What an emotional roller coaster it was to find out I’m pregnant to this song

Ｉ　ＤＯＮ＇Ｔ　ＴＨＩＮＫ　Ｉ＇Ｍ　ＲＥＡＬ

//私の軌道の悪魔//

i can't thank you guys enough for the endless amount of love & support you've given me since the start. i never thought in a million years we'd be where we're at right now & it's crazy to me that we still continue to grow. it's always been a release for me to let loose on a track & hear what you guys think of it. it's always been for the people & for myself. i love waking up every morning & reading every single comment, every single message, etc. you guys put the biggest fucking smiles on my face & i hope you all know i'm here for you as much as you're here for me. i've struggled with my anxiety & depression for years & to know a lot of you are going through the same things is somewhat comforting. we're in this together. i couldn't do any of this without you guys. we're gonna strive & do great things, i promise. don't let your demons get the best of you. i hope you enjoy this one. i love you

check out the music video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xtv87HVgnpo&t=1s

art by chunniboy
be sure to give him lots of love
goo.gl/asxd7w

music video

demons in my orbit

Still stuck in my emo phase
Lyrics:


I've got the whole world on my back

Yeah, cause I'm 5'9, 165 
Established 1995 
Living like I'm not getting out alive 
Ima take a second just to tell you why 

I had thoughts since 6th grade 
That this world was not made for the sake 
of the people like me 
who can't see past their mistakes, and  misdeeds 

And I bleed the same blood you bleed
So why are you tryna cut me? 
Why's there always something you want from me?
Why can't you be happy for me?

That I'm not that kid on the phone screaming fuck this world I'm leaving? 
Like when I was sixteen and,  it still feels like I'm dreaming
When I call your phone and realize I forgot to breath in 
Forgot the grave that he's in 
I hope you know I mean it 

When I say I'm only here today cause this music keeps me breathing 
It's my only healing

I'm not alone if you can feel it

I'm not alone, if you know the bliss 
When i  heard that girl don't slit her wrists no more
From that time I reminisced at my show 
Told her there's reasons to stay don't go 

Don't push your family away I know 
They don't understand all the pain you hold 
Im just as sad know you're not alone 
Don't let your story go untold 





 I know you're here in spirit, put on deja entendu 
The only time I'm sad now is when I think of you
I hope one day these kids get some of my lyrics tattooed 
But If I only help one of them then I did it for all you 
I don't know how she's doing, no we haven't stayed in touch 
But I helped her put the knife down and that means so fucking much
I hope one day these kids get some of my lyrics tattooed 
But If I only helped one of them then I did it, I did it for you

I Hope You Know I Mean It

Thank you for everyone who has supported me and my friends! i will miss you flowars <3

Links-
@guardinmusic
@daddydandy

flowars x guardin x yung van - lavender dreams (Prod. charlie c)

a mess, inside a body of a man

featuring my friend @guardinmusic

blackheartemoji
an album from @prodbybrody and thebreathingbackwards

lyrics: https://genius.com/thebreathingbackwards-what-i-am-lyrics

blackheartemoji

spotify

what i am (ft. guardin)

ＴＨＥ　ＶＯＩＣＥＳ　ＩＮ　ＭＹ　ＨＥＡＤ　ＣＯＬＬＩＤＥ

//私は私の心を失った//

i recently purchased a new ukulele after i gave mine away back in november, so i thought it'd only make sense to whip up a fresh uke track for you guys. i hope you enjoy it. 

