always a nice song to come back to after a bad day. 

I feel this verse most.. “i dont know how tf you expect to save me” ive been through the ringer and i feel as though i want make it out. I try and find my way out or something/someone to help me but it dosnt work. 👽

i always come back to this song and it encapsulates everything that im feeling <3

lyrics
--------
we could become fireworks and burn out in the sky
lost stability in august but we're almost to july
spread the message out to everyone it's worth another try
i'll convince both you & i that i am fine
i am fine i am fine 

this is the song that you play when you feelin the worst
this is the one that you crank until both of your speakers don't work
this is the song that you play when you're down in the dirt
this is the one that you hate cause you know you relate & you know that it hurts
this is the song that you play on a rainy day
everything's shit
hand me the bottle & i'll take the pain away
yeah
vices in ice & i sip till it fade away
life is a blur & i think i might hurl if it comes back up straight away

i just always feel alone in all of this
maybe i could talk about it write some shit
cause everybody going through the motions with
their lives & in an instant we could not exist
so why the fuck am i so silent hiding this
my suicidal tendencies of violence
against myself are scaring me & i'll be missed
if i decide to take a leap in my abyss

i am fine

fireworks

lyrics
--------
raindrops come to life
i told you a million times
some obsess & some are nice
come inside come inside
raindrops come to life
i called you so mortified
it pushed up in your weary mind
come inside come inside

you're taking me out of it
out of the rain but the clouds will remain
yeah you're taking me out of it
god i'm ashamed of who i became
yeah the face is anonymous
but i can detect based upon dialect
cause he still stays synonymous
to me because we are the same entity
disembody him

raindrops come to life
i told you a million times
some obsess & some are nice
come inside come inside
raindrops come to life
i called you so mortified
it pushed up in your weary mind
come inside come inside

awaken the audience
cause i've got a show & it's ready to go
yeah awaken the audience
the curtains hang low so pull em back slow 
is his character obvious
developing woes as he tips on his toes
tryna bottle his rowdiness
with a grip his soul i can feel him let go
he's victorious

raindrops come to life
i told you a million times
some obsess & some are nice
come inside come inside
raindrops come to life
i called you so mortified
it pushed up in your weary mind
come inside come inside

stratus

lyrics
--------
so take all that stress
decompress it & hang it up right at the door
feeling like this isn't fun anymore
not that it ever was
but lately everyone's 
misunderstanding what's really import
tantalizing sights & feelings ignored
paths to get over it never explored
overgrown nothingness
stemmed from destruction
it's deeply embedded beneath all my subsidence

goodness gracious
i'm so cold
my body's filled with brittle bones
they'll break and bend as i grow old
i hope your hand is mine to hold
goodness gracious
i'm alone
broken my sticks & thrown my stones
i'll go somewhere where no one knows me
i don't mind being this lonely  

so maybe it's grim
but i'll spill on a whim about all that i think
my thoughts subside till i'm pushed to the brink
miscalculated
so often equated
to shit so insane i think i need a shrink
traumatized by flies that hatch in my head
metamorphosis ensued till i'm dead
it's funny how they can grow
little do they all know
their home is rotting & damn near condemned

dissociation 
deserting my patience
i don't think i'll wake up & realize
that feeling this vacant
no communication
is simply leaving me terrorized
i see all these faces
inside of the places
that only exist when i close my eyes
so if this is a phase 
that is bound to erase
then i guess that i ought to just give it time
 
goodness gracious
i'm so cold
my body's filled with brittle bones
they'll break and bend as i grow old
i hope your hand is mine to hold
goodness gracious
i'm alone
broken my sticks & thrown my stones
i'll go somewhere where no one knows me
i don't mind being this lonely  

all i ever will be
is someone that'll kill me 
a parasitic head fuck
monotonous & willing
all i ever wished for
is sanity by twenty four
but i never got that
i never got that

