HOLY FUCK unbelievable dude this is a new favorite for me from you <3

introduction
prod/ft my good friend @greenwood2000
<3

lyrics:
something was stolen
something i borrowed
must’ve been open
must’ve been hollow
& open progression
is nothing but awful
i trample my thoughts
till they’re tougher to swallow

its passion that kills you,
the nerve’s gonna drive you insane
i can’t stand to look back
when the only thing there is your name
i took this as a loss
when i should’ve been counting the days
its a wish on a star
you’re the one thing that’s keeping me sane
i’m losing this game
when you’re learning to lose
well, the world isn’t spinning the same

greenwood:
I put some distance out into the worlds
And I never trip about the way that it hurts
And I think they buried me deep in the dirt
But trust me, and trust me it still could get worse

Seventeen years in a hospital bed 
And they treat me different I know what it is
And it'd take a year to explain what it did
When I got a phantom inside of my limbs

Closed down, held over
And I found the worst way to tell you
And I couldn't leave but I'd let you
And tell me you think I'll be dead soon

Held down, I'm closer
And I found the best way to end it
And I didn't sleep just pretended
And fucked up my life like your friends said

its passion that kills you,
the nerve’s gonna drive you insane
(cant take back what i said, 
im the one you can blame)
i can’t stand to look back
when the only thing there is your name
(not the man in your heart,
he had went with the pain)
i took this as a loss
when i should’ve been counting the days
(its a pattern i keep,
wish i’d throw it away)
its a wish on a star
you’re the one thing that’s keeping me sane
(i know its too late)
i’m losing this game
when you’re learning to lose
well, the world isn’t spinning the same

learning to lose

learning to lose w/ greenwood

spotify & apple music!

[+ loverboybeats]

@navyxower
@dylaanlotus
@noxious-nights
@souldfadexo
@emptychest
@northshoremusic

(navy)
gotta black tee
some would say its green
baby i gotta lay down
baby im feeling weak

wandering through the streets
heartbreak on the seames
ima travel cross the sea, i wonder what it means

party you party, lets party you talk in ur sleep, i need to get outta here again
why do you wanna get down with him, i heard you talking im sick

when we met by the water
would you think of me differently, if i had a daugher
i watch all these aniamls go to slaughter
its cause ur all selfish, what did they do wrong

(dylan lotus)
i’m burning up, i been hellbound
i’m leaving this earth cuz you hate me
so fuckin lost, i been spellbound 
i’m under the curse that you gave me
fuckin it up til you break me
all of these drugs that i’m taking
lace a few pills and i’m soarin off
lovin a thrill yeah i’m pouring up
fucked up; i’m worthless 
constant soul searching 
am i really worthy of love? i’m not perfect

(noxiousnights)
why am i so hard on myself ?
my goals are too big it's ruining my health
i could really make it easier
but all the summer i make it feel like winter

I distort my mind to help me cope
the world is spinning i'm out of control
sometimes it feels like there's no hope
i'm lost in my thoughts i can't let go

(soulfade)
Surely hate the way you talk to me
When things around fallen downward
In sense I never wanted this
Things would never happen way too soon

Always talking to myself at the noon
Always staring blankly at the moon

(emptychest)
different day different rolls
u know how the story goes
u know how to keep me close
i know how to keep u warm
its my responsibility
to keep u warm..
i never thought id live, endeavor!
never thought id see forever!
i didnt think id find my home
I really thought id die alone 
die alone.
nobody knows whats in my head.
ive been counting down my days
so i can finally get some bread
ay, see my, be my, mind
you'd die in a second!
its crazy to think im the same as you

(TNS)
Take the path that’s in front of me 
Feel the rhythm inside of me 
Tired of just playing hide n seek 

Where you really at girl, I don’t wanna leave 
Self esteem aside, girl I need you with me 
I just did a full 180

Hide & Seek w/ NAVYXOWER, dylan lotus, noxiousnights, soulfade, emptychest & The North Shore

With mr. decks <3 (soundcloud.com/decksmusic)

Greenwood:

But you wouldn’t, you wouldn’t, you wouldn’t know

The lights getting dim and the darks getting in on its own

But you wouldn’t, you wouldn’t, you wouldn’t know

That I’m barely him and this house barely feels like a home

 
I hit the function at midnight, but it’s so done

And I couldn’t wait til you show up

And lately I’m holding out so much

But its only you that I dream of
("cuz when i fall asleep, ur the one i dream of")
 

With all of the lames around me but its not real

And know that I tripped a few times, but you know me

And I never could say no but I want to

And know that I’m in so deep, I just want you

 

(still breathing, I’m still breathing now)

But you wouldn’t, you wouldn’t, you wouldn’t know

(I’m here so please just hear me out)

The lights getting dim and the darks getting in on its own

(still breathing, I’m still breathing now)

But you wouldn’t, you wouldn’t, you wouldn’t know

(I’m here so please just hear me out)

