen to this?

yeah

you said okay

saturday dec 14 2013

bubble boy, an insignificant cell on a strangers body. a nobody, with no purpose, but i’ll still find a way to draw parallels to who looks better with their shirt off. now it feels like the world is spinning too quickly and sometimes i just can’t fucking believe that i’m here right now. please, i’m begging you to compare me to someone else. spit in my mouth,  then on my chest. let me taste you so when you’re gone i’ll know exactly what i’m missing. it’s 1am and i want to be apart of you in ways you’ll only bring up when you talk shit on me years later. until then i’ll kiss your stretch marks, and you’ll run your fingers across old scars, and together we’ll repeat 'i love you' until the mirror breaks.

the root of my problems doesn’t have a root at all. it isn’t a string or trail of bread crumbs i can follow back to a single moment. it isn’t a suppressed thought, it’s a voice that convinces me my thoughts are worth suppressing in the first place.

we'll repeat 'i love you' until the mirror breaks

don’t hold your tongue
i know we’re done
i’m not an idiot
there’s no coming back
from where we’ve been
and who we’ve been with
but these are not the people
we thought that we would touch
and i’m scared that if i see you
i’ll start missing you too much

i know i felt like home
a year ago
when this was new
we’ll learn who we are
when we drift apart
when we drift
but when did we become so old
tomorrow i turn twenty four
and i’m still chasing the dreams
we had in high school

now we’re clinging onto objects
that someone else had touched
in hopes that we still smell them
in the fabric and the dust
i took the book you wrote me
and i tore it into shreds
but i still keep it in a shoe box
in a space next to my bed
i want to hold you until i’m empty
and i’ve got nothing left
so when you let me go
could you do it slow

and i’m sorry that i went away
i just needed some time to make
the pain into something
you can hold

july 8th, 2014

you wrote "don't forget" on your arm

ABC'S

lyrics: you used to come up for air through a sea of other people, just hoping they don't notice that you are leaving again. you're leaving again. and i can't believe it's true, there are people like you. with the same heart, and the same marks on our bodies.

did everything feel beautiful when you let go of the idea of being anything at all? and you can't believe it's true, there are people like you. when i held you in my bathroom – i felt new.

you had a panic attack in my bathroom

thank you little cloud , 

                                        heartbreak hotel

Skin

skin

i exist i exist i exist

upcoming 2016 tour with american wrestlers
11/12 - Marquette, MI @ NMU w/ Beach Fossils
12/1 - Omaha, NE @ Slowdown
12/2 - Minneapolis, MN @ 7th Street Entry
12/4 - Toronto, ON @ The Garrison
12/5 - Montreal, QC @ La Divan Orange
12/6 - Allston, MA @ Great Scott
12/7 - Brooklyn, NY @ Baby's All Right
12/8 - Philadelphia, PA @ Boot & Saddle
12/9 - Washington, DC @ DC9 Nightclub
12/10 - Lakewood, OH @ Mahall's
12/11 - Chicago, IL @ The Empty Bottle

http://varsitytunes.com
http://varsity.bandcamp.com

So Sad, So Sad

a million missed calls

Snow

Snow (Feat. Killstation)

I spoke to the devil in miami, he said everything would be fine

buy it on itunes

nothing good comes from being gone

ferris bueller

a house, a home, a window
you were here before the floorboards broke
in on themselves like black holes
are the promises you keep
just for people that you want

because you can't read any of our old conversations
but i read them so often it's like we still talk

you said remembering would feel too much like moving back home

i lie in my bed, with the things i thought that we said
and try to pretend that everything was dead
but you wanted to be in anyone else's life, right?
and i will forget i'm anyone else's type, right?
i'm nervous

and yeah, i've been talking to someone else
i really think it helps this all feel like it's over soon

say goodbye

i'm nervous

remastered 9.21.17

thank you so much for 100k plays

Sample: Turnover - Disintegration

street lights

First single off our new album

Lyrics
I can't help you with hating yourself
I can't love you
You just hate yourself way too much 
You're so glamorous 
And indecisive 
And i can't handle this cause baby this is not what life is

You're on your phone all day
Stalking me on Twitter 
And I can't help but think that you still like me baby don't you lie to me

I Hope Youre Doing Okay

Rage Is Red, Violence Is Blue
true colors have torn my heart in 2
 I can't be your honey, I'm way too busy being sweet for everybody
and does it pain you when I say that I'll probably stay this way and I might never see your face again

Honeysuckle

hummingbird

action scene

you can’t ever look past the way that you yourself felt
talk to yourself, well, that’s the meaning of self help
and don’t beat yourself up in the pursuit of self happiness
because half the battle’s asking passionately just what “happy” is
take some time off to self reflect and self measure
sometimes you need to be self centered to understand yourself better
I’m feeling self possessed without the selfishness of self obsession
but if I do this for myself and no one else then it is self expression
self confident in that I’ll never let myself forfeit 
every word I write I’m certain I’m just painting a self portrait
and to all the self destructive people who feel they’ll never be themselves again
just know I understand that self inflicted pain is self defense
so don’t sell yourself short or label yourself as stupid
because when you’ve hit rock bottom every movement is a self improvement

be yourself

well if it seems stupid
you know that you’re on your way
to something much better
forgetting the moments that i’d say
i need you, i can feel it in my heart
and i know that i hate change
but lately its me doing the changing
if i could get back to where i was
i’d show you how strong my mother raised me
and how deep her words embraced me
and how brave the time has made me
and the things we thought were scary 
were just different

you grow out your hair the strength of rapunzel 
sometime in march i’m becoming an uncle
these are the times that i felt so blind to what i’ve done
so now i’m trying to live every day
without the fear that i create 
remember me just as i came
and not the boy who went away

i’m feeling your hands, they’re cold as the ocean
i’ve let myself down more than i’ve noticed
these are the times that i felt so blind to what i’ve done
just know that i’m trying, i’m trying, i’m trying
every single day

but if this has to be goodbye
let it be goodbye.

if this has to be goodbye

*http://flatsound.tumblr.com/post/21829771520/heres-another-track-off-of-twenty-minutes-of

i’ll sit and pretend
i know someone at an intimate depth
it always makes me feel like shit in the end
because you’re only as good as the people you consider your friends

so i’ll watch an aching past surface, and now i’m half certain
that everyone who associates with me’s a bad person
because everyone who associates with me is as worthless 
now i finally understand what it means to lack courage
and at the end of the day it just defeats the damn purpose
to share the fruit of your knowledge while completely malnourished

now i’m trying to let go of the things that torture me inside
so congratulations, you’re cordially invited
to a small list of things that i normally would hide
high school, no comprehension of enough harm
codeine for numb hearts and patching up cut arms
but drinking cough syrup when you didn’t have a cough
is ironic, because in reality you’re sicker than you thought
but like hearing new music and being too scared to turn it up
virgin blood mostly told me to stop at the surface cuts
but sometimes i wouldn’t eat more than a couple bites
and sometimes i’d go a week and not sleep more than a couple nights
and sometimes i’d get so wrapped up in the “couple life”
when the “couple life” failed me the first couple times

so now i’m grateful that it seems stupid, and i’m grateful that i miss you
because the passed two years are something i’m glad i had to sit through
because now that i know what it means to be dead
i can start living again

fuck me, i can start living again
i can smell it when i breathe
i can feel it when you leave
i can start living again

so i’m leaving behind the people who said i wasn’t brave enough
wrote an album called “sleep” and realized it’s about waking up. 

Poem

i record songs and write poems and i really hope you're having a good day.