My old mac  dieth a death so here's a bit of a kitchen table bash around .   My fingers are not what they were so i play what i can find.  someday I'll probably wind up bashing out a beat with my head on the refrigerator and singing along. I hope you are all well. If you're dead you'll obviously know it's nothing to worry about...                                I woke up this morning or at least I think that I did...I found my medication and I wrestled with the lid....my bathroom mirror is telling me that I'm not half the man I used to be.....

. I've got a hole in my gut I'm really feeling my age, I'm paying the price for my wicked little ways, I was out last night with a woman from the moon, she says that better days are coming and they're coming soon but I ain't half the man I used to be.

Half the Man. ( Stevek )

Well I almost scrapped this song but after 3 weeks writing words, and then realizing how fun it is to sing, i kept it. I'm trying to figure out how to add a little lightheartedness to my music, but i think this one just turned out creepy lol. NOTE:  I always felt a little uncomfortable with the words, i just really didn't like them, so I reworked the chorus and a few other lines, and rerecorded the vocals. It seems a little better now...
 

I've seen my own worst enemy
Every night just staring back at me
Through the mirror with such animosity
And baby, it drives me crazy
I don’t understand what’s with this guy,
He don’t know that he’s alive
He combs his hair on the wrong side

I don’t expect you to understand,
But I’ve got these hammers for my hands
I like to start with everything
and smash away what I don’t need
and scattered all around are the pieces off of me
oh baby can’t you see what this done has to me

It’s a strange strange situation 
I need a little information
If it’s real or just imagination
Don’t say it’s so, I can’t believe 
Its down to you and me again
Up against the world my friend
Who can say   how this will end
 
It’s 3am and you’re slamming doors
Cause ‘I don’t speak your language anymore’
While I’m on my knees picking pieces
Of me up off the floor, 
I can’t lose much more, these pieces could be the last of me,
I wish I could see the way you see
is there anything left in this debris

Hammer Hands

Stephanie Barbutova:  Vocals
Ben Juul:  Drums, Mixing & Mastering at Tone Hill, NY
Dirk Taubenheim:  Guitars, Bass, Vocals at Vestervang, DK

This is the story of an elderly gentleman who succumbed to the charms of a beautiful young woman and was only used by her for her own ends.

S U G A R   D A D D Y

Such a big disappointment
I feel like I´m being used
as I´m sitting here in silence
just hurt and so confused

I wasn´t     much more than     your stepping stone
a stupid     sugar daddy     who paid it all alone

you made me     think we were     more than just friends
you took all     that I had     every song, every cent

INTRO

Such a great enchantment
your voice can make tough men cry
once you get the attention
your beauty blinds the guys

BRIDGE    ohohoho

CHORUS

INTRO

Such a huge illusion
all the promises you broke
among all guys you´ve been foolin'
I was just another bloke

BRIDGE   ohoho

Everything Must Go

Sugar Daddy  (Bye-Bye Paris Girl)

(Free WAV Download available here under '••• More'; and eventually, as part of a future solo album)

Latin, literally ‘not having control of one's mind’.

If there was ever a time in my life when I questioned the sanity of the world, this would be it. So many things are not working; and so many people in power seem to want to keep it that way. How does one maintain hope (and provide others hopeful ideas), when the daily news tells such a different story? At what point do the hopeful messages just feel out of touch, rather than helpful?

Bo Burnham’s comedy special ‘Inside’ (on Netflix, but you can find several skits on YouTube as well) should be recommended viewing for all human beings right now. It’s a brilliantly insightful and snarky view of the world we live in, and a candid peek into his struggles facing that world. Half charming, half alarming… he is unapologetic and razor sharp in how he interprets the modern age. Here’s a line from one of the opening songs that really hit home for me:

"The more I look, the more I see nothing to joke about. Is comedy over? Should I leave you alone? Cause really who's gonna go for joking at a time like this? Should I be joking at a time like this? I wanna help to leave this world better than I found it. And I fear that comedy won't help, and the fear is not unfounded."

This so accurately summarizes how I feel right now. Is what I’m doing helping? Or does (you pick the hot topic driving you nuts at the moment) seem so out of control, that I seem out of touch with reality… trumpeting loving and hopeful messages in the face of the chaos? 

In the end, I feel there are only two paths available to us at any given time; activity and inactivity. I don’t know that the specific activity matters as much as the drive and purpose behind that activity. I suspect the point is simply to do anything positive that tells the universe where your heart and intent are focused. The alternative… inactivity probably looks a lot like freezing in your tracks, getting lost in fear (or anger, which I consider a sub-category of fear)… and refusing to (or feeling like you can’t) move forward. It’s pretty easy to imagine how that energy won’t be helping anyone… especially you.

So maybe it’s as simple as just doing something that seems meaningful to you. Maybe that means protesting. Or donating to causes that align with your values. It might be conserving water, limiting waste, and recycling. Perhaps it’s providing your services and skills to someone in need; or simply smiling at someone as you pass them on the street. And it can also take the form of artistic and creative expression; a valuable offering for people in need of evocative images, sounds and ideas. All of these things hold power. And all are important in my mind. So rather than questioning whether we’re doing the right things, or enough of the right things… maybe we just need to follow our hearts (not our minds), and see where that leads us. Our hearts already seem to know us better than we know ourselves anyway. Let’s try trusting that little fellow, and see where it takes us.

I hope you enjoy my latest sonic adventure, ‘Non Compos Mentis’. :)

WTF! The Musical

Non Compos Mentis

My new song with piano, electric piano, bass, drums, koto, synths and vocals! 😊🎶❤️🎹🎤

Thank you to my lovely bf Sander for this gorgeous master. @wane-of-summer 😊❤️

PERMISSION

i wrote this one with an old friend in mind who left me much too soon...............cheers for having a listen

You Know What I Mean

COtu - Production, Guitars
Negative Headphone - Production, Guitars
Mix by the amazing Negative Headphone

check him out out
https://soundcloud.com/negative-headphone

Phases

Phases    - - - - - - Negative Headphone and COtu

New recording of this song that was in the finals of the NZ MLT songwriting awards 2010


Is This Who I Think It Is 

Another tumble ‘cross the dance floor
A tender hold onto someone I call my own 
A look into her eyes that lingers
Another drink that goes from loving hand to hand

Is this who I think it is
A touch and a blown kiss
I look at her
I look at him
Is this who I think it is

A frozen minute in a lifetime
I lurch and stumble to the dancers of the night 
As I push myself between them 
My life with her is playing out in black and white

I wonder at the blind man
Who was missing all the clues
Once a happy go lucky guy
Now with leaden shoes

I am dancing in a wasteland
She is speaking but I cannot hear a sound
Her face resigned to do to her duty
I can see him and his eyes are shifting round

Is This Who I Think It Is

Not In Your Hands (2022)

Produced by. Mason Elijah Morrison 



The Abstract Mind Mixtape

Not In Your Hands

Arrival

rezn

(Jan 9th, 2025) Just a quick message to let you know I'm not going to be active here for a while. If you need to reach me, you can always message me at GrevusAnjl@mac.com. 
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Welcome to my sonic playground. I don't consider myself a skilled musician. I just sculpt sounds to quiet my mind... often with surprising and humorous results. Thank you for stopping by. I hope you enjoyed your visit. :)