That I’m barely him and this house barely feels like a home

decks:

or a heart

we’re apart

at the seams



we’re in love

from the start

i’m above

ur between



and the light

dimming now

say it loud

it can hurt sometimes but


how

in the night

falling out

its an awful time, what


can i do to mend what i have broken?

i take back all the words i’ve spoken

Both:
(still breathing, I’m still breathing now)

But you wouldn’t, you wouldn’t, you wouldn’t know

(I’m here so please just hear me out)

The lights getting dim and the darks getting in on its own

(still breathing, I’m still breathing now)

But you wouldn’t, you wouldn’t, you wouldn’t know

(I’m here so please just hear me out)

That I’m barely him and this house barely feels like a home

Softening (w/ decks)

Lyrics:

lights out
i guess im tired
and i been fightin sumthin
im goin silence huntin
i just want a moment, give me a second to hone it
every day that i wake, i gotta sharpen the blade

oh you're takin it back like it was a typo uh
i guess i was never your type then huh
cause you only like em when they love you and then leave but i wasn't that cause i never did mistreat you
you put up your guard, defend
how do we start again
when every conversation we're havin ends in disgust
cause i got insecurities and i know you don't trust
but honestly baby i don't want it to be the end of us

every time that we start to get close you pull away
and i know that i still gotta say it right to your face
but i make time to make sure that i'm around
but you never called, even when i'm not im town
oh i'll stay here even tho i know that it's fake
and i guess that we tried but it's just not aligned to fate
honesty and regret abstained, i think i almost loved you

every body got an opinion, i will just shut down
cause maybe i don't wanna hear you out the picture run mouth
and baby if i'm honest, i think that you should run now
cause ain't it bout that time for us to get close and then bounce out
eyes bled red but i want hazel instead
i'm sorry that i wasn't there when you wished you were dead
axe grind, cut the line, let my neck snap
make sure that it's taut baby won't work if it's slack

overdose license, pure death i siphoned
bro said stick to the tests, don't give a fuck i did the rest
swallowed all dat shit to give my respitory a rest
i was doin shit that'd give a baby hair on chest
and no im not proud, but i escaped from that cloud
shut the fuck up, boy them voices aren't loud
all those numbers on the internet, but you can't pull a crowd
and if we post up on this side then you are not allowed

oh shit i gotta, lie down
im dyin here won't you pipe down
you always said that what goes around comes back
but orbital, that's not how i'd describe my path
cause i just looked ahead and i see distance in my past
and things ain't goin slow your just too used to movin fast
i still got a couple questions i'm afraid to ask
understand i would but right now ima let it pass

a_pattern_of_disaffection_ (secre x splashgvng)

produced by triple gemini (soundcloud.com/trplgmni)

something else left to say here
i don't know what
everyday left to change pace in the dark
holding out for the first time that we go back straight through
the streetlights from the backseat of the car
and i'm deeper again
i pour it straight and its days gone
you couldn't notice and then (couldn't notice again)
i think i'm losing myself (think i'm losing myself)
and i don't know how to tell you when its over
could you hide it from the start?

you don't even speak like you know me
straight laying down what you taking out of me slowly
first time on the first night, you're my only
but its so dark, but its so cold
but its lonely

do you think its the same thing
or you think that its gone?
cause its only worth saving
if its you that i've got
and i know that the waiting
gets inside of your thoughts
and the time that its taking
makes it feel like its wrong

thought that we'd do it again on the same street
making nightmares out of daydreams
june as cold as my face feels
but its easier when you hate me
i just always thought it was safe here

and i don't know how to tell you when its over
could you hide it from the start?

tell me again how it gets in your head
i'm just leaving its better this way
i'm just a second away
i'm just a second away
what would you call that?

read through the texts, do you wonder instead
why i'm making it easy again?
i'm just a second away
saw how it ends when you stay
and i wish we could fall back

you don't even speak like you know me
straight laying down what you taking out of me slowly
first time on the first night, you're my only
but its so dark, but its so cold
but its lonely

Somewhere Else (prod. triple gemini)

i'll make this my own if it kills me

credits:
@jolst
@toobears
@punkworldthreat
@x1fern
@fantasycamp
@ejcarrmusic

lyrics:
I can't win 'em all
I'm on fuck 'em all
I won't take the fall
If i did no wrong
I don't know what to say
People want me gone
I can't live my life this way
I had to change up

I can't spell it out
Where I'm from, where I'll go
I know I've been trying hard
Getting out of my home
It's a cycle that repeats
I ain't getting any sleep
I'm so tired of the cold
Wear the willow when it weeps

I could cry, but the tears all dried up
Baby what's your sign? I got trouble keeping up
And I'll always take the drive, I don't wanna fly up
Monaco my thighs and the chain is grape tucked

I want it all on me
Winter, fall on me
In the sky, turning blind
Keep it tall on me
I'm alright, no I'm fine
You can call on me
My disguise, in your eyes
Nothing altering

Nothing altering
Catch me when I'm faltering
I wanna be something so badly you know that I'm trying, you know that I'm offering
But you see through me
Purple with the bruising
Keep it in my cup
'Cause it's the only thing that's soothing