all i ever will be

lyrics
--------
i am quickly realizing
all the problems that i'm facing
all exist inside this hatred
for myself my thoughts are racing
is there anybody out there
feeling dim, dark & depleting
what is safe cause all i fear is near
& death i'll soon be greeting
i truly wish the flickering would stop
& i could catch my breath
but this films left on repeat again
somehow you soon forget 
you've damn near downed your second bottle
drunken words in full effect
these sober thoughts have always lived here
driving by until they wreck

i'm fucking numb
(yeah)
you don't know a thing about the terror that i breathe into my lungs
and i don't know a thing about myself other than what is soon to come

i think the sky is falling
but it's my imagination
overcasting on & off again
to form a new foundation
hopefully i reconstruct myself
it might take quite a while
obsolete upon comparison
these scars all stretch for miles
i'll never find the person i was then
he's buried deep below
subterranean inhabitant
i hope he likes the snow
did the soul inside his body
ever find his way back home
am i talking in third person
yeah i guess we'll never know

i'm fucking numb
(yeah)
you don't know a thing about the terror that i breathe into my lungs
and i don't know a thing about myself other than what is soon to come

dim, dark, depleting

lyrics
--------
watch the branches fall
and the leaves ignite the path that saves us all
in the midst of all of this
i will take us home

episode 9,017
an epiphany
i don't know what the hell you mean
everything feels like it's played out on a screen
throwing stones in broken homes in hopes that it'll set me free
illustrations in my
head will be my demise
i'm sick & tired of trying something new
there's a stranger that lives
underneath all of my skin
he let's himself in again
if only you knew

watch the branches fall
and the leaves ignite the path that saves us all
in the midst of all of this
i will take us home

i will take us home

lyrics
--------
i'm getting bit up by all of the mosquitoes
blister my skin drink my blood like a needle
collect my dna in a vile
clone me again make me less suicidal
my only wish is to regain a smile
i really miss summer days as a child
six flags, suplexes, eddie guerrero
now it's just sex, some caffeine and the narrow
stairs album by the band death cab for cutie
i fear that eventually someone will shoot me
a loop of that scene from american beauty
but this ones for real it's not just from a movie
my anxietys got the worst of me lately
i don't know how the fuck you expect to save me
cause i can't save myself and honestly baby
i want you to know that i hate me
 
if you made it this far then you're probably still dreaming
listen to this when you feel like you need it
my only wish is to regain a smile
i really miss summer days as a child

mosquito

lyrics
--------
lost boy hoping i find my way home
lost sight of why i'm here & where the fuck i should go
one hundred twenty miles from my area code
spilt whiskey on my shirt inside this evergreen home
might tumble down & fall beneath the thick of the mist
a silhouette sat in the distance comes & swings with a miss
i climb trees just to save myself from what could've been
& hide high upon this mountain with a pad & a pen

the drifter lives down the road
& if he follows me home
then i'll pack everything & leave till i know
that i am safe beside my company although he's below
& then he'll gut me like a pig & leave my bones to the crows
& this time i've convinced myself that i'm gonna die
oh i don't think that it's alright but i'll just pray to the sky
i'll find a god in what i sing & sing it every night
and maybe time will tell my story i won't put up a fight

cause fear leads me towards destruction
crippled unable to function
full of unwanted assumptions
petrified by my consumptions
used to hide along the meadow
and now i practice my falsetto
i've been like this from the get-go
i don't ever wanna let go

the walls we build hide all the bodies
of everyone who lives inside me

the drifter

lyrics
--------
how can
you live with yourself
when you took another life from the innocent
how can
you sleep at night
knowing you just took the boy's last breath
a cold sweat
steady your breathing
just keep on repeating the last step
forget
everything that you did
your existence of regret

he was a hero in this town
wore his whole heart on a damn string
scribble the faces of all of these people
cause they won't ever know a damn thing
what a shame
you had lots to offer to the world
you were more than just a name
this sort of thing
doesn't happen often round here
but the stories all the same so

how can
you live with yourself
when you took another life from the innocent
how can
you sleep at night
knowing you just took the boy's last breath
a cold sweat
steady your breathing
just keep on repeating the last step
forget
everything that you did
your existence of regret

follow xlhc

silver bullet (prod. xlhc)

