but that dont mean it dont hurt the same😫

its late at night
and im drunk again
got a blurry sight
while im losing friends
imma die alone 
im bleeding on the pavement
doing drugs cus i lost hope
i'll never be her favorite 

yea i know
im never enough
thats why im always on drugs
but i like it like that 
and i know
that i should give a fuck
but i dont
nah i dont

@caspywaspy
i should give a fuck 
everytime that im stoned
everytime that im high
everytime that i'm broke
but i can't let go
of this pain that i hold
so i'll keep on digging
this big ass hole 
cause my walls caved in
and my floor it broke 
i need sum help
but i keep it on the low 
will i ever 
be better
well i don't know
will i last forever
shit i hope so 

just break what's left of me~
i beg u please just leave~
i don't want you to see 
the way i made myself bleed

i know w/casperrr (morin x splashgvng)

a mutual sickness report

Lyrics:

lights out
i guess im tired
and i been fightin sumthin
im goin silence huntin
i just want a moment, give me a second to hone it
every day that i wake, i gotta sharpen the blade

oh you're takin it back like it was a typo uh
i guess i was never your type then huh
cause you only like em when they love you and then leave but i wasn't that cause i never did mistreat you
you put up your guard, defend
how do we start again
when every conversation we're havin ends in disgust
cause i got insecurities and i know you don't trust
but honestly baby i don't want it to be the end of us

every time that we start to get close you pull away
and i know that i still gotta say it right to your face
but i make time to make sure that i'm around
but you never called, even when i'm not im town
oh i'll stay here even tho i know that it's fake
and i guess that we tried but it's just not aligned to fate
honesty and regret abstained, i think i almost loved you

every body got an opinion, i will just shut down
cause maybe i don't wanna hear you out the picture run mouth
and baby if i'm honest, i think that you should run now
cause ain't it bout that time for us to get close and then bounce out
eyes bled red but i want hazel instead
i'm sorry that i wasn't there when you wished you were dead
axe grind, cut the line, let my neck snap
make sure that it's taut baby won't work if it's slack

overdose license, pure death i siphoned
bro said stick to the tests, don't give a fuck i did the rest
swallowed all dat shit to give my respitory a rest
i was doin shit that'd give a baby hair on chest
and no im not proud, but i escaped from that cloud
shut the fuck up, boy them voices aren't loud
all those numbers on the internet, but you can't pull a crowd
and if we post up on this side then you are not allowed

oh shit i gotta, lie down
im dyin here won't you pipe down
you always said that what goes around comes back
but orbital, that's not how i'd describe my path
cause i just looked ahead and i see distance in my past
and things ain't goin slow your just too used to movin fast
i still got a couple questions i'm afraid to ask
understand i would but right now ima let it pass

a_pattern_of_disaffection_ (secre x splashgvng)

prod. sunshowers

i cant see any how else
no way! :')
people tell me how else
how else?! ;(
to breathe, to live, to see,
my friend died last week.
i dont want no one, else
stay away!, stay away!,
theres something thats been off today..
im changing up my day-to-day,
in hope and search for better days.
i cant see any how else
no way.. !
people tell me how else

i know this isn't, and i know youre kidding
you took!,-
damn near everything i had to barely call myself
i cant stand myself! <3
drowning in myself! < / 3
I DONT NEED NO HELP!
thats what i told myse-e-elf. . ...

ǝslǝ ʍoɥ ǝɯ llǝʇ ǝsɐǝld
ǝslǝ ʍoɥ ʎuɐ ǝǝs ʇuɐɔ ᴉ
to get out of this mess,
to get out of my head,
i think i just need rest..

i cant see any how else
...
people tell me how else
...
to breathe, to live, to see,
my friend died last week. .

yh, yh,
get away, GET AWAY,
I really fucking h*te this place!
im changing up my day today,
and i know it wont change anything at all♡..
i try, i guess, but who am i?
fuck all the complications,
read the text, now my heart's racing!
hideaway, hideaway, yh :c
its time to question everything, yh!! ;c
dont turn back now,
you can slow down,
smoke that roach now,
blow that smoke out,
to clear my mind drought,
set the sun out..