I've been like done, I've been like fuck 'em all
I'm never having much luck with y'all
I was just trying to show some love
But I'm left here in the dust
Cold like the winter
And I don't want to hinder
So I've been fading slowly
Wonder why I'm so bitter

I can't win 'em all
I'm on fuck 'em all
I won't take the fall
If i did no wrong
I don't know what to say
People want me gone
I can't live my life this way
I had to change up

I can't spell it out
Where I'm from, where I'll go
I know I've been trying hard
Getting out of my home
It's a cycle that repeats
I ain't getting any sleep
I'm so tired of the cold
Wear the willow when it weeps

spotify & apple

tearduct (ft. 1fern) [jolst x punk]

prod. metlast x sor
mix: me
master: teddyboi (@yoimn3ver)
art: my girlfriend <3

lyrics:

close, but i can’t finish it
just know, that i don’t wanna be close tonight
when im at home, i feel the pain sink in
bottle after bottle after bottle down my throat 

know, that i can’t let go, this simply
of something that took time to put together
but clearly these bonds have been severed

don’t get too close, you’ll let the pain in
frost lands on my nose, it’s come im shaking
she knows, that she shouldn’t get close
but it’s freezing 

3 in the morning
i should be sleeping but im not
this anxiety has got its grip on me
this is something you won’t see
cause you’re caught up in a dream
so far away from the disease
im begging im down im on my knees
for someone to save me
but no one’s here lately 

close, but i can’t finish it
just know, that i don’t wanna be close tonight
when im at home, i feel the pain sink in
bottle after bottle after bottle down my throat

know, that i can’t let go, this simply
of something that took time to put together
but clearly these bonds have been severed

don’t get too close, you’ll let the pain in
frost lands on my nose, it’s come im shaking
she knows, that she shouldn’t get close
but it’s freezing

now you see me
now you don’t
now i’m gone and missing
you shouldn’t have gotten close

close (metlast x sor)

a trace of me
spend a night invested by the sea
spend a life not knowing what it means
but you could always have the best of me
at anytime in any form you please

maybe we take enough to miss the signs
i couldn't handle another night
held in your prescence in coastal light
glimpse of your life its been all of mine
i take it in and i come to life
i make a move like its justified 
fuck it all up for the hundreth time
travel your thoughts and its hard to find

spend a night invested by the sea
spend a life not knowing what it means
but you could always have the best of me
when you come home its easier to breathe

i wonder how its different second time
funny how it changes in your mind
stumble through the wreckage of your life
numb yourself to make it out alive

all that you are
just as all that i want
find me closing the door 
see me turning it off

something wasn't funny but i could not change like
i've been outside in a fucked up brain
felt so much that i could not say
when it gets this dark never goes away
i start getting tired of it
all in my thoughts its just siphoning
all of my life im inside of it
we should have died but its fine its only me

spend a night invested by the sea
spend a life not knowing what it means
but you could always have the best of me
when you come home its easier to breathe

but i would take it back now if i could
tuning out my senses just enough
and yeah i know we all think way too much
searching for a trace of what it was

By the Sea

lyrics

a long time ago there was hope in my eyes
but now i just see whats in front of me
n if im not awake can u open my eyes?
n try to make me wake up manually

and those boys on ur phone seem nice
but do they make you songs whenever they see u cry?
i swear on my life that im trying
just wait for july
theyll be lining up to hear me outside
theyll be lining up to hear me outside

stop talking if this bottles my last drink i wanna make it count
i seem to think better when theres no one around
all i need is a smoke and the sun down
then i can make you proud
kid dont want fame he wants the riches
his wife and not the bitches
drunken swashbuckler im singing to the fishes
n i know when i die no one will listen but the mrs.
like woah
i traded all my friends for some peace of mind
i cant go outside tonight im busy making rhymes
but u dont need to worry baby girl im fine
its just one of those nights

and those boys on ur phone seem nice
but do they make you songs whenever they see u cry?
i swear on my life that im trying
just wait for july
theyll be lining up to hear me outside
theyll be lining up to hear me outside

drunken sailors shanty (jacob vallen)

im losing count what number single but its on the @fleshgolem album nonetheless

lyrics

my life is a ticking time bomb
u play the right song
and all of the wires will spark

life’s short then why it feel long?
i’m tryna right wrongs
while surrounded in dark

love myself
i’ve been tryna get to that place
no words said
i would never come out of that place
i don’t know what to say anymore
a thousand notes on my phone that’s jus stored

i wanna get to sleep on time
i been heavyheaded got a lotta stress on my mind
medicating just sleep at all
plenty ppl fall
but i can’t just lose what i used to die for

i don’t check the safety
just vibin lately
the pressure tryna take me
won’t let it change me 
suffer more suffer less, it’s all the same 
had no choice still a voice yelling change

she said can u lov me for the moment
but it don’t mean as much so y’s it so important 
u see thru my lens shit distorted 
why u want me to against the grain again and again
its jus pain, its jus pain, uh its jus pain its jus pain
￼

Somewhere Else (prod. triple gemini)

Greenwood

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