four songs for losing you

you wrote "don't forget" on your arm

days dedicated to the thought of being through 
and i just want to lay in bed with you 
and admit that i'm so tired of everything i do 
but with you - it was new 

and i can't stop thinking of the moon 
or the nights i saw your breath in the room 
so draw a line within the snow 
between what you thought and what you know 
and in that space i'll build a home and i'll wait 

if this fire goes out i will keep you warm the best i can 
i'll throw everything i have into the flames just to make it last

in the absence of everything, i promise to keep you warm

there are reasons that i can't stay 
i counted them all myself 
but i will always keep awake 
searching for how it felt 
because all i want is to find myself in anyone 
and i wonder if it'll ever come 
as easy as us giving up 

if this could stop 
i don't think i'd want it to 
i built my life around watching everything you do 
it still feels like you can hear me when i talk to you 
you just don't respond 

and all i want is to find myself in anyone 
and i wonder if you're having fun 
i wonder if you're having fun 

all i want is to find myself in anyone 
and i wonder if you're having fun 
in that empty space where we used to talk

you wanted to look for help, i wanted to sit and wait to be rescued

you're on the phone 
with someone who doesn't know 
about your soul and how it 
can't be held by flesh and bone 
and i guess that's fine 
i would never want you to 
stop your life 
but when i saw you both 
with your shoulders touching 
sitting so close 

i knew i'd hold on to this feeling 
i'd hold on to anything at all 
was it my fault 
because i easily confused you 
for someone who would hold my hand 
when things got hard 
when things got dark 
because oh my god 
when they get dark 
they get so dark 

you were always a shitty friend 
and you would leave when i got sick 
you never called me on my birthday 
i want to call you on your birthday 
so i'll hold on to this feeling 
i'll hold on to this hate 
for as long as i need 
for it to help me

learning to hate you as a self defense mechanism

i record songs and write poems and i really hope you're having a good day.

learning to hate you as a self defense mechanism

flatsound