i cant see any how else
no way! :')
people tell me how else
how else! ;(
to breathe, to live, to see,
my friend died last week.
i dont want no one, else
stay away, stay away,
theres something thats been off today
im changing up my day-to-day,
in hope and search for better days
no, way..

last week

i needa go to work my girl if u hear me now 
i’ll be back at 6
make u food if u want it 
woke up in a good mood 
but shortly after lost it 
this table and this screen 
keep me in like a coffin 
at my 9-5 way too high to be conscious 
broke another streak
i feel bad for my sponsors
need to put this bottle down
head spinnin like a comet
2 litre sprite
pinewood then cherry drop it 

like run your diagnostics 
on my friends 
anythin u want girl
i’ll buy it 
can’t afford a prada bag
so i rolled this 10 
will u hold me down when i get indicted
pass the gas to my homie only smoke fire
hold the knife in my hand and i get excited 
pass the gas to my baby yea she light it
she put flowers on the grave that i’m inside inside in

and it’s like lately
idk, i can’t explain 
i been - 
ugh

i mean, like lately,
i been low once again 
i feel like things are starting to fall into place
then they slip and i drop them 
they smash like a vase
always just a fuck up 
yea i cannot explain
why do i always think people want me this way
then they cut and they stitch n they try change my shape
i pop pills n im lazy 
the fuck can i say
either take me 
or leave me 
stop playing this game 
i’m a person i deserve to be loved and- 

tf am i sayin 
just pass me a 30 n get out my way 
i’ve gone cold through these years that you’ve shredded my brain 
what’s a life without fighting 
feel fuckin insane
did you see how he fell when i hit him again 
i got blood on my hands wash it off in the rain
i can’t make a fist or hold my phone a few days 
but i promise that pussy won’t try it again
all i need in this life is some weed and a pen

i’ll be back at six (nevrfall)

halfhearted (https://soundcloud.com/user-642636378)
FøRD (https://soundcloud.com/breckenford)

Greenwood:
ice on my shit, when i'm stopping it
(burning cold when i hit)
i just left an ounce where my body is
(up inside of this bitch)
up inside my head as soon i'm clocking it
(clocking shit and i dip)
they won't find a reason, it ain't obvious 
i promise it

i call out in the snow
(somewhere to feel life)
i wonder where it goes
(someone to take mine)
i don't know if you know 
(fade in the foglight)
that we've been here before
something else gotta give i don't know why

FøRD:
seems like every day time slips 
saying mayday
lucky life I live if you say that then you don’t know me
cuz i deal with the phonies and the frauds on the daily
they make me an insomniac why everybody hate me
they act like they all want me but they really just betraying 

baby often makin me so silent make me shaky
I’m waitin while faded

the lights up in our basement 
still shaded but luckily it’s still vacant

so come down when u wasted
I’ll change it to that playlist 
I’ll wash away the parts that you invisioned would be painless
girl you make me so brain dead 
like grab another latex get in bed get undressed and then I’ll say what to do next

halfhearted:
who’s next in line
got me walking through a dream
i’m on ur mind
but it’s nothing like it seems

u pushing me so far
my heart been living on the brink
gotta shoulder full of scars
i think you like to watch me bleed

but i don’t got time for you

lay me deep down i’m dancing with the devil by myself
where to go now
i’m sick of knowing you won’t ever help
you’re not helping me

Greenwood:
up the dose, yeah i'm taking two
steady shifting, i feel it move
i was losing my mind in truth
i was hoping you'd see it too
i was hoping you'd wanna go
i was hoping you'd see the pain
i was broken you wouldn't know
but that don't mean it don't hurt the same
up inside of my room
fuck the job, i'm aloof
drink the pain on the roof
nothing helps, i'm the proof
nothing changes in oakwood
couldn't text back cause my phone fucked
no one here even knows us
like i'm not here to be social

