help me be me

Watch the music video here!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BhcnD1DGOz0 

Buy "Rain Boots" on CdBaby here: http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/trumpetgrrrl2  
iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/rain-boots-single/id744814977

Recorded and mixed by GRAMMY award winning producer Scott Jacoby
Mastered by Emily Lazar and asst Rich Morales

Photo by Larkin Goff

First single for my next  EP "Just Listen" to be released in 2014.  


Rain Boots

Sometimes breaking through the pain of negativity takes an extra “jolt.”  If you are on a path to becoming your best self, you might encounter – at random – moments in your life, or days or weeks even, that you lose touch with the brightness and joy that lives inside you.  For whatever reason, you might become trapped in a mood or be overcome once again by your conditions. And often this dark cloud will feed itself – it will become more “true,” more weighty and real, and with your inability to find the salve, the more blind to the falsity of this mood, you become. This is when, once again, we are secretly removed of our power – by fear.  Fear that “we will always be this way” and “how did I believe I could let this part of who I am go” and “the hope I felt was false after all.” 

It is during these moments that “extra-strength” meds come in handy.  And by meds, I mean a profound “jolt” from outside of us: the affects of someone with a lightning bolt of truth that can reach you through that cloud – that lie that is your chemical fear – and “jolt” you out of that physical mood/moment and back into your awareness of joy.  It’s like a hard-restart when the programs won’t stop running. 

If you have been stuck in a chronic dark-cloud of energy, this is a podcast power-up for you. 
For more of my writing and my toolkit book, check out Teaspoon of Happy! 
http://bit.ly/1vyjzl0

And if you like, please post a Testimonial on Teaspoon or review me on iTunes! Xox Sarah May B.


Extra-Strength Lightening Bolt: For Prolonged Bad Moods and a Jolt Out of Negativity

If you’re scared to go home this holiday because you’re worried that you’re going to have painful, triggering-situations with your family, this is a collection of tools for moving through the holiday with balance and grace. So whether or not you decide to skip it this year or move through the experience for the good of the future-you, it always helps to prepare yourself beforehand and have a couple tools ready in your emotional belt.  I will cover a few general categories of painful family dynamics – so depending on your level of pain, choose the one that helps give you the healthiest amount of mental distance and support. 

If you want to read more, keep your eyes peeled for the blog version of this podcast on TeaspoonOfHappy.com or Hello Giggles. Also, I will be adding a supportive happiness challenge to my newsletter for the holiday season so if you are in need of some extra positivity support, head to TeaspoonOfHappy.com and subscribe!  I send you my love peeps - xox Sarah May B. 


Episode 26: Going Back Home for the Holiday - Tools for Managing Hurtful Family Dynamics

Jealousy, or a perception of your insecurities come to life. How does it sneak into your mind? Your darkest thoughts in your most fearful voice begin scratching at your feelings, dragging you down and causing you to act as your lowest self. You assume you are less than and life is against you somehow.  You're either not enough, or something else outside of you is not enough.  What is this emotional state? Your lowest form of self, the self that is motivated by fear and hate, put in a threatened defensive position. Think of it as You minus your awareness of what is good and loving in this world. This low emotional self is also called your irrational self. 

Most of jealousy acts as a hallucination. It does not show you reality it shows you insecure self-loathing reality: in that world, no one likes you and all the fears you have about yourself are true. For many of us it is clear that we are in an emotionally charged, irrational state – however, we cannot stop ourselves from wanting to “solve” for the perceived insult. “Is it true?! If so, how true? I need to know!” Nothing will quench the irrational need to compute “why” we have been betrayed: we go into loops of solving, calculating, tallying, replaying.  And jealousy has a very potent ability to madden us for that reason: it’s all consuming, it belittles us, and we are aware it’s inside of us and us alone.  A self-inflicted pain with the power to torture and haunt our every moment.  

You will never arrive at your truth through jealousy - you can only do that from a calm, objective vantage point - so this is all about stepping back from the emotion so you can regain your sound thinking. The power behind jealousy is also the key to undoing it: it does not live in reality – it lives in our reaction to reality.  So we can indeed help ourselves when we struggle in the triggered moments.  