i love you <3

lyrics
--------
this song brings on the weather
tear drops upon my sweater
i cry in bed whenever
i see you guys together
fuck love it's all a lie
i can't sleep i rather die
than see that look in your eye
it sucks that i'm not your guy

i think you're really cool like
i think you're really cool like
i think you're really cool like
i think you're really cool like

i packed my bags last week
sunrise and i'm on my feet
let's skip town and chase our dreams
cause this place ain't what it seems
come home let's synchronize
my soft lips caress your thighs
you get me so fucking high
the voices in my head collide 

i think you're really cool like
i think you're really cool like
i think you're really cool like
i think you're really cool like

keep your voice down
she don't care no
i can't breathe i've got no air 
no sympathy for my despair
i cut my wrists and grow my hair 
i'm outta my mind

i think you're really cool

shoutout to https://soundcloud.com/bornhero for the amazing beat <3

lyrics:
where i belong 
i do not know
stuck in my room
crying at home
watching the parties from my distant phone
everyone always just leaves me alone
i do not know
how to fit in
smoking me out
ripping a spliff  
everyone loves me when i go and dip
everyone loves me when i go and dip

everyone leaves me on read
everyone leaves me for dead
stuck in my bed once again
writing the same lines in pen
everyone leaves me on read
everyone leaves me for dead
stuck in my bed once again
writing the same lines in pen
i'm stuck here 
writing simple songs
hope to take the pain away
when my eyes turn to gray
i know 
that my secrets buried deep below the bong
will release
every thought i'm feeling making me do wrong

where i belong
i will not know
every weekend i'm feeling so low
no where to go 
staying at home
staring at walls scrolling twitter alone
hit up my phone
leave you on read
people around treating me like i'm dead
feel like a ghost
no one will post
sit in my bed think about you again   

no one invites me to parties
sit in a car acting sorry
girls playing me like atari
soon i'll blow up like i'm carti
no one invites me to parties
sit in a car acting sorry
girls playing me like atari
soon i'll blow up like i'm carti

i take control of the whip in my mind
driving me places that i can't define
exploring the road, taking my time
lie to my friends when i say i'm alright
where have i gone
i do not know 
hop in the car and i'm driving alone
phone is on silent not trusting these tones
i feel the weight all the way to my bone

where i belong 
i do not know
stuck in my room
crying at home
watching the parties from my distant phone
everyone always just leaves me alone
i take control of the whip 
going straight 90 i dip
exploring the vessel of me
tell me about what you see

where i belong (prod. born hero)

lyrics
--------
i bet you like
the way that i
sit inside on a friday night
doing nothing with my life
while you’re out partying with other guys 
but i’m not wise 
& these aren't lies
according to you it’s all in my mind
but i see the things that they post online
and it makes me sick to my fucking spine
i worry a lot about the day you leave 
cause the day you leave is the day i leave 
and i think too much about suicide 
about killing time 
about time i try 
something new 
cause this shit gets old but i love the way that she says i love you
and i tried many times to rewind to the days you were mine
and i tried many times to erase what we made what have i done
cause a part of me died when you left in november that night 
think he’s right beside you telling you what to say to me why
do i think what i think cause i think i’m in love with a lie

inside

didn't feel right to do w/o the boy @guardinmusic , hope y'all get this stuck in your heads.

s/o to @ _ikiryo_art on insta for the pretty visual

lyrics:

[flowars]
Everything you do is so damn perfect
Even when you're killing me
I love the way you look with bloodstained lips, so sexy
You can suck me dry until I'm dead or dying I'm okay with either,
Only for the monster with my heart in hand will I ever suffer

I'll protect you fallen angel, and your demons too
I don't hate you for your nature, I'm a monster too
Tear my heart to pieces and I'll piece it back together
Just to keep the peace I'll suffer with you for forever

Happy will never matter as long as you get your way,
I'm happy just to have you but it's suicide to stay
Who am I today, who are you but sorrow?
Sometimes I dread tomorrow, I feel my life is borrowed
Sometimes my chest feels hollow, and that's just because she swallowed

My sweet temptress, evil empress, poison princess don't lose interest
I might distress, I get so depressed when you leave me; cold and bleeding

Everything you do is so damn perfect
Even when you're killing me
I love the way you look with bloodstained lips, so sexy
You can suck me dry until I'm dead or dying I'm okay with either,
Only for the monster with my heart in hand will I ever suffer