Someone Used to Live Here (w/ halfhearted & FøRD)

ghost town w/sendflowrs (prod. wetmall)

dedicated to my grandmother

Lyrics: 

i can feel my chest cave now 
it’s hard to breathe when my body’s layin face down
let me know 
when the decision you’ve been hidin in your mind becomes actionable 
and this feels like my last good night in a while
i’ll grab the brand new spark out the fire 
and i hope the x-rays come back clean
cause i don’t wanna explain what it means

when my cavities won’t open right
while i lay in bed just barely graspin at life 
i want you to make the decision 
cause i don’t think that i couldn’t lie

i can feel my chest cave now 
it’s hard to breathe when my body’s layin face down
let me know 
when the decision you’ve been hidin in your mind becomes actionable 
and this feels like my last good night in a while
i’ll grab the brand new spark out the fire 
and i hope the x-rays come back clean
cause i don’t wanna explain what it means

[ do not fear death
death always at our side
when we show fear 
it jumps at us faster than light
but when we do not show fear
it casts its eye on us gently ]

i don’t feel right
but i’m alright
i don’t wanna make you worry when i know you can’t say a thing 
just keep me company
hold me while i breathe
at least while i still can
cause i know that even when you don’t say it i know that you love me
and i know that i won’t be there for you but i promise that i’m always
right next to you

i can feel my chest cave now 
it’s hard to breathe when my body’s layin face down
let me know 
when the decision you’ve been hidin in your mind becomes actionable 
and this feels like my last good night in a while
i’ll grab the brand new spark out the fire 
and i hope the x-rays come back clean
cause i don’t wanna tell you that it’s only weeks

coughin (raspo)

lyrics ⬇️ 

it never happened like I thought 
oh no
all alone until I rot
they gon pick apart my bones
I don’t need another slot
jus to fill a stupid spot and then screw up on the plot
ima roll up with with dawgs don’t you tell me I should stop
you don’t know what’s goin on. 
yea it’s not ur job

there’s opportunities everywhere 
i could keep going on
but I cut like silverware 
so now days I don’t want you to stare
i wish that we got along
but we’re not a perfect pair

yea why can’t you see way beyond the pier
i don’t appreciate all of the pressure here

it’s catching up to me
i think they want me dead
do they want me here
or do they want me there instead

I tried to show I want you less
cuz that’s the truth
Then you treat me like a pest
but don’t tell me what I do

what’s new
it’s an issue 
how I’m lost
with out you

i never the kind of cost
shoulda thought this through
cuz you ripped all of my wants and needs in two

what’s the obvious answer?
i don’t need you 
fake it with laughter 
but how can they prove
I can’t wait til after ik what to do
and I hope that she’s flattered when she hears the news

beyond the pier w/ decks (flesh x jolst)

lyrics 

[maesk]
hold me and don’t let go
do u not know what you are do u not know what this is
i get it ur drawn, unrealistic expectations, u have what is ideal and try to replicate it here in this cold world where the dark never disappears, the light we see will all wither till it’s final flair

i know a lot of people not a lot of people know me
i tend to prefer distance when so when it comes to being lonely 
i don’t mind guess i’m too aware, i’m not scared, only that i might never show fear
i’ll just stare at the ground

yeah i’m still human despite what u may think 
just plenty problems nothing like a good drink won’t fix
something to help me look at this place a little more wrong
maybe time to write another sad song


hold me and don’t let go
do u not know what you are do u not know what this is

time to write another sad song
a few will listen but no one else know how long
i been thinking and been feeling all these things 
u say u listen but u don’t know how it’s been. well u might soon

[goneafteraugust]

always had to hang my head by myself
get it together puff out my chest by myself
i know how it feels to be alone
leave a key under the mat in case i ever come home

so we can go lie down
where it’s quiet and the world won’t make a sound
u can listen to my heart beat pound
i’m headed to u babe i need it right now

Someone Used to Live Here (w/ halfhearted & FøRD)

Greenwood

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epitomeoffailure (hiatus)

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