Hopefully, I will offer you a few tools to help you navigate out of it and back to your true and highest self: grounded, making decisions from a balanced and sane mindset.  There are three parts: The what. They why. The how: the tools. 

This one is for Fran - thanks for writing me and I hope you likee! xox Sarah May B.

Episode 55: Jealousy – How to Rise Above Your Weakest Self

"Tiger By The Tail (v1)"  - (Indie - Upbeat - Drums - Happy)

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This is for anyone has a person in their life who is mistreating them.  For example, let’s say you have an in-law who treats you like a punching bag, or your partner is hurting your feelings on a daily basis, or you have a volatile sibling who speaks to you terribly. It can be really disorienting, especially if you’ve been taking this for a really long time. Plus, with intimate relationships there’s often a trade-off that makes this even more complicated: if this relationship also provides you with rent, or your spouse doesn’t share your hurt perspective – you might feel guilty about having the feelings that you have. 

Caveat: this topic has some overlap with domestic violence but I am not addressing people who are victims of domestic violence. Why? Because in your situation, your physical safety is of primary concern and some of the tools I am offering might threaten that safety. For you I recommend you head to: thehotline.org or google your local domestic violence resource. And know that if you are in a relationship that you have been unable to leave – then know that it’s HARD but it’s not impossible. I’ve read that it takes an average of 7 to 8 times to leave – so whatever you do, don’t give up. 

As with all my episdes, there are three parts – the what, why and how the tools. 

To make a donation and for more of my work, head to YayWithMe.com xo!

Help Me Be Me

Ep 118: Being Treated Like Crap – What to do, how much to take

Shame and trauma cannot be separated – they are incredibly interwoven. The reason I created this episode is shame is virtually unavoidable if you’ve been through a trauma and often times the shame is even harder to process and heal from. Why? Shame is an unseen self-authoring wound. It creates a whole slew of behaviors because we are tasked with carrying it – and as you are aware, shame is toxic. In order for us to contain it we need a wide buffer: a padding between it and consciousness. However, the way we create this is often very damaging and shame-inducing. So it’s a domino effect. And so most people avoid it for many years – why? It is too painful for us to look at. It’s also painful for others – if it tells you anything it’s often also avoided by therapists, because of how much discomfort it causes.

So this is really just an entry-level exploration of possible shame in your person. Inspired by my own recent enlightenments. They happen the tiniest bit at a time. I also have some reading for you on the topic:
Book 1 (for mindfulness intro):
https://amzn.to/378upTT
Book 2 (for more about shame/trauma):
https://amzn.to/2sjyfuz
reference for this piece:
https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/epdf/10.1002/anzf.1275

For comments, requests and to make a donation head to yaywithme.com

Yay.

Ep 122: Shame and Trauma: Unseen Bruises that Define Self

This is an episode all about when you are your base level self. When you are rude, hurtful, intentionally mean, aggressive or difficult with others. Or perhaps you are sad, clingy, manipulative and controlling. In other words, when you act in ways that make you feel really bad about yourself. These states of being usually come about when you are super overworked or stressed, or you’re sleep-deprived or hormonal¬– and you end up snapping at people you love. Regardless of the conditions that set it up, it’s a state of being that perpetuates more of itself via feelings of shame and self-blame. A vicious cycle! So included in this episode are tools to help you navigate out of that state and also retrain yourself if you habitually end up here. 

For more of my work, to make a request, or to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com xo!
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This episode is brought to you by Ned, maker of (awesome) organic CBD products! I very much enjoy these products and they’re made from very high quality ingredients. Go to www.helloned.com/HELPMEBEME or enter HELPMEBEME at checkout for 15% off your first order plus FREE shipping. Thanks!

Ep 125: Base-Level Self: When You're Acting Like a Person You Hate

Help Me Be Me is an emotional toolkit for creating positive change in yourself. I like to think of it as self-help for people who hate self-help. I'm Sarah May, coach/mom/all-around happy person, and these are the tools that work for me in my life. For all of my offerings you can check out YayWithMe.com What I share is my personal opinion. It's not a diagnosis for treatment or a substitute for professional help. If you're suffering, please reach out to your local emergency services or call 9-1-1. Music theme created by www.BookerHillMusic.com

Ep 118: Being Treated Like Crap – What to do, how much to take

Help Me Be Me

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