[guardin]
she likes the way my hands glide
up her hipbones in the moonlight
kiss my chest and 
leave an imprint
lost my mind again
girl don't trip it's
like whatever
my heart isn't together
my mind is in the sky with chance of cloudy weather
it's okay if i let her down she'll find someone better
if lying to myself is what it takes then imma let her drown
and i can drown too
these bottles in my bedroom
they comfort me in silence sippin' violently like you do
the corner of my lip is split from smoking like a damn fool
if words don't have a meaning why the fuck i got these tattoos?

[flowars]
I'm just food for you my love
Break my rib and suck my blood
I'm just food for you my love
Drink till you're drunk
Or I'm ash and dust

Don't gaze too deep in her eyes
There's a pain that she could never hide
You wear such a pretty disguise
Lure me and I'm so mesmerized

you're a blood sucking pest and I know
love is a test and I'll pass another go

bloodsucker (feat. guardin)

bloodsucker ft. guardin (prod. 8milotb)

lyrics
--------
i don't think i've
ever been this fucking stressed in my life
creature part two isn't finished i lied
just to get them off my back though i tried
i can't create when i'm dying inside
moving this weekend i wish i could fly
don't have my car but i still gotta drive
pack up the uhaul and tell my mom bye
hop on i-86 thinkin' bout why

am i like this
i don't like this
all my friends are enemies behind my eyelids
losing sleep i drive all week and raise my mileage
guardin cut his fucking hair now i don't like him
depression take me by 25
fuck going out i'll just stay inside
this isn't you i say to myself every night lately i contemplate suicide
oh but you're famous online so your life must be great they say but that's a fucking lie
crawl into bed around seven a.m. and the headaches come full force i wanna die

hey holywood would your people ever like me?
misunderstood is all i ever might be

all i ever might be

just a spontaneous drop, ur welcome.
random art bc i didn't have anything.
tell her that u love her.

producer/beat link:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LkpHPuKmxSo

can i get ur number

can i get ur number [prod. fatheryelvy]

lyrics
--------
it's three o' clock
times running out
i rather sleep in than write all about
how i'm depressed
how to get out
cause i don't know shit i said fuck it & made it work out  
i'm a mess
i guess
but for some reason they stay impressed
i'm a pessimist 
optimism is something i miss
i kinda knew i'd be here all alone
but i never thought i'd do this shit & do it on my own
start writing stop checkin' on your phone
my mind races at some paces that are currently unknown

i'm not stoned
well maybe just a bit
hard to write a song if i don't take another hit
cancel all your plans today you're bout to write a hit
probably fucking not but you won't know unless you sit

does the energy around you ever get
inside your cerebellum tell me everything is shit
sleep away the day again and call it fucking quits
an easle to present a thought about the way i live
2017 was the year that i thought i'd kick
the bucket underneath my feet and slide into the pit
reach into the sky and said the clouds are looking lit
but angels never die so imma respawn real quick

did this kid really name his album after his cat
does he smoke a lot and how's his mom feel bout that?
dude please check my music out my shit really slaps
fuck you dickhead why won't you dm me back?
y'all really wanna work with me well how about that?
these lines are real dm's that i'll never hit back
i don't sell features so don't ask about that
god please don't hit me with another group chat 

it's three o' clock
times running out
i rather sleep in than write all about
how i'm depressed
how to get out
cause i don't know shit i said fuck it & made it work out 
i'm a mess
i guess
but for some reason they stay impressed
i'm a pessimist 
optimism is something i miss
i kinda knew i'd be here all alone
but i never thought i'd do this shit & do it on my own
start writing stop checkin' on your phone
my mind races at some paces that are currently unknown

follow taylor morgan

creature (prod. taylor morgan)

make your dreams your reality

△cid c△stle


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i think you're really cool

guardin

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