prod. @its-naawoj

lyrics
--------
strawberry blunt ash flicked to the pavement
drank too much my minds outta place
this long walk home i hope i can make it
make it
make it

twas the night
i never felt so alive
then you crossed my mind
i tried to leave you behind
but of course you hide
kept out of reach & unkind
so my pulse will rise
as i look into those eyes
and i know
i don't wanna go where you're always chasing
leave me to the road as i start erasing
everything i know it's yours for the taking
take it
take it
walking all alone my feet start to ache
this party isn't over until i say it's
over and i'm over you when i'm waking
waking
waking

waking up to the sun
the stars don't know where i've been
bad luck is all that i know
bad luck is all that i am

i don't wanna go where you're always chasing
leave me to the road as i start erasing
everything i know it's yours for the taking
take it
take it
walking all alone my feet start to ache
this party isn't over until i say it's
over and i'm over you when i'm waking
waking
waking

follow naawoj

bad luck (prod. naawoj)

lyrics
--------
fuck my life
fuck my health
you don't care so i'll go fuck myself
fuck this job
fuck this car
every song that i write just coexists with a scar
and i've got paragraphs about the shit that i will never say
cause it'll kill you just to hear me whine and bitch all fucking day
maybe the grass is green in other states where i choose to reside
maybe a glimpse of light will formulate and catch my fucking eye
and maybe you'll hear this when you check my page and ask if i'm alright
cause i've been afraid of all the darkest places lying in my mind

i will convince myself i'm dying but then act like i'm just fine
my mind's a scary fucking place and i can't fix it while i drive
but my car is lucy in the sky with diamonds going sixty five
and you're just a pot hole maybe yoko ono screaming by my side
is this the end of things i'm strumming strings just trying to decide
cause i am afraid of me so save me please i beg you just to try
i'm losing my purpose lifes a circus they said please enjoy the ride
my seatbelt is broken eyes wide open as my body starts to slide

if i escape the wreck i'll disconnect from everyone online
i'll pack my belongings i've been longing for this moment my whole life
i'll disappear for months no mentions of my status or a clue
i'm fine don't you worry there's no hurry to return to what i knew
it's hard to calculate these conversations if i'm being truth
-ful i wanna congregate all that relate to everything i spew
in midst of my disconnect i'll stay in check & keep in touch with few
as long as i'm open im just hoping that it's something i'll get through 

cause i'm a fucking wreck
oh what the heck
why do i even try
i lie in the grass
high off my ass
& watch the clouds just pass on by
if life has a purpose
i am nervous
to unravel what is mine
i'll trip & i'll travel
down the rabbit hole
& ditch my bags inside

ditch

lyrics
--------
trippin over every thought
this ain't ever whatchu want
i swear that this house is haunted
it's been like this since the start
all good things must fall apart  
i swear that this house is haunted

trapped in between these halls
asbestos inside the walls
it's getting harder to breathe
and lately i'm in the dark
unaware of where to start
i'm falling hard with the breeze
so tell me the truth are we both really losing our minds
in this state of delusion it's easy to lose track of time
and the hands on this clock haven't spun even close to align
-ing but
they'll come around (x4)

'til then i'm
trippin over every thought
this ain't ever whatchu want
i swear that this house is haunted 
it's been like this since the start
all good things must fall apart  
i swear that this house is haunted

am i really here?
am i not?
is there anywhere that i ought to be
i ain't tryna stay here with these oddities
and honestly it's getting kinda hard to breathe
and hard to speak when barred with teeth
my tongue sittin in my mouth but it's hard to speak
i fall asleep with every fragment haunting me
my dreams turn to nightmares where they're calling me
like hey hi hello it's me how you doing
i'm a ghost to this place amidst of these ruins 
trippin' over every thought
this ain't ever whatchu want
i swear that this house is fucking haunted

trippin over every thought
this ain't ever whatchu want
i swear that this house is haunted 
it's been like this since the start
all good things must fall apart  
i swear that this house is haunted

haunted (prod. young taylor)

make your dreams your reality

△cid c△stle


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